Dark Elli William - Blog Posts

Idk if you watched yellowjackets but i really think you would like it!

It got me thinking about ellie who lost her bestfriend (secret crush/love of her life) reader and cant part with her body and breaksdown when people find out she has it and take it away from her

Dont take her from me - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! i haven't watched it yet but its been on my watchlist... I've heard good things about it. Once again i got carried away... i hope you enjoy:)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me songs or your silly ideas:)

HUGE WARNING: grief, delusion, breakdown, body transport, psychological decay, corpses/dead bodies, disturbing comfort, jealousy, paranoia, anxiety, mental health strain, grave raiding, corpse handling, delusion, isolation, obsession, gore implied, graphic descriptions, blood, unsettling behaviour

Summary: Ellie’s always had control—until someone threatens to take the one person she can’t live without

masterlist

This story contains dark and emotionally intense themes—please read with care. You are responsible for what you consume online. Please read the warnings before reading.

The blood had dried on Ellie’s hands hours ago.

But she still sat there, legs numb from being folded too long, your lifeless form cradled in her arms like you might wake up if she held you tight enough.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

She didn’t even get the chance to tell you how she felt—how the thing in her chest wasn’t just a crush. Wasn’t just longing. It was hunger. Ached for you so deeply that she sometimes had to grip the edge of her desk just to stop from running to your house and spilling every ugly truth in her head.

Now she was sitting on the cold floor of an abandoned cabin, in the middle of nowhere, covered in blood and sweat and dirt—and none of it mattered. None of it compared to the way your body had gone still. Your breath, your light… extinguished like it was never there.

She pressed her cheek to your forehead. Still faintly warm.

“Don’t go cold,” she whispered, voice shredded from hours of screaming your name into nothingness. “Just stay a little longer. Just stay with me.”

She rocked slightly. Back and forth. Like she could lull you into staying. Like you were just sleeping off a long night.

And when the others came—Jesse, Dina, a couple others from Jackson—Ellie didn’t even flinch.

They saw her first. Then you. No one spoke. For a moment, all they did was stare.

Then Jesse stepped forward. “Ellie,” he said softly, eyes wide with horror, “we have to take her.”

She didn’t look up. “No.”

“Ellie—”

“No.”

Her voice cracked, sharp and shrill, and her grip around your torso tightened.

“She’s not—she’s not ready. She’s not cold yet. She’s not—” Her breath hitched. “You can’t just take her.”

Dina’s face twisted in pain. “El… we need to bury her. It’s not safe out here, there’s—”

“You don’t get to touch her!” Ellie roared, head snapping up. Her eyes were wild—bloodshot, soaked with grief and rage. “You didn’t know her like I did. You don’t even get it.”

She scrambled back as Jesse reached again, shielding your body like a wounded animal. Her fingers trembled where they clung to your clothes.

“She was mine,” she whispered. “I never got to say it—but she was. She was. And you’re not gonna put her in the fucking ground like she’s just gone. She’s not.”

She pressed a kiss to your temple. Desperate. Cracked. “I can keep her warm. I swear. I’ll—I’ll keep her safe. Don’t take her from me. Please.”

But your skin was cooling.

No amount of warmth from her hands, no matter how feverishly she held you, could stop the inevitable.

She had memorized every scar, every laugh, every stupid joke you told just to see her crack a smile. And now you were quiet. Hollow. Just an echo.

They had to sedate her.

It took three of them. She fought like a hellhound, screaming your name, kicking, crying, biting, even when the needle sank into her neck. Even when her body slumped in Jesse’s arms, unconscious… her fingers were still twisted in your shirt.

When she woke up in Jackson days later, you were gone. She lost it.

They wouldn’t tell her where they buried you. Said she wasn’t stable. Said she needed rest, time, healing.

She screamed until her voice gave out. Tore her room apart looking for anything you touched. Burned a hole through your favorite hoodie just trying to breathe it in.

She sneaks out that night. Finds the grave. It’s quiet. Peaceful. The dirt’s still fresh.

Ellie drops to her knees, hands shaking, and begins to dig. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. She doesn’t care. She needs to see your face again.

Needs to kiss you, one more time, even if your lips are cold. Needs to apologize for all the time she wasted. Needs to ask if you’d have said yes—if she had asked you out. If you’d have smiled, taken her hand, told her you felt it too.

When they find her in the morning, she’s curled up beside the half-opened grave, fingers bloodied, dirt under her nails, your name on her lips. She doesn’t even look up.

“She was the only good thing,” she whispers, to no one. “And I didn’t get to keep her.”

It had been six days since you died. No one had found the cabin. Not yet. She made sure of it.

The windows were boarded. The door—barred with a chair wedged under the knob. Every possible crack sealed tight. She'd left bloodied handprints on the wood floor from moving you again, and again, and again—trying to find the right spot, the one you’d be most comfortable in.

You were laid out on a mattress in the center of the room, tucked under a worn blanket she stole from your house weeks ago. Your hair combed back gently. Lips touched with rose balm. She even painted your nails.

“See?” Ellie murmured, sitting beside you, her knees folded tightly under her. Her fingers brushed the edge of your arm—skin pale, but not blue. Not yet. “Told you I’d take care of you.”

She hadn’t eaten in two days. Barely drank water. Her eyes were sunken, red-rimmed, skin tight across her cheekbones. But her gaze never left you.

Sometimes, she imagined you blinking. Sometimes, she swore you did.

Sometimes, she dreamed you whispered her name, and when she woke up, her ear would be inches from your mouth, waiting. Just waiting for it again.

It wasn’t decomposition. It was transition. That’s what she told herself. That the smell wasn’t decay—it was your soul trying to root itself in her.

That the darkening under your eyes wasn’t rot—it was exhaustion from everything you’d been through.

That the way your body stiffened wasn’t rigor mortis—it was just you being shy. You’d always been shy.

They came looking for her on the ninth day. A knock at the cabin.

“Ellie? Are you in there?”

Jesse.

Ellie blinked, gaze pulling from your face. She didn’t answer.

“Ellie, please. We just want to help.”

Help?

They didn’t understand.

They wanted to take you.

She stood slowly, reaching for the axe near the doorway. The one she'd been using to chop firewood—and threaten the shadows when they got too loud.

She looked down at you one last time. Her expression soft, loving, doting.

“They don’t get to have you,” she whispered, eyes glassy. “You’re mine.” Then she went to the door.

The floorboards are stained now. Not from you. From the others.

They tried to come in. They didn’t leave.

She had to do it. She had to. They would’ve taken you. Put you in the ground like you were nothing more than meat and memory.

You weren’t. You were everything. Still are.

Now it’s just the two of you again. The way it should be.

Ellie sleeps curled up at the foot of your mattress, arm across your ankle like a child holding a stuffed toy. She tells you stories. She sings to you—soft lullabies she remembers her mom humming, or songs she once heard you hum absentmindedly in the kitchen.

Sometimes she kisses your hand. Sometimes she cries and begs you not to leave her.

“I love you,” she whispers again and again. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I won’t let them bury you. You’re mine.”

The backseat of the truck smelled like copper and perfume. The perfume was yours. A bottle she stole from your bathroom before the blood dried. She sprayed it on you each morning like ritual. Like prayer.

The copper was blood. Not yours, mostly.

She had to kill the man who owned the truck.

He tried to take it—you. Said it wasn’t “right.” Said you were a body, not a person anymore. Said she needed help.

He didn’t understand. None of them did.

Ellie adjusted the blanket over your face again, tucking it neatly beneath your chin. The fabric clung wetly to your skin, the heat of the day making it damp. Your body… was changing. But she didn’t look at the changes. She looked at your eyes, still closed, eyelashes dark and perfect.

She turned the engine and drove.

You were going west. She didn’t have a destination. Not a real one. Just the vague echo of hope in the back of her skull that somewhere, someone out there could bring you back. Fix it.

There had to be a way. Science. Magic. Something. People resurrect dogs all the time in books, right?

So why not you? You were better than a dog. You were her.

Day 4

The desert was hot.

Your skin started to blister.

Ellie cried while wiping you down with a cool rag, her hands trembling. “I’m sorry, baby. I should’ve covered you better. You don’t like the sun, remember? You always said it makes you dizzy. I should’ve known.”

She stuffed ice in a towel and placed it under your neck. It melted within an hour.

Day 7

She changed your clothes.

It took two hours. Your limbs were stiff now, resistant, like you were mad at her. She apologized over and over again, kissing your hands, your face, your knees.

“You’re so cold,” she whispered, wrapping you in a hoodie that once belonged to her. “But I’ll warm you up. We just need to keep moving.”

Day 9

She saw the lights in the sky. Or maybe imagined them.

A roadside church with the word “HEALING” painted in blood-red letters drew her attention. She pulled over. Inside, there were no people. Just old books, dry flowers, and a candlelit altar.

She laid you there, right in the center, brushing your hair from your forehead. Then she got on her knees.

Prayed.

For the first time in her life.

“Please,” she whispered. “Please. I love her. I didn’t get to say it. Please just… give her back. I’ll do anything.”

The candles flickered. Her heart stopped. You didn’t move.

Day 12

You smelled worse now.

She lined the truck bed with herbs. Lavender. Mint. Anything she could find.

She kept the windows cracked so you could breathe. She never admitted—never—that you couldn’t. That maybe your lungs had stopped working long ago. Because you still looked peaceful. Still looked like you were sleeping. Still looked like you might say her name if she leaned close enough.

Sometimes she imagined you turning to her. Smiling. She started answering for you. Making conversations in the dark.

“Do you think we’ll find someone?”

Yeah, El. I think so.

“Should I stop driving tonight?”

I like the sound of the road. Keep going.

“Okay. I’ll keep going.”

Day 15

The truck ran out of gas in Arizona.

Ellie dragged your body through the sand, arms bruised and bleeding, sunburnt to hell. She tied you to a door she ripped off an abandoned house and pulled it like a sled. Her boots left deep tracks behind her. Buzzards circled above. But she didn’t look up. Didn’t cry.

Didn’t slow down.

“I’m taking you to the ocean,” she told you. “You always wanted to see it. We’ll go together. We’ll walk into the waves. Maybe that’s what you need.”

Your lips were cracked. Hollow.

But she smiled at you like you’d just said “thank you.”

Day 20

She made it to the coast. Somehow.

Body bruised, fingers blackened, lips crusted and bleeding, Ellie stood barefoot in the surf, your body laid out beside her on the wet sand. The tide rolled in. Foam kissed your toes.

She knelt beside you, her voice shaking. “This is it. If you’re gonna come back… it’ll be here.”

The moon hung above like an unblinking eye.

She took your hand, held it to her chest, pressed her lips to your temple one last time.

“Please.”

Silence.

“Please, wake up.”

Nothing.

The water rose. The stars flickered. Ellie’s tears slid down your dead face.

And then—

In the wind, she heard it.

Faint. Echoing. Gentle.

“I missed you too, El.”

Her mouth broke into a smile.

And when the waves swallowed you both whole, she didn’t fight it.

When Ellie opened her eyes, there was no pain. No sand. No salt. No hunger. No rotting flesh between her fingers. Just warmth. A low golden hum.

And you.

Sitting on the edge of a bed, hair glowing in the soft light. Wearing that shirt she loved on you, the one you always slept in. Your legs curled beneath you, a book open in your lap. You looked up, smiled.

“Hey.” Her breath hitched.

She looked down. Her hands were clean. No blood, no dirt. Her boots were gone. She was barefoot, the floor beneath her soft and cloud-warm.

“…Where…?” she croaked.

You tilted your head. “You’re home.”

Ellie staggered forward like a child learning to walk again, eyes wide, unblinking. “Is this—am I dreaming?”

You didn’t answer. Just opened your arms. She collapsed into them.

The scent of you—pure, unchanged—drenched her brain like a drug. Your skin was warm. Your breath against her ear as you whispered her name made her sob.

“I missed you,” she choked. “I missed you so fucking much.”

You stroked her hair. “I know. I waited.”

The house had no doors. No clocks. No sky. Just soft white light that never dimmed. It existed outside of time. And so did you.

You cooked together. Slept curled in one another’s arms. Sang songs in the silence. She traced your face every night, whispering prayers of thanks to whatever cruel or merciful god had made this possible.

But some things weren’t quite right.

You never left the house.

Never asked her questions.

Never said “I love you” first.

Sometimes, Ellie caught glimpses—your reflection in the window lagging behind, your voice echoing before you spoke, your heartbeat silent when her ear pressed to your chest.

But she ignored it.

Because she had you.

One Day…

She woke up and you weren’t there. The bed was cold. Empty.

She searched the house—every corner, every drawer. Screaming your name until her voice gave out. In the mirror above the sink, her reflection stared at her. But it wasn’t her.

Its eyes were black. Hollow. Its skin cracked. Decaying.

“You took her,” she whispered to it.

“You lost her,” the mirror answered.

She shattered it with her fists.

Later, she found you again. Sitting in the bedroom, combing your hair.

Like nothing had happened.

Ellie fell to her knees. “Please don’t leave again.”

You turned, eyes soft. “I didn’t leave. You just forgot where I was.”

Her hands shook as she touched your cheek. You were still cold.

Colder than before.

As the days passed—if you could call them days—you began to fade.

Literally.

Your edges blurred. Your voice softened into whispers. Your body, once warm, became translucent in the light. Ellie wrapped herself around you each night like armor, like a chain.

“You’re not going anywhere,” she hissed into your hair. “I won’t let you go again.” You didn’t respond. But you wept in your sleep.

One night, she woke up alone again. This time, you didn’t come back.

Ellie searched every room, howling like an animal. Her skin began to flake. Her nails fell off. She bled from the gums. The house, once warm, was now cold stone. Shadows whispered your name, mockingly, again and again and again. She clawed at the walls until they bled with her.

Then she saw the door. The first and only door. At the end of the hallway, pulsing like a wound. She stepped through.

On the other side: Both your bodies washed up by the ocean.

Her body, lying beside it. Rotting. Clutching your arm. And a figure, dressed in black, speaking gently.

“You can’t stay with her forever,” Death murmured. “This was your mind's lie. Your denial. It’s time to go.”

Ellie laughed. “Fuck off.”

She turned around, walked back into the house. Back into the version of you that smiled when she arrived. That never asked her to change. That didn’t cry when she kissed your cold mouth.

She never left again.

Ellie stayed in the house—forever rotting, forever hallucinating. Holding your fading, flickering ghost and convincing herself you were real. And in her head, in her twisted, love-drunk eternity, you always whispered the same thing before sleep:

“I’ll never leave you again.”

And even if it was a lie—

Ellie believed it.

When they eventually found your bodies, the costal shore reeked of sweet sick rot.

Ellie was thin. Hollow. Nails broken. Eyes vacant. But Ellie’s smile is peaceful.

She’s lying beside you, one hand holding your arm, the other clutched around a knife driven straight into her own heart. A blood trail leading from her chest to the outline of your body, as if she were trying to bleed into you. Return to you. Merge with you.

There’s a note, scrawled on the sand:

“She waited for me. I’ll stay with her now.”

oooo how would professor ellie be and helping reader deal with baby brain??

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Ellie immediately noticed the baby brain getting worse after Arnold’s birth—when you tried to warm up formula in the freezer.

☆ She didn’t laugh. She just kissed your forehead and said, “Okay, we’re labeling the appliances now.”

☆ She actually made laminated, color-coded labels for everything in the kitchen, even labeling the fridge "cold mama box."

☆ Ellie started carrying around a mini notepad just for you—so whenever you said “remind me to…” she’d jot it down, rip it out, and stick it to the fridge later.

☆ She downloaded four different baby apps on her phone and synced them to yours “just in case you forget the login.”

☆ Ellie started doing all the grocery shopping herself. She says it’s because she “doesn’t trust you not to come home with twelve cucumbers and no wipes.”

☆ She leaves sticky notes in the most random places—on your hairbrush, your favorite mug, your side of the mirror—saying things like:

“Brush hair, drink water, kiss your genius wife.”

☆ If you forget what day it is, she’ll tease you with, “It’s Monday, babe. I teach. You nurse. Aurora bosses everyone around. Classic schedule.”

☆ Ellie took over organizing Aurora’s school things and Arnold’s paediatric appointments without telling you—just quietly made herself the admin on everything.

☆ She keeps emergency snacks in her desk drawer for you. They’re labelled: “Reader’s sanity bites.”

☆ When you forgot your phone at home for the third time in a week, Ellie drove back from campus during her break just to give it to you—with a protein bar and a coffee.

☆ She never scolds or sighs—she just wraps you in her arms and says, “We made a whole human. You’re allowed to forget what the stove is.”

☆ Ellie started handwriting a “day summary” in a little journal next to your bed. Just a few lines like:

“Aurora told her class you invented apples. Arnold tried to poop on me. I love you.”

☆ She began calling reminders out loud like an AI assistant. “Hey babe! You were going to fold the laundry! Or…was that past-you’s mistake?”

☆ Ellie bought you matching necklaces engraved with the kids’ initials—"A & A"—because she knew you’d keep misplacing the baby bag.

☆ When you cried over losing your car keys (which were in your hand), she cradled your face and whispered, “I’d forget my own name if you weren’t around to moan it.”

☆ She started calling baby brain “Mama PhD syndrome”—so it felt less like a flaw and more like some grand cosmic achievement.

☆ Ellie writes little affirmations in your notebooks like:

“You made Aurora. You made Arnold. You are literal magic. I’ll remember everything else for us.”

☆ She never lets you apologize for being forgetful. “You pushed out a kid and made milk. My brain would have exploded.”

☆ Ellie sometimes wears a pin on her cardigan that says: “Ask me about my sleep-deprived wife.”

☆ She draws stick figure comics of your day—like the time you put a diaper on backwards—just to make you laugh.

☆ She once caught you putting a bottle in the dryer and quietly walked over, replaced it with laundry, and kissed your cheek like it was completely normal.

☆ Ellie created a shared “baby survival” spreadsheet. Color-coded. With tabs like “Did I eat today?” and “Arnold’s poop log.”

☆ When you forget to eat, she sits you down on her lap, feeds you bites of toast like she’s the professor of nourishment.

☆ Ellie calls you “mama genius” ironically when you do silly things like put your keys in the fridge—always with a teasing grin and a soft kiss.

☆ She puts tiny hearts next to your to-do list items, especially the ones you keep forgetting. “Drink water, mama. For me.”

☆ Ellie started carrying a spare pacifier in her jacket pocket “just in case you forget his again—no shade.”

☆ She lets Aurora scold you gently. “Mama, you put Daddy’s lunch in the diaper pail again.” Ellie’s behind her, trying not to laugh.

☆ When you space out during a conversation, she touches your wrist gently and says, “Hey, come back to me, space cadet.”

☆ Ellie plays memory games with you—not to fix anything, but just to be close to you. “Okay, five things you touched in the last ten minutes. Go.”

☆ She started organizing your makeup by use frequency and labeled the drawers: “Stuff for when you care,” “Stuff for five-minute glam,” and “You’re hot no matter what.”

☆ Ellie bought you memory supplements and stuck them inside a chocolate bar wrapper so you’d actually take them.

☆ She made a “baby brain emergency” bag with chapstick, mints, cash, wipes, and a picture of the kids. It’s in her office.

☆ When you forgot where you parked, Ellie just quietly activated her phone tracker on your location and found you without judgment.

☆ Ellie installed a key tracker app and pretends it’s because she loses things too. (She doesn’t.)

☆ When you forgot to pack a bottle and panicked, Ellie offered you her office coffee mug. “It’s clean. It’s desperate times.”

☆ She started a bedtime routine where she lists all the things you did remember today. Even if it’s just: “You kissed Arnold. You said ‘I love you.’ You were patient.”

☆ Ellie kisses the inside of your wrist when you say “I’m sorry, I’m just so dumb lately.” She says, “You’re exhausted, not dumb. You’re brilliant. You’re mine.”

☆ She taught Aurora to give you a kiss when you look overwhelmed. “Kiss Mama’s forehead. That’s the reboot button.”

☆ Ellie wrote a journal titled “Things Reader Forgot That Made Me Love Her More.”

☆ When you forgot your coffee on top of the car and drove off, Ellie bought you a spill-proof cup and wrote “Reader’s Lifeline” on it in Sharpie.

☆ She sets gentle alarms on your phone named “You deserve a break” or “Stretch & hydrate, my love.”

☆ Ellie started doing baby signs with Arnold early so he could "help remind Mama" when he's hungry or needs a change.

☆ She learned how to tie your shoes one-handed for when you were holding Arnold and couldn’t bend down.

☆ Ellie whispers soft reminders into your neck when hugging you:

“Keys in your purse. Phone’s on the charger. You’re not alone in this.”

☆ She makes “proud of you” playlists for when you make it through the day without crying or forgetting Aurora’s lunch.

☆ Ellie sets the GPS for you automatically, even if it’s just to the grocery store. “Not because you can’t, but so you don’t have to.”

☆ She bakes your favorite muffins with little paper flags stuck in them that say things like: “Hot mom fuel” or “Memory boost: unlocked.”

☆ When you forgot your name at the pediatrician (true story), Ellie just smirked and said, “This is my wife. She's magic, just momentarily unplugged.”

☆ She always rubs your back in the kitchen when you’re staring at nothing. “Baby brain’s a bitch, huh? Good thing I’m here.”

☆ Ellie added an extra whiteboard in the hallway just for “Mama Notes” where she writes reminders, love notes, and cute drawings.

☆ She refuses to let you feel embarrassed around her. “You can forget everything but I’ll always remember who you are to me.”

☆ Ellie got Aurora to memorize your morning routine so she can bossily direct you through it. “Mama, brush your teeth. No, your toothbrush.”

☆ She bought you a necklace with Arnold’s birthstone and said, “Now you don’t have to remember. It’s always with you.”

☆ When you forgot to change out of your pajama top before going out, she just handed you a hoodie and winked. “Still hot.”

☆ Ellie created a memory jar labeled “Things You Did Right This Week.” She puts in notes when you’re asleep.

☆ She holds your hand tighter when she feels you spiraling. “One thing at a time, babe. Just one.”

☆ Ellie started sending you gentle check-in texts:

“Hey, love. Did you eat? Hydrate? Breathe?”

☆ She gives you small tasks, like folding a single onesie, and celebrates like you just aced an exam. “Ten outta ten, Professor Mama.”

☆ Ellie learned how to braid your hair so she can do it for you when you forget or don’t have the energy.

☆ When you accidentally called Aurora “Ellie,” she just laughed and said, “We’re both obsessed with you, so it tracks.”

☆ She bought you new glasses because she said, “You keep misplacing your brain, let’s at least help your eyes.”

☆ Ellie whispers “I got you” into your temple when you’re lost in a fog, grounding you like it’s instinct.

☆ She bought a wall calendar just to put gold stars on it for every good day you had. Even if it’s just “didn’t cry before 10am.”

☆ Ellie encourages you to nap and will lie beside you, watching over you like you’re the rarest research specimen she’s ever found.

☆ She plays memory-based games with Aurora and invites you to join, saying, “Let’s all forget things together.”

☆ When you forgot your name again, she just kissed your hand and said, “Doesn’t matter. You’re mine.”

