Tiesa Quedé 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

i love when my children are doomed by the narrative

yugi "no matter the tl dies" amane and kamui "and the illusion of free choice"

SO TRUE, it has to be someone else involved!! after all sigma exists bc they were written in the book, but they stole the page from taneda.

except DoA wrote sigmas existence like "3 years ago this person appeared..." and etc. but that doesn't make sense because fyodor found sigma¿

and i don't know if this makes any sense, srry

Does anyone else kind of feel like there might be a secret third person pulling strings within the decay of angels? Because I kind of get that feeling sometimes. I have absolutely no basis for this tho.

But like Fukuchi and Fyodor are the only members who seem invested in it. Nikolai and Sigma are essentially Fyodor’s plus ones. And does Bram literally even count as a member? I mean that seriously. Like, he doesn’t want to be there, and he’s literally being used as a weapon. A secret weapon up until this point. Why, if it was known that there were five members, would they count the vampire on a stick that Fukuchi enslaved and like keeps hidden in his office or something? What if someone else is the actual last member? Like maybe that’s how Agatha Christie will finally be plot relevant. But more likely it’ll be the guy who wrote the Decay of Angels.

I just feel like we’re missing something there, but I might just be imagining things.

I've been thinking a lot about the one-dimensional kinda fandom interpretations of Dazai and Chuuya in particular - the overemphasis on Dazai's weird brand of mischief/manipulation and Chuuya's anger and tendency to lash out and how it's not like these traits are... wrong, per se - these are their surface level/immediately notable characteristics - it's just that it misses the nuance as to why these traits likely exist.

What these interpretations don't fully capture is their very similar cores deep down - two people plagued by feelings of alienation, human inadequacy and repeated loss. Despite starting from these very similar places, they both dealt with the issue in near opposite ways. Dazai numbed himself to pain (remember: he hates pain! I cannot emphasize this enough!) and rarely gets close to anyone for fear he will lose them - his loss led to apathy, a withdrawal from humanity, a fear that he will always be empty inside - his ability: No Longer Human. Chuuya, on the other hand, refuses to numb himself and instead feels every single emotion in full and values his bonds with others over anything. He wants to belong and makes efforts to be perceived as a part of his group. Underlying this, however, is a kind of tired grief paired with resilience - remember that his ability is Upon the Tainted Sorrow. Not anger, or rage.

Sorrow is what results from this kind of heavy identity crisis and loss - for both of them. Think of Odasaku's read on Dazai as someone who looked close to tears when "acting" in front of the sniper poised to shoot him, describing him to Gide as a too-smart child left in the dark, or the way Stormbringer constantly reminds us that Chuuya is 16 and the desperation he feels in the scene where he holds his own dying clone, unable to help him.

Both characters carry a melancholy, resulting from their respective issues with their own humanity - I know I'm not the first one to comment on how their abilities could just as easily be referring to each other as well as themselves. This reads as very intentional to me - much like Atsushi's story begins as a clear parallel to the short story Rashoumon and Akutagawa sometimes being referred to in more beast-like terms than man, it makes sense that Dazai and Chuuya would reference each other in a similar vein.

And if that was the end of it, then we would expect that deep sorrow to shine through in both characters, but it rarely does except in pivotal moments. That's because the both of them have had to constantly deal with external threats - they believe they cannot afford to show vulnerability.

So, what you get instead is Dazai taking a kind of twisted ownership over his inhumanity and using it to make people afraid of him and to control everything so that he is never blindsided and hurt again, in the process, further alienating himself and making his issues worse. He inflicts fear so he doesn't have to be afraid. He can relax and be as silly as he wants - so long as everything around him is completely according to his predictions. There's a bonus to his foolish demeanour as well: hardly anyone can read him well enough to get close.

Then you get Chuuya, who feels so strongly and so much that it has no choice but to boil over, and due to never being able to or feeling comfortable with being anything but "the strongest", he hides moments when he is touched, or worried, or grieving, with anger and violence and defensiveness. As such, he is always seen as more weapon than person, a cut above the rest, forever standing out to others no matter how much he tries to integrate. The closest he came to true belonging was wrenched away from him before he could have a chance to know what that would actually feel like with the death of the Flags.

