Lost // Xavier X Reader

Absence Makes The Heart

Xavier had really done it now.

You were used to him disappearing for hours, for days, sometimes even for weeks, all with no contact. This time, he’d been gone a whole month. And you vowed, if he wasn’t already dead, you’d kill him. Or worse. You’d simply disappear yourself. See how he liked it. 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Xavier couldn’t find you.

At first, he thought you’d simply wandered off again. You had a tendency to be distracted by every street performer you heard, every afternoon market you passed by, every shop display you laid eyes on; any time there was anything that had life, that had shine, you were there, paying your time and attention to it. And he took great pride in being the only person who could find you, each and every time. Maybe you’d posted a picture of your coffee and he’d caught a glimpse of a partial store sign in the background. Maybe you’d mention that you were stuck in abnormally high traffic and he remembered a parade nearby. But either way, rain or shine, he’d find you, like it was always fate’s intention to have you back in his arms. 

But not today.

Today, it’d been three hours, forty-six minutes, and seventeen seconds, and he still could not find you. He was getting desperate. He’d been gone for an entire month and had done nothing but imagine the glow in your eyes or the curve of your smile when you finally welcomed him home. He never imagined that maybe one day he’d come home and you wouldn’t be there. 

He hoped he was just imagining things when he got a notice that your last transaction was a large withdrawal of cash; he prayed that there was still time for you to stumble through the doors, grinning sheepishly, as you admitted you’d caved and bought a farm, or something of the sort. But the clock ticked away, the sun set and rose and then set again, and you still weren’t home. 

He lay on your bed, trying to will you into existence beside him, as he clung to the lingering scent of shampoo in your sheets. He stared up at the ceiling, letting his thoughts consume him, not bothering to get up even to humor his growling stomach. 

Why had he stayed away so long? He couldn’t seem to remember now. There was always something for him to tend to, something that couldn’t wait, something that only he could do, but now, as he lay in your empty apartment, missing your warmth, missing your light, he wondered what it was that could’ve been so important that he couldn’t spare the time to check in and reassure you that he was okay. To reassure him that you were okay. And now he had no idea if you were even alive.

You wouldn’t answer his calls, you wouldn’t answer his texts. He wasn’t even sure you had your phone on you, because he couldn’t track your movements. What were you doing? Where were you going? What were you thinking? Were you mad at him? Of course you were mad at him. You always hated how he had a tendency to take on the world by himself, how he took risks no one else would take and carried burdens no one else would shoulder.

Wherever you were, however far you’d gone, he hoped that you were okay and that you still had room in your heart to forgive him. You were always forgiving him. Forgiving him for taking the last dumpling, forgiving him for oversleeping and missing your breakfast date, forgiving him for hiding his wounds from you. Of course, you gave your forgiveness in exchange for pinky promises of better behavior and bribery, but you’d always forgive him at the end of the day nonetheless. He wondered if you’d still forgive him now. Or if your forgiveness had an expiration date and he was just one month too late. 

When a week passed and you still hadn’t contacted him, he started to lose his mind. He was used to being alone, from going on missions alone, to traveling the soundless, boundless expanse of deep space alone, with his thoughts as his only constant companion. But you were always at the end of that path. You were always where he was trying to go, who he was trying to save. And now he was completely without you. And he had no idea what to do with himself. He swore to himself that if he ever saw you again, he would never leave your side. He would plant himself beside you, breathe when you breathed, walk when you walked, and be no farther from you than your own shadow; it was decided. Now, if only you’d show up. 

Frustrated by his own helplessness, he plopped down onto your couch, nestling himself among your many plushies. He looked at them for a moment, remembering the moment he’d won them all for you. You’d thrown your arms around his neck, beaming brightly, before declaring to everyone in the arcade that “Xavier’s the absolute BEST!” He smiled as he remembered the way he’d carried you in his arms like the bride he’d always intended for you to be, with the plushies sitting all snug on your stomach. Now he lay beside them, feeling a sense of loss. 

“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” He asked a nearby teddy bear. 

He took the bear’s lack of response as a sign to continue. “I see now why she hates when I leave without her. This…this is terrible.”

The bear gazed on in what Xavier could only assume was sympathy.

Xavier sighed. “Do you think she hates me now?” 

The bear remained silent.

Xavier slumped. 

Then his phone beeped and nearly shattered the sound barrier. He’d been moping in silence all week and now that silence had finally been broken. He scrambled for his phone in an instant, almost dropping it in the process.

His screen only displayed one word: No.

He blinked at it. “No? What does that mean? No…you aren’t coming home? No, what?” He murmured to himself as he pondered the mysterious text. 

Another beep. No, I don’t hate you.

His eyes widened. He looked down at the bear. 

“You know something, don’t you?”

Silence. 

Trying to hide his smile, Xavier then flopped back against the cushions, using his arm as a shield over his face before proclaiming, “It’s a shame that I have no way of communicating with Y/N. I was just thinking I’d make her favorite meal for dinner.”

No response. 

Maybe she knew that despite his best intentions, whether it was her favorite or not, whether it was her kitchen or his, all his cooked meals had the same end result. Maybe it wasn’t enticing enough for her.

“I suppose I could just eat these plushies for dinner. There’s no one around to stop me if I just decided to chop them up into pieces and boil them into a stew.” He teased.

His phone beeped. You’re resorting to threats now?

He grinned at the bear, his eyes now finding the nanny camera that had been oh-so-carefully transplanted onto one of its buttons. “So, you coming home now?”

Are you sorry?

His eyes softened. “I am. Very sorry.”

You won’t do it again?

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Well… I’ll do my best next-”

Xav. You won’t do it again. Or the next time I’m gone, it’ll be for much longer than a week.

He gave a resigned sigh before smiling again. “Alright, I won’t do it again. I won’t leave unless I talk with you first and I’ll take you with if I can.” He held his breath as he awaited your response.

The seconds felt like eons and the eons just reminded him of the space between the two of you. He wished he was holding you instead of clinging to your plushies for even a hint of your scent. He didn’t know what he’d do if you didn’t come home soon. If you didn’t answer him. If you didn’t forgive him. 

Fine, good enough. But stay out of my kitchen; you set it on fire last time. I’ll make dinner.

He let out a breath of relief.

You were coming home at long last.

Ko-fi

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☆ Xavier, who is always thinking about you.

Xavier had always carried a quiet thoughtfulness about him, an attentive care that made you feel seen. He loved spending time with you, observing the little things that made you, you. That’s why it didn’t surprise you—though it still made your heart flutter—when he learned your favorite song on guitar. Not only to play it, but to sing it for you.

One day, while the two of you were messing around with the guitar, he positioned himself behind you, his presence close and comforting. The guitar rested in your lap as you strummed the strings, your movements tentative but growing more confident under his guidance.

“All you have to do is follow this count: one... two... three... four,” he explained softly, his voice low and steady. His hand, sure and practiced, expertly switched between the chords, his fingers brushing the frets with ease.

“Yes, just like that,” he said, a smile in his voice, as you repeated the motion. His hands briefly covered yours to adjust your positioning, and your fingers began to catch the pattern.

The first few notes were halting, but as you found the rhythm, a familiar melody began to emerge. Your breath caught when you realized what it was. Your song. A grin spread across your face as the chorus approached.

Then, just as the moment swelled, Xavier leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. His voice was soft but playful as he sang the words:

“You can act all shy, but you know that I want you.”

His whispered lyric sent a shiver down your spine. You paused, the guitar momentarily forgotten as you turned to look at him, caught between laughter and bashful disbelief. Xavier only smiled, his eyes crinkling with amusement, as though he’d been waiting for that exact reaction.

Even if Xavier is my main ...

Sylus's bbd event is so fudging beautiful and pleasing and

Like

Ahhhhhh

Its too good and i was literally staring at this for 5 mins because it was so beautiful and gawd

And whoever made this, hatsoff sir or maam

I DISCOVERED A THING

You can press on the decorations in the Sylus Bday event and you get little commentary!!

