Alone With My Thoughts - Blog Posts

~KONKALITOLA, KOPAYI NODI & JOMIDAR BARI~

Shantiniketan Trip:- Day-2

Konkalitola Mondir:-

Beautiful temple. My family didn't give puja because this year my grandmother expired, so "ashuch" . (curse in english I guess, don't know) I was sitting inside the temple area and saw that "Shautali Dance" was performed by the tribal women. I danced with them, clicked photos. I danced so well that they were calling me continuously🤭. I really had fun their. I even did my make up inside the temple area (because Pinush was giving me rush and yes girls take time to get ready). While doing my makeup I felt like the song "Chandi Jaisa Rang Hai Tera". I know I am not even a bit of that song but still I felt. (I am ugly as hell🙂 but still I felt like chandi jaisa rang). Anyways really felt calm and happy while dancing.

Kopayi Nodi:-

Rabindranath Thakur composed a poem "Amader Choto Nodi" which was based on Kopayi Nodi. Its really a "choto nodi, chole aake bake". I have nothing so say something about this nodi because its really beautiful. Speechless I am.

আমাদের ছোটো নদী চলে বাঁকে বাঁকে বৈশাখ মাসে তার হাঁটু জল থাকে। পার হয়ে যায় গোরু, পার হয় গাড়ি, দুই ধার উঁচু তার, ঢালু তার পাড়ি। চিক্ চিক্ করে বালি, কোথা নাই কাদা, একধারে কাশবন ফুলে ফুলে সাদা। কিচিমিচি করে সেথা শালিকের ঝাঁক, রাতে ওঠে থেকে থেকে শেয়ালের হাঁক।

~ রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর

(I have posted a picture of "Bonolota". It is a villa which is named after Bonolota.)

Jomidaar Bari:-

Several shooting took place in this place. Its really huge. Shiv Pujo takes place in this house. I though that the Zee5 webseries "Shwetkali" shooting was done here but I was wrong. Anyways. I even clicked some photos inside the jomidar bari. I felt like I reached heaven, its was vintage and beautiful.

Thats all about day two. Had a lot of fun and gathered a lot of knowledge.

I bet day 3 blog will capture the heart of every reader.

Lemme tag my favorite Bengali's as well as other mutuals

@intellectual6666 @choppedphilosopherharmony @jukti-torko-golpo @piyakebazaar @anarkali-disco-chali @shyam-kariya @aapki-shayara @aapka-shayar @thecaffeinatedresearcher @enigma-the-mysterious

~SHONAJHURI HAAT~

Shantiniketan Trip:- Day-1

As a lover of Rabindranath Thakur, I have always dreamt to give a small visit to Shantiniketan. Dream came true. I am sitting in my hotel room right now and I am typing this in my notepad. Pinush (my pishemoshai/uncle) playing a rabindra sangeet "Bodhu micche rag korona"

It was 6:52 a.m. (i love keeping time records for a stupid reason, suppose we meet a problem and a detective arrives and asks me the time i will be able to give the exact time and help the detective to solve the case faster) when me and my family reached Howrah station. Pinush and family came around 8:15 a.m. (the train timing was 8:30 so no issues). We hopped on the train took our seats and waited for the train to arrive at Bolpur Shantiniketan Station. We got down from the train at 12:00 p.m. (dot time XD) We took a Toto and reached at our hotel. We took bath, had our lunch and left for Shonajhuri Haat

Shonajhuri Haat was the best place... It felt like I have teleported to the era of Rabi Thakur. Believe me, every single one was wearing traditional dress. Men and boys were wearing Punjabi, Jeans. Some even wore punjabi and dhuti. Women and girls were wearing Saree, churidar, kurti, short kurti and long skirt. Even I was wearing traditional. Tribal dances and baul gaan were my favorite part of the haat. Everyone was "Rabindrik". People singing rabindra sangeet while roaming around the haat, chatting about Rabi Thakur's Uponyash, Choto Golpo, Kobita and what not.