☆ Ellie started carrying around a mini photo album of you and the kids and hands it to you when you feel overwhelmed. “Proof you’re doing it. All of it.”

☆ She gives you forehead kisses more often than usual—because she says it helps "charge your RAM."

☆ Most of all, Ellie never makes you feel like your forgetfulness is a burden. She makes it feel like just another part of loving and learning each other—just another thing she remembers how to hold, so you don’t have to.

Are you interested im doing something with the song she by tyler the creator ft Frank ocean?

Could be for ellie or abby, but its really giving dark vibes of lesbian yearning 😭

Thank you!

She - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! i am totally interested!! id write whatever you ask:) i went quite dark with this one... lmk if you want one with a happy ending:) i deadass got carried away with writing this lmao

this story is based off the song She by Tyler the Creator. If you can listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me songs or your silly ideas:)

HUGE WARNING: 18+ MDNI: Mentions of explicit sexual content (restraints, biting, choking, rough sex), obsession, psychological manipulation, mental deterioration, dubious/blurred consent in emotional and sexual contexts, Stockholm syndrome, stalking, kidnapping, murder, suicide, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, paranoia, delusions, violence

Summary: When Ellie starts watching her a little too closely, it’s hard to tell where curiosity ends and obsession begins. What begins as quiet glances and subtle tension quickly turns into something darker—something neither of them fully understands, but both feel deeply.

masterlist

This story contains dark and emotionally intense themes—please read with care. You are responsible for what you consume online. Please read the warnings before reading.

You moved into the safe zone two months ago. Quiet, kind, polite. You kept to yourself, helped at the medical tent, smiled when people passed. Ellie noticed you right away.

Not because you stood out—at least not to most. But Ellie saw the way your hands trembled slightly when you stitched a wound. How your eyes scanned the environment like you were waiting for someone to come back. Or leave.

She liked that.

She liked the way your window lit up at night, a soft amber glow behind sheer curtains. You read. Sometimes you cried. Once, you laughed—just once—and she pressed her forehead against her window across the alley and watched your lips form around a sentence. She imagined you reading to her. Her name in your mouth. Her name in your bed.

She told herself she was just watching. But then it became routine.

She started to learn the rhythm of your days. When you left. What time you came back. What you wore. What you ate. The exact second you turned off your lamp and slid under the covers. She’d stand in the shadows across the street, chewing on the skin of her thumb, eyes locked on that sliver of light between your curtains.

Ellie didn’t smile much anymore. Not unless she thought of you. And even then, it wasn’t a smile. It was something darker—sharper. Something that clenched her stomach like a fist and made her palms itch.

She wasn’t supposed to feel this way. You weren’t hers. But that didn’t stop her.

You first met her when she came in with a deep cut on her forearm. Self-stitched, jagged. Her expression unreadable.

“You should’ve come in earlier,” you told her, gently cleaning the wound. “This could’ve gotten infected.”

She just stared. “Didn’t want to waste your time.”

You paused. “You knew it would be me?”

Her jaw flexed. “Yeah.”

You smiled. Ellie didn’t.

But later that night, she traced the shape of your smile in the fogged glass of her bedroom window. Over and over until her finger bled from the cold.

Ellie started showing up more. Dropping off supplies. Asking if you needed help moving crates. Pretending to look for something just outside your tent.

“I heard you play guitar,” you said once, handing her a bandage kit. “Do you still?”

“Only in my head.”

You wanted to ask what that meant. But her eyes were dark that day. Watching you like she already had the answer.

You didn’t know she was in your hallway the night you cried into your pillow. That she sat just outside your door, back against the wood, fists clenched, listening.

You didn’t know she stole one of your gloves when it dropped outside the infirmary. That she kept it in her jacket pocket. That she touched it every time someone else looked at you too long.

You didn’t know you were the reason someone disappeared.

That guy—tall, arrogant, always flirting—he hadn’t shown up in over a week. No one knew where he went. Ellie did.

She watched him follow you to your door one night. Heard you laugh nervously when he touched your arm. Saw the way you recoiled when he leaned in too close.

Ellie followed him into the woods the next day. Said nothing. Did what she had to.

For you.

One night, you came home late. The infirmary was overwhelmed. Blood on your shirt. You were tired, broken, still so beautiful. Ellie watched you through the crack in your curtain.

She saw you undress.

Saw your bare skin in that soft yellow light. Saw you pause in front of the mirror, fingertips grazing your ribs like you didn’t recognize yourself.

Ellie’s breath hitched. Her hand trembled. She pressed it to the windowpane like she could reach through.

You looked sad. You looked lonely. You looked like you needed someone.

Her.

The first time you saw her watching, it wasn’t on purpose.

You pulled your curtain aside to close the window and there she was—across the alley, standing in the dark. Still. Unmoving. Eyes glowing faintly under the porch light.

You froze. She didn’t.

She just tilted her head. Slowly. Like a predator curious if its prey would run.

You didn’t.

You closed the curtain. Heart pounding. Skin hot. You should’ve been afraid.

But you weren’t.

Ellie showed up the next morning like nothing happened. Gave you a thermos of coffee. Smiled—for the first time. You stared at her fingers as they brushed yours. Cold. Calloused. Familiar. You let her in that day.

She sat in your chair. Looked at your books. Touched the necklace on your shelf like she already knew its weight.

“You’ve been watching me,” you said, not a question.

Ellie blinked. “Yeah.”

You swallowed. “Why?”

She stood up. Walked toward you. Stopped just short of touching.

“Because I love you.”

You should’ve laughed. Should’ve run. Should’ve screamed.

But all you said was: “Since when?”

Ellie’s voice dropped. “Since the first time you turned on that fucking light.”

You kissed her. You didn’t mean to. Or maybe you did. Maybe you were just as broken.

It was desperate. All teeth and breath and guilt. She gripped your waist like she was afraid you’d disappear. You gripped her jaw like you wanted to know her shape from the inside out.

It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t sweet.

It was dangerous. But it felt like breathing after drowning.

Now she’s in your bed almost every night.

She never stays till morning. Always slips out before the sun rises, back to her shadows, back to her window.nBut her scent lingers on your sheets.

And when you close your eyes, you feel her watching.

And when you open them, she’s there. She always is.

The first time you tried to distance yourself, Ellie didn’t speak.

You had turned to her in bed, barely whispering, “I think I need space.”

Your voice cracked. You hated how small it sounded.

Ellie didn’t flinch. Didn’t argue. Just nodded. Kissed your shoulder and slipped out like always. But that night, your window stayed open.

She didn’t watch you through it. She was already inside.

She started leaving things in your house. Quietly, deliberately. A book you mentioned once—resting on your nightstand. Her hoodie folded on the arm of your couch. A note in your handwriting that you didn’t remember writing.

“You miss me.”

You found it under your pillow.

Your hands trembled as you stared at it. You told yourself you were imagining things. You told yourself it was just coincidence. You told yourself Ellie wouldn't do that.

But deep down, you knew better.

People started asking if you and Ellie were together. You always paused too long before answering. Smiled too tightly. Said, “It’s complicated.”

Ellie never used that word. She said, “She’s mine.”

She wasn’t just watching anymore.

She was following.

You’d leave work and catch a flicker of her hoodie in the crowd. You’d step outside at night and feel her behind you. You’d dream of her fingers wrapped around your wrist, yanking you back into her.

One night, you turned the corner too fast and slammed into her chest. She didn’t apologize.

Her hands gripped your arms.

“I didn’t know you were—” you started.

“Yes, you did,” she said. Her voice was a blade.

You didn’t move. Neither did she.

The tension curled around your throat like smoke. You wanted to run. You wanted to stay. You wanted her to tear you apart.

Inside her mind, it only made sense:

She knew what you liked. What you feared. What you needed.

She could protect you. She could fix the ache inside your chest.

You just had to stop pretending you didn’t feel it too.

You were hers. You just didn’t understand it yet.

Ellie started keeping a journal. It wasn’t full of words. Just drawings.

Of you.

Sleeping. Smiling. Naked. Crying.

Sometimes she’d draw herself with you—your hand in hers, your head on her chest. But always, always, your eyes were closed.

She liked it better that way.

When another woman tried to flirt with you at the market, Ellie was there before you could even react. Just a shadow beside your shoulder.

“She’s not interested,” Ellie said, low and cold.

You touched her wrist. “Ellie, stop—”

The woman blinked at her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

Ellie didn’t respond. Just stared. Long enough to make her leave. Long enough to make her afraid.

Later, Ellie brushed your hair off your cheek and whispered, “You don’t need anyone else.”

You didn’t answer. Because part of you agreed.

You started hearing her voice even when she wasn’t there.

Soft murmurs at the edge of your consciousness. A whisper behind your ear.

“You’re mine.”

You looked over your shoulder constantly. Not because you were scared. But because you hoped it was her.

One night, you confronted her. “Are you watching me when I sleep?”

Ellie didn’t lie.

“Yes.”

Your throat tightened. “Why?”

She stepped forward. Her hands cradled your jaw like you were something fragile—something sacred.

“Because it’s the only time you’re honest.”

You shuddered. “That’s not love.”

Ellie’s eyes flashed. “No. It’s more than that.”

She started sleeping on your floor.

Didn’t ask. Just curled up on the rug like a stray wolf. Eyes closed, but never fully asleep. You stepped over her on the way to the bathroom and felt her fingers brush your ankle.

You didn’t stop her. You didn’t speak.

You just left the door unlocked. Every night.

Eventually, your light never turned off.

You didn’t pull the curtains anymore. You let her see.

Because pretending you weren’t hers felt worse than giving in.

And the worst part? You started watching her too.

You counted her steps. You tracked her breath.

You studied the scars on her knuckles and the cracks in her voice when she said your name.

You wanted her under your skin, even when it hurt. Especially when it hurt.

It wasn’t love. It wasn’t sane. It wasn’t safe.

But it was real.

And in this world, that was all you had.

The cabin was two hours from the nearest town.

You didn’t remember falling asleep in the car. You didn’t remember agreeing to come.

You just remembered Ellie’s voice: “There’s too many people around you. Too many eyes.”

She made it sound like love. And you were so tired of fighting.

You woke up wrapped in thick blankets. The fire crackled low. Rain tapped against the window like a pulse.

And Ellie was already watching.

She sat in the rocking chair, legs spread wide, one hand curled beneath her chin. The other rested on her thigh.

“You’re safe now,” she said.

You sat up slowly, brain hazy. “Where are we?”

“Somewhere they can’t reach you.”

You should have run. Instead, you pulled the blanket tighter. And whispered, “Okay.”

The first few days felt like a dream. A stillness you didn’t realize you craved. Ellie chopped wood outside shirtless, sweat glistening down her spine. She cooked, fed you, fixed the fire. She moved like a soldier, like a lover, like something primal that found peace only when she could watch you.

“Do you hate it here?” she asked one night. You shook your head.

Because here, she didn’t have to hide what she was. And neither did you.

She kissed you after dinner. Hard. Possessive.

You tasted desperation in it—an edge like she was afraid you’d disappear mid-kiss. Her hands slid under your thighs, lifting you effortlessly onto the counter. The plates clattered. You didn’t care.

“Tell me you’re mine,” she growled against your throat.

You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Your head lolled back as her hand slid up your shirt, gripping your breast with a brutal need.

“Say it.”

“I’m yours,” you gasped. It felt like a vow.

That night, she took you.

Face pressed into the mattress. Hands pinned above your head. Her mouth feverish on your skin, trailing teeth and tongue in frantic worship. Every thrust came with a litany—Mine. Mine. Mine.—punctuated by bruises blooming under her fingertips.

You came with a scream you didn’t recognize. You came again, sobbing her name.

And when it was over, she curled around you like armor.

Whispered, “I won’t let anyone take you from me.”

You didn’t reply. Because you didn’t want to leave.

Days blurred.

Ellie read to you, bathed you, watched you sleep. She didn’t let you touch the keys. Didn’t let you wander past the woods.

“It’s not safe,” she’d repeat. “People lie. I don’t.”

You believed her. Or you needed to believe her.

One night, she tied your wrists with her belt. Not out of cruelty.

But because you asked her to.

Because your mind was starting to slip too—spiraling in on itself like hers.

“I want to feel it,” you whispered. “What it’s like to be… owned.”

Something in Ellie snapped. She fucked you on the floor. Face flushed, voice shaking. She held your chin and made you watch her as you came. Over and over.

“You’re not leaving,” she told you afterward. You smiled, dazed.

“Why would I?”

You found her journal. Pages filled with you—sketches, fantasies, maps of your body. But also lists. Daydreams:

"Her in a collar"

"Me watching her sleep, knife under the pillow"

"Keep her full. Keep her scared. Keep her close"

"Fuck her in front of a mirror until she can’t tell who she is anymore"

You should’ve been afraid. But instead, you wrote your name in the margin next to hers.

By the second week, you stopped asking when you’d go back.

By the third, you stopped wondering who you used to be.

You were hers now. And worse?

She was yours.

Because obsession, when shared, is just another kind of love.

You don’t know how long you’ve been in the cabin.

Days feel like water slipping through your fingers. You forget what month it is. Sometimes Ellie forgets your name. But you always know hers.

She carved it into the headboard, right above where she made you hers. She whispers it into your skin every night like a ritual. She branded it into your bones.

Ellie.

She watches you brush your hair. Stares like she’s never seen a woman before. Like you’re some phantom that might slip through the cracks if she blinks too long.

“I think I’d kill someone for you,” she says one morning.

You don’t flinch. You smile.

“Who?”

She doesn’t answer. But that night, there’s blood under her fingernails.

You break first. It happens slowly—your grip on reality softens like wet paper.

You cry when your reflection doesn’t smile back. You scream at the storm outside like it’s mocking you. You bite down on Ellie’s arm while she’s fucking you because you need to feel something real.

She doesn’t punish you. She moans.

Ellie starts hearing things.

She locks the door even when no one’s around. She kisses you with a hand on your throat now, like she’s making sure you don’t lie. You find notes stuffed in her boots:

“She’s slipping. She’s forgetting me. I’ll make her remember.”

You don’t tell her you read them. Instead, you leave one of your own:

“If I forget you, kill me.”

The next time she fucks you, it’s on the front porch. Naked. In the cold. Rain on your bare chest. She wants the world to see—wants the sky to know you’re hers. You ride her with your hands knotted in her hair, blood dripping from your lip where she bit you. You come like you’re trying to leave your body behind. She drags you back in with her mouth.

You stop caring about survival.

You drink wine for breakfast. You forget how to spell your last name. You tell Ellie she’s inside your lungs and she kisses your ribs like that’ll keep her there.

“I want to die here,” you say one night.

She presses her forehead to yours.

“We already did.”

There’s no mirror in the bedroom anymore.

You smashed it after Ellie asked, “Do you still recognize yourself?”

You didn’t.

You don’t.

And that was the point.

The last time you go outside, it’s because Ellie begs you to. She wants to show you something—this twisted, gorgeous mural she painted in the barn. It's all you.

Your eyes. Your mouth. Your cunt, over and over, blooming like some unholy flower.

“It’s worship,” she says.

You drop to your knees and lick the paint off her fingers.

There’s no turning back.

Not now. Not when the lines between captor and captive, lover and lunatic, have blurred past meaning.

You are two sides of the same sickness now.

Two gods of one deranged altar.

Two corpses in one grave, still moving, still wanting.

You kiss her like drowning. She holds you like possession.

And when the world finally forgets you exist— You are relieved.

The cabin is quiet. Too quiet.

Ellie hasn’t spoken in two days. Not really. She hums to herself, sometimes, drawing you in her sketchbook over and over until the pages wrinkle under the pressure of her pencil.

You ask what she’s thinking.

She just looks up and says, “You’re so quiet when you sleep.”

Like that answers anything. Like that means everything.

That night, she takes you to bed like it’s the last time. She’s soft with you. Gentle, even.

Kisses your eyelids, your palms, your knees. Cradles your hips like she’s trying to memorize their weight. She doesn’t fuck you like she wants to own you—she fucks you like she’s already lost you.

You cry. She doesn’t ask why.

When you wake up, the gun is on the pillow. It’s cleaned.

Oiled. Loaded.

And next to it is her final drawing: the two of you under the covers, a red thread wrapped around your throats, knotted into a bow at the center.

Underneath, she’s written: If we can’t live like this, we don’t live at all.

You find her on the floor, knees tucked under her like a child. She’s holding a second pistol, one she probably stole months ago.

When she looks at you, she doesn’t smile. She just says, “Will you let me do it?”

You nod.

Because that’s love, too. Trusting someone to end you.

She holds you in her lap, like a lullaby. One hand buried in your hair, the other on your pulse. You breathe together.

You’re not afraid. Not anymore.

“I love you,” you whisper.

Ellie kisses your temple.

“I know.”

The first shot rings out, and the birds fly from the trees.

The second shot follows, echoing through the forest like a vow.

And then— Nothing.

When they find the bodies, you're curled together, as if sleeping.

No notes. No names. Just each other.

Forever.

girlfriend - ellie williams x reader

this story is based off the song boyfriend by ariana grande, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie williams x reader

Setting: Modern College AU

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts:)

Warnings: Emotional angst, mutual jealousy, slow-burn tension, internal conflict, drinking, makeout scenes (no explicit smut)

Summary: In a broken world, Ellie Williams becomes the one constant — protective, intense, and impossible to ignore. Their bond is complicated, but it’s all they have.

Masterlist

Ellie’s hoodie still smelled like her shampoo. You knew that because you were still wearing it, weeks after she left it on your dorm bed like it didn’t mean anything.

But it did. Of course it did.

She knew it.

You knew it.

It was the only thing either of you seemed to know for sure.

You weren’t dating.

You didn’t kiss in public, didn’t hold hands, didn’t label anything. She didn’t ask you not to see other people—but she acted like you betrayed her if you did. You weren’t hers.

But she looked at you like she hated the thought of you belonging to anyone else.

Tonight, that look was on full display.

The party was packed. Bodies pressed too close in the too-small off-campus house, and you were perched on the arm of a couch beside some guy—Kieran?—laughing because he was charming and tall and most importantly, not Ellie.

She watched you from the kitchen, beer in hand, jaw clenched so tight you thought it might crack. You saw it in the way her knuckles whitened around the bottle. In how she ignored the pretty brunette trying to flirt with her.

You knew that look. You’d seen it in the mirror.

Kieran leaned closer, his hand resting casually on your thigh. “You’ve got that look in your eye.”

You blinked. “What look?”

“Like you’re trying not to look at someone.”

Your lips parted, but you didn’t deny it. Just glanced—briefly, too briefly—toward the kitchen. Ellie was gone.

You found her later. Out back on the steps, hoodie over her head, cigarette lit between her fingers—something she only did when she was pissed or spiraling. Maybe both.

“You’re mad,” you said.

Ellie didn’t look at you. “Didn’t know we were playing the jealousy game tonight.”

“We’re not.”

She exhaled smoke, bitter and sharp. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Could say the same about you. Who was the girl in the kitchen?”

She smirked, humorless. “Didn’t catch her name. Didn’t matter.”

Your stomach twisted. “You’re such a hypocrite.”

“So are you,” she said, finally looking at you. “You sit there smiling like you’re in love with him, but you still wear my fucking clothes.”

The silence cracked.

You stepped forward. She didn’t move.

“You left that hoodie on purpose,” you said.

“Maybe I did.”

You were close now—close enough to hear her breath hitch.

“Why do you keep doing this?”

“Because I don’t know how not to want you.”

It felt like a confession, and you hated how badly you wanted to believe it.

It became a pattern. Nights out turned into emotional warfare. You flirted with people you didn’t care about. Ellie showed up with girls she never looked twice at. You exchanged long, loaded glances across crowded rooms.

Neither of you made a move.

Until the night you almost did.

It was late, the party thinning out. You found her alone in someone’s guest room, sitting on the bed with her head in her hands.

“You okay?” you asked.

She looked up, eyes bloodshot. “No.”

You didn’t say anything. Just sat beside her. Your thighs touched. She didn’t move away.

“I hate it,” she whispered. “Seeing you with someone else.”

You swallowed. “Then stop pretending you don’t care.”

“I can’t be with you,” she said, voice cracking. “But I don’t want you with anyone else either.”

Your breath caught. “That’s not fair.”

“I know.”

Then she kissed you.

It wasn’t gentle. It was desperate, aching, teeth and tongue and every word left unsaid. Your hands in her hair, hers on your hips, pulling you close, closer, too close—

Then she pulled back. “Fuck. I shouldn’t have done that.”

And just like that, she was gone again.

Weeks passed. You stopped texting. She stopped showing up. The hoodie stayed folded at the bottom of your drawer.

But you still saw her.

In the way your phone lit up at 2 AM with her name and no message.

In the missed glances across campus.

In the way she looked at you like she was drowning every time someone else touched your arm.

The last straw came during a house party in the city.

You were tipsy. Daring. Reckless. You kissed someone in front of her.

She left without a word.

You chased her outside. Rain had started to fall, light but cold.

“Ellie!” you called. “Wait—”

She turned. Her hair was damp, her eyes furious. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t know!” you shouted. “I want—I want you to stop pretending like I don’t matter!”

“You matter,” she said, voice low, trembling. “You matter too fucking much.”

And then she kissed you again. This time slower. Angrier. Sadder.

Like a goodbye. But you didn’t let go.

You ended up at her apartment, clothes wet and clinging, hands tangled in each other like lifelines. She pushed you against the door, forehead resting against yours.

“You drive me insane,” she whispered.

“Then let me drive you insane forever.”

She didn’t answer with words. Just held you like she was terrified you’d disappear.

Later, tangled in her sheets, half dressed and heart aching, you whispered:

“This can’t just be nothing anymore.”

Ellie looked at you, green eyes soft for once.

“It’s not,” she said. “It’s never been.”

High enough by k.flay is sooo obsessive ellie with a reader who doesnt know she exists but gets mad when jesse or dina warn her about ellies behaviour

high enough- ellie williams x reader

hi anon! thank you requesting this!! I'm so suprised ive never heard of this song. This is so obsessive ellie coded. I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song High enough by K Flay, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: obsession

Summary: In which you wanted her

Masterlist

You’d only been in Jackson a month when you first saw her.

She stood out—sharp jaw, freckled face, an intensity in her green eyes that made your chest clench. You noticed her on the patrol schedule, but she never said much. Just stared.

Sometimes you’d look up and catch her watching you across the dining hall. Not smiling. Just... looking.

It gave you chills. Not fear exactly—just something too heavy to name.

You didn’t know her name then. You would later.

“Hey,” Jesse said, sliding onto the bench beside you. “Word of advice?”

You blinked. “Yeah?”

He glanced over his shoulder, then leaned in. “Stay away from Ellie.”

You laughed, confused. “What? I don’t even know her.”

He didn’t laugh back. “Good. Keep it that way.”

You frowned. “Why?”

“She doesn’t… do normal. Gets fixated. You don’t want that kind of attention.”

You rolled your eyes. “Is this some protective crap? I can handle myself.”

Jesse sighed and left it alone. But he wasn’t the only one.

Later, Dina caught you patching up a horse near the stables.