The First Meet Self-Aware!Xavier

Sometimes maybe you're just the Juliet to his Romeo. Nothing more than a tragic love story, but what if you could rewrite the stars? pt. 1 here A/N: Before you fight me just read okay? Kisses 💋

Self-Aware!Xavier who's been blinding you with your screen brightness lately “Since when can you do that?” “I was testing the limits of my evol recently and figured it out cool right?” “Yes very cool but please stop blinding me it hurts”

It only took asking once for Xavier to stop adjusting your screen brightness. However he has been acting strange. It feels like he's hiding something; not necessarily something he can't tell you about more like something doesn't want to tell you about. Checking the app turned into a more frequent occurrence when he started disappearing constantly. You would often open the app to find the home screen cafe empty.

“Xavier!” the screen flashes and you see him appear with that same soft smile directed right at you “I’m here what do you need?” you stared at him unsure if you should accuse him of anything due to his strange actions lately. You didn't want to argue with him so you pushed your feelings down and sighed “Nothing just wondered where you went”

“I’m right here I'll always be here” He moved closer to the screen to get a better look at your eyes. “Is that all you were wondering?” You couldn't help, but sigh heavily as your curiosity got the best of you. “What have you been doing lately?” Stupid. Stupid. You mentally kicked yourself as the words rolled off your tongue before you could stop them. Why are you so jealous that he might be with in-game MC? It’s not like you can actually be with him. “Like I told you before I've been testing my evol” it still felt like he was hiding something under that soft gaze of his. You narrowed your eyes at hime “Xav if you want to spend more time with MC you don’t need to hide it from me” you could feel that terrible lump forming in your throat as reality set in that no matter how much you loved him; he’s not yours and never will be. Before he could answer you shook your head willing your tears to stay at bay “I have to go I'll be back later” you closed the app right as his mouth opened to say something.

You stopped opening the app after that. You thought that maybe if you stayed away long enough things would go back to normal and he wouldn’t be able to talk to you anymore. How do you grieve someone who doesn’t exist?

1 week later....

Since that conversation you’re not sure if you’ve become more sensitive to light or if you just happen to keep getting glares in your eyes because you’re just unlucky enough to be right where one can shine right in your eyes. You kept the lights in your house low or even just off to keep the light from blinding you. These constant blinding flashes of light were killing your head so you started wearing sunglasses everywhere and even using the walls to be your guide around your place because it was easier to just walk around in the dark.

Tonight was different though as you made your way to your bedroom your head was fuzzy along with your vision “I need to go to the eye doctor my vision may be getting worse” staggering to your bed you fell face first onto your bed and passed out. Your body felt weightless as if you were floating on a cloud. Your eyes fluttered open to see an expanse of stars and milky ways as far as the eye can see. “Y/N”

There was a voice, but it sounded as if it was underwater. “Y/N?” Words failed you as you tried to answer “I'm…. tired…..” you words were slurred and your eyelids were heavy. “Let’s go home together” the voice was much clearer now. “Xav….ier?” succumbing to the drowsiness that had you in a vice grip, your head fell back as everything went dark.

You jolted awake only to immediately be blinded by the sun shining in through the window. “At least it didn't give me a headache this time” You mumbled to yourself as you yawned into a big stretch. Your vision was clear again a stark contrast from what you fell asleep with. You started to take in your surroundings taking note that this wasn’t your room “Am I lucid dreaming?”

“The sun is too bright turn it off” a groggy voice whined next to you. Without thinking you kicked your leg out connecting directly with the strangers crotch who audibly groaned in pain. You sprinted out of the room only to realize you had no clue where you were. Rustling could be heard from the bedroom so there was no time to waste as long as you made it out of here as quick as possible. Freedom was within reach as you came up on the front door or at least you hoped it was the front door; only to be grabbed by your forearm and yanked back.

“I will scream bloody murder!” You yelled as you fought against this persons iron grip. “It’s me! Y/N it’s me open your eyes” not even realizing you were already screaming bloody murder with your eyes closed ; you opened them to see those deep blue eyes you’d dreamt about. “Xavier? Am I hallucinating?” You pulled your arm again and Xavier let go this time. You rapidly scanned the room and noticed this place looked exactly how it did in the game “There’s no way i’m standing in your apartment right now” You pinched the back of your hand and winced in pain.

Xavier rubbed the back of his neck as he nodded “Welcome to my home” you circled him skeptically eyeing him up and down. “Explain yourself”

“I was testing if I could manipulate the light in your world and it turned out that I could” That’s when it hit you that it was Xavier who’d been blinding you with light. You weren’t sure if you were pissed or flattered that he was trying to get your attention while you were ignoring him. No he literally made your life a living hell with that of course you were pissed. You took deep breaths as you tried to gather your thoughts. “So it was you that kept blinding me Xavier that gave me such insane headaches why would you do that?” You threw your arms up in exasperation as you began to pace. “I wanted your attention and you wouldn’t talk to me” He approached you with careful steps as you backed up at the same time. All those repressed feelings you had for the last week quickly surfaced just from looking at him. His face became blurry as your eyes filled with tears; just as you went to turn away you bumped into the kitchen counter. You stumbled to a stop as Xavier trapped you between himself and the counter. “Why did you leave me?” His lips pressed together in a thin line and you could tell he was trying to keep himself calm as well.

“Because we can’t be together Xav….” Your voice cut off as you choked up trying to keep your tears from falling. “Why not I'm right here” he had a point, but you don’t belong here; this isn’t your home and Xavier already has someone he was literally made to be with. “I can’t stay here Xav I can’t come between you and-” You yelped as he lifted you onto the counter and slotted himself between your soft thighs that were still bare from going to bed in a large t-shirt and spandex shorts. “I cut through time, space and reality to have you in front of me” His hands lingered on your thighs softly drawing circles with his thumbs. "Do you truly believe I want anyone other than you?" You went slack-jawed at his confession of how he managed to bring you here “You what?”

He dropped his head and exhaled a raspy chuckle, but there was no amusement in it “I was so lost when you stopped coming to see me I thought I was losing my mind” This man really did the impossible to get to you; there’s no way you could ever tell a single soul about this or you’ll be thrown head first into a mental asylum. The feeling of Xavier’s hand on your cheek pulled you from your spiraling thoughts. He gently wiped away a stray tear that you hadn’t even realized escaped. “You’re breathtaking in person” The blue in his irises was damn near non-existent as he studied your face almost as if he was trying to permanently burn the image into his mind. His stare was so intense it was like he couldn’t take his eyes off of you or you’d disappear.

You softly pushed his shoulder you try and get some distance because it felt like you couldn’t breathe with him this close. “Xavier please….” Your voice trailed off into nothing, but a breathy whisper. You didn’t know what you were asking him for; words seemed to be escaping you. His fingers wrapped around your wrist and held it next to your head as he leaned in closer. Your lips parted as your breath became heavy and his gaze immediately dropped to your lips. “Please what?”

Fuck it.

You wriggled your wrist free and grabbed him by the back of his neck slamming your lips onto his. Xavier wasted no time kissing you back, his arms wrapping about your waist pulling you tight against his toned body. Xavier kissed you like a man starved the way he parted your lips to allow his tongue in along with the quick nips and sucks to your bottom lip your mind was going fuzzy as you fell into him with reckless abandon. You drew back gasping for air and Xavier chased your lips pulling you back into a heated makeout session. Before you fell back under his spell you broke away and pressed your fingertips to his lips when he tried to chase you again. His breath was ragged and you could see his rapid pulse fluttering on his neck. Seeing him completely flushed with red cheeks and hot ears gave you butterflies “We should slow down we just met” You teased with a giggle. Xavier rolled his eyes and kissed your nose as he took a step back. You didn’t miss how he quickly adjusted his pants tucking himself into his waistband. “I’m sure you have many questions go ahead I'll answer all of them truthfully”

Love Beyond the Surface

Part 1 !

Tag: Xavier x f!reader, Zayne x f!reader Warning: reader is not MC, angst, no comfort (yet), parallel universe(isekai), third-person

"You're in love with someone who is not me." "How can you be so sure?" "Cause I'm nothing like her" "It's not the looks or personality that I'm in love with. It's the soul"

You know them, but they don't know you. Still, no barrier you erect can conceal the truth of their discovery.

Part 2! [Rafayel, Sylus] x reader

✦.────────── ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ────────── .✦

You truly love the game, you really do. The atmosphere, the intricate details, the beautiful lighting that sets the perfect mood, and the voice lines that bring each character to life. It all comes together so beautifully.