Some tribal, residents of Shantiniketan sold their creative items like Handmade Saree, punjabi, churidar, coat, umbrella, handkerchief, pencil box, diary. Handcrafted Jewelry and alot. We purchased a lot of things. Some titbit of eye-talk or eye-contact happened with a random guy.(he was handsome and was rabindrik from inside cause he was not wearing traditionals but he was very much into the haat and everything present) It felt good, people reading this have all the right to judge me but I felt good.

খোকার মনের ঠিক মাঝখানটিতে

আমি যদি পারি বাস নিতে-_

তবে আমি একবার

জগতের পানে তার

চেয়ে দেখি বসি সে-নিভৃতে ॥

তার রবি শশী তারা

জানিনে কেমন ধার!

~ রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর

I took all these photographs in my camera. I don't know but I looked very beautiful today and felt good as well. I was carrying a camera and was clicking the pictures of every single thing present there. I felt very happy and peaceful. I don't have much words to describe more. I described the whole shonajhuri haat.

(We purchased a lot of cloths and fun moment, nothing was a good fit for my older brother because he is freaking tall and a little chubby. I am waiting for a bookstore in order to purchase a lot of books of Rabindranath)

Thats all for today (second blog coming soon and I am having a very nice trip getting no time to surf my mobile phone XD)

I have to tag these mutuals of mine

@enigma-the-mysterious @choppedphilosopherharmony @intellectual6666 @arjokonna @zindagi-se-darte-ho

Lemme post some Rabindra Sangeet too 📜🍁

Okay! Phewww! This blog is specially for girls and yes once I tried to save one girl from a bad guy and my results are hahahaha betrayal.

Today I will be talking about Patriarchy, Matriarchy, Feminism and alot more (after all bangali ami)

Patriarchy:-

When the world/country/state etc is under the control of men thats is called a patriarchy.

Matriarchy:-

When the world/country/state etc is under the control of a women is called a matriarchy.

Feminism:-

Demand of women to have equal rights like men. Demand for having equality between men and women.

Now lemme begin~

Girls, we have seen boys or men with high ego. Well very well. They (those boys or men) use the term "feminism" whenever girls or women have said something logical which is basically against their opinion or comfort zone. There are people who basically glorify Animal and Kabir Singh.

Living in a patriarchal country I have understood that men want women to be under their feet. According to them "Women should serve their husbands only", "Women are only made for cooking, cleaning, giving birth and taking care of the child", "women should be under the feet of every men".. And believe me, there are women who actually support these because they are born with these absurd believes.

If we take a look into Mahabharat, Draupadi was very much respected by everyone. She was the reason why Kurukshetra came into existance. Kurukshetra was the war of getting back the rights, to be bring back dharma and many more... Duryodhan was not at all a god person. One minutes silence for those who glorify Duryodhan

............................................................................................................

(Silence is over, lets come back)

Alpha males, chapri guys says these to those women who never support their shitty opinions like For example the most common dialogue "these are girls/women are always like this, they will never change, stay away from them"..... Ohhh hello babumoshai (not even in the mood to respect them but still I have self respect) the ones who are educated and have common sense will stay away from you all....

I have high respect for the men who are feminist like Raja Ram Mohon Roy, Rahul Bose, Salman Rushdie, Farhan Akhtar, Javed Akhtar, Anirban Bhattacharya and lot more. And to be very honest a rational and sensible man will be a feminist. Movies like Gangubai Kathiyawadi, Thappad, Darlings, Ladies v/s Ricky Bahl etc are example how chapri men or alpha males derail Innocent women..

I am not against boys.. And stop spreading shits like "Boys never cry, should never be emotional, always be strong" .... They are human beings and they are allowed to cry.. And boys can also be Househusbands.. If women can be a housewife then men can..