“You seen Ellie around?” you asked casually.

Dina froze for a second too long.

“Why?”

You shrugged. “She keeps popping up. Figured I’d say hi.”

Dina stepped closer. “Don’t.”

Your brow furrowed. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“She gets obsessed,” Dina said flatly. “And you—you don’t see it. That’s how it starts.”

You crossed your arms. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know her,” Dina said. “And she’ll chew you up.”

You didn’t listen. Because Ellie started showing up more.

Always just… there.

When you were in the garden, she’d pass by. When you went for patrol, somehow your name ended up paired with hers. Once, when a gate latch broke and you slipped, she was there—grabbing your wrist so fast you didn’t even hit the ground.

“You okay?” she asked, voice low and steady.

You nodded, stunned.

And when you looked up, her face was too close. Eyes full of something unreadable.

“Don’t scare me like that,” she muttered. Then walked off.

Your stomach flipped.

You were starting to dream about her now. Waking up with her name on your lips.

You didn’t see the danger—not really.

Not until she showed up at your cabin at midnight.

You cracked the door open. She stood on the porch, hoodie soaked from the rain, hands clenched.

“Ellie?”

“I heard you were with Jesse,” she said, no greeting, no smile.

“What?”

“At the bar. You were laughing. He touched your arm.”

You stared. “So?”

“So you’re mine.”

You blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I mean—fuck,” she hissed, dragging a hand through her hair. “I just—I see you. All the time. And it’s like I can’t breathe when you look at anyone else.”

You took a step back. “Ellie, we’re not even—”

“I know,” she snapped. “But I watch you and I know things Jesse doesn’t. Dina doesn’t. I see you.”

She stepped inside without asking, closing the door behind her.

“I can’t get high enough to not feel you,” she whispered. “You don’t even know I exist and it’s driving me insane.”

You stood frozen as she stepped closer.

“Do you want me to go?” she asked, voice trembling. “Tell me. I’ll go.”

You should’ve said yes.

But you didn’t.

You reached up, touched her jaw. And when she kissed you, it was feverish. Messy. Desperate.

Like she’d been dying for this. Like you were air.

You were hers after that. Not officially. Not publicly.

But in the ways that mattered.

Ellie’s hands on your hips. Her breath on your neck. Her knife tucked in your bag when she thought you’d forgotten one. Her voice soft in your ear—“Don’t ever leave without telling me.”

When Jesse looked at you too long, she knocked over his drink and didn’t apologize.

When Dina gave you that look—worry, warning—Ellie cornered her outside and came back with blood on her knuckles.

“You’re scaring people,” you said one night, whispering into her skin.

“I don’t care,” she murmured, pulling you tighter. “Let them be scared. You’re mine.”

It wasn’t until you caught her in your room—reading your journal—that it really hit you.

“Ellie?”

She didn’t even flinch. Just looked up with that same calm obsession.

“You wrote about me,” she said.

You stared. “That doesn’t mean you can—”

“I just wanted to know how you see me,” she said softly. “I think about you every second. I needed to know if it was mutual.”

Your chest ached.

It was mutual. That was the worst part.

You’d fallen for a storm in human form.

You stopped asking questions. Let her in.

Let her love you like wildfire—burning, dangerous, beautiful.

You knew it wasn’t healthy. Knew people whispered.

But when her arms wrapped around you, when she kissed you like you were the only thing that kept her sane—

—it didn’t matter.

Because you weren’t high enough to care.

your best friend- ellie williams x reader

no one requested this lol, i just liked the song... do yall want me to make a spotify playlist off all the songs i've written about?

This story is based off the song your best friend by Kiana Lede, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: emotional cheating

Summary: in which you wished ellie wasn't dating your best friend

Masterlist

Ellie never planned to fall in love with you.

She always said your laugh was addictive. Always told Dina that you were “a good one” — loyal, grounded, funny. The kind of person who didn’t start shit, who didn’t push boundaries.

But that’s the problem, isn’t it?

You didn’t push the boundary.

Ellie did. And you let her.

It started with late-night walks through Jackson. Dina would stay behind to clean up or rest from patrol. You and Ellie would wander, shoulders brushing, voices soft, dancing around the things you never said.

It continued with touches that lingered — a hand at your waist that stayed too long. A look that lasted one second too much. Her compliments growing too precise. Yours returning just as sharp.

You told yourself: I would never betray her.

And Ellie told herself: I would never act on it.

But both of you were liars.

One night, while Dina slept upstairs, you and Ellie were in the kitchen, whispering about dumb shit, faces inches apart. You’d just said something funny, and she laughed — full and rare — and then she looked at you like she wanted to ruin everything. You saw it coming.

You didn’t stop it.

The kiss was slow, scared — like both of you knew you’d just ripped something open you couldn’t close.

“I’m sorry,” Ellie whispered, lips still brushing yours.

“No, you’re not.”

And you were right.

Guilt became your second skin.

You smiled in front of Dina. You helped her chop vegetables for dinner, listened to her talk about the new recruits, helped her clean out the horse stables.

But you couldn’t stop thinking about Ellie’s hands under your shirt two nights ago, the way she kept saying “fuck, I shouldn’t” while she didn’t stop.

You weren’t proud. But god, it felt real.

You hated yourself for loving it.

One evening, after too much whiskey, Ellie sat on your porch with red eyes.

“I can’t lie to her forever.”

“Then don’t,” you said. “End it. Or stop this.”

Ellie looked at you, jaw tight. “I don’t know how to stop.”

You both sat there in silence. You didn’t know either.

Dina found out in spring.

You never knew how much Ellie told her, but the fallout was brutal. Dina slammed the front door, threw Ellie’s jacket across the porch, and didn’t speak to you for a month.

Ellie moved out of their house.

She stayed in one of the abandoned cabins by the trees, didn’t talk to anyone for days.

You visited once, stood outside her door. “Ellie, say something.”

“I’m a fucking coward,” came her voice. “Don’t come back.”

You left.

But you didn’t stop loving her.

Time passed.

The pain dulled, but it never left. People stopped looking at you like you were contagious. Dina started laughing again, even made peace with you one afternoon when she found you alone by the stables.

“I’m not ready to forgive you,” she said. “But I know you loved her. That’s worse.”

You nodded. Because it was true.

Ellie stayed distant for months.

Then one day, you found a note slipped under your door.

“I’m still in love with you.

-E"

You found her at the lake, sitting on the edge of the dock, legs dangling in the water.

She didn’t look at you as you sat beside her.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” she said quietly.

“I almost didn’t,” you replied. “But I never stopped loving you either.”

She finally turned to face you — eyes green and heavy with regret.

“I ruined everything,” Ellie said.

“You broke her heart,” you agreed. “And mine. But I let you.”

Silence again.

Then: “Do you think we can try again? For real this time?”

You breathed out slowly. “Only if we stop lying. To everyone. To ourselves.”

Ellie nodded. “I want to love you right this time.”

It wasn’t perfect.

People judged. Dina kept her distance. Some friendships faded. But you and Ellie stood in it — the mess, the guilt, the consequences.

You built something real from the wreckage.

The touches became open. The glances weren’t stolen. Her hand on yours at the bar felt proud now. You kissed in daylight.

Sometimes, she still looked sad — when she remembered what she lost. What she broke.

But when she looked at you, there was love. Raw, honest, painful — but whole.

One night, in your shared bed, she whispered, “You’re not her best friend anymore.”

You smiled, touched her jaw. “No. I’m yours.”

I cant stop thinking about dark desperate ex gf ellie who broke up with you for cat a few years ago but now is knee deep in love and keeps trying to manipulate your relationship with your gf (jesse and dina try to stop her but... Young love what can we do)

Knee deep - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! I really like this idea... I lowkey wanna make a part 2 to this... i hope you enjoy:)

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: Emotional manipulation, toxic behaviors, mention of infidelity (emotional), angst-heavy, complex feelings, swearing.

Summary: In which ellie wanted you back

Masterlist

Ellie Williams wasn’t supposed to come back. Not after what she did.

You’d built a life—steady, slow, whole—without her. Two years since she left you for Cat. Two years of grief, resentment, quiet rebuilding. Two years of convincing yourself that her absence was your freedom.

Now she stood outside the Tipsy Bison, a cigarette twitching between her fingers, hood up, green eyes tracking you like a mark.

“Hey,” she said when you stepped outside, your name low and husky on her tongue like a secret. “Been a while.”

Your stomach twisted. You hadn’t seen that face in two years—only through half-memories and the hollow ache of dreams you refused to admit you had. She still looked the same. Tired. Dangerous. Beautiful in a way that only hurt now.

You didn’t answer.

Ellie took a drag and blew out a slow breath. “You gonna ignore me forever?”

You wanted to. God, you wanted to.

But something about the way she said it—like she already knew you wouldn’t—cracked the surface.

“What do you want, Ellie?”

She shrugged like she didn’t already have a thousand motives stitched beneath her skin. “I just wanted to see you. Thought we could talk.”

You gave her a hard look. “After two years?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “After two years.”

Jesse didn’t believe it. Dina was pissed. Even Maria—who didn’t usually let things shake her—grew cold the moment Ellie’s name passed through your lips.

“She’s back?” Maria asked, arms crossed as she leaned against the kitchen counter, lips tight. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” you answered, which wasn’t a lie. Not really.

“She’s dangerous,” Dina added, always the realist. “Not in the ‘gonna hurt you physically’ way. In the ‘gonna pull your brain apart thread by thread’ way.”

You told yourself they were being dramatic. That you were stronger now. That Ellie couldn’t touch you anymore.

But then she started showing up.

Once at the diner where you worked—ordering coffee she never drank. Once near your cabin, claiming she “just happened to be walking by.” And once, late at night, waiting on your porch with a bottle of whiskey and a sad, slanted smile.

You didn’t let her in. Not that night.

The day she finally got to you was rainy. Thunder hung in the distance, and Cat was away on patrol. You’d been in the garden, hands dirty, hair damp, when Ellie showed up at the gate like a ghost resurrected.

“You still wear that necklace I gave you,” she said, voice soft and surprised.

You looked down. A slip of silver tucked beneath your shirt. You’d forgotten it was there. It pissed you off that she noticed. Pissed you off more that you hadn’t taken it off.

You wanted to tell her to leave, but she just kept going.

“I fucked up,” she whispered. “I thought Cat was… I don’t know. Simpler. Safer. But it was never like it was with you.”

You rolled your eyes, wiping mud on your pants. “You’re two years too late.”

“Are you happy?” she asked suddenly referring to the girl you had recently started dating.

Her name was Daisy. She was perfect, she gave you everything Ellie didn't. But you didn't love her like you loved Ellie.

No one could compare to Ellie.

The question landed like a gut punch. You weren’t expecting it. She leaned in then, crowding your space, eyes glassy and searching.

“Does she make you feel the way I did?”

You stared at her. “She doesn’t make me feel like shit. That’s the difference.”

Ellie flinched, and for a moment, you felt victorious.

But then she laughed—low, bitter. “You say that, but you’re not pushing me away.”

You did, then. Shoved her back with dirt-caked fingers and slammed the gate shut.

The problem was—Ellie didn’t stop.

She started leaving things. A drawing of you from memory, folded neatly in your mailbox. A song on a tape labeled "for the nights you still think of me." A note under your door that said, “She doesn’t know you like I do. She never will.”

You told yourself you hated it. You told yourself it was manipulation. You weren’t wrong. But you also didn’t tell Daisy.

The tension grew like a weed.

Daisy sensed it. Of course she did. She wasn’t stupid.

“You’ve been weird lately,” she said one night, her voice clipped. “Distant.”

You looked down at your hands. “Just tired.”

“You’re not still hung up on her, are you?”

Silence.

“Jesus,” Daisy muttered. “You are.”

“It’s not like that,” you insisted, even though it was exactly like that. Ellie was a wound that never fully healed. Just scarred over enough to convince you it had.

Daisy stood up, disgusted. “She left you. She replaced you. And now she comes back and suddenly you’re forgetting everything we’ve built?”

You didn’t answer.

Because Ellie had taken up space in your mind again. And you were letting her.

The night it all boiled over, the power had gone out.

A storm swept through Jackson and left the town flickering in candlelight. You were alone in your cabin when a knock hit your door. Slow. Measured.

You knew it was her.

Ellie didn’t wait to be invited. She stepped in, soaked to the bone, hair plastered to her forehead, and eyes wild with something between hope and desperation.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” she whispered. “Every time I close my eyes, it’s you. It’s always been you.”

You backed away, heart hammering. “You left me.”

“I know,” she said, voice breaking. “I was scared. I didn’t know how to love you the right way.”

“And now you do?”

She walked closer. “Now I’d rather fuck it up trying than live without you.”

You hated how your knees weakened. Hated how she knew just what to say.

“This is wrong,” you said.

“But it feels right,” she countered, and then she kissed you.

It was lightning in the bloodstream. Familiar. Addictive. Toxic.

And you kissed her back. Only for a moment.

Then you shoved her away. “I can’t do this.”

Ellie’s expression shattered. “You still love me.”

You hesitated. Then: “That’s not the point.”

The next day, you told Daisy everything.

It ended in shouting. Slamming doors. Tears. She left. Said she needed time.

And you stood in the wreckage, heart hollow, stomach twisted with guilt and something uglier: relief.

Ellie showed up that night. Like she knew.

“I heard,” she said, leaning against your porch railing. “You told her.”

You didn’t reply.

Ellie smiled, and it wasn’t kind. It was something darker. Hungrier.

“Guess it’s just us now.”

PLEASE continue ‘her sweet girl’ but make it where Ellie sees the reader with another person and loses it😢

Her Sweet Girl Part 2/2 - ellie williams x reader

Hi anon! I really had so many ideas for part 2, maybe i should make this a series??? I hope you enjoy!!

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: toxic relationships

Summary: in which you had enough

masterlist

part 1

Ellie wasn’t looking for you. Not really. She’d said she needed air, mumbled something to Dina, shrugged on her jacket like it didn’t matter. Like you didn’t matter.

But she was lying.

She always ends up where you are, even if it hurts. Maybe especially when it hurts.

She spots you across the street near the stables—laughing. That laugh she used to pull from you with nothing but a dumb smirk and a too-obvious comment. Now it’s aimed at someone else. A girl with soft eyes and hands that brush yours like it’s easy to touch you. Like it’s allowed.

Ellie freezes. Then burns.

You’re smiling. Really smiling. And worse—you’re letting her touch you. Her fingers graze your wrist, and you don’t flinch, don’t yank away, don’t do anything.

Ellie’s jaw tightens. She’s already crossing the street before her mind catches up.

You don’t notice her until she’s close—too close—and suddenly your smile is gone.

The other girl glances up, startled, and Ellie doesn’t even look at her. She’s locked on you like you’re the only oxygen she knows how to breathe.

“What the fuck is this?” she spits, low and sharp.

You stiffen. “Ellie—don’t.”

The other girl opens her mouth, but Ellie finally turns, snarling, “I don’t remember talking to you.”

“Ellie, stop,” you snap, stepping between them.

She laughs—empty and wounded. “Right. Of course. Gotta defend your new girl, huh?”

“She’s not—” you start, but Ellie’s already unraveling.

“Is that all it takes? A few dumb jokes and someone who actually sticks around?” Her voice cracks, and she hates herself for it. "i thought you loved me"

“I did,” you whisper. “I do. But you keep leaving, Ellie. And coming back like I’m just supposed to wait.”

Ellie flinches like you slapped her. “You were supposed to wait,” she says, almost childlike.

Silence chokes the air between you.

“I’m not yours anymore,” you say, and you sound so tired.

But Ellie steps forward anyway, eyes wild and aching. “Yes, you are.”

You shake your head, but she’s already cupping your cheek—roughly, desperately—and her voice is barely above a whisper now.

“Please. Don’t make me watch you with someone else. Don’t—don’t do that to me.”

And it’s there, that Ellie-thing you used to know. The trembling lip. The stubborn tears. The girl who would rather tear the whole world apart than let herself be left behind again.

“Come home with me,” she says.

And you hate her for it. Because you’re going to say yes.

<3

Ellie Williams x BPD! Reader please 🙏

Split Edges - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! i hope you enjoy:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: Intense emotional themes, self-sabotage, swearing, dark thoughts, panic attacks, co-dependency, manipulation, and one shocking betrayal

Summary: in which you needed help

masterlist

“I’m sorry I go from loving you to hating you in minutes.

I’m sorry I can’t tell what’s real.

I just don’t want to lose you.”

Ellie met you when she was at her worst.

And you?

You were a wildfire in human skin.

Charming one second. Distant the next.

Your moods didn’t shift—they switched. On and off. Light and dark.

And Ellie, for all her trauma-hardened edges, found herself drawn in.

You saw her, truly saw her. Not as a weapon or a survivor.

But as someone worth loving. That scared her.

But not as much as how fast she fell.

You loved hard. That’s the thing no one tells you about BPD.

It’s not drama—it’s devotion.

When Ellie laughed, it filled every empty part of you. When she touched your hand, it was like being stitched back together.

But the fear was always there.

She could leave.

And if she left, you’d unravel. So you tried to hold tighter. Love harder. Be perfect.

But no one can be perfect forever.

Ellie started pulling away after you had your first episode in front of her. You saw her glance at someone else for half a second too long.

Your stomach dropped.

Your heart snapped.

“You’re bored of me,” you said. “You’re already looking for someone else.”

“What?” she laughed, confused. “I just asked them for extra ammo—”

“No,” you snapped. “I saw you.”

The fight lasted hours. You cried. Screamed. Threw your knife into the wall.

Ellie didn’t leave.

But she didn’t touch you either.

And that’s when you knew:

She was starting to fear you.

And that made you hate yourself.

So you punished yourself. Silently. The way you always did.

But Ellie noticed the new scar.

One night, she sat across from you, voice low.

“I want to be with you,” she said. “But not like this. You have to get help.”

“I am help,” you hissed. “I’m the only one who’s stayed.”

“You love me so much you’re destroying me.”

That shut you up.

Because maybe she was right.

So you made her a promise: you’d try.

You’d get better.

For her.

And for a while, you did.

You journaled. You started meds. You smiled more. You apologized when you snapped instead of vanishing for days.

Ellie let her walls down again.

And things were good. Too good.

That’s how you should’ve known something was coming.

The knock at the door came on a rain-heavy evening. You opened it to find Dina.

Alive. Shaking. Pale.

“She told me you were dead,” she said to you.

You blinked. “What?”

“She said you lost it during a raid. That you bled out in her arms.”

“I’ve never even been in a raid,” you said slowly.

Dina stared at you.

Ellie had lied.

Not about you.

About Dina.

Because while Ellie had been healing you…

She’d been hiding the fact that she never stopped loving someone else.

You confronted her that night.

“You said she was gone.”

Ellie sat still, jaw clenched.

“She was. I thought she was—”

“Liar,” you whispered. “You wanted her gone. You wanted me to replace her.”

“You’re not a replacement,” Ellie snapped. “You’re... you're worse.”

The words left her mouth before she could take them back.

And just like that, the switch flipped.

You were done.

You disappeared the next morning. Vanished into the woods.

Ellie searched for days. Weeks. She cried. Screamed. Left notes carved into tree bark.

But she never found you.

Because you didn’t want to be found.

Until the next season, when Ellie found something under her bed.

A recording.

Your voice. Calm. Unstable. Honest.

“If you’re hearing this, I’m gone. Not dead—just done. You didn’t break me. I just finally saw who I was when I wasn’t trying to hold you. You were always scared of losing me. But I think I was more scared of losing myself.”

Ellie sits on the porch every dusk now. Alone. The wind carries echoes of your voice. Not real. But not gone either. She doesn’t know where you are. But part of her knows she’ll never find you. And for once, it’s not because you’re lost.

It’s because you finally let go.

Hello can you do a fic based on the song “the cut that always bleeds” by Conan gray ? Thank you <3

The cut that always bleeds - ellie williams x reader

Hi anon!! I loved writing this, i was chanelling what happened between my ex and lmao. I hope you like it:)

This story is based off the song The cut that always bleeds by Conan Gray. If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: emotional manipulation, abandonment, grief, mentions of depression

Summary: in which she left you bleeding

authors note: sup babygirl

masterlist

“Every time I think maybe this time it’ll be different.”

You always swore you wouldn’t be the kind of person to beg for love.

But Ellie Williams makes you forget that.

She walks into your life already in pieces, smelling like old blood and regret. And somehow, you make yourself believe that if you hold her long enough, she’ll stay.

She never does.

You know her patterns now: The way she disappears for days without explanation.

The way she shows up at your door at 3 a.m., soaked in sweat and shaking.

The way she never says your name like it means something—but touches you like she’ll die if she doesn’t.

You should walk away.

But the truth is—you need her.

And that’s the worst part.

Because even after everything, after every goodbye that wasn’t really a goodbye, you still hope.

Hope that one day, she’ll look at you and finally say it.

Not I’m sorry.

Not I didn’t mean to.

But I love you.

She never does.

And the more you wait, the more it eats you alive.

“I don’t love you. But I don’t want you to love anyone else.”

Ellie is selfish. She knows that.

She tells herself it’s because she's lost too much. Because she doesn't know how to be good for anyone—not anymore. Not since Joel. Not since Seattle. Not since the blood, the screaming, the way Dina looked at her like she didn’t recognize the person standing in front of her anymore.

Ellie was never meant to find someone else.

But there you were. Soft. Kind. Safe.

She told herself she wouldn’t get close. That she was just tired, just lonely, just... fucked up.

But you looked at her like she was worth something. Like there was a version of her that wasn’t just made of scars and anger and ash.

So she let you in.

Just enough. Just enough to feel real.

She came back to Jackson after one of her episodes—days gone, no explanation.

She automatically made her way to your place. She quickly knocked at the door, almost excited to see your face. When you opened the door Ellie didn't expect to see you in the state you were in.

She didn't expect the silence. She didn't expect the tension. She didn't expect you to look the way you did.

You'd normally be angry. But this time was different.

You were not angry.

Not even hurt.

Just... empty.

“You always come back,” you say, looking at her “But you never stay.”

Ellie tried to tell you the truth—that staying feels like suffocating. And she's not ready to stop running, because if she does, all she hears is the sound of what she's lost.

“I don’t know how to love you the right way, I'm trying my best.” Ellie admits, and it’s not enough. She knows it isn’t. It never has been.

You laugh, bitterly. “Trying isn’t enough anymore, Ellie.”

And Ellie don’t have anything left to give.

Because you're right.

Later that night, Ellie sat on the roof of the old church where the stars peek through cracks in the clouds. She smokes a little. And Ellie thinks of the way you looked at her. The disappointment  in your eyes, the way your voice cracked, your honesty.

“Every time I think maybe this time it’ll be different.”

Ellie remembers how you looked sleeping next to her. Peaceful. Trusting. Like you believed—really believed—she wouldn’t break you like she broke everything else.

She did anyway.

She thinks she pushed you to your limit. She knows she broke you.

You’ll move on one day.

Someone else will pick up the pieces.

Someone who doesn’t flinch in the night or run at the first sign of quiet love.

And Ellie will be alone again.

But safe.

Because if no one gets close, no one can leave.