The protagonist of the game is strong, smart, and undeniably beautiful, exactly like what you would expect in a game like this. And she’s nothing like you. Or rather, you're nothing like her. There are moments when you can’t help but feel a twinge of envy, but other times, you just push it aside and enjoy the ride.

But now, as you look at her across the street with your own eyes now, you're sure that you are definitely not her. You let out a quiet sigh, turning away and heading back to your temporary resting spot in this world. The weight of the different life is heavy in your thoughts. You need to find a way to get back.

✦.────────── ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ────────── .✦

🐇 XAVIER:

"No matter how many times it takes, no matter where you are… I will find you."

The street is as busy as ever, people moving past in a blur. He can't wait to get home after his mission and take a nap. Somehow, he catches a glimpse of someone and instinctively reaches out. 

The sharp honking of a car pulls him out of his thoughts, and his gaze snaps back to her, the stranger he had grabbed. For a brief moment, he's taken aback, confusion crossing his face as he processes the fact that she isn't the person he had mistaken her for.

Xavier exhales sharply, trying to steady himself. "Apologies." He says, his voice rough and edged with frustration. "I thought you were someone else."

"…It's okay…" The girl says softly.

Xavier nods silently, still feeling a deep sense of guilt and regret. He can't help but still notice the similarities. He looks at her for a moment longer before breaking the silence.

"It's just..." He pauses, choosing his words carefully. "You really do look like...this person I know." 

She looked at him warily, as if caught off guard, her tone flat but with a slight edge. "How so?"

Xavier scratches the back of his head, his eyes roaming her face once again, as if trying to pinpoint the similarities. He catches himself, realizing how that might sound. "You're just…similar."

"…Whoever you’re looking for." She says, her voice flat, as she steps closer to him. "I'm afraid I'm not them. You must have mistaken." She adds, her words clear, as if she is offering him a quiet but undeniable truth.

Noticing that he didn’t respond, she huffed, a mix of frustration and resignation settling in,  feeling like the conversation had reached its end. With no more words to say, she turned and started to walk away.

In a moment, panic sweeps over Xavier, a feeling that he's about to lose something important. His body reacts before his mind can catch up. His hand shoots out, grabbing her wrist gently but firmly, pulling her back.

"Wait." His voice is a little hoarse, a mix of urgency and uncertainty. His grip is firm, but not forceful.

Xavier watches her intently, his gaze never leaving her face as he studies her features. There's a comforting presence that he responds to in her demeanor.

"I...I was just wondering..." He starts, his voice faltering for a moment. "What food do you like?"

"Pardon?"

Xavier's cheeks redden slightly, realizing how odd the question must sound. He rubs the back of his head, trying to play off his curiosity.

"I just... I was just curious." He says, his voice a mixture of embarrassment and honesty.

"…Why? You're going to take me out for dinner or something?" She let out a small laugh, but it quickly fades when she notices he doesn’t laugh back.

Xavier's heart skips a beat at her laugh, a genuine smile almost forming on his lips. He'd be lying if he said the idea didn't sound appealing.

"I just thought it would be nice to know more about you." He finally manages to say it, his voice betraying a hint of vulnerability.

"... You do realize we just met, right?" She asked, tilting her head slightly as she studied him.

Xavier nods, unable to tear his gaze away from her. His heart rate is still quickened, the mixture of shame, curiosity, and newfound attraction swirling within him.

"Yes." He says, his voice soft and genuine. "That's why I want to know more about you..." He cleared his throat, attempting to regain his usual cool demeanor. 

She couldn't help but notice the way his eyes softened, almost pleading, as if silently hoping she would say yes. The vulnerability in his gaze was impossible to ignore. She wasn’t sure if it was his sincerity or the weight of the moment.

"I'm sorry... It's just that I'm a bit busy at the moment." She said, her voice soft but firm.

Xavier's heart sinks, a mix of disappointment and understanding washing over him. He had been caught up in the moment, the closeness, the connection he felt.

He nods slightly, a small sigh escaping his lips. "Right. Of course."

He steps back, putting a little more distance between them, and averts his gaze

She nods, offering a soft, half-hearted smile. "I hope you find the person you're… looking for… Have a nice day."

The words hang in the air for a moment, a gentle attempt at parting that feels heavier than intended.

Xavier's gaze lifts, his eyes meeting hers for a final moment. The disappointment is still there, but he manages to force a smile onto his face, even if it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Yeah." He replies, his voice a little hoarse. "You too."

He watches she walks away, the space between you two stretching further with each step. Each footfall feels like a silent reminder of what’s slipping out of reach.

"I will find you." "I don't want to be founded."

✦.────────── ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ────────── .✦

🦭 ZAYNE:

"When you and the world wake up, I hope we do not met again"

Zayne was beyond exhausted. The hospital was packed with patients. He had been on his feet all day, working tirelessly to treat and care for everyone who came through the doors.

So he changed his course after work, heading for a nearby coffee shop. He noticed he was the only customer left, likely due to the late hour or approaching closing time. 

The sound of ringing fills the air as the door opens. A person steps in behind him, moving to the counter to place an order.

"Hi, can I get a…?"

The person's soft, clear voice pierced Zayne's ears as he heard them place her drink order. He blurted out the name of the drink before he could stop himself. 

The person tensed, quickly turning to face him, her eyes widening in surprise as if she recognized him.

Zayne quickly averted his gaze, pretending to be completely engrossed in looking at the decorations.

She stared at him briefly before returning to her order, speaking quickly. "Yeah and I would like a dessert with it too... "

"It seems we're out of dessert for tonight, he’s already taken the last one." The attendant said with a regretful tone.

"Oh." Her voice tinged with disappointment

With a hint of hesitation, he spoke up. "If you’d like, I can give it to you." 

"That …won’t be necessary. You come first, after all." She stammered, offered a polite smile

Zayne shook his head slowly. "No, it's really alright." He said, his voice calm and reassuring. "I can go without it for tonight." He paused, his eyes meeting hers for a brief moment.

Zayne was caught off guard by his own actions. Why on earth was he offering his dessert to a complete stranger? Was it just an impulsive gesture, or was there something else driving him?

After a brief pause, he discreetly looked her up and down, his expression thoughtful. "Have we met before?"

She widened her eyes in surprise, then offered a sad smile. "I don't believe we did."

Odd… Zayne thought, his suspicion not quite quelled. He couldn't quite put his finger on what was so familiar about her. She didn't look like anyone he knew, and yet he was convinced he had seen her somewhere before. Regardless of it, he strangely feels a sense of contentment when he sees her.

She glanced at him briefly, uneasy under his gaze. "You... just got off work?" She asked, hoping to shift the focus.

"Yeah, the hospital nearby." Zayne replied casually, his gaze still fixed on her. 

His suspicions were not eased, no matter how hard he tried to suppress them. There was just something so oddly familiar about her, as if he had seen her before somewhere, in some other place in time. He couldn't quite place it, and it was driving him crazy.

She nodded slightly, her gaze flickering briefly. "You work quite... late."

"It's a part of the job." Zayne replied with a shrug, his expression remained neutral.

She smiled nervously, each question she asked only deepening the awkwardness. Feeling the tension grow, she fell silent, unsure of what to say next, hoping the quiet would ease things.

Zayne found himself wondering if she visited the coffee shop frequently. The location was slightly out of the way and secluded, which made him question if she came here often.

"Do you come here often?" He asked suddenly, breaking the silence between them. "There aren't many places open this late."

"Not... really." She replied, a slight shrug lifting her shoulders. "I just discovered it a few days ago…"

Zayne nodded slowly, his eyes narrowing slightly. He couldn't shake off the feeling of worry growing inside him. Here she was, a lone girl in a quiet area so late at night.

"You know, you really shouldn't be walking around alone... especially at this hour." Zayne found himself saying without thinking, his concern finally getting the better of him.

She narrowed her eyes slightly, a defensive edge creeping into her tone. "I can handle myself." She said, her words sharp but quiet.

The waiter approached and handed Zayne his drink first, breaking the conversation for a moment. He gave a small nod of thanks.

Zayne glanced at his watch, realizing just how late it had gotten. He took one sip of his drink, holding up the cup before turning back to her.

"I better get going. Got an early day tomorrow." 