I will never be NORMATIVE, and if those toxic chapri alpha men cannot tolerate me, I am very fine being in their block list and I am very happy that I am not a part of their life or friend circle... ( they require immense therapy or ranchi pagla garod, only those toxic men) Thank you so much...

Thats all (inspired from dhruv rathi)

@zakhmpemarham @dopebanditlightpie @enigma-the-mysterious @zindagi-se-darte-ho @ok-jaanu @intellectual6666 @janaknandini-singh999 @jukti-torko-golpo

MY FAVOURITE BLOG

The man whom you are seeing.. This man is my inspiration for writing blogs, listening to Bengali music, reading bengali books, being yourself, to cherish the bangaliyana I have within myself, perfect Bengali pronounciation and what not...

ANIRBAN BHATTACHARYA (the surname which I carry too, but I am not related to him XD) the man who is the BANGLA INDUSTRY RIGHT NOW..

His movies, productions, music directions are amazing.. He is amazing.. I have always wanted to right a blog about him because I can write hundreds of words when it comes to him, but everything vanishes when I hold my pen..

He makes me laugh, he makes me cry and he makes me die..... After exiting from tumblr all I will do is study and watch his movies.. He is so amazing..📜✨

Anirban, anirban, anirban...

Let me promote my Spotify Account too:-

Spotify

Hiya🦋

Hiya🦋, a user on Spotify

পাগলী, তোমার সঙ্গে আশাপূর্ণা জীবন কাটাব

আমি কিনব ফুল, তুমি ঘর সাজাবে যাবজ্জীবন

পাগলী, তোমার সঙ্গে জয় জওয়ান জীবন কাটাব

পাগলী, তোমার সঙ্গে জয় কিষান কাটাব জীবন।

সন্ধেবেলা ঝগড়া হবে, হবে দুই বিছানা আলাদা

হপ্তা হপ্তা কথা বন্ধ মধ্যরাতে আচমকা মিলন

পাগলী, তোমার সঙ্গে ব্রক্ষ্মচারী জীবন কাটাব

পাগলী, তোমার সঙ্গে আদম ইভ কাটাব জীবন।

(Some lines from the Poem - পাগলী, তোমার সঙ্গে by Joy Goswami)

why is it "you are so rude" and not.......

Kaisi teri khudgarzi, lab namak rame na misri, kaisi teri khudgarzi, tujhe preet purani bisri..

🐚📜🌸🍁

okay, attention bangali!!!, saraswati pujo and valentines day are on the same day this year.. Saraswati pujo is basically the valentines day of bengalis.

Now, to all those bacha bacha couples, bad luck- karon tomader bedsheet ar bedcover hoye ekdin e berote debe.. ar berote parbenaa.. Because you cringe couples aka doodh er sishus are the only cause of deflation of my sanity (karon toder dekhle amar gaa haath pa jole jaye). Uronto bike e duronto mamomi’s, ektu aste gari chalaben tar karon apnader mrityo shigrohi ashche bole amader moto paaye chola public dero mrityor karon hoben na..

To all the "parar kuchute kakimaas" jodi dekhi apnar meye OYO te giye anjali dicche, tobe amio kintu shonate charbona.. (Ami school theke karor sathe fhirle toh ekebare semi-mahabharat shuru kore phelen) Beshi barabari korlena cheredebona....

Ekhon anek day ashte choleche... ami just slap day tar jonyo wait korchi.. Rastaye jake dekhbo takei chor mere happy slap day bole cut marbo...

Okay koekta bangali der tag koredi

@enigma-the-mysterious @punamc @choppedphilosopherharmony @dopebanditlightpie @zindagi-se-darte-ho @hashi-thatta @janaknandini-singh999 @jukti-torko-golpo

Ei koekjon e ache i guess

A Simple Bus Ride

Its was 1:02p.m. I usually go to school with my father in his Royal Enfield. Unfortunately, he was busy today so he told me to take a bus and go to school. I travelled to school alone several times, but today something was different. I was standing near the bus stop when a "D-32" bus came and stood there. I usually travel in "81/1 Bus" but I was getting late to school so I took that bus.

