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Cersei Lannister - Blog Posts
THE
..REASON...
...WHY...
..I..
..SHALL..
...FOREVER..
...REMAIN...
...SINGLE.
Show Jaime:
“I know I just slept with Brienne who I have a deep attachment to, and I’m about six seasons deep into a redemption arch but Ima peace out and get crushed by rocks with my sister wife”
Book Jaime literally in the middle of reading a letter from Cersei begging him to come and save her:
“I wonder what brienne is doing right now”
I see what you want. I get what you mean. But I’m to ashamed to admit it (I got shamed by my friend 🥹)
u all need to wake up!!!!!! fight back!!!!!!!
I never gripped my phone so hard before in my life
NEDCEI NATION WOKE UPPPP
au in which robert, the starks and the lannisters play monopoly instead of going hunting and pushing each other‘s kids from towers.
tyrion implements a tax system to make things more interesting and fights cersei over the cat for a solid ten minutes.
around thirty minutes into the game, catelyn realizes that she has free will and stops paying taxes.
arya and sansa haggle over new york avenue, which ends up being bought by theon. this causes the two to completely cast aside their differences, ally and subsequently start doing everything in their power to make theon‘s life hell.
theon himself is quite severely stoned the entire time throughout.
ned enters horrendous debt pretty much immediately and, after two hours of being financially sucked dry by both cersei and his tax evader of a wife, decides to just place his figurine in jail and never leave.
jon, playing the dog, controls the railroads and makes jaime, playing the ship, go completely broke within minutes. being beaten by a bastard and officially the first to lose the game makes jaime so mad he spends the rest of the evening perched on the family‘s ancestral armchair eating flaming hot cheetos and stifling sobs.
cersei is holding onto her last two dollars and her one house in atlantic avenue like a maniac and evades taxes like it‘s an olympic sport. she claims ownership of kentucky avenue on the grounds that red is her house‘s color at least twice. after three hours, she‘s consumed enough vintage red to kill a large mammal and keeps quoting the art of war. fascinatingly enough, she never goes completely broke.
robert, just as broke and drunk as his wife but not nearly as ferocious, proposes marriage for tax advantages to bran, who is in possession of the boardwalk and lets him dangle on his proposition for two rounds before accepting and feeling like a benevolent god.
sansa sees this and immediately proposes to arya, who accepts, only for them to be sued by their mother for public indecency („you‘re siblings, jesus christ!“). arya argues that this is just a game and that one could argue that robert‘s and bran‘s marital alliance is just as if not even more inappropriate, considering that bran is seven and robert thirtyseven. sansa countersues her mother for tax evasion, who promises she‘ll drop her lawsuit if her daughters let her keep hoarding perverse amounts of wealth. „love wins!“ arya says, which causes jaime, still perched on the armchair but now eating old nan‘s home made whiskey truffles, to hysterically sob. cersei stares him down.
robb, in a rare moment of almost prophetic foresight, excuses himself one hour in and goes on a very, VERY long walk with grey wind.
tyrion, whose tax system has spectacularly backfired in his face, proposes marriage to catelyn, jon and cersei in rapid succession, who all turn him down. „i wish i was the monster you think i am. i wish i had enough poison for the whole pack of you. i would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.“ he screams before he leaves the table.
at that, joffrey, who has refused to participate and instead sits on the couch playing doom on his nintendo ds, starts hysterically laughing. tyrion turns on his heel and awards his nephew with the bitchslap of the century. this causes cersei to completely abandon the game and chase after him with a broom. catelyn makes sure that everyone is distracted by the lannister antics and then reaches across the table and bags cersei‘s money and properties.
with a heavy heart, myrcella trades arya and sansa one of her limited edition bayala schleich unicorns for park place.
at this point, the game is between the tycoons that are catelyn and jon, the bran-robert alliance, the arya-sansa-alliance, and ned, who is still in jail and watching ice hockey on his phone under the table. that is when catelyn hears rickon gagging and discovers that he, in the absence of tyrion, the self declared bank manager, has managed to eat all bank notes from the box.
rickon gets his stomach pumped, cersei and tyrion have both been arrested, theon is still stoned, arya, sansa and myrcella have wandered off to go play schleich horses, and jon remains at the table, alone, content, and quietly considering himself the winner.
cersei + qyburn as that one princess celestia meme
Game of Thrones Season 7 Character Poster
The older I get,
the more I see
how women are described
as having gone mad
when what they’ve actually become
is knowledgeable
and powerful
and fucking furious.