No one can die.

No one can love you just to stop.

Ellie didn’t mean to keep cutting them open.

But that’s what she does

She's the cut that always bleeds.

And you're just another scar that never gets the chance to heal.

“You break me, just to fix yourself.”

The first time you kiss someone else, it feels wrong.

You think about calling her. Just to hear her voice. Just to remind yourself why you held on so long. But you don’t.

Because this time—maybe—you’ll let yourself heal.

Maybe the cut can finally close.

And maybe, when she knocks on your door again, you won’t open it.

You’ll listen through the wood. You’ll hear her whisper your name.

And you’ll stay silent.

Because love shouldn’t be something you survive.

It should be something that lets you live.

And Ellie Williams never gave you that.

<3

Idk if you're taking requests but if so can you write a kinda angsty fanfic where the reader is insecure asf about her looks and is jealous of bestfriend!Ellie because Ellie is so pretty. And as she's gotten older the reader has learned to be less jealous (or just suppressed the feeling) but like one day her jealousy is revealed when her and Ellie are drinking together and like ellie is shocked because she's always found the reader cute. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME 😋

Drunk Words, Sober Eyes - ellie williams x reader

Hi anon!! this idea sounds so cool!! i went back and forth between giving it a happy ending or a sad one. I wanted to kill off a character honestly. But on this rare occasion, let me write something happy lmao. lmk if you want another version:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: a little angst

Summary: in which you confessed

materlist

You’d never really hated Ellie.

But sometimes, being next to her felt like standing beside a lit match—close enough to burn, too far to be warm.

She was everything you weren’t. Confident. Effortless. The kind of pretty that people noticed without her trying. When you walked into a room together, you disappeared behind her glow like a shadow behind sunlight.

She didn’t mean to make you feel small.

But she did.

“God, you’re so dramatic,” Ellie laughed, flopping back on the couch with her third drink in hand. “I did not flirt with that guy.”

You rolled your eyes and took a long sip. Your face burned. “He literally tripped over his words when he saw you. I don’t blame him.”

Ellie raised a brow, cheeks flushed. “You’re being weird tonight.”

You forced a smile, eyes on the floor. “Just tired.”

That was a lie. You weren’t tired—you were cracking.

Cracking under years of silent comparison.

Of wondering if she ever looked at you the way you looked at her.

Of trying to be fine with being the best friend.

Three drinks turned into five.

And five drinks turned into the kind of honesty that stung more than alcohol ever could.

You were lying on Ellie’s floor, legs tangled in a blanket, the moonlight filtering through the half-open curtains. She was beside you, laughing at something stupid, lips glossy with whiskey and chapstick.

You watched her laugh and felt it again—that ache.

And this time, it didn’t stay quiet.

“You ever get tired of being... the pretty one?” you slurred, staring at the ceiling.

Ellie blinked. “What?”

You swallowed hard. The words came like a flood.

“I mean, I don’t blame anyone. You’re fucking gorgeous, Ellie. Always have been. It’s just—"

You choked out a laugh, bitter and small. "It’s hard sometimes. Being the... invisible one next to you.”

The room fell dead silent.

You didn’t dare look at her.

Ellie sat up slowly.

“You think you’re invisible?” she said quietly.

You shrugged. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask to be… perfect.”

“Jesus, I’m not perfect—”

“But you don’t get it,” you snapped. “You’ve always been the one people see. Even when you’re quiet, they feel you. I’ve spent years trying to be okay with being the second choice. The backup. The ugly friend.”

You buried your face in your hands. “God, I can’t believe I said that out loud.”

Ellie didn’t respond for a long moment.

And then—gently, almost shakily—she said, “You really think I don’t see you?”

You looked up, eyes rimmed with salt.

Ellie was staring at you like she’d never really looked before.

“I’ve had a crush on you since we were seventeen,” she said flatly.

Your heart stopped.

“What?” you breathed.

“I thought I was being subtle. I figured you weren’t into girls, or you just didn’t see me like that, so I never said anything.”

You stared at her, stunned. “Ellie…”

Her voice dropped, softer. “You’ve got this way of... pretending you’re fine even when you're screaming inside. You think no one notices, but I do. I see every flinch. Every forced smile. And I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.”

Your eyes welled up again—but this time, not from jealousy.

From shock. From relief. From finally being seen.

The next morning, your head throbbed, but your heart felt light.

Ellie made you coffee. She was quiet, her usual sarcastic wall softened.

“Do you remember what you said?” she asked, gently, sliding you a mug.

“Every word,” you admitted, clutching the cup. “I’ve never felt so stupid.”

She tilted her head. “Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing to want something you thought you could never have.”

Ellie walked around the table and crouched beside you, hand on your knee.

“You already have it,” she said softly. “You just didn’t know.”

You blinked at her. And then—finally—you let yourself believe it.

It wasn’t all easy after that. You still had bad days. Still saw someone in the mirror who didn’t feel enough.

But Ellie never let you spiral alone.

She kissed your forehead when you hated your body. Held your hand when you felt like disappearing. Told you she loved your laugh, your eyes, your stupid sarcasm.

And every time she did, you started to believe her.

Little by little. Step by step.

Until the mirror didn’t feel so cruel anymore.

Until “pretty” didn’t have to mean her instead of you.

Until you stopped being jealous of Ellie…

And started being in love with her instead.

<3

Will u please made a cute date in the planetarium with Ellie!!✨

Planets - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! i hope you like it:) this story made me feel so single wtf.

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: none

Summary: in which you went on a date

authors note: im spamming yall

masterlist

“Are we even going in the right direction?” you ask, out of breath as you follow behind Ellie.

She lets out a laugh. “You’re just tired of walking,” she comments.

The two of you are walking through a damp forest. The air smells like wet moss and the forest floor squishes under your boots. The sky is overcast, an endless sheet of grey, and the only light filtering through the trees is cold and muted. You flinch at the sound of leaves crunching beneath your feet. You're not supposed to be outside of Jackson without a group.

But here you are. You snuck out. With Ellie. And now you feel the weight of your actions—the thrill of being away, the fear of getting caught—and the pressure in your chest grows heavier with every step.

Your heart pounds loudly in your ears as you try to keep up. Ellie’s walking ahead, effortlessly, as usual, her pace slow but determined. She’s been quiet, her face lit only by the faintest spark of mischief.

She asked you on a date. You didn’t expect it. Ellie never seemed interested in anything serious. She always kept things light, kept people at arm’s length. So when she showed up one random morning with a single flower in her hand, the words she said next felt like they came out of nowhere.

“Go on a date with me,” she demanded.

You blinked, taken aback. You didn’t think she even saw you like that. The glances, the small smiles she would shoot your way—maybe you’d been reading them all wrong. Maybe she’d just been being herself.

But you said yes. And now here you are, walking with her in the cold, not knowing where she’s taking you.

“We’re here,” she says suddenly.

You blink at her, confused. "What?"

“Close your eyes,” Ellie orders.

You hesitate, but she’s already behind you, covering your eyes with her hands. Her touch is warm, but there’s a rush of heat that spreads through your chest as her fingers brush over your skin. You feel the pulse of her touch radiate down your spine, making your body respond in ways you don't know how to explain.

“Don’t peek,” she warns softly, her voice teasing, yet with an edge of something else, something you can’t quite place.

You take a step forward, the ground beneath you soft and uneven. She guides you carefully, making sure you don’t stumble. You wonder for a second what she’s up to, where she’s leading you, but then you forget all of it the moment she removes her hands from your eyes.

“Holy shit,” you mutter.

You’re standing in front of an old planetarium. It’s overgrown with vines and moss, and parts of the building are crumbling, but it still holds an eerie beauty—something untouched, even after everything. The roof is cracked, and broken glass twinkles on the ground in the dim light, but the dome remains mostly intact.

“How did you find this?” you ask in awe. You look around, scanning every corner, trying to take it all in.

“Joel…” Ellie starts. Then she clears her throat. “Joel brought me here,” she says quietly, and for a second, you don’t know what to say. You hadn’t expected that. "It’s a special place for me," she continues, her gaze flicking to the side. "And… you’re special, so..." she shrugs, looking away, her cheeks turning a little pink.

You stare at her for a moment, processing what she just said. Her words hang in the air, and for once, she’s not trying to mask anything. She’s vulnerable.

You smile, your heart beating faster than before, and you reach out to take her hand. "Thank you," you say softly, unsure of what else to add. You don’t need to say anything more, though. She’s already looking at you, her eyes soft and sincere.

Inside the planetarium, the air smells faintly of dust and decay. The floor is cracked in places, but the projection system still works, though faintly. You can make out a few dim constellations on the ceiling, and what might’ve been a comet streaking through the sky.

Ellie moves toward the projector, crouching down to fiddle with the controls. She looks back at you, her smile a little more mischievous.

"Wanna try something?"

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “Like what?”

Ellie presses a few buttons and the stars shift. She leans back against the projector, arms folded. “Pick a constellation. Anyone.”

You stand up, looking up at the sky projected on the ceiling, and pick out the first star you can find. “That one.”

Ellie grins. “Good choice. Watch this.” She flips a switch, and suddenly, the star bursts into a radiant spiral of light, trailing behind it like a comet’s tail. It’s beautiful, even if it flickers a little.

“That’s amazing,” you say, awestruck. “How do you—”

“I’ve been messing with this thing for a while,” she interrupts, clearly proud of herself. “I can make the stars do whatever I want.”

She slides over to sit next to you. “Wanna make one wish?”

You nod. “Yeah. Just one?”

“Just one.”

Ellie glances at you, her face softening, and for a moment, you both stay silent, the hum of the projector the only sound around you.

Then she’s standing again, brushing dirt from her jeans. “Okay. Now, for something a little less… romantic.” She gives you a wink. “Ever played a game in a planetarium?”

You laugh, not sure what she’s getting at. “I mean, I’ve never been to one until now.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat.” She grabs a couple of old pieces of debris, some discarded glass, and arranges them into a makeshift bowling setup. She stands back and gives you a look, raising an eyebrow. “You ready for this?”

“I guess?” you reply, amused but a little confused.

Ellie rolls the first “ball”—a smooth stone—and it hits the glass “pins” with a satisfying crash. You laugh and take your turn, rolling the stone with as much drama as you can muster.

The two of you take turns, joking, laughing, and trying to knock over as many pins as possible. The competition is ridiculous—completely pointless, but you’re both grinning, caught up in the moment.

After a while, you both collapse onto the floor, still laughing. Ellie lays her head on your lap. You freeze for a second, feeling your pulse spike, but then you let yourself relax, your fingers gently brushing through her hair.

She looks up at you, her eyes gleaming with something soft. “Thank you, for… this. For being here. For today.”

You smile, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face. “No problem,” you say quietly. “It’s... perfect.”

“You know,” she says, her voice teasing but sincere, “you can’t get this kind of date just anywhere.”

You laugh, nodding. “Yeah, I think I’ll remember it for a long time.”

You both lie back down, staring at the broken planets above. The stars are flickering slowly, and in that moment, everything feels peaceful, like the weight of the world is just a little bit lighter.

“Thank you, Ellie,” you murmur again, your voice barely above a whisper.

She sits up, brushing off her pants, and her face softens. “No, thank you... for making me come back here. I miss him so much.”

Your heart aches as you sit up and take her hand. You squeeze it gently. “It’s okay,” you say softly, looking into her eyes.

She lies back down on your lap, her breath steady as you run your fingers through her hair. The moment feels quiet and timeless. The outside world doesn’t matter anymore. It’s just the two of you here, in this forgotten place, under the stars that don’t shine like they used to but are still beautiful.

“I like planets,” Ellie says, her voice quiet and content.

“I know,” you reply. “I think after today i like them too”

She turns her head to look at you, a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Do you want to be my world?” she asks, her voice teasing, but there’s something in her eyes that says it’s not just a joke.

You blink, and then you laugh softly, warmth spreading through you. “Sure, Ellie. I’d like that.”

She smiles wide, and for once, everything feels just right.

<3

Hi girlie was wondering if you could do your interpretation of “latch” Sam smith and disclosure ☯️

Latch - ellie williams x reader

Hi poookieeee!!! tbh i had two ideas for this. A lovey dovey one or a angsty one, i decided to go with the angst one!! lmk if you want the other one. I hope you enjoy this:)

This story is based off the song latch by Disclosure & Sam Smith. If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: Dark themes, emotional manipulation, obsession, trauma bonding, blood/violence, toxic dynamics

Summary: in which you were trapped

authors note hey:)

masterlist

“Now I got you in my space

I won’t let go of you.”

You weren’t supposed to meet her.

You were just passing through. One night, shelter from the rain, a hot meal traded for clean bullets. Then you saw her—

tattooed arm, flannel rolled to the elbows, eyes sharp like she was built of steel and sorrow.

She didn’t say much that first night. But she watched you.

And you watched her back.

People in the commune whispered about Ellie Williams. About what she’d done. Something about vengeance. Something about blood. But no one dared speak it aloud.

Except you.

You weren’t scared of her. You were intrigued. You thought you could handle it.

Oh, how wrong you were....

Somehow, it became a routine.

She'd show up at your cabin. Late. Unannounced. She never knocked.

Sometimes she came with a cut on her lip. Dirt on her hands. Sometimes she didn’t say a word—just grabbed you by the collar and kissed you like she was trying to fuse your bones together.

It was thrilling. Addictive.

You never asked where she went. You didn’t want to know. Because deep down, you liked it.

The chaos. The danger.

The way she latched onto you like you were the only thing left in the world keeping her human.

And you let her.

One night, she doesn’t come home. You wait. You pace. You ask around. Then—someone finds her.

Covered in blood. Breathing, barely. A man dead beside her with his throat slashed.

She won’t say what happened. But something in her eyes is... off. Hollow.

You nurse her back to health. She never thanks you. But she doesn’t leave, either. That night, she holds you tighter than she ever has. You wake up unable to breathe.

And that’s when the dreams start.

Blood. Wolves. Her face but twisted. Smiling.

You should've been scared. But you latched onto her.

You find a journal in Ellie’s bag. You know you shouldn’t look. But you do.

Inside: drawings. Of you. Over and over.

Sometimes smiling. Sometimes sleeping. Sometimes... injured.

One page stops your heart.

It's you, lying dead. Ellie crying beside your body.

A note scribbled beneath: “If I lose her, I lose everything.”

You shut the book. Pretend you didn’t see.

But something shifts after that.

You start to feel it—how tightly she watches you, how she tenses when you talk to others, how she clutches your wrist, not your hand.

This isn’t love.

It’s possession and you were stuck.

You try to leave one night as she slept peacefully.

She catches you before you reach the gate.

"Where are you going?" Her voice is low. Calm. Terrifying.

"Ellie... I can't breathe anymore."

She steps closer.

“You said I made you feel safe.”

"You did. But now it feels like a cage."

Something flickers behind her eyes. And she smiles.

“Then I guess I have to make the cage prettier.”

She gently took your hand, and she took you back inside. You were trapped. She could've put you into a cage and you would've preferred that.

One night, you manage it. You drug her water. You run.

You make it to the riverbank. Steal a boat. You're free.

Or so you thought...

Until someone jumps from the shadows—

a blade to your neck.

But it’s not Ellie.

It’s Dina. Bruised and alive.

“Get away from her,” Dina spoke with a voice filled with sympathy. “She’ll never let you go.”

Your mind spins. “But—she said you were gone—”

“She wanted you to think that.” Dina starts as she slowly brings the blade away from your neck.

"You need to get away"

Ellie appears behind her. Calm. Smiling.

"You were never meant to find each other," Ellie says. Both you and Dinas head snaps into the direction of her voice. You felt your body go cold. Dina's eyes widen with fear.

You can't even recall what happened next. All you remember was the sound of gunshots. It was all a blur.

Dina shoots first.

Ellie dodges.

You grab the gun and fire—

Ellie collapses.

You don’t breathe until her eyes close.

You watched Ellie- the women who has been tormenting you for the last few months bleed to death on the ground before you.

You hear Dina talking. You don't even know what she's saying, the only sound you could hear was the ringing in your ears.

Months went by and you live with Dina now. The two of you don’t talk about Ellie.

You don’t talk about how you sometimes wake up reaching for her.

You don’t talk about how, sometimes, you still hear her voice.

And you definitely don’t talk about the page in her journal you kept.

The one that wasn’t of you dead. The one where she drew herself, alone.

Underneath, it read: “If I let go, I lose her.”

If she scared you so much, why are you still latching onto her?

<3

heyy could you write something based on Dark Red by Steve Lacy?

i love all your works btw

Dark red - (ellie williams x reader)

hi poookie!! thank you sm!! i hope you don't mind me writing this as a gore story, I've been writing a lot of fluff recently and i missed my violent stories, but if you want me to write a different version just let me know!!! i hope you enjoy <33

This story is based off the song Dark Red by Steve Lacy, if you can please listen to the song while you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

HUGE warning: murder, kidnapping, being held hostage, dead bodies, violence

Summary: in which she wanted you to herself

masterlist

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

I don't know what, but I feel it coming

Might be so sad, might leave my nose running

I just hope she don't wanna leave me"

Something bad was going to happen. Ellie could feel it in her bones. She doesn't know why she feels this way, but ever since she woke up this morning, she's been filled with dread. A heaviness in her gut she can't shake off.

Ellie sat at her desk, anxiously waiting for the bell to ring. She hasn't been home for the last 3 days because of school spirit week.

Ellie was so pissed off when she heard they were having a camping day, a sleepover and a all nighter back to back. Everyone was complaining that they were exhausted due to all the activities happening at school, but Ellie wasn't thinking about sleep.

She was thinking about you.

She was always thinking about you.

Ellie could see everyone was staring at the clock, they were practically counting down the seconds before the bell rang. They wanted to go home.

Ellie wanted to go home too, she needed to get home to you.

5, 4, 3, 2-

Before the bell rang the intercom went off. The students groaned thinking that they had to stay at school for another day.

"Can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office. Ellie Williams. I repeat, can Ellie Williams please come to the principals office"

fuck.

The bell rang soon after and everyone ran to the door, Ellie watched as they ran like animals.

"Fucking idiots" she thought to herself

She waited till most of the kids were gone, before she got up grabbing her bag and slowly making her way to the office.

She knocked on the door, and she heard a small "come in".

She let out a sigh as she reluctantly pushed open the door and she was greeted by a the principal and a detective.

What the fuck?

"Close the door and sit down" the principal instructed.

As she sat down her heartrate increased. Her ears were ringing, her palms were sweaty.

The detective cleared his throat before he spoke "as you know y/n has been missing for 3 months now"

She nods

"after further investigation, it seems you were the last one seen with her"

"Was i really or are you looking for someone to blame?" Ellie asked with a raised brow.

She knew where you were, but she couldn't tell him that.

"Ms Williams you're under suspension of kidnapping"

Ellies fists clench by her sides "why am i? Just because i was last seen with her?"

"You guys were best friends, many people said you were close, some say you where obsessed"

Oh she was mad. Ellie was really mad. She wasn't obsessed, she just cared about you.

"i wasn't" she said through gritted teeth.

"We think you know where she is"

Ellie got up, her fist hitting the table "so you're accusing an underage child of kidnapping? do i look like I'm capable of doing that?"

"Ms Williams-"

"no"

Ellie turned to the door and she stormed out. She walked out of the building rushing home to see you.

She hoped you didn't leave her.

"Don't you give me up, please don't give up

On me, I belong with you and only you, baby

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you"

They weren't wrong about what ellie had done to you.

But she had to do it! How else was she supposed to keep you to herself?

Ellie always has feelings for you. Ever since you shyly asked her for a pencil in year 8, she's been all over you. As the years went by her fondness towards you grew, you made her blush, you made her giggle, you made her so fucking happy.

Overtime the two of you built a good friendship but Ellie always wanted more.

It was a Thursday, the sun was shining and the two of had a science project to finish.

The homecoming dance was getting closer and she wanted to ask you. Ellie thought this was the perfect moment to ask you.

"So....with who are you going to homecoming?" Ellie asked clearing her throat

"oh Dina asked me"

"what did you say?"

"I said yes, i think Dina is cute"

No no no no no no no

Not her. You belong to her. You were hers. Not Dina. You were supposed to go with her.

No no no no no

"Ellie?" You asked with concern seeing her zoned out expression.

Ellie looked at you briefly before her hands wrapped around your neck. You let out a silent scream trying to scratch her. You tried fighting but you couldn't. Ellie was stronger than you, she was bigger too.

Eventually you went limp in her hands.

Heavy breaths left Ellie's mouth.

You were still breathing. Good.

She dragged you to her house, hiding behind bushes once in a while to make sure no one saw her. She dragged you into her house, and into her basement.

Ellie placed your body onto the cold floor and she watched you breathing faintly.

Now you cant go with Dina.

"Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

Why I feel this way, I don't know maybe

I think of her so much, it drives me crazy

What if she's fine?

It's my mind that's wrong

And I just let bad thoughts

Linger for far too long"

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just having bad thoughts. Ellie has always had a tendency to overthink things.

She knew it was bad to overthink but she was always prepared for the worst.

When Ellie first kidnapped you, 3 months ago everything was fine.

You never screamed, you never fought back, you always tried negotiating or escaping which was good because she didn't need to tie you up or gag you.

You made things easy for her. Ellie fed you, she kept you company, she tried to be Dina.

She really tried to keep you happy.

You didn't need Dina, you needed her.

But for the last month you've been very sick. You barley spoke, you barley ate, you barley moved.

There was something wrong with you, she just didn't know what it was.

Since she hasn't been home for 3 days, Ellie didn't know if you would still be alive. There was no one to feed you. No one to talk to you. You were all alone.

You're fine. You're fine. You're fine.

She's just overthinking it.

Her house key rattled as she pushed open the door. She quickly made her way to the basement, unlocking the door. She walked down the stairs quietly calling your name.

You didn't say anything. She didn't see any movement. she slowly made her way to the bed she had made for you and there you were.

Your skin was pale, cold and it was turning blue. You weren't breathing.

Ellie let out a sigh as she gently grabbed your body, hugging you, not caring of the smell.

Atleast Dina cant get to you.

You were hers. You were safe. You were ok. You now only belong to her.

<3

Hey so could you maybe do ellie with “I was all over her” by salvia Plath

I was all over her - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon! i tried a different format because im still trying to get used to how to write and stuff lol, also the song choice??? hello??? one of my favorite crying songs fr, i hope you enjoy <3

This story is based off the song I was all over her by Salvia Palth! if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts

warnings: murder, angst, sadness, mommy issues

Summary: in which she wanted to be all over you

authors note: uni applications are open this month im so nervous that i wont get accepted... im stress writing bro

masterlist

The light was really bright, it hurt her eyes. Ellie hates bright lights.

The buzzing also bothered her.

"How can you be so bright and also make such an annoying sound at the same time?" she wondered as she stared at the lights on the roof.

It was cold in here too.

Fuck

it was really cold. She should've worn a jacket.

The room was plain too. There was just a table a few chairs.

Who decorated this place?

Ellie was snapped out if her judgmental thoughts when detective Miller walked into the room, and he sat across her.

"Do you know why you're here?" he asked coldly.