The bus was spacious and it lacked chaos. I made myself sit in the last seats of the bus as most of the front seats were occupied. I put my earphones on and started listening to "Prem Dot Com Season 4" audio story and the name was of the story was "Ami Achi Toh".

When the bus stopped near Barrackpore station, the passenger occupying the window seat got down and now I was occupying in the window side seat. I was listening to the audio story carefully when suddenly sun kissed my cheeks and my eyes. I thought to click a picture of mine but I would be of no use. The whole bus ride my quite and calm.. I was viewing the regular scenery but today I was seeing things differently from the bus window..

The whole ride felt like I am having a solo trip. The story was accurate, the bus was good, I was well dressed, looked good and I felt...... siren....

Thats all

why can't I just say that "তোমাকেই ভালো লেগেছে, তাই তোমার দালান জুড়ে আঁকলাম, এক নদী ভরা স্নান, তোমাকেই মনে ধরেছে তাই, পুরোনো খাতায় লিখে রাখলাম, নতুন প্রেমের গান।" to him... ✨📜🍂🥀 

😭👍🏻✨✨ anek bhalo!! Fhatiye diyechish... Just write blogs... All your uneasiness will go away... 😚💗✨

I installed Tumblr because of @amar-hiyar-majhe

She is an active blogger in Tumblr and since we're very close to each other, she wanted me to write blogs too and then to reblog each other's posts. I did install it a few days back but couldn't actually get the time to sit and think about any desired topic. And everyday she was like "Punam, when are you gonna write blogs???" And each time I said, "I've no idea what to write."

I'm an introvert, a loner and an overthinker. So I guess everyone can understand what I do when I'm alone. I think a lot. I think about everything deeply. But it's not a rare thing. Most of the people (mainly girls) nowadays have the tendency to overthink stuffs.

But usually I don't have the habit of jotting down my feelings. I do write a few paragraphs in my "Keep Notes" app when I feel extreme, which is usually once or twice a month. But I like to keep those private. Moreover, nowadays I'm not even getting the time to feel overwhelmed. It's not like I'm very busy. It's just that I don't allow myself anymore to think too much and get hurt about something which will make no good in my life and like to keep myself busy most of the time. Those used to physically hurt my brain and heart which was absolutely unhealthy so I decided to just stop. Nowadays I have an attitude like "Jo hoga dekha jayega".

Today all of a sudden I remembered someone close to me saying that I should keep a hobby for myself. Something I'll like to do when I'm free which will refresh my brain. I had one before which is singing but due to some reasons it's no more a hobby of mine. After that I didn't consider anything as my hobby. Although I love to read books and sometimes write about stuffs but that's not regular. On a regular basis I usually watch YouTube videos and movies but again it's not so productive. Basically these things don't take much time and we don't require to give much attention and concentration. And for these reasons they're not productive.

I thought I should start being productive now. And writing blogs is one among them. So yeah, from now I'll start writing blogs, not on a daily basis, but whenever it'll be relevant for me.

And that's it! I blabbered too much about myself which was not necessary I guess. Thank you to the few people who'll read it till the end.

We all should start discovering ourselves more.

~Punam

Your blog is sooo pretty 😍, all those posts with little clips from movies combined with those deep meaningful Bengali phrases , ahaa mon chhuye gelo , bhaggish aapnar blog ta khuje pelam

MY GODDDD!! THANKS A LOT!! I am very much into Bengali things. Moreover I am Bengali and I love my culture a lot... I read Bengali poetry and love to watch Bengali movies etc... Thanks a lot, really.... 😭💗✨

I am in my art class now, my forth year written examination of art got over.. After two weeks I came to my art class.. It is my happy place... Here I do the thing which I love. I have never said no to my art classes just because it is my comfort place...