The words slipped out almost instinctively, as if he felt the need to let her know, even though there was no real reason to. His gaze lingered for a moment, unsure if he should say anything more.

She didn’t answer or glance at him, keeping her gaze fixed ahead. A sense of disappointment washed over him, he must have offended her. Without a word, he turned and walked out, silently hoping their paths would cross again.

"I hope we do not meet again." "So do i."

✦.────────── ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ────────── .✦ Picture: belong to Love & Deepspace official (not me) ✦.────────── ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ────────── .✦

I know it sound deludelu but i just need some angst in my life a bit. I'll post the rest later. Also no hate to the MC. Her character is well-built, and i love her personality.

Cosy Mornings // Multi x Reader

Hey guys! I come bringing tooth-rotting fluff. In this there's only Xavier and Raf (Separately) as I work on the other guys' fics, which will be in part 2 of this :)) Concept: A cosy morning with your boyfriend. Tags: Fluff, very fluffy, fem reader Word Count: 1060 in total Masterlist

Xavier

Music plays softly in the background as you sway to the beat. The sweet smell of pancakes permeates the air around you, the morning sunlight beaming through the open windows, the breeze cool on your skin. You flip the pancake in the pan before moving to prepare the fruit ready to top off your breakfast. Xavier’s hoodie hangs off of you like a dress, keeping you cozy in the morning daze, your hair still a mess, sticking up in odd places. 

It’s the most beautiful sight he has ever seen. He wouldn’t mind waking up early every day if it meant he could see you like this, in his apartment, in his clothes, swaying to music, a carefree atmosphere surrounding you. His blue eyes, still hazy from sleep, track your movements as you move around his kitchen, the sunlight illuminating your figure. He leaned against the doorway, giving himself time to admire you.

You were ethereal, a goddess walking the earth. You chose him, again and again, in this life and in the past ones. He was the luckiest person in the world to have you by his side, he never doubted that. A gentle smile was etched into his face as he pushed off from the wall until his arms wrapped around your waist, his face pressed into your neck. 

“Good morning love.” You smile sweetly, your voice was quiet in a way that added to the cozy atmosphere. His lips pulled into a full smile as he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of your neck.

“Good morning honey.” His voice was muffled, but the contentment that echoed through it was clear as day. 

“Breakfast is nearly done, could you set the table?” He grumbled slightly about having to part from you, but the complaint was quickly chased away with a soft kiss to his lips. He did as you asked, making coffee and setting up the cutlery, before turning the music up on your phone. 

You look at him curiously, turning the stove off once the last pancake landed on the stack.

He reached out his hand, grasping yours and pulling you into his embrace, swaying to the lyrics of the song. You giggled, wrapping your own arms around his neck as his snaked around your waist. 

“The pancakes are gonna go cold.” You whisper, not willing to break the serene atmosphere that settled around the two of you. A grin spread across your lips, heart skipping a beat. Instead of a reply, you’re greeted with a slow gentle kiss, his arms tightening around you. You sigh into the kiss, unhurried, content with just holding each other as you move to the music. Pulling away, you gaze into his eyes, deep blue and filled with admiration, overflowing with the love he held for you. 

Rafayel

The sky was still dark when you arrived on the beach, the waves crashing on the shore. You jogged ahead, pulling him along with you. The breeze hit you, chilly in the morning hour, fresh with the smell of the wide ocean in front of you. You take a moment to breathe, to take it all in, before turning to Rafayel, a wide grin already spread across your face. His smile is amused, an eyebrow arcing.

“Where’s all this energy coming from, Cutie?” He chuckled, letting himself be pulled along the sand until the two of you stood by where the waves greeted the land. 

“Well, I’ve been wanting to see the sunrise with you for a while. This is the first time we’ve managed to get up on time, let me be excited about this!” You laugh, pressing yourself closer to his side, resting your cheek on his shoulder as you look up at him. You get a chuckle back in response, as he presses a kiss to your hairline before taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Besides, you’ve been looking for inspiration right? Maybe this beautiful sunrise will help with that.” You say as you turn to look to the horizon, any minute now the sun will come up and will paint the sky into a stunning array of colours. 

You adjust your scarf before taking a sip of your own coffee, letting the warmth spread through you, nuzzling closer to Rafayel. His arm rests across you back, the hand on your hip holding you close as a comfortable silence fills the air between you. 

Within minutes, the first pinks and oranges spread across the sky, a breath getting stuck in your throat in awe. The sun rays finally peak across the ocean, showering the two of you in a golden light.

Rafayel’s eyes drop to you, as you admire the scenery. The view he’s more interested in is you, how the hue of the light brightens your face, how your eyes are full of joy, the small smile on your rosy lips. You are glowing, a blissful sort of comfort settles inside of him as he studies you. 

You were here, with him. By his side. He had found you again, his beloved bride, his most devout follower, the person who held his heart. After so many tragedies in the past, he finally had his happy ending, the love of his life by his side. His sunset coloured eyes don’t leave your face for a second, even as you turn to look at him. 

Oh. He has found his new favourite colour. Your eyes met his, shining with pure glee, before softening at the sight of him, a smile permanently planted on your lips. He must be making some sort of funny expression as all he receives is a soft laugh from you, before a gentle kiss is planted on his lips. Your soft lips glide across his for a moment, before you pull away, a hand coming to cradle his cheek.

“The view is over there, Love.” You say, a teasing tone in your voice. He huffed a laugh.

“I prefer the view over here.” He replies, a smirk appearing on his face, before his lips meet yours once again, his arm pulling you closer. The kiss was gentle, content. You bring your arms around his neck, pulling away to meet his eyes. His gaze was filled with mirth, full of love and joy and admiration. In that moment, he had found the inspiration he’s been searching for.

🤡

Xavier hands her a spaghetti plate, only with ice cream "noodles" and raspberry "marinara" and cake pop "meatballs" and small white vanilla sprinkles for "parmesan"

See? I told you I'd make dinner.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄 ⋯ 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄

𝐗𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑

You drag yourself through the door, muscles aching from the day’s mission. Tracking Wanderers had drained every ounce of your energy.

“Welcome back,” Xavier says, his voice even as he glances up from his seat. His eyes linger on your exhausted posture.

“I just need...” you start, but don’t finish the sentence.

Xavier nods once. “I understand.”

Without another word, he rises and disappears into your bedroom. Curious, you follow after a moment to find him arranging pillows against the headboard and smoothing fresh sheets over the mattress. He’s placed a glass of water on the nightstand.

“You had a difficult mission today,” he states rather than asks. “Rest will help.”

You feel a wave of gratitude as he steps back from the freshly made bed. It’s exactly what you need—no questions, no demands for conversation.

“Thank you,” you murmur.

The corners of Xavier’s lips lift slightly. “I’ll be in the next room if you need anything.”

As he turns to leave, his hand briefly touches yours—a fleeting warmth that speaks volumes more than words could. The door closes quietly behind him.

You sink into the bed, appreciating how he knew exactly what you needed without you having to explain. Outside, you hear the soft sounds of him moving around, close enough to be reassuring but giving you the space to decompress.

Just before you drift off, your phone beeps once—a message from Xavier: 

Sleep well. I’ll be here when U wake up.

Simple, direct, but somehow exactly the comfort you needed.

𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄

You return to the Hunter’s Association HQ to report your mission. As you close the door, you finally muffle the chaos you’ve left behind. You text Zayne that you need space tonight—just a simple message before pocketing your phone.

When you arrive home hours later, you find the lights dimmed and a note on the counter: “Food in the fridge. Vitamins beside your plate. Take care of yourself.”

You open the refrigerator to find your favorite takeout neatly packaged beside a similar container labeled “Zayne” in his handwriting. A small smile forms despite your exhaustion.

After heating your meal, you sit at the kitchen island, grateful for the silence. The room door opens, and Zayne emerges, apparently just finished with his shower. His eyes meet yours briefly as he nods in acknowledgment.

“Rough day?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

He doesn’t press further, instead moving to heat his own meal. The silence between you isn’t uncomfortable—it’s understanding.

Zayne places two capsules beside your plate. “B-complex and magnesium. You’re probably depleted from today.”

You take them without comment.