These surface traits are defense mechanisms. And the amusing thing to me is that likely means these two would love if that's all most people ever saw of them. (Of course, they clearly do want to be seen and accepted, but defense mechanisms become automatic over time because they often feel much safer. Likely another reason they clash so much - they see each other, and it is deeply uncomfortable for them both.)

So, you have Dazai defending himself with his two-faced nature, making jokes and/or manipulating everyone in the vicinity, and Chuuya defending himself with intimidation and anger, never letting any vulnerability show through because anger is easier but at the core of all of this is that loss and that grief and the sorrow and fear that pervades from it.

Japanese Linguistic Observations in Spy x Family - part 1

This is a post series I've been planning for a while and I've finally had the time to complete part 1! 😃 I may have mentioned here before that I got my B.A. in Japanese/East Asian Studies, and even though I'm not fluent, I know the linguistics of the language fairly well. So I thought it would be fun to examine the interesting aspects of the Japanese version of the SxF manga that aren't reflected in the English translation. It might also be an informative experience for those who don't know any Japanese to learn a bit about the language through SxF! I'll try not to get too technical with the linguistics and keep my explanations at a beginner's level.

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Part 1 - Twilight's "honne and tatemae"

One of the main themes in SxF is how many of the characters have secrets they want to hide, so they act a certain way in front of others in order to mask their true selves. Japanese has a word for this phenomena called 本音と建前 ("honne and tatemae").

I remember learning about the concept of "honne and tatemae" during my Japanese college studies – a quick google search will yield a lot of publications on the topic and its relation to Japanese culture in particular. While the idea of hiding one's true intentions behind a fake facade can exist anywhere and is not something unique to Japan, it is enough of an occurrence in Japanese culture that there are specific words for it. The Wiki article has a basic but good definition of honne and tatemae, to quote:

A person's honne may be contrary to what is expected by society or what is required according to one's position and circumstances, and they are often kept hidden, except with one's closest friends. Tatemae is what is expected by society and required according to one's position and circumstances, and these may or may not match one's honne. In many cases, tatemae leads to outright telling of lies in order to avoid exposing the true inward feelings.

Sounds very much like the characters in SxF, doesn't it? Twilight especially, because unlike other characters like Yor and Anya, who simply have secrets they need to keep but don't create fake personas for themselves, Twilight does – the cheerful, friendly Loid Forger is a different person from the cold, calculating Twilight after all. Also unlike Yor and Anya, who speak the same way consistently no matter who they're talking to, Twilight uses different speech levels depending on which persona he's using and who he's talking to.

There are many different levels of speech in Japanese, ranging from super formal to totally crude. These speech levels are distinguished mostly by the pronouns the speaker chooses to use for themselves and who they're speaking to, as well as how they choose to conjugate the words they use. For example, 座ってください (suwatte kudasai), 座って (suwatte,) and 座れ (suware) all mean "sit," as in, telling someone to sit down. But the tone being conveyed is different: the first one is polite, the second one is casual, and the last one could be seen as rude if you're not using it with a close friend/family member.

As Twilight, he uses casual speech with the masculine and less polite pronoun 俺 or オレ (ore). This is the speech he uses when talking to a fellow spy like Fiona, and for his own inner thoughts.

As Loid Forger, he uses the polite 敬語 (keigo) speech, which is basically comprised of using the -ます (-masu) conjugation for verbs and the "to be" verb です (desu). He also uses the pronoun ボク or 僕 (boku), which is the standard male pronoun and more polite than "ore." He uses keigo to address pretty much everyone who doesn't know his true identity. When talking to a higher-up like Sylvia, he'll still use "ore" but will use polite speech instead of casual speech.

Anya is an exception to this: with her, he uses his most casual speech, the same as he uses with Franky.

I discussed a bit about this in part 24 of my Twiyor analysis posts, but this could be because Anya is a little kid, so he doesn't feel the need to put on any airs with her (same with Bond, whom he also uses casual speech with).

An interesting side note is that, as a child, Twilight used the pronoun "boku" but then changed to "ore" as soon as he became an adult/soldier.