A cute little girl is sitting in front of me, scribbling in her drawing pad which made me think of me when I used to do such things.. Some other kids are shouting and talking which made me think of me as a kid who used to talk continuously and disturb my sir... Sir is nice, cool too.. Happy place I told you...

Some kids have become grown ups.. They are taking advice from me regarding art works.... Made me feel proud..

Some kids are running around and playing with their drawing.... (Sir is not in the room so critical scenario) They will get scolding for sure...

This current situation made me think of this song.. (Not relatable at all... don't blame me, blame my brain...)

exam officially got over yesterday. As usual I installed Instagram and the first thing I did was to open the profile of Shreya Chatterjee.. (Usually th first thing I do is open tumblr to check on the only friend I have in tumblr.. after that I had a bad event so). Scrolling through her profile makes me feel so calm and drifts me away from all my overthinkings and insecurities... Her poems, her photographs, her spotify playlist everything is on point...

To have a profile like her is also my wish... I have found out that Shreya Di and me are quite similar in some stages, for example we both love our culture, we love all the languages and traditions of our country, the way we think is also quite similar... Her profile is so aesthetic and cozy it really makes me feel good! Yesterday I spent hours on her profile.. Sometimes I cried, sometimes I laughed seeing her feed..(I was also going through something and as soon as I opened her account i started crying anyways.. No emotional talks)... I really admire her...

With Love,

Hiya~

My playlist of bangla gaan.....

oi building ta te jodi ekbar jete pari, tahole mone korbo, I am living a srijit mukherjee film...

একলা মনের রিকশা চলে

দমকা প্রেমের গল্প বলে

শুকনো পাতার সন্ধ্যেবেলার গান

কোন হরিণের দুষ্টু ছায়ায়

খেলনা দোকান ডাকছে রে আয়

ভুল করেছি আর যাবো না

মিথ্যে মায়ায় চমকাবো না......

Anirban Bhattacharya is my favorite actor from the tollywood... But here the best acting was/is done by Jishu Sengupta....

This is my second time watching "Dawshom Awbotaar" and still I am drooling over anirban bhattacharya... 🍂🌷

আমার সঙ্গে ঈশ্বর কথা বলেন

তোমার সঙ্গে ঈশ্বর কথা বলেন

তারপর এসে ডেকে নিয়ে যান রাতে

তার নীচু স্বরে আদেশ শুনতে পাই

স্মৃতি পার করে চাহিদার সীমানাতে

যাও চলে, দাও শরীরে আমাকে ঠাঁই!

নিজেকে পোড়াও আগুনের মতো রেগে

বড়ো ছায়া দাও, আমিও খানিক চলি...

মুগ্ধতা থাক ত্রাসের আঙুল ধরে —

সুন্দর যাক, ভয়ঙ্করের কোলে।

যেও তুমি সোজা, থেমো না কখনও

জেনো, চূড়ান্ত বলে কোনো অনুভূতি নেই

শুধু দেখো, যেন আমার এ রাস্তা দিয়ে

হেঁটে যেতে গিয়ে, হারিয়ো না আমাকেই...

I think I have to start practicing dance in order to improve myself and stay out worthless distractions..

I still remember I used to dance in my terrace and my neighbours used watch and say "minu, tor naach dekhle amader bikel bela ta khub bhalo bhabe kete jaye re, ekta shanti ashe mone"

The tinkling of my ghunghur and payel makes me satisfied... Will have to start again...

✨🍂

A sudden feeling

today is 30th January... I am sitting in my bathroom writing this while my mom is listening to masakali.. And it is very much audible from the bathroom as the sound is quite high..

anyways.. I am feeling very low these days.. I overthink a lot.. And overthinking helps me to actually know the whole truth because whenever I overthink about something it turns into reality... Moreover, this blog is the result of my overthinking...