He sits across from you, both of you eating in a comfortable quiet. When your phone lights up with notifications, he reaches over and turns it face-down without asking.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“Hmm,” he hums.

After dinner, he collects both plates. “I’ll be in the office if you need me. No obligation to talk.”

Later, you pass by the home office to find him reading, glasses perched on his nose. He doesn’t look up, giving you the space you requested, but the door remains purposefully open—an invitation without pressure.

When you finally decide to sleep, you find a cup of herbal tea on your nightstand, still warm.

𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋

You close your apartment door, leaning against it with a sigh of relief. The text to Rafayel had been simple:

Need some alone time today. Nothing personal.

You switch your phone to silent and place it screen-down on the coffee table, determined to enjoy the quiet. Twenty minutes into your peace, the phone screen lights up repeatedly. Despite your resolve, curiosity wins, and you peek.

Flood of messages from Rafayel:

just found the most beautiful pearl today! [photo attached] not as beautiful as you though  do you think it belonged to a giant clam the ocean was perfect btw not rushing you but when you feel better we should go pearl hunting miss your face already cutie no pressure just know i’m thinking of you [photo of a ridiculous sand sculpture that looks vaguely like you] made special sand art for my miss bodyguard hope you’re feeling better take all the time you need but don’t forget come back to me  i love you cutieee

You can’t help but smile at his stream of consciousness updates. He’s respecting your space physically while still sharing his day with you.

Hours later, your doorbell rings once. When you check, there’s no one there—just a small package wrapped in colorful paper. Inside is a beautiful pearl, cleaned and polished, with a note:

For your collection of memories. Take all the time you need, and keep this little piece of the ocean with you. - Rafayel

The gesture is so like him—giving you space while still finding a way to connect. You place the pearl on your windowsill where the setting sun catches its iridescent surface, creating tiny rainbows across the wall.

𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐒

You text Sylus that you need some alone time because you know how much he values communication between you two.

Take the time you need. Just keep me updated.

You sink into your couch with a sigh of relief, grateful for the quiet. A few hours later, your doorbell rings. The building attendant calls up: “Delivery for you that needs a signature.”

Inside the sleek black box is a soft blanket, a small air purifier, and some fancy tea with a handwritten note: ‘For your comfort. This should help you breathe easier. Let me know if it helps.’

You smile at the gesture and send him a quick message:

Got the package. Thank you.

His response appears almost instantly:

Good. how are you feeling?

You appreciate that he checks in without demanding your time or attention.

Better. Just needed some quiet.

Understood. dinner will arrive at 7.

True to his word, your favorite meal shows up, from a restaurant you mentioned once weeks ago. The note this time simply says, ‘Eat well.’

Before bed, you message him again:

Thanks for understanding today.

He replies quickly:

Your well-being matters to me. Now rest well. I’ll see you when you’re ready.

The message captures exactly what you appreciate about him—he doesn’t mind giving you space as long as the lines of communication stay open. It’s his way of showing he cares while still respecting your boundaries.

In the morning, when you finally feel recharged, you find another small gift outside your door—a sleek new communicator with a note: ‘This one has better reception. So we never lose touch, even when apart.’

𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐁

The door to your shared apartment closes behind you with a soft click. You’d texted Caleb earlier:

Not feeling too well. Need space tonight.

His reply had been immediate:

take all you need. I’m here.

True to his word, he’s nowhere to be seen when you enter, though evidence of his presence remains—your favorite comfort foods in the fridge, a freshly made bed, and your laundry neatly folded.

You curl up on the couch, wrapped in silence. Hours pass as you decompress, your mind slowly unwinding.

At 7 PM, a gentle knock at your door. “Hey,” Caleb’s voice, soft through the wood. “Dinner’s outside if you’re hungry. No need to talk.”

When you open the door, he’s already retreated to the other room. A covered tray sits on the floor—your favorite meal still steaming.

Later, as you’re about to tackle the dishes, you discover they’ve already been done. The kitchen is spotless.

Around midnight, you hear the front door open—Caleb returning from a late Fleet meeting. His footsteps pause outside your door before continuing to his guest room. He’s giving you the space in the bedroom reserved for you without being asked.

In the morning, you wake to find your uniform pressed and ready, your boots polished, and a travel mug of your preferred morning drink waiting. A note leans against it:

Hope you slept well. I had to head in early. Take your time today. I already called your Captain to clear your morning schedule. - Caleb

Through the window, you catch sight of him in the distance, his Colonel’s uniform crisp as he strides toward Fleet Headquarters. He glances back once, spots you in the window, and gives a simple nod before continuing on his way.

Based on this request.

I legit had to open the game and check the chats just to see how they typed, lol, so I tried to match the format as closely as possible.

A Very Good Day🍃

Prompt : In a cozy mountain chalet, you and Xavier escapes the chaos of everyday life, enjoying lazy mornings and homemade breakfasts. Genre: Fluff Warnings: slight suggestive content Words count : 1506

The small things you notice when you wake up is the gentle warmth of the sun warming the white sheets, the sweet breeze slipping into the room through the French window making the curtains fly before settling into the crook of your neck, and the comforting smell of breakfast in the making.

It’s mainly this smell that pushes you to get out of this cozy bed, your appetite being stronger than your need for relaxation. You escape the covers, taking a moment to stretch before leaving the bedroom.

It was going to be a very good day; you were sure of it.

Your bare feet caress the wooden floor of the chalet you rented in the mountains at three hours from Linkon City, you were told it was the best spot to stargaze at this time of year. You wanted to spend time with your boyfriend without having to think about all the responsibilities you had back in Linkon, the last year had been hectic enough. Well, no use thinking about it for now, let's get back to your boyfriend.

As you step into the room, the smell you were following since you were awake washed over you, but now you could distinguish it more subtly, it was a mix of bread toasting, the smell of red beans and scrambled eggs. There was some jazz playing in the background, and you could also feel the heat of the sun reverberating through the windows of the living room, the kitchen of the rental being open, it opened directly onto this room with a cozy atmosphere.

Your eyes finally paused on the back of Xavier, and what a back, he was wearing a plain white t-shirt clinging to his skin in some place, probably because of the steam who had gradually settled in the room. Your eyes travelled down his body, his soft hair, his strong arms, those little shorts that highlighted his legs... and not only his legs. You approached him discreetly, before sneaking your arms around his back, nestling your face against him, smelling the perfume you bought him for the new year. His body tensed up a little before letting out a soft, husky laugh as he took one of your hands to kiss it. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead” he whispered before letting go of your hand.

“You’re the sleepyhead in the relationship” you teased, squeezing him a bit tighter. It was common knowledge that Xavier slept a lot, but you didn't hold it against him, he was one of the best, if not the best, Deepspace Hunter.

“Maybe but you’re the one waking up after me, so you’re the official sleepyhead today” he responded smiling before going back to his cooking. You stood on tiptoe to look at what he was doing, resting your head on his shoulders to find some balance, he was folding some dough.

"What are you doing?" you asked, trying to reach for the dough but unable to grab it as his body acted like a dam between you and the dough.

“Some Red Bean Buns, with some toasts and scrambled eggs… don’t touch” he said laughing, pushing gently your hand away.

“Please” you purred, pressing a kiss against his neck and sliding a hand under his shirt, caressing his belly and tracing his abs.

He melted against your touch, grabbing back your wrist and holding it against him. “No, you go back to bed, and I handle the breakfast, I promise I won’t burn anything this time.” He turned toward you, moving your hand to his upper back before crouching slightly, sliding his arms around you and kissing your lips softly.

 It was your turn to melt, you closed your eyes, losing yourself in the kiss before you felt a thick texture on the tip of your nose, you opened back your eyes in surprise, looking straight into the mischievous gaze of the culprit.

“What is it?” you asked, pouting before moving one of your hands from under Xavier’s shirt, touching the thing on your nose and looking at the reddish-brown paste on your finger.

“Red bean paste, I told you I was making buns, right?” he replied before licking the tip of your finger. You looked at him like he just killed someone. “Why do you look at me like that?” he smiled, pinching slightly your cheek.

“You just tricked me and then you steal my paste, who am I in love with ?!” you joked, taking a step back dramatically, clutching your imaginary pearls.

“A monster, now go back to bed” he said, rolling his eyes with an exasperated smile.