Another aspect of keigo, besides using the more polite forms of pronouns and verb conjugations, is putting the honorific さん (san) after people's names. Twilight does this all the time with Yor, as she does with him. However, he switches to casual speech and drops the "san" part in her name when addressing her in front of people who (supposedly) believe they're a real married couple, such as Yuri and Fiona – because it would be weird for a real couple who have been married for a year to address each other in such a formal way, especially the husband. In the below panel when Fiona visits them, he's calling her "Yor" instead of "Yor-san" and using casual speech instead of keigo.

Oddly in these situations, while he uses just "Yor" when addressing her directly, he still calls her "Yor-san" when talking about her. During Yuri's first visit for example, he calls her "Yor-san" when telling Yuri how much Anya loves her (talking to someone about her) but then calls her just "Yor" a few moments later when telling her that he'll clean up the spill (talking to her directly). It's strange to me that he wouldn't just consistently use "Yor" whether he's talking to her or about her in these situations...I'm honestly not sure if he does this intentionally or if he just slips up since he's so used to using "Yor-san" in her presence.

*UPDATE* Thank you to @dentedintheworld-blog for enlightening me with the below reply about this!

"In Japanese, when speaking to your spouse's family about your spouse, you address her/him by attaching "san" her/his name out of respect for her/his family. This is also to show her/his family that you respect your spouse. That's why Loid calls Yor with san when he talks about how much he loves Yor to Yuri."

That definitely makes sense for why Twilight switches between "Yor" and "Yor-san" in these situations.

Regardless, this is why the scene in chapter 86 is so significant – when Yor isn't present, there's no reason for him to refer to her as "Yor-san," especially in front of a fellow spy like Fiona who knows he (supposedly) shouldn't have any feelings for her. Yet, even after he just called Yuri by his full name "Yuri Briar" a moment before, he doesn't do the same for Yor and continues to call her "Yor-san" here, much to Fiona's dismay.

In the same chapter, it's also significant that he uses "ore" when addressing Yor directly in his thoughts. Even though he's not speaking out loud, I believe this is the first time he's speaking directly "to" her as Twilight and/or his true self and not as Loid Forger.

But despite all this, I think that both Loid Forger and Twilight are tatemae…they're both masks to hide the person he truly is. The person who fondly talked about his mother to Yor on the park bench, the person who genuinely expressed gratitude for her sacrifice when leaving the resort island, the person who refused to kill Yuri in a life-or-death struggle because he knew it would hurt her…that's his actual honne. But of course, the ongoing conflict of the series is that he has yet to realize this. He won't even show his honne to his closest friend, Franky. Seems like it mostly comes out in dribs and drabs during his interactions with Yor...no surprise there, lol. The man is certainly a work in progress. When he finally starts letting his "honne" show, I'm curious what form of speech he'll adopt.

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Continue to Part 2 ->

SHINRAN & SOUKOKU PARALLELS

i'm sorry. the first time i rewatched the first episode of dcmk after reading bsd (more than 2 years ago) i came to the realization of why i like skk so much (maybe) and i really need to share my thoughts.

FIRST: the super intelligent character and the martial artist

both shinichi and dazai are characters that are incredibly smart and chuuya with ran are recognized because of their fight abilities.

but let's not forget that ran and chuuya both are smart as well, they can definitely solve things on their own when they need to, but are often mischaracterized as dumb

SECOND: love at first sight vs. hate at first sight (i'm crying)

THIRD: the one that goes away

extra: womanizer guy

extra hc: just like shinichi fell in love first sight and ran noticed she was in love with him in the ny trip, i hc skk with dazai falling in love first and chuuya realising his feelings when dazai defects lol

SHOSHIMIN anime REVIEW

Kobato and Osanai start their high school lifes with the goal of becoming "ordinary", while getting away from their pasts. But the duo time and time again ends up putting themselves in the middle of mysterys to resolve.

For starters I want to say I love this anime. It wasn't in my watchlist this season, but after I saw gifs of the first episode I got curious with how pretty it looked. So I watched it. And it enchanted me.

I have to admit that I love mysterys and slice of life, so after ep1 i thought this series was just that (specially if one makes expectations with hyouka), but I was actually surprised with the twist of the overall cases being a lot more complex and serious.

I still found it refreshing tho, not all mysterys have to be murderers, they can be simple like doing cocoa or finding a poshette; it touches something i was craving and it makes reality, the common moments in our lifes, a lot more interesting.