Ellie's handcuffs rattled as she sat up straight.

"I don't" she lied.

"Do you know y/n?" he suddenly asked.

Ellie's eyes widened slightly at the mention of your name. She knew you were. She knew you very well.

You guys were at the same party that night.

That night.

The night she wanted to forget so badly. But how could she? It was engraved into her mind.

She remembered everything.

"She's missing" he said.

"I know"

"I need you to be very honest with me. Do you know what happened to her?"

"No" Liar.

She knew what happened. She was the reason everything happened. She was already drowning in her own guilt.

Detective Miller leaned back into his chair and he let out a dramatic sigh. He knew Ellie knew something, he could sense it.

"Tell me what you remember from that night"

Her muscles tensed when she started telling the story.

"Don't know what I wanted, I have a memory"

Ellie walked into the party, and her nose scrunched up at the smell of weed. Wherever she looked there were people either smoking or drinking, or they were half naked and making out. The room was packed and there was barley space for her to walk.

Ellie hated small spaces, that's why she hated parties. The big crowds, the smells and liquids everywhere, she hated it.

She doesn't know why she was there.

She remembered finding you all alone and sitting at the top of the staircase. She remembered sitting next to you. She remembered how you looked at her.

She remembered, she remembered, she remembered, she remember-

"and then what happened" the detective asked her, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"I don't remember" she lied.

"People saw the two of you go into a room together. What happened in there?"

"Back at that party, I was all over her, We didn't make out or do anything, I just remember I was lonely"

You were so sweet. You were so nice and caring. You were the opposite of who she was.

What was a sweet thing like you doing at such a party?

She remembered how you told her that you enjoyed her company, and how you asked her to go somewhere private so the two of you could get to know each other better.

Lavender.

You smelled like lavender.

As she laid next to you on that bed listening to you ramble about why social media is bad for kids she realized how empty she felt.

You made her feel so full, so loved but when you went home she had no one. You guys didn't even have to do anything, as long as she is in your presence.

You made her happy. She needed to keep you. She needed to feel full.

She remembered you falling asleep, she remembered how peaceful you looked, she remembered how she got up and locked the door.

She remembered, she remembered, she remembered-

"Ellie" detective Miller called her. Ellie looked at him with a hum.

"Let's talk about your personal life"

He needed to dig deeper. He knew she was hiding something. He could tell.

"What do you want to know?" Ellie asked with caution.

"Tell me about your mom"

Oh.

"She left"

"I know she did, but do you remember anything about her?"

She let out a sigh, the handcuffs rattled and she realized that she was still being questioned.

She can't get soft now.

"My mom always made me feel like i was a problem, she made me feel... useless." She watched as he wrote down her words.

"Do you think she was right by calling you useless?" He asked, as if he cared. He didn't care, it was his job.

After a few seconds of silence Ellie answered: "I guess I am always, it's not a problem, it's just something, I got used to it"

Ellie locked the door and she slowly walked to where you lay. You looked so peaceful. She touched your hair gently. She wanted to remember you. Ellie took the pillow she was laying on a few seconds ago and she placed it on your face.

She remembered how you screamed, she remembered how you fought back, she remembered how you begged, she remembered her mother.

Her mother left, but you wont right? this way you'll stay with her right?

She remembered how her mom made her fell, she remembered how heartbroken she was.

she remembered, she remembered, she remembered-

"what did you do to her?" Miller asked.

Tears filled Ellies eyes "i killed her"

She just wanted to keep you. She wanted you to be with her. She wanted to be all over you.

The detective let out a sigh "Ellie Williams you're being arrested for murder"

<3

Maybe another dark toxic ellie oneshot in the future

Laundry - (ellie williams x reader)

your wish is my command, i hope you like it, i tried not to make it toooo toxic <3

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts:)

warnings: toxic relationships, face spitting

Summary: In which you didn't fold the laundry

authors note: prepare to be sick of me because i have so many drafts

masterlist

imagine you and ellie had a huge argument earlier that day about unfolded laundry.

Ellie had woken up in a grumpier mood than usual, her eyes burning from the sunlight shining into your shared room. With a groan, Ellie got up, shivering as her feet touched the cold floor.

She got up, walking with her eyes closed, but she tripped over a pile of laundry that was left on the floor.

"Fucking-" she swore as she held her ankle.

You ran into the room, hearing the noise from downstairs. The scene was almost comedic: Ellie hunched over mumbling curse words to herself as she held her angle.

"Els..." you whispered, holding in your laugh.

"You" she said softly as her head snapped in your direction.

"Can you not clean properly?"

Your brows furrowed at her question.

"Ellie its your clothes-"

"i work all fucking day. All Fucking day, and i let you stay at home. I provide you look after the place. I expect you to fold my laundry. How would you feel if i stopped paying the bills?"

She did this often. She liked reminding you that she was the in charge. She was the one providing and you were nothing more than a stay at home girlfriend.

"Ellie-"

"get the fuck out"

You listened, like the dog you were. You ran out the room like a dog with it's tail between it's legs.

Ellie came out the room a while later, she didn't look at you she didn't acknowledge you.

You hated when she did that.

And she knew you hated it.

You had to get her attention somehow. You knew just what to do.

The sun had set, Ellie came home walking right past you, she didn't even utter a "hi".

She sat on the couch, probably responding to Dina's texts.

"I want to break up" you suddenly spoke. You prayed that this would work. You could never leave, but you knew this would get a reaction out of her.

"What?"

"you heard me"

she threw her phone to the side and she got up walking towards you. You felt her cold fingers grip your face

"you're not fucking leaving me" she was close.

So close. You could smell her cologne. You could count her freckles.

You won this round. Both of you knew that.

You felt her grip tighten on your chin and you let out a yelp. This would probably leave bruises.

"the day you try to leave me is the day your dead body will be found, so don't even think about it"

You knew she was serious. Ellie doesn't play when it comes to things like that. You knew she was just reminding you who was in control and you liked it.

You were probably just as sick as she was.

She let go of your space and she spat onto your face.

"You make me sick" was all she said before she walked away.

You watched her walk into the kitchen as you wiped off your face, she didn't even look at you as she opened the fridge. All she said was: "Go fold the laundry baby"

And you did just that.

<3

Do you still dream of me? - (ellie williams x reader)

meep moop, i'm home and i'm here for blood:) I hope yall enjoy this short story while i ease into writing again <3

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts:)

warnings: sadness

Summary: In which you still dream about her

authors note: yall i graduated 12th grade on a random thursday, I'm employed ugh

masterlist

"don't be such a pussy!" She yelled as you stood at the edge of the lake.

"I don't think this is a safe els" you replied with a weary look.

She got out of the water, her clothes soaked and sticking to her skin, hugging her in all the right places.

You would be a fool to look away when this is one of the only opportunities to see her like this in all her glory. Her skin was glowing, her hair wet.

She slowly walked out of the water and it was as if she was moving in slow motion. You couldn't describe what you felt in that moment.

When it came to her, you never could.

You've never been so attracted to someone, you've never trusted someone to this extent, you've never cared for someone so deeply, yet you never could tell her that you felt this way.

"Focus on me" you heard Ellie tell you.

how could you not?

"i am"

"you're not, you're zoning out"

She walked over to where you were sitting, water droplets fell from her hair and clothes. The area where she sat was soaking wet.

"What's bothering you?" she asked.

You sigh and you turn to her, the two of you made eye contact.

Fuck.

If you were an ice cream you'd have melted a long time ago.

"I miss you" you simply said, feeling vulnerable under her gaze. She sighs getting up and turning away from you.

"dont say that"

"but i do els"

"it was for the better"

"no you were selfish" you snap.

her fists clench by her sides

"what's selfish is you not letting me go" she replied.

You stayed silent her words hitting you like a hammer. Her words hurt, it hurt because you knew she was right. There was a long silence between the two of you. You were processing the words Ellie had just spoken and she was waiting for you to reply to what she just said.

She felt regret for leaving you, anger because you waited for her and sadness because she never got to tell you how she really felt.

You felt resentment towards her because how could she do that you, anger because she left and sadness because she never knew how you felt.

She turned to you giving you a small smile, she reached out her hand and she muttered: "do you still dream of me? Because i dream of you"

You looked at her with a shocked expression. This is what you wanted to hear. All these years that you've been no one but your friend. She's admitting it. The confirmation that you needed. Maybe she did feel the same way.

You reach out to grab her hand. That's all you've ever wanted to do.

As soon as you felt her soft hand against yours you woke up with a gasp, breathing heavily. You were in a puddle of your sweat as your eyes searched the room for any sign of her. You got up and ran through the house.

"Ellie?"

"Ellie!"

"Ellie?"

You called over and over again.

The house was just as cold and empty empty as it was when she left 7 months ago.

She went after Abby. She chose Abby over you.

You let out a sigh as you slowly walked back to your room.

She'll be back right?

You got into the bed you'd hope one day you'd share with her. Your head hit the cold pillow as you stared out the window.

Her question replayed in your mind:

"do you still dream of me?"

you let out a lob sob "i do els, every night"

You hoped she heard you. Wherever she was.

<3

If you’re still doing song requests I’d love if you can do bad dog by Rosie ugly it’s so loser Ellie core

Bad dog - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon! firstly yes this song is so loser ellie and secondly i've never heard about Rosie before and their music slaps... i hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Bad dog by Rosie! if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts

warnings: angst.

Summary: in which you treated her like a bad dog

authors note: so i left again and im so sorry, anyways my person life has been kak (that's a word in afrikaans lmao, it describes my emotion the best) but I've arrived and here to spam.

masterlist

Sometimes I feel like your lover

Savor salt while I'm there

But it feels like I'm drowning in the thick heavy air

And I'm only your souvenir

You put me outside like a bad dog

And you know you're missing out

On my love

On my love

I just want another taste of you

Right there under my tongue

It gets me feeling excited

Why am I tryna hide it?

you made her feel like a fucking dog.

A dog that has disappointed it's owner and that gets sent outside to wallow in self pity.

Sometimes you made her feel loved, you made her feel like she's the only girl alive. You made it seem like you would fucking die for her but today you made her feel like a dog.

Ellie doesn't know why she feels so hurt, you did this so often. She should be used to this.

The air surrounding you, Ellie and Dina was tense.

It was suffocating.

Ellie and Dina has been friends for years, but as soon as you came into the picture suddenly all the friends Ellie had drifted towards you.

Everyone loved you.

Who wouldn't? You were perfect. There was something about you that drew people, and Ellie loved that about you.

Ellie became a shell of herself. The once loud and confident Ellie Williams became a fucking loser who follows you like a shadow.

Your laugh filled the air, as Dina told a cringe dad joke, Ellie quietly sat watching the two of you.

Your words from earlier that day made her feel sick.

"Just because we fuck, doesn't mean we're something. We're really not anything but fuck buddies. Stop trying, you're pissing me off"

stop trying.

stop trying.

stop fucking trying.

Your presence made her so excited. Just smelling your perfume had her giggling.

How could she stop trying if you were the very reason for her existence?

She couldn't focus on the what Dina had to say, your laugh was mocking her.

Your harsh words were still replaying in her mind. They were suffocating her.

stop trying.

She meant nothing to you.

She should stop trying to win your love. You literally told her to stop.

Even though you made her feel like a fucking dog, the love she felt for kept her going and Ellie wasn't willing to give up.

Remember that song that you wrote me

It wakes me up in the morning

And it feels like I'm drowning in the memories I've been avoiding

And I cannot stop destroying

You put me outside like a bad dog

And you know you're missing out

On my love

On my love

I just want another taste of you

Right there under my tongue

It gets me feeling excited

Why am I tryna hide it?

Jesse told Ellie that you didn't deserve her love. He said that you were missing out on the best relationship of your life.

Jesse was right. Ellie knew she couldn't keep following you around, she knew she should stop hoping you'd fall to your kness and tell her how much you love her.

No, she had to face reality.

He was right.

All Ellie had to do was to go to your apartment and she had to tell you to fuck off. But when she tried she suddenly lost her ability to speak.

As soon as you smiled at her and asked "what's wrong baby?"

She couldn't.

She couldn't break her heart like that.

How can someone say something so hurtful and pretend like it didn't happen? You told her she meant nothing but yet you're calling her baby?

You were a fucked up person.

She wanted to hate you, but she couldn't.

Dogs are loyal to their owners. She wasn't going to leave. She was pathetic. A loser.

A loser who believes a girl who didn't see her as more than a fuck buddy would love her.

Ellie hopes you'll fall for her.

She hopes you listen to love songs and that you'd think of her.

Maybe the memories the two of you have created would consume you. Maybe you'd finally fall for her.

She tries to forget those memories, but she can't. The thought of you kills her.

You showed her love. You fucking cared for her when she was sick.

Surely it all wasn't platonic.

Maybe deep down you love her. Maybe you making her feel like shit was all apart of your plan to suppress your feelings for her.

Everything is a possibility at this point.

I'm all fucked up 'cause

I'm missing pieces

I'm all fucked up 'cause

I'm missing pieces

Ego dying

Loner island

I untied when

We went silent

Showed my colors

Stained the carpet

Not another

Fucking artist

Ellie is a puzzle.

She's incomplete without specific pieces.

Without her guitar, she felt empty. Without Joel she was lonely. Without you she felt like she had no purpose.

No matter how complicated Ellie was, no matter how fucked she was in the head you'd always show her love. Her dark thoughts went quiet, and her once dull life was filled with color because of you.

Ellie started drawing again after she quit years ago because you convinced her to try again.

You were the reason for her very being at this point. That's why she held on for so long. That's why she couldn't let go even though you made her feel like shit.

Ellie thought that she was going to stay in this toxic cycle for the rest of her life, and yes she would've if that meant a life with you.

But one day she woke up and everything around her was dull. There was no more color. No more excitement. When she was around you she felt tired. Drained.

You showed her the world but you destroyed it too.

She hated everything.

As much as she loved you she's had enough.

She has to take Jesse's advice and do what's best for her.

Here Ellie sat in front of the love of her life, telling you that this wasn't going to work.

"Ellie please" she heard your voice plead.

"I love you" Ellie muttered

"prove it" you said, frustration building up in you.

"Stay"

"I can't"

You were almost in tears. You were losing someone who helped you. You didn't love Ellie but she was of convince, she was there when you needed a quick fuck.

If she was just a quick fuck, then why does this hurt so much?

"Ellie if you love me you would stay"

"I love you i truly do, but i love myself too much to let you treat me like a bad dog"

<3

my pookie (the taglist): @hellorai

Can you do something with dye it red by beadbadoobee it’s her best songgg 💕

Hi anon! this song fucking slaps, its one of her best songs frrr... i hope you enjoy <3

This story is based off the song, Dye it red by beabadoobe, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one:)

Warnings: murder, mentions of gore (not that graphic, but it's there), toxic situationship

Summary: In which you dyed your hair red

Authors note: thank you for 300 followers! I'm in tears, I love you all <3

Kiss my ass, you don't know jack

And if you say you understand, you don't

You don't

You don't

You don't

Fuck me, only when I'm keen

Not according to your beer

Your beer

Your beer

Your beer

you saw her contact name, appear on your phone. The red heart you put next to her name, mocking you.

god you were so stupid for falling for her

You hesitantly picked up the phone.

"Come over" you heard her demand from the other end. You could hear the music booming. She must've been at a party.

"Ellie" you said firmly. "You should stop calling me, I'm not a fucking dog that you can call, and expect to show up whenever you want"

"but I miss you baby" she slurred.

Yep, she was definitely drunk.

"Listen-" she started

"I know fucked up but I miss you-"

You didn't even let her finish before you ended the call.

You threw your phone onto the other side of the bed as you broke out in tears. You fell to knees as you held a pillow close to you. Normally Ellie would comfort you, but now she was the reason you were so broken.

You fucking hate love her.

Loud broken sobs left your mouth. She had no fucking right to call you. You deserved better, after what she put you through. The humiliation, the lies, the cheating- you didn't deserve that. No person does.

People like Ellie thought they were god. She always got what she wanted. She was always in control. She was attractive, confident. Narcissistic at times. She was a walking green flag.

Until the two of started seeing each other.

Ellie was nice to you in the beginning. She took you on dates, bought you everything, she spoiled you rotten. She made you soft.

When you thought the two of you were official, Ellie told you that she had been cheated on in the past and she couldn't commit. And you believed her.

You trusted her. You made excuses for her. You defended her.

The longer you and Ellie stayed in this 'relationship', the worse your life became.

You couldn't look in the direction of another women, but Ellie could flirt with as many as she wanted to. Ellie would go days without talking to you, only calling when she wanted a quick fuck.

It took you 7 months to realize that you meant nothing to her. And now here you were ignoring her calls, hoping that she'd leave you alone.

You couldn't block her, you loved her too much for that.

You were pathetic.

How could you love someone so heartless?

but the heart wants what it wants. And all you craved was Ellie.

You sobbed for hours.

Your eyes were puffy, your throat felt raw, before you picked up your phone again.

No calls or texts from her.

Wow.

And here you thought she was trying to fix things.

So let me be what I've wanted to be

So let me cut my hair and dye it red if I want to

I haven't found myself so comfortable

I'm not stopping n

Touch me as if you mean it

Accept I'm getting tired of being all alone

Alone

Alone

Alone

And if it's not from you

Guess I'll find it on my own

you looked yourself in the mirror as you the red dye stained your hair.

You felt free. Like you could actually express yourself.

With Ellie you felt alone. So empty. She controlled your every move. What you wore, your hairstyles, everything.

She'd call you doll because you were only a doll in her eyes. Someone she could dress up, fuck and leave when she was done.

You thought she'd loved you.

The way she touched you, made you feel loved. Her warm hands on her waist, the tender kisses she left on your forehead. It felt like love, but it wasn't.

You saw the way she touched Dina. She looked at her with the same eyes she looked at you with. The same touches, the same smile, and the same promises.

Fuck.

You wanted to vomit when you realized that you weren't the only one.

There was before Ellie. A girl who was insecure, someone who thought she deserves to be alone. There was during Ellie, a girl who was controlled and suppressed, now there's after Ellie.

Who were you? Who were you without her?

Maybe dying your hair red, could give you the identity you craved.

You watched the dye color the water red, as you rinsed it out.

It reminded you of blood. It reminded you of Ellie's blood that flowed after you payed her a visit earlier that day.

You dried your hair and you looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked good like this.

Dying it red was a good idea, after all.

Think I'd be better off alone

Now that I've had some time to think

I've had to put up with your shit

When you're not even that cute

And maybe it's time to change my ways

But that doesn't include you

you've put up with her shit too long. You knocked angrily at her door, you just wanted to see her stupid face and tell her what you fucking thought of her.

Ellie opened up the door, and she looked at you with grin on her face "I see you came.. I knew you couldn't resist me"

You wanted to punch her so bad.

You gave her a fake smile before answering "of course I did, anything for my favorite girl"

Ellie smiled at your response.

She's so pretty.

No, she's not. She isn't.

Pretty people aren't bitches you thought to yourself.

You were here for answers, not to admire her.

Ellie welcomed you in with open arms. You silently walked behind her, and you truly felt out of place in her apartment, even though you were here so many times.

Everything was fine before she had to open her goddam mouth.

"You're so fucking pathetic, you know that right? You ended my call, but yet you're here" she laughed.

You blacked out. You were so fucking angry.

In an instant you grabbed a vase that was next to you and you hit Ellie over the head. You fell to your knees as you repeatedly hit her head with the vase.

When you snapped back to reality the only thing you saw was, blood shards of glass and Ellie's bloody body on the floor.

The blood was oozing from her head as it colored her hair red.

You stared at the scene. You were a murderer.

You left her apartment instantly. Not looking back to see if she was alive, you just left. You couldn't be in the same room with the person you loved so much at one point. You took her fucking life.

You got the urge to dye your hair after you killed her. Her hair looked so pretty red, but yours looked better.

You were a new person now. With new confidence, looks and energy.

maybe she didn't die in vain.

The next month after Ellie's murder, it was all peaceful. No more calls, texts, or insults.

You were free. You weren't her toy anymore.

You were a new person, it's all thanks to the girl who hurt you so much.

ultraviolence by Lana del Rey with toxic/mean/abusive!ellie who hurts reader x painslut reader who kinda loves it

Ultraviolence - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! I'm sorry this took so long, its been a while since I've written something like this, so it took me a while to get into that mindset. I hope you enjoy<3

This story is based off the song, Ultraviolence by the queen Lana Del Ray, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one:)

Warnings: toxic relationships, manipulation, cheating, reader is toxic

Summary: In which she became the person, you've always wanted

Authors note: wheeeew its been a while since I've written a fic that wasn't hcs, but I'm glad to be back!

He used to call me DN

That stood for deadly nightshade

'Cause I was filled with poison

But blessed with beauty and rage

Jim told me that

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

Jim brought me back

Reminded me of when we were kids

there was always something about Ellie.

You weren't sure if it was her dorky personality, or how she would apologize to table if she accidentally walked into it.

There was something about this girl.

And ever since you were a little girl, you knew you knw she was special. You felt like she was holding back. There was another side, you wanted to see.

You were both 7. You remembered watching Ellie, better known as four eyes because she wore massive glasses, sit alone once again. You remembered walking up to her, and asking her to play tag with you.

You still remembered the smile that spread across her face, because finally someone wanted to play with her. And since then Ellie has just always been there.

The two of you became friends. You aren't sure how, but she was always there.

You were Ellie's everything, because you were there for her during her loneliest years.

You knew how much you meant to her. You knew how much she loved you, and you took advantage of that.

Ellie's innocence and purity was something that intrigued you. You truly thought she was odd. No matter how old the two of you were, you always saw her as four eyes.

Nothing more than that. There was no romantic feelings from your side.

Ellie was everything you weren't.

She was sweet, kind, loveable.

But you were sick. A sick twisted individual who took advantage, of someone like Ellie.

But who could blame you?

Ellie was attractive, strong, financially stable, and well you were someone who saw the opportunity.

So it was actually Ellies fault.

She should've not trusted you so easily. She should've not let you in. Ellie brought this upon herself.

With his ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

I can hear sirens, sirens

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

I can hear violins, violins

Give me all of that ultraviolence

you didn't know when it all started.

You weren't sure when you developed this "kink".

Was this a disease? Or were you just fucking weird?

In 11th grade you remember your teaching yelling at you for failing a another test. You were called "pathetic", a "failure".

Most people would cry due to humiliation, but you couldn't help but feel your thighs clench together.

You thought you were weird. This was fucking sick honestly.

You went out of your way to make people mad, so that they would yell at you. To degrade you to an extent.

god you loved it.

Ellie had asked you to be her girlfriend when the two of you were 18. You took pity on her.

She was so soft. So naïve.

Ellie had no place being with someone like you. Someone who craves to be hurt. You were a painslut and Ellie, poor Ellie wasn't. She wouldn't be able to do that to you.

You were trapped in a relationship, where it was healthy. It felt safe. You enjoyed it sometimes, but there was one thing your heart craved. And maybe the thing Ellie was holding back was it.

You wanted to leave Ellie, until that one night.

The two of you were at a party, and Ellie was drunk out of her mind. You don't even know what she saw, or who said what but she was really fucking mad.