“I’m going back to bed because I decided to, not because you told me” You said with a face falsely annoyed, leaving the room before coming back a few seconds later, sticking your head out from behind the hallway wall. Xavier tilting his head back to look at you.

“I love you” you grinned before disappearing behind the wall, walking down the hallway you heard him replying to you. “I love you too!” he exclaimed loudly enough to make sure you heard him. Xavier usually had a soft-spoken tone, so as you let yourself fall on the fluffy bed, you can’t stop yourself from kicking your feet and giggling.

Ten minutes had passed since you went back to bed, you were scrolling on your phone while enjoying the sun. You heard the door opened, his back walking before the rest of his body as he walked into the room backward, turning around once the door was closed.

“Good morning, again, Miss” he walked toward the bed, holding the plate carefully, settling down on the cover, making sure not a thing spilled. You looked at the plate more closely, there were some of those delicious buns he was making,a few toasts, some with jam and butter and others with avocado and salmon, the scrambled eggs were in a big egg-shaped bowl.

“Look at this feast! You outdone yourself!” You grab his arm pulling him in bed, next to you, his weight making the glasses of juices almost spilling. “Oops, sorry” you said as he carefully leaned back against the headboard.

“But you didn’t even eat anything yet.” he grabbed one of the buns, splitting it in half and giving you a piece of it, the smell was divine.

“Mmmh, that’s so good!” you moaned as you took a bite, the soft dough and the red beans paste melting against your palate.

“If you continue to make those noises while we eat, I think we will have to postpone breakfast for a few hours.”

You almost choke as you looked back at him, he was innocently tilting his head before starting eating his bun.

“Xavier! You can’t say that while I’m eating!” you laughed, playfully hitting his arm.

“I did breakfast, I have all the right my dear.” He kissed your cheek before reaching for the juice.

You spend the rest of the morning eating those delicious delicacies, while speaking about everything and teasing each other, as always.

It was now the afternoon, a little rain was cooling the weather, the breeze still moving the curtains of the room. You and Xavier held each other close, your head resting on his shoulder, one of your legs wrapped around his, his arm around your shoulders while the other was holding a book. You were helping him, turning the pages when he needed to.

“And done.” He put the book on the bedside table, he had just finished the new book he bought at the library last week.

“So, was it as interesting as you thought?” you asked, hugging him tightly.

“Yeah, it was but I have a more interesting right…” he touched the tip of your nose “here.”

He turned toward you rapidly. You let out a yelp of surprise as he positioned himself in such a way that you ended up beneath him. He didn’t waste a second before trailing a series of soft kisses across your face. When he finally kissed your lips, you pulled him into a more languorous kiss, your legs wrapping around his waist pushing him into you.

His hands found his way under your shirt, while yours ended up on the back of his neck. His warm hands were a contrast with the coldness of your body, making you both shivered.

 You tried to pull back from the kiss to catch your breath, but he trapped you bottom lip between his teeth. “I guess” a kiss “the breakfast” a kiss “was not enough” another kiss “for you because I feel like you trying” an encore kiss “to devour me” you ended up saying breathlessly, a smile on your face.

“What can I say?” He nestled his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m an insatiable man’’ you felt him smirk against your skin as he said that before you felt his hands travel down your body.

It was going to be a very good day; you were sure of it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A/N : it was my first long fic i hope you all enjoyed it ! 💖

I Exist to Nobody (but you.) – Part 1

Summary: You meet your soulmate on a serendipitous afternoon in your grandparents' backyard.

And on all levels except physical, Xavier is a normal boy.

Word Count: 4.2k

Tags: fem!reader x xavier, you x xavier (no use of Y/N), imaginary friend AU, imaginaryfriend!xavier, childhood friends (to lovers, but not in this chapter!), themes of codependency?, lil sprinkle of family issues lol, growing up, time skips as a plot device, again– pretty self-indulgent 

A/N: I understand that AUs aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay! Xavier’s always been a comfort character to me and I wanted to write something different for him, which led to this baby <3 

(art + banners are made by urs truly x)

Part I

You stand a little over three feet, and your hair is in braids. 

You’re wearing your Sunday special; a pretty purple dress with a frilly skirt and your favorite pair of stripe-print leggings. Your sparkly jelly ballerinas have been long since discarded somewhere in the grass as you run barefoot in your grandparents’ backyard. 

You’re playing hopscotch by yourself, with the family Shiba for company. The sky is starting to turn into a pretty orange hue and you hear your mom calling from inside the house when you see something white move from the corner of your eye. 

With all the curiosity befitting a four-year-old, your tiny feet carry you in the direction where you saw it; near the mossy undergrowth, beneath the canopy shade of the old Kousa dogwood tree that stood for more than four generations behind the residential building you’d spent some days hiding in when you didn’t want to go back inside for dinner. 

It’s as safe a spot to you as it is familiar, so it takes you by surprise when you find something unexpected; in the form of a small, pale boy with hair the color of rain clouds in the summer, sitting with his legs up to his chin, looking like one of those little elves in your fairytale books. 

A pair of blue eyes meet yours, alight in childlike wonder.

_____

Xavier doesn’t know how he came to be; just that he’s now present in this plane of existence, in the phantom body of a four-year-old boy, in a place he knows human beings call a back-yard. 

He knows this—just as he knows things on an objective level; like what a house is, what the creature covered in fur is called (a small wolf), or what a human girl looks like. 

What he doesn’t understand is the knee-jerk reaction to hide when his sudden appearance catches your attention, which brings him to his current attempt at concealing himself amidst a thicket; beneath the tree with star-like blooms. 

He doesn’t account for the beating of his heart when your searching gaze lands on him, nor the unfamiliar excitement of being seen feels like. 

“Hi!” You finally exclaim after a few seconds of consideration, squatting down in front of him. Xavier notices that you’re missing a front tooth when you give him a big smile. He also notices how his heartbeat quickens at the sight. “Are you an elf?!” 

“No,” he responds quietly. “I’m human. I think.” 

His voice sounds odd to his ears. 

“Oh,” you say with an undercurrent of disappointment. “Well, that’s okay! I’m human too!”

You say it with such enthusiasm that Xavier’s lips pull up in a hesitant smile.

Bouncing back up to your feet, you pat away the nonexistent dirt from your dress and extend a hand towards him. “D’you wanna play with me? Oh, oh—we can play hide-and-seek! You seek, I hide!” 

You're off to run somewhere before he could answer. He doesn't know what hide-and-seek entails, nor what it means to be amongst the living.

He doesn’t know that many things, but he thinks he’d like to know more about you.  

___

You head inside the house after your mom calls you for a fourth time, her voice straining in (rising) agitation. Towing behind you is your new (best!) friend, who you decide is joining you for dinner.

“This is Xavier!” You point at the boy sitting on the chair you dragged near yours, eyes wide as he takes in the spread on the table in front of him. “I saw him outside and we played hide-and-seek!”

Your mom exchanges a look with your grandmother. She glances at the chair beside you, then at you. 

She sees your wide grin. Resigned, she sighs and smiles indulgently. 

“Hello, Xavier.” 

The boy perks up at that. She could also–?

…No. 

It’s not obvious at first glance. But when he studies the expression of the woman who shares the same nose and chin as his new friend, he notices that her eyes look past him. Not at him. 

Xavier falters upon realizing the… facade. He is aware that his form isn’t as corporeal compared to yours. His skin has a certain translucent quality to it, more obvious under the stark, fluorescent lighting. The manner in which he moves isn’t unlike the minute particles floating in the air; more buoyant, less solid. Less tangible. Less aliv–

You squeal in excitement, and he’s distracted. He watches as you turn in your seat to face him– to look straight into his eyes and tell him—

“I’m your bestest friend now, okay?” 

You say it as a statement; like a promise. And for a second, he feels more present in the world.

So you are. His bestest friend. 

Xavier’s chest feels warm; he likes the sound of that. 

___

“Grandpa, Xavier says your beard looks funny!”

“Huh? Who’zat??” 

_____

You learn the concept of an imaginary friend after introducing Xavier to person number six, who happens to be your preschool teacher. 

You overhear her discussing boring adult stuff with your mom when the latter comes to pick you up after school. You and Xavier are in a corner, playing princess and knight. It’s just the two of you, away from the other kids, since your friends refused to join when you’d asked them if they wanted to play too. 