- Sophie Heawood
yet another ‘characters posing for a camera™’ case
this time with siblings of the previous generation
Wth
How the heck did kids as sweet as Mrcyella and Tommen come out of Cersei?
jaime and cersei’s whole thing is so much funnier when you remember they’re fraternal. bitch u not even one EGG in two bodies much less SOUL
cersei’s fangirl phase (and her fanmade rhaegar doll she plays house with)
Highborn sisters and brothers Part 3! Finally with our dearest asoiaf twins :D Cersei and Catelyn are basically just grown-up versions of their (eldest) daughters.
The Prophecy of the younger, more beautiful one.
I'm a huge fan of all the theories regarding the lady who will eventually cast Cersei down and I think it might be a combination of young woman and girls that all partly take away the few bits of Cersei's life that she actually cares about. While I also liked to see Lady Brienne of Tarth up in this list (as a knight whose beauty isn't skin deep but rather shines from her very soul - a fact Jaimie Lannister eventually realises) I choose the young queens and the ones that have/had potential to be a queen in the future. [Might later update this version with Shireen Baratheon who (just like Brienne) is far more beautiful on the inside and would eventually be a queen if daddy Stannies gets his claim to the iron throne.]
LENA HEADEY as CERSEI LANNISTER in GAME OF THRONES ↳ 4.07 - “Mockingbird”
But if it weren’t for my children, I’d have thrown myself from the highest window in the Red Keep. They’re the reason I’m alive. Even Joffrey? Even Joffrey.
Lena Headey in Game of Thrones S03E10 “Mhysa”
CERSEI LANNISTER 2.09 | “Blackwater”
I will forever hold a grudge against ned for killing sansa's direwolf, Lady. Like is he fr. DIREWOLFS ARE LITTERLY HOUSE STARKS SIGIL. I wholeheartedly believe that he could've convinced Robert to take back his decision BUT HE BARELY PROTESTED like tf. Lady deserved so much better, she was such a good girl, the BESTEST girl, just like Sansa. Lady was the prettiest, the most gentle, and trusting of the litter:( .She didnt even do anything. All cause Cersie was like "the man i'd thought to wed would have laid wolfskin across my bed before the sun went down" like girl stfu u didn't even know the man😒. Ik she did it to provoke Robert but still. NED EVEN KNEW THAT ARYA WAS TELLING THE TRUTH. WHY TF WOULD HE DO THAT. Renly was so real for laughing at Jofferys face and then leaving🙄
Missandei could have
just tackled Cersei off that ledge and that would have been it
mother!cersei imagine
i’m having cersei feel. enjoy.
You crept through the tower, trying not to wake anyone up. You opened your mother’s chambers, knowing she wouldn’t be sleeping in father’s room.
“Mother?” You asked lightly, gently stroking her face. You didn’t want to startle her.
“What’s wrong sweetling?” She asked, sitting up.
“I had a nightmare again.” You looked down, “I tried to be brave and fall asleep again but I just couldn’t.”
You were the youngest of Cersei’s children, “Come here little lioness.” Cersei was very loving to you. You were her little princess and she would kill for you.
You climbed into her bed and settled into her arms where she stroked your hair, “I’ll always be here to protect you. Especially from your father. He will never yell at my little lion again.” She kissed your head.
Robert had yelled at you after a day of drinking and frightened you. Cersei snapped when it happened and she nearly killed him.
“Why can’t Uncle Jaime be my dad instead? He’s so much nicer.” You loved your father but he never treated you like his child. Jaime, on the other hand, showered you with gifts and always played with you.
“I know sweetling. Soon the kingdom will be ours. Now rest your eyes. You can sleep with me for tonight and every night you have nightmares.” She helped you settle next to her as she held you.
“I love you mama.” You whispered as you drifted to sleep in her arms.
Idk what these are called, but I love them, enjoy.
i hate how people read asoiaf and go But what if they were more strategic. oh renly was so dumb to usurp his brother. cersei was so dumb when she [everything she ever did]. daemon was dumb when he did blood and cheese. and its like but they did those things because theyre renly cersei daemon. renly is an attention whore cos he has no parents and two brothers one of whom is a pussy-slaying frat bro and the other is a closeted middle manager. cersei did dumb things because she was raised by tywin 'caesar was right' lannister in the seven 'patriarchy' kingdoms. and daemon is daemon. you guys just want a book where everyone is a flat personality 500iq MENSA logician. and that sounds like dogshit!