"You're fucking cheating on me bitch" Ellie slurred as she pointed her finger at you. You licked your lips at the insult, at the aggression, she spoke.

Focus.

"Ellie you're drunk, i didn't do anything"

"give me your phone"

"Ellie-"

"I'm not asking again" she yelled.

Fuck yes. This is what you want.

You handed her the phone, and you watched as she searched and she found nothing. She threw your phone across the room, you flinched slightly.

god she's so hot.

Ellie got up and grabbed your arm, bringing you close to her face, you smelt the alcohol in her breath.

She looked at you with dark eyes, before uttering "Don't ever think of cheating on me" she let go of your arm.

She grabbed you and it felt like a kiss.

When Ellie woke up the next morning, she couldn't remember a thing.

She was back to being herself. You wanted her back. You needed her again.

You realized, she was drunk. You couldn't keep her under the influence forever, just because you liked that version of her.

After that night you knew she was hiding a part of herself from you.

Drunk words are sober thoughts they say.

So maybe deep down she was actually toxic. Maybe she was the person you craved.

All you had to do was to figure out, how to get through to her.

He used to call me poison

Like I was poison ivy

I could've died right then

'Cause he was right beside me

Jim raised me up

He hurt me but it felt like true love

Jim taught me that

Loving him was never enough

you were like poison.

Destroying anything in your path. Infecting those with your poison.

After that night you realized Ellie's biggest insecurity was that you would leave her. And you used it to your advantage.

Of course you had to, how else would've you got what you wanted?

You would flirt with other people in front of her. You would talk to other girls, send them pictures. You did whatever it took. You were practically cheating on her.

You knew she would never leave you.

And you watched as Ellie slowly disintegrate into madness.

There was no more happy, go lucky Ellie. There was no more smiles. No more care free days.

Ellie lived in fear. You were out of her league. She knew she was going to lose you.

If you were by her side and Ellie could die peacefully. You taught her how to love and how to be a better person.

If you left what would become of her?

Everything went down hill. Ellie started taking your phone. She became more aggressive with her words.

The lovely girl you once knew was gone. You killed the old her. And the person she was becoming was someone you've always dreamed of.

You had a curfew, and when you came home late it would end in her insulting you.

"Who else are you fucking huh? You're practically showing the world your whole body"

you lived a life of fights, make up sex, and jealousy.

You loved every fucking second of it.

She was hurting you and it felt like true love.

I love you the first time

I love you the last time

Yo soy la princesa, comprende mis white lines

'Cause I'm your jazz singer

And you're my cult leader

I love you forever

I love you forever

Ellie loved you, and you loved her.

You love her today, tomorrow and for the rest of your lives.

Ellie became the women you would choose in every lifetime.

Ellie was your leader. The person you would finally follow.

You love Ellie. You'd love her for eternity.

It was truly a sickining thing, you were doing to the poor girl, but God you were selfish. You wanted it all. All the insults, pain, negativity. You craved it.

For the sake of this relationship, you hoped Ellie stayed as toxic as she did.

The air is getting crisp fall is coming so a bôa song is definitely needed can you do twilight by them

Twilight - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! Your wish is my command! Ugh I wish it was fall where I live, it's literally so fucking hot lmao... I hope you enjoy it <3

this story is based off the song Twilight by Bôa, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one!

HUGE Warnings: descriptions of violence, murder, death, gore, sadness, small mention of depression and graves (don't read this if you aren't in the right mental state)

Summary: In which you couldn't win Ellie's heart

Authors note: ladies and ladies, the violence is back! Idk man it's been a while since I've written something like this. Remember you are loved <3

Your word and my word and her word is

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

And twilight gives me, an inner sanctity

And you're feeling, and you're hungry for her

And you don't understand it

But you know you haven't planned it

Your feelings and mine are all lonely

And dawn comes you're there lying with me

And you reach out to touch me, but I am in the twilight

You heard Ellie let out a sigh as she continued venting to you about Dina.

Stupid Dina.

Seems like all Ellie could talk about was her.

Why her? Out of all the people on the fucking planet why did it have to be Dina?

"She said "hey Ellie" and she didn't even smile with me! like what the fuck???" Ellie practically yelled with frustration.

You rolled your eyes at Ellie.

"Ellie calm down maybe she had a bad day"

Ellie stopped pacing around the room to look at you.

"Yeah.... you're right! She doesn't hate me she's just tired" Ellie said with a small smile.

You watched as Ellie lowered herself onto your bed and she looked up at you with a shy smile. She reached out her arms in your direction "cuddle?" she asked softly.

You let out a sigh as got into the bed spooning Ellie. She let out a hum of satisfaction.

"Ellie you need to stop doing this"

"doing what?"

you only shook your head and thought: "making me fall in love with you"

"friends don't cuddle" you brought up.

"Friends do" Ellie argued.

"Dina wouldn't like this" you added.

"well Dina isn't here right now" Ellie spoke matter of factly as she snuggled closer to you.

All you did was sigh as you brought your hand up to scratch Ellie's head. She let out a moan and she closed her eyes.

"You are a great friend, you know that?" Ellie spoke through a yawn.

Yeah, you were a great friend.

Your feelings and mine are all holy but,

You know and I know it's untrue because

When day dawns you're there lying with me

And the dawn can fly away

And you know I love you but you know that

There's nothing you can do about it

Because you love her, and you still want me

If I could be her... but I'm not her and she's not me

And you're somewhere different, on a different planet

You loved Ellie. You loved her a little more than a friend should.

Every time you saw her, your heart raced. She made you feel hot by just giving you a smile. Ellie made you feel things. Things you've never felt before.

You loved her.

But you knew she didn't feel the same.

You lay many nights next to Ellie, listening to her complain about Dina who's oblivious to Ellie's feelings.

It hurt you.

Seeing how Ellie always smiled when Dina walked into a room. Seeing how excited Ellie got, every time Dina said something. Every time Dina complimented Ellie, she almost exploded with joy.

It made you sick.

You tried being Dina.

Maybe Ellie would love you if you were someone else.

Maybe it was the way you did your hair? Was it the way you dressed? Was it the way you looked? What made Dina so special?

You tried cutting your hair the same length as Dina. You started dressing like her. You even copied her stupid music taste.

You tried. You tried so fucking hard.

But you could never be her and Ellie would never see you like that.

You knew Ellie loved you. She wanted you, but not in the same way you wanted her.

You were her best friend.

The girl she could go to with her problems, the girl who would help her with her hair and outfits.

You were nothing more than a friend.

You wanted to be Dina and you prayed to the gods that you could become her. But you didn't. You were nothing more than a friend in Ellie's eyes.

You saw how much Ellie's crush on Dina affected her.

How much it hurt her knowing that Dina most probably doesn't feel the same. And you being the amazing friend that you were, you decided to help Ellie.

You made it your mission to get them together.

Even though it hurt you knowing Ellie would never love you, as long as she was happy, you'd be happy too.

That's how you got yourself in your current position. Sitting across Dina in her apartment.

"So" you stared as you took a sip from the orange juice Dina gave you.

"we need to talk"

"about?"

"Ellie" "What about Ellie? Dina asked confused.

"do you have feelings for her?" you asked.

You watched as Dina burst out laughing, you watched as she threw her head back from laughing.

Anger sparked in you.

Why the fuck was she laughing? What's so fucking funny about liking Ellie?

After a while of Dina laughing, she slowed down breathing heavily before she let out a "Why would I like her? She's weird".

You felt your eye twitch before all hell broke loose.

How dare she say that about Ellie?

Your Ellie?

Ellie loved her so much and this is what Dina had to say?

This was the girl Ellie loved. She didn't deserve Ellie. If only she knew the amount of tears Ellie cried for her.

fucking bitch

You leaped from where you were sitting onto Dina, you straddled her as you punch her over and over again.

"How-"

*punch*

"dare-"

*punch*

"you"

*punch*

You don't even know how long you sat on her, and listened to her beg.

"Please" she whimpered as she tried getting you off her.

You eventually got off her breathing heavily as you looked down at your hands.

Your knuckles were bruised, and your hands covered in blood.

Dina's blood.

You looked over at her, seeing her slowly breathing. She didn't move, she didn't even make a sound.

Maybe she was unconscious.

You couldn't even recognize her with all the blood and bruises.

If Dina woke up, she would call the police. She would tell Ellie. Ellie would hate you.

You couldn't let that happen.

You slowly walked back from Dina, as you heard glass shatter. Your head snapped in the direction of the sound.

You saw pieces of glass scattered everywhere. And your orange juice was all over the floor.

Fuck you wanted to drink that.

You slowly bent down to pick up a shard of glass, and you held in your palm.

You walked towards Dina and you slowly pushed the glass into her trachea. You watched as the blood seeped from the wound.

You took a step back, leaving the glass shard in place. The blood dripped all over her throat and clothes, blood came out of her mouth.

Soon after Dina stopped breathing.

You killed her. You fucking killed someone.

You knew you made the right decision by killing Dina, because now you finally had Ellie to yourself.

And you still want it

The inner sanctity

And it's an evil

But the evil is necessary

And you're still hungry for her

And you still want her loving

But she doesn't love you

You watched as Ellie sat next to Dina's grave. She was sobbing.

Why the fuck was she crying over someone who didn't feel anything for her?

After Dina's death Ellie really struggled. She struggled to accept that the girl she loved wasn't here anymore. And what hurt Ellie the most was that Dina never knew.

Dina never knew the love Ellie had for her.

You watched Ellie spiral. You watched how she suffered.

Your plan was get rid of Dina, not the hurt the girl you loved.

Late at night when Ellie would lay in your arms you would sometimes feel regret for what you did. You didn't know it would affect Ellie the way it did, and you never wanted to hurt her. The guilt you felt soon get's replaced with pride when you realize that you got rid of the girl that was only going to hurt Ellie.

You saved Ellie. You saved her from rejection and embarrassment.

You knew she would get over it eventually.

Ellie's life wouldn't stop because her crush died. At some point she'll just have to accept it and you'll be here waiting for her with open arms.

You quietly walked towards Ellie as she sobbed next to Dina's grave, you raised your right hand putting it on her shoulder.

Ellie looked up at you, and in her eyes you could see how broken she was.

"It's ok Ellie" was all you said before she continued to sob into her hands.

You let out a sigh at the sight.

Months after Dina's death you realized that Ellie wasn't going to forget so easily.

You watched as she printed out pictures of her and Dina, and she placed it all over her apartment. You watched as she went to Dina's grave every week.

You listened to Ellie cry almost every night.

Even though you knew Dina didn't feel anything for her, Ellie still wanted her. Ellie still craved Dina.

Yes, she got affection from you, but you were never going to be enough.

All she wanted was Dina.

And you knew in the years to come Ellie wouldn't be able to move on and forget.

Even though you were there for her through everything. Even though you showed her nothing but love, the only person Ellie ever wanted was Dina.

She wanted Dina's love. Dina's care.

You were nothing but a friend. The realization made you sick.

You did everything for her.

You even killed for her.

But you'll never be Dina.

All you could was comfort her and hope, she'll one day feel the same.

I’d love if you can do window by spill tab she’s so underrated I just love your style so much

Window - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! I didn't even know who she was until you requested it! And you're right she is so underrated???? I've been obsessed with this song for a while now lmao... I hope you enjoy it <3

This story is based off the song Window by spill tab, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading <3

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open feel free to leave one and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: reader being called annoying and pathetic and Ellie being a bitch

Summary: In which Ellie Williams made a big mistake

Authors note: maybe I should start posting twice a day??? Because I have so many requests lmao. Remember you are loved and to always be kind

I get used to ignoring

Closing the door and

Opening yours since

You've been clueless and honest

I wouldn't know the

First thing to say to you when you're here

"I love you" the text you sent Ellie read.

You loved her. You truly did. She was and will always be your one and only truly love.

The day you met Ellie, both of you felt an instant connection.

It started with a "hey" at a party and hours later the two of you were found stargazing and talking about anything and everything.

Your relationship with Ellie moved very quickly. Soon after meeting, you started dating and you practically lived with her.

Ellie always loved having you around, she always loved the way you ask her random questions. The way she'd find your hair all around her apartment after you'd gone home. The way you'd leave small trinkets as decorations.

Ellie loved everything about you.

But soon changed one night.

Ellie remembered coming home from work one night. She was exhausted. All Ellie wanted was some peace and quite but soon as she opened her front door she was met with your smiling face.

"Hi babe!" You said happily.

Ellie flinched as you brought her down for a hug.

Peace and quite.

That's all she wanted.

The rest of the night went down with you talking and asking her questions, and then begging her to cuddle.

Ellie looked down at your sleeping face and she realized just how fucking annoying you were.

You never gave her space.

Wherever she looked you were there. Wherever she breathed, you appeared.

All Ellie wanted was space and to be alone.

Ellie felt bad. She felt bad for finding you annoying when you have always been sweet and loving to her.

Out of all the relationships Ellie has been in, the one with you was the most special to her.

She couldn't leave you because she knew deep down she'll never find someone better than you.

Ellie tried ignoring you. Distancing herself from you. But it never worked. You'd always show up with a smile on your face asking what's wrong.

There were pieces of you everywhere in Ellie's apartment so you were never technically gone.

Ellie let out a sigh as she stared at the message you sent.

How does she reply to this?

You were always so genuine. So honest. You loved her but she doesn't feel anything for you anymore.

Should she lie and say she loved you back?

All Ellie did was reply with a heart emoji, and she switched off her phone.

You were clueless. Clueless that the love of your life didn't love you anymore. Clueless that Ellie hated you with everything within her and it made her sick being around you.

What Ellie is doing to you was sick. Staying in a relationship with someone you don't love was wrong. But Ellie didn't know how to leave.

How do you easily leave a 3 year relationship?

And Ellie didn't want to hurt your feelings.

How would she even start the conversation?

"Hey! I think you're annoying, let's break up!"

No. That would be a dick move.

At a point she couldn't get enough of you, now she couldn't stand looking at you.

I'll push away like I did like when I had you clear

It's the crux of the nature to crave what is not near

(I think I'm done)

(I think I'm done)

Having to hold your hand and keep you over the water

(I think I'm done)

(I think I'm done)

Having to hold your hand and keep you over

Ellie had a bad day.

She ran out of gas halfway to work, she spilled her coffee onto herself so she had to drive all the way home to change. She ended up being 3 hours late to work and she got into trouble. Ellie got yelled at, the printer didn't work, she missed her deadline, and she spilled coffee on herself again.

So yeah she had a shitty day.

Ellie sat in her car, with her head against the steering wheel. She let out a loud sigh.

She was so exhausted from today, that she wasn't sure that she could even get out the car.

She let out a groan when she heard her phone ring. Without checking she picked up her phone, and answered: "hello?" With an irritated tone.

"Ellie?" she heard you whimper from the other side.

She rolled her eyes.

You were fucking crying? Again?

"What happened?" she asked.

"Well I had a bad day" you started.

And Ellie lost it.

"You had a bad day? I had a worse one. You are so fucking overdramatic and annoying! Oh my God every time I hear your voice, I want to stab myself so bad "Oh Ellie I had a bad day"" she mimicked you after her rant.

"Well all of us have bad days so, shut the fuck up and grow up" she yelled.

Ellie was heavily breathing at this point. She was tired of looking after you. She was done holding your hand and being nice to you when you were a grown ass women.

She heard you sniffle on the other side of the phone.

"You can't even say anything" Ellie chuckled. "You're so fucking pathetic"

"You're being mean Els"

"I'm being honest"

A few seconds of silence filled the air before Ellie spoke again.

"Look I think we should break up, please come get your things, I'm so tired of this- of us"

"ok" was all you said before you hanged up.

Ellie felt relived. She felt free. She felt like she could think clearly again without you.

A few days later when Ellie got back from work she saw you in her apartment.

It looked empty without all your things. Her apartment didn't look like home anymore.

Ellie awkwardly, stood at the counter as she watched you pack the last box into your car.

You walked over to Ellie not saying a word, you didn't even make eye contact, as you lowered your set of keys into her hands.

Ellie watched as you turned around and walked to your car, not looking back at her.

"Hey! I'm sorry about how things ended" Ellie spoke.

She watched as you stopped and turned around to look at her. With teary eyes you gave her a smile and said "it's ok" And with that you got into your car and you drove away.

All Ellie did was hope that breaking up with you was the right thing to do.

Open up the window by my bed

Hoping you'll come crawling in like back then

Open up a window in my head

I'm hoping you'll infect me like you did back then

Did back then

I'll push away like I did when I had you clear

It's the crux of my nature to crave what is not near

Ellie opened the window and she let out a sigh as she gazed towards the stars.

She felt defeated. Tired. Angry. She felt regret. She felt empty.

Her apartment once filled with color, once filled with you, was empty.

It felt as empty as her heart did when you drove away that day.

She realized in that moment, the moment she saw the way your eyes teared, the way you said "it's ok" with smile, she knew she made a mistake.

Why would you smile with the women that broke your heart?

Ellie had hoped you'd crawl back to her. She'd hope you'd call her and tell her how much you missed her.

But you didn't.

It's been 6 months and you still had her blocked on everything.

Ellie hoped she'd see you again in public, so that she could run to you and say sorry.

But it was as if you had vanished.

They say you miss something when you've lost it and Ellie finally understands. Now that she has lost you, she realized what she had lost.

She'd never find someone so loving, so caring, so kind as you.

Ellie never hated you. She found you annoying but she soon realized that she took her stress and own problems out on you.

You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve Ellie. You deserve someone better. Someone who could actually communicate with you.

What the two of you had was gone. And there was no what in hell that you'd be able to rekindle.

All Elle could do was look out her window and pray that maybe just maybe you'll come back.

can we get more abuser ellie headcannons/drabbles :)

Headcannons: toxic!ellie williams x reader

Hi anon! I just wanted to say a few things before I start. This not your fault and I’m not mad at you for requesting this. Thank you for your request and I hope you like what I have done<3

Before we start I would like to say a couple of things. I am in no way, shape or form trying to romanticize abuse. Abusive relationships and situations are traumatic to those who have experienced it. In my therefore you and me series I did write about abuse and I tried not to romanticize it. That is why I killed Ellie’s character at the end because of she had done. So once again, let’s not romanticize this, because people lose their lives daily because of it. I deeply apologize to those who I have hurt and triggered in my series. I do want to disappoint whoever requested this so I changed it into toxic!Ellie x reader with a not so toxic ending.

☆ Toxic Ellie who met you in a bar one night and immediately fell head over heels for you.

☆ Toxic Ellie who stomach churned every time she saw you interacting with your friends. ‘

☆ Toxic Ellie who started taking your phone while you were asleep to check if you were cheating.

☆ Toxic Ellie who started following you to work every morning to make sure you weren’t talking to any other girl.

☆ Toxic Ellie who would lose her shit when she saw you smile with someone else.

☆ Toxic Ellie who makes multiple accounts on social media to threaten your coworkers and friends.

☆ Toxic Ellie who comforts you as you cried because none of your friends wanted to talk to you anymore.

☆ Toxic Ellie who gets a job directly across the café where you work so watch you.

☆ Toxic Ellie who starts arguments with you because she doesn’t like when you talk to other people.

“just fucking leave me already” she yelled.

“Ellie why are you yelling? She literally just helped me carry my groceries”

“don’t fucking lie, if I didn’t show up, you would’ve fucked her”

☆ Toxic Ellie who cuts up your clothing when you have to go out, and then you have to stay home with her.

☆ Toxic Ellie who gets emotional when you don’t respond to her within one minute

“you’re probably fucking someone else”

☆ Toxic Ellie who threatens you if you try to leave.

“you’re a bad person” you spoke through tears

“I swear if you leave me I’ll kill anyone who comes near you”

☆ Toxic Ellie who hacks your social medias and reads your DM’s because she’s scared you might find someone else.

☆ Toxic Ellie who starts going to therapy because you threatened her with a restraining order.

☆ Toxic Ellie who talks about her childhood and how much she hated her parents.

☆ Toxic Ellie who realizes that she has attachment issues.

☆ Toxic Ellie who realizes her behavior was bad.

☆ Toxic Ellie who shows up to your apartment sobbing and apologizing.

☆ Toxic Ellie who goes to therapy twice a week, and learns ways to deal with her issues.

☆ Not so toxic Ellie who forgives her parents and moves on.

☆ Not so toxic Ellie who finally moves on from her trauma.

☆ Not so toxic Ellie finally living a happy and normal life with you.

☆ Not so toxic Ellie who finally gets a happy ending.

Brooklyn baby - (ellie williams x reader)

based off this request, but I had to post it separately cuz Tumblr is glitching again:(

This story is based off the song Brooklyn baby by Lana Del Rey, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading :)

Pairing: band!ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one, or just send me a song, and I'll take it from there or it can be headcannos! Or whatever you're thinking about! Just a reminder if you want something specific to happen, please indicate what you want in your request:)

Warnings: toxic relationships and manipulation

Summary: In which you were dating the world famous Ellie Williams

Well, my boyfriend's in a band

He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed

I've got feathers in my hair

I get down to Beat poetry

And my jazz collection's rare

I can play most anything

I'm a Brooklyn baby

I'm a Brooklyn baby

Ellie was bound to be a star.

When Joel first taught her how to play guitar, he knew.

She was going to do great things, and everyone knew it too.

Ellie's first school concert was when she was 7 years old. She had guitar classes and her teacher was so impressed with her that she had Ellie do a solo.

As soon as Ellie got on that stage, it was as if she took control of the room in an instant. Everyone was so enchanted by her and everything she did.

Ellie was 17 years old when a producer reached out to her. Joel wasn't surprised because he knew his girl, and he knew one way or another that she would be a star.

And a star she became.

As soon as she turned 18, Ellie immediately signed the contract and she climbed the ranks in the music industry very quickly.

Within 3 months Ellies first single reached over a 100 thousand listens, and she was in high demand.

Everyone wanted her for brand promotions, they wanted the use her music.

Ellie was taking the music industry by a storm.

As the years went by, Ellie went from a solo artist, to being in a band with 2 best friends, Dina and Jesse.

They were called the golden trio, and because Ellie was the face of it they surpassed massive artists within days.

Now six years later, Ellie sat in her dressing room, as she heard the crowd chant her name.

Ellie! Ellie! Ellie!

She heard a knock on her door and she yelled a quick: "come in!"

As the door opened you walked in, and you walked towards her giving her a quick peck before whispering "you're on in 5 babe".

Ellie gave you another kiss, as she got up, walking to the mirror quickly fixing her outfit for a second.

"Do I look ok?" Ellie asked as she looked at herself in the mirror.

She was wearing a white wife beater, and a pair of black jeans, her hair was in a ponytails and her fingernails were painted black.

Ellie felt your arms wrap around her from behind.

"You look great, now go break leg baby!" You whispered before giving her a kiss on the side of her neck.

Ellie pulled away with a smile before she reached down to grab her guitar.

"Let's go!" She heard Jesse yell.

As she stood backstage, the chants grew louder and louder.

Ellie! Ellie! Ellie!

They repeated her name as if it was a prayer. Her fans worshiped the ground she walked on.