Or rather— they don’t think it’s fair that you just made someone up to be the knight, and have them play the villains. 

That confused you. You also notice how it made your best friend sad. So in the end, you decided that you don’t need anyone else! Xavier is already the best knight who is now also an evil dragon.

“Honey, don’t you want to play with your other classmates?” Your teacher, Miss Dahlia, asks you as she and your mom amble closer to where you and Xavier are; her tone gentle, yet careful. 

You shake your head, a ‘harrumph!’ leaving your mouth. “They didn’t wanna play villains with us. But ‘sokay, Xavier is an evil knight dragon now.” 

Miss Dahlia smiles the same smile your mother gave you at dinner last night. “Oh, of course, sweetie. But maybe you and… Xavier can find someone else to join you?” 

Your brows furrow, starting to feel irritated about the whole thing. “I told you, they don’t wanna! They said they dun’ wanna have someone made up play the knight!” 

Your mom sighs and the two share a look. 

After a moment of hesitation, your teacher begins to explain how your friends “may not be able to see” Xavier since he’s special and only appears to you. That “It’s good you’re being very independent, sweetie, as long as you don’t let Xavier prevent you from hanging out with your actual friends.”

Because, according to Miss Dahlia, he’s just an imaginary friend. 

You blink, not understanding. Xavier is silent beside you. “Huh?” 

You’re looking at the boy in question, trying to make sense of how the other kids—and apparently, everyone else—can’t see him when he’s sitting right there. You don’t understand, and it’s making you more annoyed. 

So the moment Miss Dahlia finishes talking, you tell her that you’re happy playing with just Xavier, and that you’re gonna continue to play princess and evil knight dragon now, please and thank you. 

___

Back home, you and your imaginary friend lie starfish on the floor of your bedroom. You stay quiet while you count the barely visible water spots on your ceiling, waiting for the other person to speak. 

He doesn’t. 

Feeling fidgety, you break the silence. “They don’t see you.”

“I-I don’t think so.” 

“But I see you.” You stress the word, turning on your left to look at Xavier when you say it. 

“Yes,” He agrees, twisting his head to the right so that he’s facing you too. You try to figure out how he’s feeling about the situation—with all the naivety of a child your age—but his expression doesn’t give much away. 

You’re about to ask him directly when, finally, his lips curve into a small smile. A knot loosens in your chest.

“Don’t worry,” Xavier assures you. “That’s enough for me.” 

_____

You lost another round of hide-and-seek.

“‘S not fair,” you grouse, stomping a foot in frustration. “You always find me so fast!”

“We could always play tag instead,” Xavier offers. 

“As if you don’t win at tag too!” 

_____

It’s another bright, sunny Tuesday and your mom leaves you with her usual instruction to behave well for Mrs Dela Peña, a kind—albeit a little strict—lady in her mid-seventies who lives a block away from your house, and your babysitter since you were in diapers. You’re eight now, and starting to make heads with your multiplication tables, but your mom still thinks you’re a big baby that needs looking after. 

You think you’re old enough to be left alone during your summer break when she has to go to work, but she refuses to leave you by your lonesome no matter how much you insist. 

“I have Xavier with me anyway!” 

Your mom just shakes her head whenever you use that as an argument, not bothering with a response. 

So with the usual pout on your face, you stand at the front door with your arms crossed as you grudgingly bid your mother goodbye. 

“–and don’t forget to eat all your greens later for lunch, okay?” She reminds you one last time before giving you a wet kiss on the forehead. You scrunch your nose as you wipe it off. “Love you, honey. I’ll be home by six.” 

And off she goes. You turn to face Xavier—whose hair is a little longer now, almost past his chin, but with eyes the same shade of marble blue—and complain, “She always treats me like a little kid!” 

“But you are a kid,” he tells you, sounding a little confused by your ire. “And it’s normal for parents to care for their children, no matter how old they are.” 

You grumble, narrowing your eyes at him. “I know, but you’re supposed to be on my side.” 

“I am on your side,” Xavier says, blinking innocently. “I tell you when Mrs Dela Peña isn’t looking so you could hide your broccoli before she sees.” 

He does make for a good lookout. You divert the subject. 

“Okay, whatever. But we’re still on Project: Veggie Throw, right?” You ask him, excitement replacing the crabbiness from a moment ago.

Xavier hums in assent, both him and you sharing the same aversion for all things leafy and (barely) edible, despite the other one’s inability to eat. 

Apparently, just explaining to him the yuckiness of a watercress salad is enough for him to take your side of things. 

Xavier sneaks into the kitchen—quiet as a mouse, as usual—to observe the old woman who’s starting to prepare for lunch. He notes the celery stalks being chopped on a wooden board and makes a sound of disgust.

The little phantom boy waits until the woman finishes the rest of the vegetables to put on a corner before calling out to you:

“The veggies are contained in one spot, agent. Over.” 

Your head pops out to peek from behind the wall that connects to the kitchen. Xavier, who’s now sitting cross-legged on the countertop close to the awning window, waves you towards the sink while Mrs Dela Peña’s busy taking something out of the fridge. 

Trying your best to move swiftly before she could catch you in the act, you zip straight to where the sliced vegetables are, bath towel ready to snatch them away when—

“There’s that tuxedo cat again from yesterday,” Xavier casually comments, peering through the open blinds. “I think he’s brought a friend this time.”

Like second nature, you respond without thinking, “You mean Mr Snuffles?”

“...”

“...”

“Oh, I didn't see you there, sweetie!” Mrs Dela Peña exclaims, eyes crinkling from the smile that graces her face as she sees your frozen form over by the aromatics. “Would you like to help with the cooking? Oh-ho! Be a dear now and soak those mung beans in water, will you?” 

“... Sorry,” Xavier sheepishly offers, then shrinks down from your betrayed look. 

You end up on stir duty. The large pot filled with beans and green produce seems to bubble ominously as you’re forced to listen to the same story about Mrs Dela Peña’s neighbor for the nth time. 

An apologetic Xavier dutifully recites to you the play-by-play on how Mr Snuffles and his racoon friend are rummaging through the trash bins as penance, and you swear to be more conscious of your audience next time you’re speaking to your invisible friend. 

_____

You’re in fourth grade, and exam week is coming up.

You look at the textbooks that are laid neatly on the living room table, untouched. Then at the TV. Maybe you could sneak in one episode before—

“No screen time before you finish studying, dearie!” An older Mrs Dela Peña calls out from the kitchen, apparently having a sixth sense for children and their sneaky ways. “Your mother wants you to complete the set of exercises she’s left for you there before you watch your an-e-mays.” 

Groaning in response, you let your head fall down onto the table with a thunk. “But it’s booooring!”

Xavier hums sympathetically, patting your head with a spectral hand. “I can read beside you. Do you want me to ask you the questions?” 

“I want to watch Killua beat those guys at dodgeball,” you sulk, voice coming out a little muffled against the oakwood surface. “Not memorize dates from, like, a hundred years ago.” 

“Killua isn’t here to help you with The Revolution, I am.” You’re caught off-guard by the shortness in Xavier’s tone, enough to raise your head to stare at your friend curiously. He keeps his gaze fixed on the questionnaire in front of him. 

Wait. That gives you an idea.

“I think I know how you could help me, Xavi,” You say slowly, excitement creeping in your voice. Why haven’t you thought of this before??

The pouting boy tilts his head in confusion. You start explaining what you have in store for him for the next couple of days, and before you even finish your spiel, the pout is gone and Xavier’s nodding along with your plan, seeming to be fully on board. 

The idea that his… nonphysicality could finally be of use to you has him feeling oddly giddy. You, on the other hand, look identical to a cat that ate the canary as you reach for the remote. 

Seems like you’ll be able to watch your second favorite pale-haired boy after all. 

___

You’ve been asked to stay after class, two days before the end of midterms. 

Your history teacher has been on it with your adviser for a while now, in a heated argument about your test results. Well, yours and another student in your class. 

“How is that even possible? He’s sitting three rows behind her!” 

“I don’t know how she did it, but they even got the same answer to the third essay down to the last sentence!” 

You and your partner-in-crime share a look of alarm. Uh-oh.