(I want to make this post more about the anime as an adaptation and make my thoughts on the story another one, where i talk about the novels,,, so i'll leave that there).

The anime in itself is just so good, is stunning; the animation, art, character design, backgrounds, music and sound, the voice actors, direction; everything works so well together and creates a feast not only for the eye.

Even if there are moments i wish would have made it to the anime, is obvious it won't be a 1:1 adaptation and tbh they aren't a big deal for the entire picture. Also, I have to point out that how it translastes the novels to such a different media is a bit fascinating.

Kobato is the one that narrates the novels and even if they could have used that in the anime anyways, i like that they didn't. Kobato's sarcastic comments or how his thought process goes is lost, but it doesn't change him as a character. We are shown the mask he is trying to create for himself, but fails to mantain. That mask that everyone around him sees.

Specially if we take in consideration how kobato is an unreliable narrator, so in the anime we have this chance to see what he really wants us to see of himself, but we can also see the things he hides.

Also, without him narrating the animators and team are able to create the myteryous atmosphere that is around the characters and specially in the relationship between Osanai and Kobato. that have such a unique dinamic.

I like that they don't give us the answers to the characters with just words, but showing. and if we take into account the type of media an anime is, I find this the right choice.

BUT, i do regret that some moments where lost, like kobato running outside of the school at the end of the spring tart case after osanai doesn't answer, even before kengo finishes talking or the panic attack he has in the elevator being changed to the moment under the bridge. i think taking away this moments belittles how important osanai is for him...

On other point I was curious how they'll adapt the story considering it was modernized and the climax on the first book is bc kobato has an old cellphone, but i think it was fine how they did it.

This is definetly one of my favorites animes, not just this season, but this year. I really recommend it for the mystery fans.

And I'm specially exited to see how they adapt the 3&4 novel and their relationships, can't wait!!!!

I don’t understand how so many Teru fans acknowledge that he was abused and STILL agree with him that all supernaturals are evil, when that belief itself is a product of the abuse he experienced. Teru did not come up with the “there are no good supernaturals” concept on his own, that sentiment has been in the Minamoto clan since Hakubo served them. Abusive households will brainwash you into believing things in order to keep you in line, which we see with Teru in how he’s entirely unable to see nuance in the situation due to his upbringing. That black and white way of thinking has been ingrained in him as a way to mold him into the perfect child soldier

Compare him to Kou, who didn’t endure the same physical abuse that Teru did (physical as in being put in life-threatening situations, Kou was still neglected which is also a form of abuse). He wasn’t expected to be an exorcist and therefore those ideals weren’t pushed on him as heavily as they were Teru. He’s able to look at things more objectively that way, because his feelings on the matter aren’t the product of a trauma response (trauma or any form of mental illness can skew people’s perception of things)

Also keep in mind that Teru contradicts himself at multiple points throughout the series. He lets the mokke live because Tiara likes them, even keeping one as a pet. He allies himself with Akane despite his association with the Clock Keepers. He lets Hanako get away because he doesn’t want to upset Kou. If Teru truly believed that there were NO good supernaturals, he wouldn’t make exceptions. Because that would mean putting his siblings in danger, and we all know that’s the last thing Teru wants to do

To be clear, I’m sure Teru does genuinely think that all supernaturals are evil. It’s a known fact that Teru HATES supernaturals. However, I think he is at least subconsciously aware of his own hypocrisy. That’s why Akane’s betrayal hit him so hard, for once he relied on his own instincts rather than the beliefs his abusers spoon-fed him, and he paid the price for it. But that doesn’t mean he was wrong to trust his gut!! In fact it’s a GOOD thing that Teru was able to make an exception, he made friends that way and seemed to have some impressive character development. Even if he didn’t realize he was doing it, looking past his own beliefs helped him grow so much as a person. He found an escape that way, something he wouldn’t have found if he stuck with what he was taught

Anyways. Most people who give this take don’t gaf abt humanizing the supernatural characters so I wanted to show how it harms Teru as well. By saying “all supernaturals are evil” you are agreeing more with Teru’s abusers than Teru himself

It is 2024 I am once again asking for a tsubasa reservoir chronicle anime remake

(dramatically poses with a hand on my forehead) do you even SEE my vision....

alternate title: The Duality of Soukoku

(The rest is under the readmore!)