Even though they were the golden trio, Ellie would always be the one that out shines everyone.

Ellie walked onto the stage, the bright lights were shining into her face as the crowd erupted in screams and cries.

Ellie walked to the microphone with a massive grin, as she slinged the guitar to her front. She held the microphone as she spoke.

"Good evening Brooklyn!"

The crowd was yelling as if it was their last night alive.

Ellie yelled a quick "let's fucking do this!"

As the she brought her fingers down the strum the guitar.

Jesse started playing the drums, and Dina, her backup singer started with the back up vocals.

The crowd sang along and Ellie couldn't help but smile as she saw all that she had accomplished. She was thankful for everything that everyone had done for her over the years.

But she knew she wouldn't have come this far if it wasn't for you.

They say I'm too young to love you

They say I'm too dumb to see

They judge me like a picture book

By the colors, like they forgot to read

I think we're like fire and water

I think we're like the wind and sea

You're burnin' up, I'm coolin' down

You're up, I'm down

You're blind, I see

When you and Ellie fell in love, the two of you were only 15. Everyone always told you that you and Ellie would never last. That you were too young. But yet the two of you stayed together years later.

You were never as talented as Ellie.

Where she could flourish in room filled with people, you would shy away and hide a corner.

You've always wanted to be famous. You remembered when you younger you used to watch people blow up, and wish it was you.

You wished that you could be in the spot light. But for some reason you couldn't do anything to achieve that.

You were the complete opposite of Ellie. And because you were so shy you missed so many opportunities, and you hated yourself for that.

You met Ellie when you were 9 and you fucking hated her. She was everything you were not.

She was attractive, good at playing multiple instruments and she could sing. There was no way you would be able to beat or to come close to the Ellie Williams.

But where Ellie failed, you excelled. Ellie wasn't good with organization, or management. She was quite clumsy, to be honest.

And as soon as you guys became friends you helped her. You helped her make a schedule, you helped her make posters, you helped her with everything.

The two of you were an unstoppable duo.

Where Ellie was on fire or nervous, you would always calm her down, and put out whatever she got herself into.

When Ellie told you she liked you, you knew this was a way to get in. A way to get into the industry. Ellie was your key to success, and when you agreed to date her everything became better.

She hired you as her manager, and you had control over everything.

Her reputation, what she posted, who she saw, her finances. You were in control of Ellie and she didn't even realize.

You were going to be successful, and Ellie was the perfect person to use for your plan.

I'm talking about my generation

Talking about that newer nation

And if you don't like it, you can beat it

Beat it, baby

You never liked the way I said it

If you don't get it, then forget it

Cause I don't have to fuckin' explain it

Your plan started as soon as Ellie signed the contract.

The first step was for you to become her manager and that was the easiest thing ever due to Ellie always choosing you.

She would've left that company if they didn't let her have you.

As soon as you were in control, you realized that you had to get Ellie as out there as possible.

You arranged photoshoots, and interviews and you pushed her to the limit.

At some point in Ellie's career, she took a dip. She struggled, to write songs, she struggled to do anything.

You were loosing money and you hated that.

And on one random winter night it hit you.

You needed to hurt Ellie.

You loved her, but you were never in love with her. You cared, but you loved money more.

It started with small comments, such as:

"work harder" and "you can do better" and soon after you realized that manipulating her was the best way to about this whole situation.

You convinced her, that all her friends apart from the golden trio hated her.

"Ellie they are just using you. They'll never support you, like I do"

She cut ties with all of them and she wrote beautiful songs from the heartache, of loosing her dearest friends.

You made hate accounts on social media that focused on making fun of her insecurities. And with that more and more songs came out.

You were hurting her, but it was only temporary. Hurt is temporary, money will last you a lifetime.

You'll do anything to get what you want, and nothing and no one suspected you.

How could they? You were the love of Ellies life. The person she wrote most of her songs about.

But little did Ellie know you were the reason most of her songs even happened in the first place.

Without you, Ellie would've been nothing.

And you thank god that he gave you such an easy target.

Yeah, my boyfriend's pretty cool

But he's not as cool as me

'Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby

I'm a Brooklyn baby

"Did I do good?" Ellie whisperd as she lay on your chest.

"Could've been better" you lied. She was brilliant as always. But you realized that if you break Ellie down, her music would be better.

She would have more drive, to record and to sing, and to make money. Her hurt is what made you money.

More money, and more recognition for you as her manager.

Ellie let out a sigh.

"Are you sure I should continue singing? Recently you've been disappointed in me and I don't think that's good from a professional point of view" she admitted.

Ellie would always say things like this. Sometimes, the things you would day does get to her. And I hurts, it fucking hurts. But she never saw you as bad person. You were only there to help she would say.

"Don't be sensitive Ellie" you said as you pushed her off your chest.

Ellie sat up immediately with her eyes wide.

"If you stop singing who's gonna pay the bills?" You started.

"Do you want me to end up on the street..? Remember it'll be your fault I something happens to me"

Ellie quickly shook her head.

"No, god- no,... I don't want anything to happen to you" she said.

"Then you better stop thinking about quitting, and so as I say. After all I'm you're manager-"

"and you know what's best" Ellie finished your sentence with a smile.

You gave her a smile back before you opened your arms towards her, gesturing, with your hands that she lay down.

Ellie quickly crawled back into your lap, as she lay her head back down onto your chest.

"Sorry" she spoke softly.

"Don't be sorry" you muttered as you ran your fingers through her hair.

"Just go out there and make me proud... i love you, ok?" You spoke gently as Ellie closed her eyes and hummed.

Yeah, you might been dating a superstar, but she would never outshine you.

You would always be better than Ellie. Even if it wasn't on stage.

Authors note: thank you sm for all the requests! My inbox is full of them so just know I'm working harder than the devil himself to get all of these out! Remember you are loved and to always be kind!

Yours truly,

Zia:)

Omg if you’d be willing to do another boy genius song I loved the first one so much could you do cool about it it’s my favorite from them 🫶

Cool about it - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! I would love to do another boygenius one, I literally love them and thank you for the compliment! I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Cool about it by Boygenius, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to send one! you can send me a song and I'll take it from there!

HUGE Warning: mental illness, murder, descriptions of murder, gore, mentions of touching a body, a small description of a dead animal, and Ellie being unhinged (as per usual)

Summary: if Ellie couldn't have you, she'd make sure no one else ever will.

wc: 1.7k

Met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool

And make fun of the cowboys with the neck tattoos

Ask you easy questions about work and school

I'm trying to be cool about it

Feelin' like an absolute fool about it

Wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it

Tellin' myself I can always do without it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

When Ellie met you, she knew her life was going to change. Whether it was for better or for worse, she didn't care.

Dina recently came out as bisexual and according to her, she needed to "meet hot girls". She dragged Ellie to a local lesbian bar and Ellie hated every fucking second of it.

She wanted to go home so fucking bad. She wanted to sleep-

"hi"

Ellie's thoughts were interrupted when she heard a voice talking from behind her. The voice of an angel, she would describe it. That voice that changed her entire life, from that moment on.

Ellie turned her head to see you.

And yeah maybe coming to the bar that night wasn't such a bad idea.

The two of you talked for hours about how shitty your college is, you talked about how Ellie wanted a promotion at the Café she was currently working at. The two of you made fun of the bartenders neck tattoos.

It was a really a night to remember.

Ellie had gotten your number and she immediately asked you out on date. And you quickly said yes. I mean, who wouldn't? It's Ellie Williams.

You made Ellie feel like a fucking fool. You were making her do things she's never done before.

She showed up to the restaurant 2 hours early, so she could choose the best table, so she could make sure the area was safe.

Her palms were wet with sweat the closer as she watched the minutes go by as she was waiting for you.

Ellie's eyes lit up when you walked info the restaurant, the air in her lungs were knocked out as you walked towards her.

You were beautiful.

"Hi" you gave her a small smile before she got up to hug you. As Ellie wrapped her arms around you, the scent of your perfume overtook her senses.

The two of you fit together like a puzzle pieces.

The date was amazing. You talked like you had known each other for years, despite only knowing each other a week at that point in time.

As the evening came to an end you told Ellie something she didn't want to hear.

"Look I'm not looking for something serious, just casual hook ups that's all. No feelings attached"

"no feelings?" Ellie asked in shock

"Yeah" you replied. "Just be cool about it"

How could she be cool with only hooking up with the girl, she thought was her soulmate?

I came prepared for absolution, if you'd only ask

So I take some offense when you say, "No regrets"

I remember it's impossible to pass your test

But I'm trying to forget about it

Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it

Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it

Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

Ellie hoped that one day you'd call her and say that you regret only hooking up with her. She hoped that you'd tell her that you wanted more than sex.

But at this rate Ellie doesn't think that will happen.

You'd only call her when you were alone or bored, and Ellie being stupid and in love, always went.

She'd drop everything for you.

She knows this is toxic, being in love with someone you know will never fucking love you is bad.

But Ellie hoped this was a test.

She hoped you were testing her, testing her loyalty. It was unlikely, but she always had hope.

You were in Ellies mind, like a fucking plague. Like a fly that wouldn't go away.

Everything she looked at, everything she smelt or touched reminded her of you. And she was sick of it.

She saw you in her dream, and in her nightmares. Ellie saw you everywhere.

She already couldn't have you, now you were haunting her.

Is this some kind of joke? Did you ask a spell on her?

She'd beg the stars above to have mercy on her. To make her even forget about your existence entirely. But she couldn't.

You were there to stay. To haunt her. To mock her. Maybe one day she'll move on, but for now she has to deal with being with your side chick.

If only you'd given her a chance, you'd still be alive right now.

Once, I took your medication to know what it's like

And now I have to act like I can't read your mind

I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie

"Ellie when last have you taken your medication?" Joel asked as he walked into Ellie's room.

Empty plates and cups littered the room as he saw a few bugs run around.

Ellie's head snapped towards the door when she heard him talk.

"Ellie you know you need it" Joel tried talking with her again

"I dont"

"you'll hurt someone if you don't drink it" he tried reasoning with her

"I'm fine, I won't hurt anyone"

"don't lie Ellie"

"Joel get the fuck out" and with a sigh Joel left the room.

"I need to get into her mind" Ellie spoke aloud even though there was no one there.

"She left me Barry... why would she leave me for her?"

She needed to know why you didn't want her. She needed to know why you chose some blonde bitch over her.

She was cool with the arrangement that the two of you had. Strictly sex and nothing else. She got to see you, she got to spend time with you, but now that you have someone else.

You stopped seeing her.

What made Abby so special, that you could commit to her and not to Ellie? What was wrong with her?

"What can we do?"

"Hurt her? No that's not nice Barry" she told him.

"Wait so you're saying if we kill her no one will touch her?" She asked him.

"If she says no i'll hurt her...yeah thanks Barry"

Ellie excitedly got up from her bed as she reached out to grab her phone. She quickly texted you asking you to come over because the two of you had to talk about something important.

You said you'd be there in an hour and grin spread across Ellie's face.

Joel had left the house to go to see Ellie's therapist. He was very fucking concerned and he was afraid for his own safety.

Joel knew there was something wrong with Ellie since she was 5 years old.

She was playing out in the garden, before Joel called her in a for dinner. But Ellie excitedly told him "come look, I made a friend!"

With smile Joel walked out, but his smile was soon overcome with pure horror and shock.

Blood littered the grass a squirrel lay there cut in half.

Joel turned to Ellie as she looked at him with a big smile.

"Barry made me do it!"

Therapy session after therapy session, but yet no one knew why a 5 year old was killing animals.

They told Joel he was being overdramatic, that she was just acting out. But the older Ellie grew, the more violent her acts became.

She killed animals, she hurt her friends. She wasn't a kid acting out, she was a girl with a serious problem.

They gave her medication, to keep whoever Barry was quite. Without barry Ellie lived a happy life. A peaceful life.

But now, because of you, for the first time in years, she heard Barry talk to her again.

Barry always knew best in Ellie's eyes.

Ellie quickly cleaned the living room, before she hopped into the shower. All you needed to do was say yes, and she wouldn't hurt you.

Just say yes.

But we don't have to talk about it

I can walk you home and practice method acting

I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning

Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing

Even though we know it isn't true

"please give me one chance" Ellie begged.

She watched you lower your heard as you let out a sigh.

"Ellie I can't, you know I don't feel the same way"

"Please try" she begged.

She hoped you would say yes. She didn't want to hurt you. You would be ok, you would walk out of here alive if only you said yes to her.

The love Ellie had for you was killing her. It felt like she was drowning.

Either you let her love you or she'd make sure nobody would ever love you again.

Ellie felt the cold blade of the knife dig into her back. She had hid the knife behind the chair she was sitting at and all she wanted was for you to say yes.

She needed you to just give her a chance and everybody would be happy. Everybody would be safe and you would leave alive.

"Ellie I said no"

Ellie's eye slightly twitched as she took a deep breathe. She closed her eyes lowering her head into her hands.

why didn't you just say yes?

She got up grabbing the knife, hiding it behind her back as she made her way towards you.

With tears in her eyes, Ellie looked at you and said "you should've said yes"

You looked at Ellie as she towered over you, you opened your mouth to say something but you suddenly felt something cold in your shoulder.

You looked to your seeing there was a knife, with eyes wide you looked back at Ellie as you let out a whimper.

"Why?" You asked her, as you felt the unbearable pain in your shoulder.

"you should've said yes" Ellie repeated, as she removed the blade from your shoulder.

You let out a cry, when the blade was pulled from your shoulder.

You tried moving away from Ellie, but she was bigger than you and much stronger. You had nowhere to run and all you could do was accept your fate.

Ellie brought the knife down as she stabbed you in the stomach.

"You should've said yes" she repeated.

The knife was pulled from my stomach, and she slashed your left cheek.

"You should've said yes"

She brought the knife directly into your eye socket.

"You should've said yes" she repeated as she slit your throat.

"You should've said yes" Ellie yelled as she repeatedly brought the knife down, stabbing you all over your body.

Blood spattered everywhere, and there wasn't an inch of your skin that was left uncut or without blood.

The last words you ever heard that day was "you should've said yes"

maybe you should have.

Ellie threw the knife somewhere in the room as heavy breathes left her mouth. Ellie looked down at your body, with a small smile on your face.

"We did it", she muttered to herself.

Ellie gently placed your still warm, and still bleeding body onto the floor, before she got onto her knees to give you a kiss on your forehead.

"I'm sorry I hurt you" she brought her hand up to wipe the blood from your lips.

"but it had to be done"

She lowered herself onto your chest. Ellie lay there cuddling with your dead body, she closed her eyes and she let out a hum of approval.

She's definitely has to thank Dina for taking her to that bar.

Authors note: well I've been posting everyday for the last 4 days and I'm so sorry for spamming, but I have so many requests and I'm trying to get everything done for yall. So just know for the next few days, I'll be feeling you with ALOT of content lmfao.Remember you are loved and to always be kind. I love you all.

Yours truly,

Zia:)

You’re boygenius one is sooo iconic btw

Can you do petals on the moon-wasian project

🫶

Petals on the moon - (ellie williams x reader)

Iconic??? Thank you sm anon, like literally this made me smile but anyway I hope you enjoy&lt;3

This story is inspired by the song Petals on the moon by Wasian Project, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: Ellie x fem!reader

remember requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there :)

HUGE Warnings: Mentions of murder, kidnapping , descriptions of a dead body, depression, graphic descriptions of suicide and funerals (please don't read this if you aren't in the right mental state)

Summary: In which Ellie regrets her decision

wc: 2.0k

Feeling down

Orange juice

Cigarette

To get me through

As it rains

I conclude

I need help

From someone new

"you know you're going to get cancer if you keep smoking that shit" she heard Joel's voice talk from behind her.

"Getting cancer sounds better than living" Ellie replied as she took another puff.

Smoke filled the air as Joel walked behind her, placing a cup of orange juice next to her.

Ellie looked down at the cup, and she let out a sigh as she remembered the time you mentioned you hated the orange liquid.

"Ellie what the fuck is this?" she heard you talk from the kitchen.

"It's juice" Ellie spoke, eyebrow raised, confused on why you were asking.

Were you really that stupid?

"I know it's fucking juice you idiot, I meant the flavor"

"It's orange juice... it's my favorite flavor"

"Ellie this shit is sour"

"ok so what do you like? apple juice?"

"As a matter of fact I do"

"you are so fucking disgusting" Ellie muttered as she took the box of orange juice from your hands.

She opened the top and she brought the base to her lips as she started drinking directly from the box. Ellie heard you make gagging noises before you walked back to the kitchen. A smile spread onto her lips as she continued to enjoy the juice.

"Ah fuck" Ellie cursed she felt her finger tips burn. She looked at her right hand realizing she was so lost in thought that her cigarette had completely burnt down.

"I don't want this" Ellie said as she pushed the cup back to Joel before she threw what was left of the cigarette on the floor.

She heard Joel sigh from beside her, as he grabbed the cup and gulped down the orange juice within seconds.

The air around them was silent, the moon was already high in the sky, and the light of the stars filled the air.

It was cold, but what else would you expect in September? September was your favorite month. Ellie remembered the day you walked into her and Joel's house wearing a stupid bee costume.

"Halloween is month away, you idiot" Ellie mentioned as you walked in with a huge smile on your face.

"So? I can start preparing"

"Dude you're literally so fucking weird"

You gave Ellie a small smile before saying "but you love me don't you?"

All Ellie could do was chuckle at your antics before you ran out the house screaming "I'm going to try on another costume!"

She heard the door slam.

"Of course I love you, how couldn't I?" She whisperered to herself.

Ellie was snapped back to reality when she heard Joels voice.

"What?" she questioned.

"Are you going to her funeral tomorrow? " Joel asked again.

"Yeah" was all she responded with.

"Ellie-"

"Don't start with your it's not your fault bullshit Joel"

"Ellie but it wasn't-"

"it was!" She almost yelled.

Joel tried putting his hand on her shoulder but Ellie pulled away. She stomped to the front door of their house before she turned to look at him saying: "it was my fucking fault"

Joels eyes softened, and he opened his mouth to speak but Ellie quickly interrupted him.

"I should've opened the door, but instead I was too busy sucking up to Cat"

Ellie took a deep breathe before she continued talking: "She died because of me"

"Goodnight Joel see you tomorrow" was the last thing Ellie said to him before she walked into their home.

So take me in your spaceship

Throw me up into new places

Blast me into silence

Let your guidance get me through this

Gravity is pulling me

Along and I can't find a way

To understand

Why I'm here again and again, oh

Ellie felt alone.

What she's feeling now is something that she couldn't even describe.

It felt like there was a hole in heart that couldn't be filled with anything, it felt like she was walking around without a purpose, without guidance.She didn't have anyone to talk to since you've left.

Ellie didn't know if she's never appreciated you enough. Or if she ever showed you enough love. But now you weren't here anymore, made her realize all the times she has neglected you. All the times she could've spent with you but she was busy with bullshit.

She wish she could bring you back to life, even if it was just for 5 minutes so that you could fill this hole that you left.

Ellie wondered what it would be like to live in space. Floating around aimlessly, wondering if you might see an alien or two. This is what her grief felt like. Like she was aimlessly living her life, like she was floating around hoping that someone would come fill the hole in her heart.

No hook ups, no cigarettes, an no amount of orange juice could fill her.

She was supposed to remember the good times the two of you had, but it seems that tonight she was plagued by your last moments.

The way you knocked on the bathroom door that night she and cat were hooking up in, the way she heard you crying and knocking on the door, begging her to open up.

All she did was pull away from Cat's lips and she yelled a quick "fuck off" before her and Cat's lips connected again.

She remembered the loud sob you let out after she yelled out you.

At the time Ellie thought you were being overdramatic. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you had a bad hookup, but she never expected that your body would be found 4 days after that.

If she had just opened the door that day, you would still be here with her. You would still randomly show up to her house to annoy the shit out her and leave.

But now here Ellie lays in her bad. All alone.

Without you.

Yeah, she thinks being sent into space would be better than feeling this empty.

I feel like everybody's singing out of tune

I feel like I can't help but always be so blue

But in the end I know I must keep pulling through

And brace myself for all the hell-like petals on the moon

Ellie felt out of place.

Everyone standing outside your grave deserved to be here. But she didn't. She couldve stopped your death, but yet she was selfish.

She wanted to prove to Dina and Jesse that she wasn't in love with you. Everyone in Jackson knew Ellie loved you, but she was too stupid to admit her feelings, like a fucking pussy.

And now she couldn't even tell you.

If she never decided to prove a point that day, if she never decided to even invite you to that party you would still be here with here and this stupid fucking funeral would not be happening.

Her eyes followed the coffin as it was lowered into the ground.

She knew you were in there, but she didn't want to believe it. The girl she was so helplessly in love with was being lowered six feet under for the rest of eternity.

The crowd erupted in the song "Amazing grace". Some people were singing, some people were crying.

This is all her fucking fault.

Ellie heard Joel softly crying from behind her. And all Ellie did was shamefully look away.

She had to stay strong for Joel.

You were like a daughter to him and he isn't taking you death well. As strong as Joel pretends to be, Ellie knows he's struggling.

She knows he started drinking again. She knows he barley sleeps. She knows he's concerned for her mental health.

Did she deserve it? Did Ellie deserve his love and pity after letting you die in such a gruesome way?

Ellie has your blood on her hands, and yet Joel tells her it wasn't her fault.

Feeling cold

Train delayed

You've gone home

And I'm afraid

Helios

Sun divine

Hold me up

Into the sky

Ellie remembers the day your body way found like it was yesterday.

The night after the party Ellie woke up with a pounding headache.

She groaned when she heard Joel barge into her room with a frantic look on his face.

"What do you want Joel?" Ellie asked through a yawn.

"y/n didn't get home last night"

And Ellie immediately sat up.

"What?"

"Where is she Ellie?"

"I-" she opened her mouth to talk but Joel's phone started ringing.

The only memory she had was you crying and begging her to open the door.

Then the search started. They searched every street, every river and every ditch in Jackson to find you.

4 fucking days.

4 fucking days of searching and interviews, and you still weren't found.

Ellie was on a train when it suddenly stopped, she pulled out her phone to text Joel and to tell him that she'd be late to the search that afternoon.

"They found a body, on the tracks!" Someone yelled from the front.

And Ellie's heart dropped to her stomach.

It was yours.

Your skin was cold meaning you had been dead for days. Your beautiful skin was littered with bruises and cuts. And around your neck were hand prints indicating that you had been suffocated.

Your cause of death was suffocating which means you were alive during the torture you faced.

If only she had opened that door. If only she wasn't filled with lust in that moment.

All Ellie could do was look up to the sky and hope that you were in a better place.

Maybe you've gone to that "home" called heaven religious people keep talking about.

Born again, alone again, again

Home again, you're gone again, again, again

Will somebody be there for me when all my friends have left?

Even if I'm undone in the end, ooh

Ellie stared up into the sky admiring the clouds. She walked towards the huge oak tree that the two of you always hung out at.

"C'mon ellie" you begged her one night.

"Dude it's literally 3am"

"So?" you yelled as you jumped onto the bed.

Ellie let out a groan she pulled a blanket over her head.