Any attempts at making you fess up led to nowhere. You keep denying all claims of cheating, and your adviser recalls nothing that could warrant suspicion on the day of your World History exam. 

Without enough conclusive evidence of your dishonesty for them to be able to pin the blame on you and call it a day, their resolution to this ‘conundrum’ is to have you take another test in the faculty office tomorrow after school, under the watchful eyes of two (wary) teachers. 

-

-

-

You let Xavier help you one last time—by relaying to you the answers from the paper tucked between two books on your teacher’s desk—before deciding that it’s probably for the best if you refrain from using your invisible friend for anything that could cause you more trouble in the long run; especially on the remaining days left of midterm week. 

Xavier looks deflated, but agrees. (The pout is back, though.) 

_____

“Where’d you get the name Xavier anyway?”

“It came to me in a dream,” he says cryptically. His face betrays nothing, so you can't figure out whether he’s telling the truth or just messing with you. 

“... Right.”

Xavier hides a smile. 

_____

“Hey, what are they talking about?” You ask Xavier from your perch on top of the staircase. You’ve been eavesdropping on the conversation downstairs for a while now, but you could barely make sense of the words being thrown around except for a couple of bad ones. 

Xavier cocks his head to the side, trying to listen in as well, before deciding to just transport himself closer to the source. 

Your dad, a man that you’ve spent considerably less time with compared to your grandfather (or basically everybody else, for that matter), came to visit today for reasons that aren’t really clear to you. But judging from the hushed whispers and periodic bouts of angry shouting down the living room, it isn’t for anything good. 

Your mom frequently uses the term “deadbeat”, and sometimes when she’s really in a mood, “a good-for-nothing waste of a man” when describing your father. You don’t have much of a relationship with him to feel offended on his behalf so you just nod along and agree when your mom goes off in a tirade.

You wonder sometimes, how things would be if you had a dad. A better one, perhaps. The kind of dad that picks you up after school in an SUV, just like how the dads from your class do for their kids. Or someone that’d take longer “shifts” at work to bring home enough to take care of the family, like how your mom does.

You wonder what it would be like to spend the holidays with another parent – the three of you welcoming New Years at home with a bunch of round fruits and maybe some sparklers, instead of having to sleep early at your grandparents’ house. 

Xavier floats back to your side after a few minutes, face set in a frown. “They’re saying something along the lines of moving somewhere nearer the city and finalizing the papers for the divorce. Your father’s talking about remarrying, as well.” 

It’s relayed to you in monotone, like someone reading off a script—or reciting exactly what they’ve heard sans the curse words—that it takes you a moment to process the information. 

After a beat, the only thing that comes out of you is a small, “oh.”

“Are you… okay?” 

It doesn't take much time for you to shake your head, along with the passing pipe dream you’ve entertained, if only for a few short minutes. 

You stand up from your crouched position near the top banister, leaving your little hiding spot to go back to your room. Xavier follows. 

“It’s fine,” you tell him with a shrug. “Do you wanna read Nightwing with me?” 

He agrees, of course. If he curls up closer to you when you stay up later that night to stare quietly at the glowing stars on your bedroom walls, neither of you brings it up in the morning.

_____

You had a fight with your mother earlier today. Xavier’s with you while you sit quietly on the tire swing behind your house. 

“Would you come with me if I go someplace far away from ‘ere?” 

“How far do you want to go?” 

“I dunno,” you shrug half-heartedly. “It’d be cool if we could go live on a planet of our own, don’cha think?” 

“Just the two of us?”

“Yeah. Somewhere I can just…” You struggle to find the words, but you settle on– “Breathe, I guess.” 

A flock of birds fly eastward. Envy colors you green as you think about the fact that they could call any place home without being tied down to a single location. 

“I’d like that,” Xavier smiles. “Maybe we could, one day. Once mankind improves the means for intergalactic travel.” 

“...Whatever you say, Xavi.” 

_____

It's your twelfth birthday.

You’re sitting at the head of the table surrounded by friends and family as they sing you a happy birthday. In front of you is a sunflower yellow buttercream cake with rainbow sprinkles and two lit candles in the shape of a large ONE and TWO. 

“Happy birthday to you,”

You watch your friends; girls in school that you grew up with since kindergarten, and some boys that you’ve climbed trees with during lunch breaks. Almost all of them have already gone through one or two phases over the course of years you’ve known them, and some you consider your closer friends are even acting a little distant as of late, already outgrowing old interests that you’d once shared. 

Even the general consensus on shows like Adventure Time and Spongebob has changed drastically ever since they all started watching Disney Channel. Flashy cell phones and handheld consoles are traded in place of old Barbie dolls and LeapFrog books; the latter are now kept hidden inside a dusty box underneath the bed, like forgotten relics of a simpler time.

“Happy birthday to youuu,”

They look different now, too. Some shot up in height, others gained a measly few inches. Some ditched the braids in exchange for a shag cut. The cooler kids even started wearing makeup. 

(You think you’d like to try putting on eyeliner if your mom wasn’t so strict.)

“Happy birthday, dear– ouch!” A yelp. “Jeremy, you dumdum, stop moving the cake too much!” 

Your gaze then shifts to your right, almost instinctively, to a space that all your other guests would find empty.

There, always by your side, your best friend remains the same as ever. Not the same in the sense that he looked the way he did when you first saw him eight years ago in your grandparents’ backyard, no. You’re not blind to the changes he’s gone through, in stages similar to your own. 

He’s grown taller, for one; almost as tall as you are now. The chub in his cheeks lost some of its roundness, and his limbs are lankier. His hair went through phases of being short, long, and the awkward in-between. When you had asked a couple years back how he’s able to change the length of it without going to a salon, he simply said he does it “to match yours when you do.” 

All-in-all, his physical appearance passes as a regular twelve-year-old boy, if not for the slight ‘otherworldly’ aspect one could probably… overlook. So ‘the same’ isn’t really how you’d describe him. 

“–happy biiirthday to youuu!” 

Xavier mouths the song along with the people in your life, his gaze trained on you the entire time. You look into the same galaxy-blue that you’ve associated with home, comfort, and just Xavier in every way—and you understand.

Constant. The word you're looking for is constant. 

You blow out your candles, wishing it could last forever. 

_____

“Don’t you think you’re getting a little too old for an imaginary friend, dear?” 

_____

Xavier finds you up the roof one rainy afternoon. You look like you’ve been crying. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, a heavy feeling settling in his stomach from the sight of your red-rimmed eyes. He sidles beside you, close enough that his right side almost merges with your left. 

(He’d like to imagine that you could feel him—as a source of warmth, of comfort to you while you shiver from both the cold and the heavy emotions weighing you down. He wishes he could be more than just a presence.)

“M-mom said that,” you sniff, angrily rubbing away the wetness in your eyes with the back of your hand. “–tha’ when I grow older, you won’t show up anymore.

That—that you’d be gone, ‘cos imaginary friends don’t stay with you when you’re all grown up.” Your bottom lip wobbles by the end of your sentence. 

A dark rain cloud looms overhead, signaling the coming of a storm stronger than the current downpour that’s drenching you to the bone. 

“You won’t leave me, would you, Xavi?” You whisper, turning to gaze at your dearest friend with greedy eyes, committing his form to memory, just in case he– “You won’t disappear on me, right?” 

There’s a crackle of energy in the air; a drop in temperature that causes the fine hairs on the back of your neck to stand on end.

“I don’t want you to ever go away.” 

(Neither does he.)

Something builds up inside Xavier. A desire, a need stronger than the limitations of the circumstance he’s dealt with since the beginning of his existence. It’s as vast and tumultuous as the birth of a star, and equally as brilliant. 

(He wants, he needs, he wishes–)

An answer from the high heavens comes in the form of a lightning strike, illuminating the world in a blinding veil of white for less than a second. The resounding “crack!” feels like a blessing. Like an affirmation from the court of gods listening in on the boy’s plea. 

A boon is granted, born from an ambition so great. And for a moment, Xavier burns brighter than any of the billion pinpricks of light in the night sky. 

-

-

-

On a roof, two children sit facing each other under a raging tempest, threads of fate tying them together in an unbreakable bond. 

Snip.

Something falls into place. 

“Never,” he vows. “I’ll always be with you. Forever.”