Being neglected by the people I basically love to hangout with, talk to, has been a habit for me because I know that I will lose them.. But still I don't hurt them.... Okay so now my mom is playing shishe se shisha takraye...

Anyways feeling a little bit better after writing the feelings which I kept in my heart for like a week maybe.... A two day or one day trip to shantiniketan can give my soul a little bit of shanti now.. Hey Rabindra Nath come and take me out of this one sided "shesher kobita" phase.. Anyways bye... Don't feel uneasy to judge me.. Because I am judged by every single human being... If anybody can relate my current condition, do comment... (I don't even know if I will post this but still)

✨🌼

(Posted today itself XD)

"~मालती गुन्धाय केश प्यारे घुघुवारे मुख दामिनी-सी दमकत चाल मतवारी~"

a blog is not about writing personal stuff but to be honest a very proud moment happened with me when I was in class 6.

I performed with The God of Kathak Late Guruji Birju Maharaj.... The moment when I got up on stage I was shivering.. He taught the dance moves in the most easiest way.... One of his favorite student also assisted...

I often don't disclose my proud moments but I had to write it down...

one fine evening (better to say night), I was humming "জীবন যখন ছিল ফুলের মতো পাপড়ি তাহার ছিল শত শত" of Kobiguru Rabindranath Thakur..

when I sang the line "বসন্তে সে হ'ত যখন দাতা ঝরিয়ে দিত দু-চারটি তার পাতা..." my baba came to me and said, "beta, tui eto bhalo gaan korish, gaan ta chaliye jetei partish"

That moment I felt je "gaan ta ami khub bhaloi gaayi". My baba is a person of perfection and he is not like those jara sobh somoye for every little thing lok ke praise kore.. So I felt glad when my father told me that. He never praise me that much... So it made me feel a little proud about myself...

ছুঁয়ে দিলে মন-বিনা বেজে ওঠে যে

দে ভিজিয়ে শুধু যেন আঁখি না ভেজে,

জানিনা কিভাবে তোকে বলি এ আমি

কত রাগই থেকে যাবে হয়ে বেনামী।

মরমিয়া মন, মানেনা এখন

কেন সে বাওয়ারা,

রং মেশায় দিন রাতে

এ দু’চোখেরই দরিয়াতে,

কে আর তুই ছাড়া ....

লাগে না, লাগে না

আজ জিয়া তুই ছাড়া,

🛺🦢📃🌼🥥🪔🎡🐚

there are some days when you have nothing to write about, nothing to talk about. Just you sitting quietly, listening to music, doing pending assignments and other stuffs.

You just don't have much to say. All you say is "fine" , "thik ache" , "accha" , "na korbona" etc.

To be honest, the above mentioned things are the most boring side of us, where we are just being "we" or "us". And we honestly cherish those boring side of us which others don't. And Its better to be fine with that.

Listening to this gives me comfort...

I have seen in my 17years of life that I was the only one who wanted or still wants to hold onto people. For example I always tell my close ones that, "say that you will never leave me" or "you will stay, right? I hope you won't go away?"

me, yes, I was the only one who wanted people to stay in my life. However, nobody ever told me to stay or never leave them. For once I wanna hear this. From my very own initiative I have told people that "I won't leave you" but nobody ever told me "I hope you won't leave me, would you?"

I am the most hated person in school right now. I really don't have a friend who will only stay with me, will roam around with me, fool around, talk shit, study together, help each other, support each other and what not. I hope I will always be alone. My paternal family members likes loneliness but I can't bear that.

There are things which I really wanna do all alone like, bunjee jumping (spelling might be wrong), bike riding on a highway (harley davidson heritage classic), driving, jump into the river and swim, weight loss, aesthetic life and what not.

Still I wanna do things with someone like I wanna a have a wishlist with someone. Only me and her/him.

Thats alll

I'm not feeling it today I'm very hurt and had no other outlet