"We can go the oak tree and tell eachother scary stories" you told her as you pulled the blanket off of her head.

That night as the two of you lay under that beautiful oak tree and she looked over to you and she realized how in love she was with you.

That day changed everything for ellie.

She stood under the oak smiling at the memories.

Ellie climbed up the tree, as she pulled out a rope from her pocket.

You were strangled to death, she will die the same way.

She tied the rope onto the branch, and she slowly climbed out of the tree.

As she hopped out the tree her eyes landed on where the two of you carved in your initials all those years ago. And for the first time since your death Ellie started crying.

All the emotions she bottled up. All the guilt she felt. All the anger she felt just come out.

Ellie fell to her knees and she started sobbing. With tears in her eyes her hand reached up to touch the marking and a new wave of sadness flooded her.

She doesn't know how long she sat there sobbing, but hours must've went by.

Her throat felt raw from all the sobbing, her eyes felt puffy. Her whole face hurt.

Ellie looked to the rope that was hanging from the tree.

She looked at it, and she heard it calling her. The loneliness she felt and every ounce of pain she currently felt will all fall away if she just hung herself. She knew everything would be ok, and that she'd finally be with you again.

Ellie quickly got up and she gave your initial a kiss, before she got the chair that she secretly stole from Joel earlier that day.

Ellie placed the chair below the rope and she got onto it. She out her head through the rope, and she jumped kicking the chair to the side.

It felt like someone had kicked her in her something, the air was completely knocked out of her.

Is this how you felt in your final moments?

Ellie was in pain. Everything hurt. Now she knows what it felt like. What you had to go through. What she had put you through.

Ellie stared at sky as she felt more and more at ease.

The physical and emotional pain she was feeling this entire time was fading away.

Ellie's eyes rolled to the back of her head she took her last breath. Her body went limp.

She was finally put out of her suffering.

And for the first time since your death Ellie felt free.

Who knows, maybe she'd see you in the after life....

Authors note: well idk why all my work has been so depressing but anyway just remember you are loved and go always be kind....

Yours truly,

Zia:)

i love emily im sorry soo much,, do you think u could please write an ellie x reader based on the song night shift by lucy dacus?? i think is a good song to make a fic <3

night shift - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! thank you sm for the compliment! And yes it's literally is an amazing song for a angst fic! I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Night shift by Lucy Dacus, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: sadness and cheating

Summary: In which you were the other women

wc: 1.8k + the lyrics

The first time I tasted somebody else's spit, I had a coughing fit

I mistakenly called them by your name

I was let down, it wasn't the same

I'm doing fine, trying to derail my one-track mind

Regaining my self-worth in record time

But I can't help but think of your other in the bed that was mine

The day Ellie Williams asked you out was truly the best day of your life.

It all started with small smiles, gentle touches and loving gazes. You knew from the first day you laid eyes on Ellie, that you wanted to be with her. And never in a million dreams did you think that you stood a chance with someone as beautiful such as Ellie.

You didn't regret asking her for her number. You didn't regret saying yes when she asked you on a date that day. But the more you think about it, the more realized maybe you should’ve said no.

"Hi I'm Ellie’s girlfriend, is she here today?" The girl asked with a smile on her face.

 oh.

Girlfriend?

Ellie was never mentioned anything about a girlfriend to you.

Fuck.

"Oh hey Cat" you heard Ellie’s voice from behind you. You turned around and you and the autumn brown haired girl made eye contact.

Ellie’s eyes widened when she saw you were talking to Cat, but her shock was soon replaced by her signature smirk.

"Hi babe" Cat greeted Ellie cheerfully "can we talk?" She asked. Ellie gave her a quick nod as she walked out from behind the counter. As Ellie and cat walked away she reached down to grab the girls hand and if felt like you've been stabbed.

You quickly excused yourself and you ran down the hall in the storage room where you and Ellie would always meet each other.

Holy shit.

She had a girlfriend? What? You thought she liked you?

You and Ellie were never official, but you went on dates. You held hands. You kissed her for fucks sake. You were the other women. Ellie didn't care for you as much as you thought. She was using you.

You heard the door handle of the storage room rattle. You looked up and you quickly wiped away your tears: "Ellie?" You questioned, with a hopeful voice.

"No it's me!" You heard Dina’s voice yelled back. "Ellie went home with her girlfriend so you'll have to take her shift"

You let out a sigh as you felt the tears flow freely once again.

 You were supposed to be mad at her. You were supposed to hate her. But you called out for her? You would never admit it out loud but you were actually waiting for her. You were waiting for Ellie to come and apologize and to say that this was all a misunderstanding.  You silently sat there crying.

 You were the other women.

Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth?

Call you a bitch and leave?

Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet?

What was the plan? Absolve your guilt and shake hands?

If you truly hated Ellie like you claimed you did, you wouldn't have opened your apartment door that night.

That one faithful evening in September, when you heard a knock on your door.

“Who the fuck could that be?” you muttered to yourself as you got up from bed rubbing your eyes.

You look over to your phone if see it's 1:00am. You yawned as you walked to the front door. You opened it and your eyes were met with the girl who broke your heart all those months ago.

 The girl you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with.

She looked at you, her normally neat hair was a messy, dark circles under her eyes.

god you thought you looked bad.

"What are you doing here Ellie?" You asked.

She could've come to you a long time ago and suddenly she shows up? What does she want? Does she want to get back together? Is she here to beg for forgiveness?

 "Jesse told me that you were serious when you said you wanted to work the night shift" she spoke, as she brought her right hand up to awkwardly scratch the back of her neck.

 You didn’t know if you wanted to punch her or kiss her.

 Ellie’s gaze fell down to her feet and the two of you were surrounded by silence.

Since when is it so quite at 1 in the morning?

"Why are you here?" You finally asked again.

Ellie looked up at you once again. She hesitated. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. The words weren't coming out.

‘she's so fucking pathetic’ you thought to yourself.

 "Are you here to apologize? To make yourself feel better?", you spoke again.

Ellie looked taken aback, her facial expression morphed into a face of confusion? Hurt? You couldn't tell.

"I love you-" Ellie started, you let out a laugh even before she could finish.

"If you loved me, why was I the other women?" You questioned.

Ellie fell silent. She stared at you. She was at a loss for words. How could you say such a thing? You knew nothing about her situation. You didn't know that she can Cat had been in a loveless relationship for years. You didn't know how much she loved you. You didn't know how alive you made her feel.

Ellie was brought back to reality when you spoke: "You can't even fucking speak to me".

You let out a sigh as you took a step back to close the door. Ellie’s large hand reached out to try and stop it, but you were too quick. You closed the door in her face. Ellie put her forehead against your front door as tears streamed down her cheeks. She heard your voice from behind the door:

"You are such a fucking bitch Williams"

Ellie turned away from your door, her hand gripping her shirt as she started sobbing.

Loud sounds of crying filled the quite streets of Jackson as Ellie stood at your door realizing that she lost you.

I feel no need to forgive, but I might as well

But let me kiss your lips, so I know how it felt

Pay for my coffee and leave before the sun goes down

Walk for hours in the dark, feeling all hell

"I think I should start working the night shift" you told Jesse one morning.

"dude I thought you hated it"

You went quite for a moment. You did hate it. But you couldn't stand working another shift looking at Ellie. Even being in her presence made your heart yearn for her. If feels like you've been starved for years without Ellie’s touch. And you fear that even if your finger just lightly touched her you'd lose your mind.

 You already felt guilty enough when you found out Ellie had a girlfriend, you didn't want to make a fool out of yourself by confessing your undying love to her.

You walked out of Jesse's office and into the locker room. Ellie was in there. You walked right past her, going to your locker you quickly pulled out your bag.

"Wait our shifts are starting right now, where are you going?" She questioned.

"I'm working the night shift from now on" you replied as you made your way to the door. You felt so cold hand grab your wrist and when you turned around and you were met with Ellie’s pleading eyes.

"If you work night shift I won't be able to see you" she spoke softly.

You forcefully removed your arm from Ellie’s grip.

"go see your fucking girlfriend"

You turned away from Ellie, walking to the door and you stopped. It was as if your feet were glued to the floor. You slowly turned around to face Ellie once again.

"I'll never be able to forgive you" you muttered softly and you looked at the girl you had so much love for.

"Please try" Ellie begged.

"I'll leave her" Ellie quickly reasoned with you, to make you stay.

You shook your head as you dropped your bag onto the floor. You made your way towards Ellie as you once again muttered “I can't fucking forgive you" as you wrapped your arms her neck, her lips soon crashed into yours.

The kiss was intense. You've been starved from Ellie, and this was your first taste in months.

Teeth crashing into each other, heavy breathes filled the room, and hands were roaming.

You pulled away and you looked at Ellie for the last time.

Her eyes blown wide, her lips swollen her chest rapidly rising.

 You once again moved from her grip as you picked up your bag.

You stood the door once more. Before you walked out the door you turned to Ellie one last time, giving her a small "I love you" was the last words she ever spoke to you.

Don't hold your breath, forget you ever saw me at my best

You don't deserve what you don't respect

Don't deserve what you say you love and then neglect

Now bite your tongue, it's too dangerous to fall so young

Take back what you said

Can't lose what you never had

You don't even know why you're upset. Why were you so fucking depressed over a relationship that never even happened?

All you do is fantasize over a relationship that wasn't even real.

What you could've been. And you know you were being delusional when you thought you had a chance with her, and yet you still fell for her.

But we all learn the hard way don't we?

You can't be sad over something that wasn't even yours to being with.

All you had to do was suck it up and get to work. You'd eventually get over Ellie. And you'd be happy again, right?

As much as you try to convince yourself, you aren't so sure you can see a happy life without Ellie.

The girl you thought was your soulmate.

You got a 9-to-5, so I'll take the night shift

And I'll never see you again, if I can help it

In five years, I hope the songs feel like covers

Dedicated to new lovers

"Are you sure you want to take the night shift?" Jesse asked you one last time.

"I'm sure" you replied

Even though you hated the night shift it got you away from Ellie. You didn't have to see her at your workplace. You don't have to constantly be reminded about what the two of you could've been.

"Remember Ellie will come in at 9 tomorrow" Jesse yelled as he walked out the front door of the Café. He gave you a small wave, as the bell chimed when the door finally closed.

"yeah I know" you yelled back.

You hoped that one day you'd stop working the night shift.

 And maybe, just maybe you'd be able to move on from Ellie.

But till then you'd rather torture yourself than to be in the same room as Ellie fucking Williams.

Authors note: guess who disappeared and whos suddenly back again? obviously me.... remember you are loved and to always be kind, my requests are always open

yours truly,

Zia<3

Do u think u could write an Ellie x reader story based on the song emily I’m sorry by boygenius TYSMMMMMM I LOVE UR STUFF

Emily I'm sorry - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! thank you sm for the compliment and also boygenius supremacy<3

This story is based off the song Emily I'm sorry by boygenius, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading... Also I did something a little different, I took inspiration from the song, so its not 100% based off song lyrics. The over all message of the song and some scenarios is in the story:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: obsession, stalking, murder, violence, gore, death, toxic relationships

Summary: In which Ellie is fucking crazy

wc: 1.7K

She's asleep in the backseat

Looking peaceful enough to me

But she's waking up inside a dream

Full of screeching tires and fire

We're coming back from where no one lives

Pretty much just veterans

When I pointed out where the North Star is

She called me a fucking liar

Ellie’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. Her knuckles turned white, her shoulders were tense. She stared off into the distance thinking about the situation she found herself in. She started at him through the rear view mirror waiting to see if he would wake up, or if he was dead.

Ellie had been sitting in this abandoned parking lot for hours now. She couldn’t go back to Jackson with Jesse beat up, full of blood and possibly dead. People would ask too many questions. Questions she isn’t ready to answer. She wasn’t ready to face the consequences that were waiting for her back in Jackson.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a groan coming from behind her. Ellie looked over her shoulder and she was met with a bloodied and tied up Jesse looking back at her with tears in his eyes.

 The two started at each other in silence for a few seconds. They both waiting for the other one to say something.

And finally, finally Jesse spoke up.

“Please tell me this is a dream” he looked at Ellie eyes wide, filled with tears. Ellie felt the guilt grow in her stomach as she heard Jesse let out a whimper when she didn’t answer his question.

“Please” he asked again “Please tell me this is nightmare”

Ellie let out a shaky breath before she answered him: “no its not”

Jesse let out a loud sob at her words. Ellie turned herself away from the backseat. Her guilt was already eating her alive, but hearing Jesse fucking sob was not making it easier. Ellie’s hands met with the steering wheel again, gripping it with a tightly once again.

Ellie looked over to the passenger seat and a small smile appeared on her face for the first time that day. You always sat there. You would make stupid jokes that would make Ellie smile like an idiot, how you would always pack lunch for her and leave it on the passenger seat and leaving a note saying “your temporary princess”

fuck. She misses you.

“You’re going to kill be aren’t you?” Jesse asked from the backseat.

“Yeah” Ellie sighed “I have to”

“I won’t tell anyone about this and what you did to Dina”

“I don’t believe you”

“Ellie I know what Dina did to your girl wasn’t very nice but that didn’t mean you had to kill her- “

“Dina deserved to die” Ellie replied quickly “you deserve it too” she continued. She looked back at Jesse when he went silent. A grin appeared on Ellie’s face as she turned the key. The car rumbled underneath the two of them as Ellie asked one last question to Jesse:

 “should I slit your throat or should I shoot your brains out?”

Emily, I'm sorry I just

Make it up as I go along

And I can feel myself becoming

Someone only you could want

Ellie was sorry. She was sorry that on that one faithful night in October that she let you walk out. If she could go back in time she would. She would’ve stopped you and locked you in her apartment.

And as soon as you walked out that door Ellie didn’t hear from you again.

You and Ellie had met at a park. It was the night Cat broke up with her. Ellie remembers sitting at a bench at 3 in morning just sobbing, but then she heard your voice for the first time.

“Hey” you said softly “I don’t know if you’re drunk or if you got your heart broken but here’s a slice of bread”

 Ellie’s brows furrowed and she looked up at you: “why are you giving me one slice of bread?” she asked confused.

“well because if you’re drunk my mom said that a slice of bread will sober you up and if you’re heartbroken then it’s a snack”

Ellie cracked a smile for the first time that night. You don’t even know why you helped her that night.

Sometimes you regret giving her that stupid piece of bread.

Ever since that night you and Ellie practically became best friends. And from best friends the two of you quickly started dating. And you were happy. Both of you were.

Until you noticed Ellie’s obsessive behavior.

Sometimes when you would open the curtains in your apartment you’d see Ellie sitting on that bench staring at your place. There were times you would walk in on Ellie sniffing and sometimes stealing your clothes. You don’t know but somehow Ellie managed to go through every single one of your contacts and calling each of them to ask what their intention with you was.

You couldn’t be with someone tracks your every move, Ellie was suffocating you. And no matter much you loved her, you couldn’t do it anymore. For your own mental health and safety, you decided to leave her.

You left Ellie in October. After dating her for 7 months you couldn’t take it anymore.

Love is a beautiful thing but the longer you stayed with Ellie the more you hated the idea of being in relationship.

And even after leaving Ellie it didn’t stop. In fact, she got even worse.

You wished you never gave that slice of bread.

Headed straight for the concrete

In a nightmare, screaming

Now I'm wide awake, spiraling

And you don't want to talk

Just take me back to Montreal

I'll get a real job, you'll go back to school

We can burn out in the freezing cold

And just get lost

The obsession Ellie had with you was toxic. It was bad for her. It was bad for you.

 Drug addicts would do anything just to get money to buy more. Just get a hit. Just like Ellie would do anything to get a glimpse of you.

She followed you around. Wherever you were Ellie was.

It was a normal Tuesday for Ellie. She hid in her car watching your apartment.

She just wanted to see you. She just wanted a little peek. No matter how small, she just wanted to see.

To Ellie’s surprise she saw you dressed up, in a white pencil skirt, with a black cropped top saying I love pussy.

You walked out the house, and Ellie’s immediate instinct was to follow you.

She knew what she was doing was wrong. It was illegal. It goes against her morals but for you she would throw away everything.

 You walked into a café and Ellie followed you in, she put on sunglasses and she pulled the hood of hoodie up. Ellie sat directly behind you. She could hear everything. As you sat in the café your friend Dina showed up.

 Dina didn’t even say hi. All she did was slap you and accuse you of sleeping with her boyfriend. You didn’t even get a word in. And Dina left.

You went home crying, you sobbed for hours.

How could your best friend accuse you of such a thing?

And Ellie watched you through your window all those nights you cried. The way you beat yourself up over something you didn’t do.

Ellie knows you would never do it.

 She’s always with you, she would’ve know if you had slept with Jesse.

Ellie saw how much pain you were in and she hated it. She wanted to comfort you and tell you it’s all going to be ok. But she couldn’t. All she could do, was go to person who caused you all this pain.

She was going to make Dina feel what you were feeling.

Maybe not emotionally. But physically.

Oh, Ellie might as well pay Dina’s boyfriend a visit.

Emily, I'm sorry, baby

You know how I get when I'm wrong

And I can feel myself becoming

Somebody I'm not, I'm not, so

Emily, forgive me, can we

Make it up as we go along?

I'm twenty-seven and I don't know who I am

But I know what I want

Ellie was a bad person.

She realized she was when she put the blade between Dina’s lips and harshly pulling it that it cut her mouth open. Ellie listened to Dina’s screams. She watched Dina cry and beg for her life when Ellie hung her on the roof. She watched Dina vomit when Ellie forced her to eat raw meat.

 People shouldn’t do this to other people.

 But you were worth it.

Ellie would kill millions of people for you.

She shot Jesse in the head, execution style, as she watched a mixture of brains and blood drip from his skull.

To make things romantic she set them both on fire. They could burn in hell together forever.

Ellie made Dina feel the pain that she put you through. Dina deserved it.

Because of her love for you Ellie became the person she never wanted to be. You made her feel and do things she promised herself she would never do. She was not the sweet girl Joel raised.

It’s all for love. Ellie was doing this all for your love.

Ellie hoped you’d forgive her one day.

She hoped you would come back to her and say I miss you lets fix things.

She wished.

She knows what she wants and she wants you.

She needs you.

She needs you to be happy and safe and that why she killed Dina and Jesse. They threatened your safety. They threatened your happiness.

But little did Ellie know she was the one that sucks the joy out you. And even if she knew she would have not believed you.

Ellie was sorry for scaring you when the two of you were together. She was sorry for the time she almost killed your mom because she got too close to you. She’s sorry that she made multiple accounts on Instagram to tell people to unfollow you. She’s sorry she broke into your home that one night when you took too long to respond.

Her biggest regret was not being sneaky enough.

Emily, I'm sorry

Emily, I'm sorry

I'm sorry

“I’m sorry” Ellie spoke softly as she stood in front of your house.

Ellie doesn’t even know who she’s saying sorry to. To you? For killing your best friends? To Dina? For murdering her? To Jesse? For killing the love of his life or for killing him?

 Even though Ellie was saying sorry she didn’t mean it. The guilt she felt when she had Jesse in the car quickly fell away when she realized who she was doing this for.

Dina and Jesse were parasites. They were dirty people who did nothing but hurt other. They deserved to die. She was happy that she killed both of them. She got rid of the people who was hurting you. And she would do it again and again. You didn’t need to know what happened to them.

Ellie raised her hand to knock on your front door. She knocked 3 times before the door opened, and she was met with your sleep filled eyes.

You looked at Ellie taking in her bloody appearance, you gently shook your head before you asked her: “who did you hurt this time?”

“you don’t need to know” Ellie replied quickly as she walked into your house.

You were never getting rid of her. You knew that. You would live the rest of your life being followed by Ellie Williams. You would spend the rest of your life grieving any friendships and relationship you had. Because Ellie was the only one who stayed. Who survived.

You were Ellie’s girl. For the rest of your fucking life.

Authors note: Dude this story would actually have a good part 2 lmao but anyway remember you are loved and to always be kind.

Yours truly,

Zia<3

Walk with me limit to your love by James Blake so much angst 🌞

Limit to your love - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon, you are so right! This song contains so much in it! I hope you enjoy<3

This story is based off the song Limit to your love by James Blake, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading. Also this story is my interpretation of the song, so bear with me......

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open, feel free to leave one, or just send me a song and I'll go from there:)

Warnings: Cheating

Summary; In which you got your heart broken

wc: 1.5k

There's a limit to your love

Like a waterfall in slow motion

Like a map with no ocean

There's a limit to your love

Your love, your love, your love (your love)

Why would she do this to you? How could she? Were you really that unlovable?

Questions ran through your mind as you stared at the text Ellie sent you. A text message you thought you would never receive from her. The simple text that read: “I’m sorry about everything. Can we please talk?”

Sorry? What could she be sorry for? For leading you on? For lying to you? For manipulating you? For breaking your fucking heart?

Ellie has always been a smart girl. She always knew how to get herself out of situations. Whatever Ellie did, she always had a plan. An agenda with whatever she did. Ellie wouldn’t be sending you a I’m sorry text without having a plan. What the fuck did she want?

You met Ellie through a mutual friend’s birthday party.

You thought she pretty, she said you were pretty. You were so fucking stupid. You believed her. You thought someone like Ellie would be interested in you.

The two of you exchanged numbers and Ellie quickly asked you to be her girlfriend. You were happier than you had ever been with anyone. But the longer you and Ellie stayed together, the more red flags appeared.

Ellie begged you to keep your relationship private, you couldn’t even tell your best friend.

‘Maybe she just likes keeping her private life, private’ you used to say.

Making excuses for Ellie’s mistakes became something you did often. For every little thing Ellie did you always had a reason readily available. That one time she ditched you on your birthday to hang out with another girl, you to think it was an old friend of Ellie. She ditched you because she hadn’t seen her friend in years but little did you know, as you lay there crying, Ellie was tongue fucking her in bathroom of the club. You smelled someone else’s perfume on her that night, but chose to believe it was just because Ellie and her friend hugged a lot.

Around both your friends Ellie wouldn’t even look at you. She couldn’t stand you. She would talk about you as if you weren’t there. You didn’t exist in Ellie’s world.

“Are you guys close?” Jesse asked one night.

“no we’re not” Ellie quickly replied “she’s just a random girl I tolerate” she laughed. You laughed it off. But it hurt. It made you feel like shit. It made you look desperate. It was humiliating.

Confronting Ellie was never an option. Ellie would always say “don’t you trust me?” “I said that to make them think we aren’t together” “baby you know I didn’t mean it”

If she didn’t mean it then why did it hurt so much? Why did she always have an insult to hurl at you?

You chose to ignore the reality. You chose to be delusional and trust that someone like Ellie Williams would ever love you.

During your entire relationship with Ellie there was always something missing. A waterfall that falls in slow motion isn’t really a waterfall. A relationship that has something missing isn’t really a relationship. A waterfall without water makes it completely useless. A relationship without love makes it useless.

Whenever she held you, kissed you or muttered the words “I love you”, it never felt genuine. It never felt real.

The butterflies Dina described every time Jesse just touched her, made you envy their relationship. They looked so happy. It looked real.

 Every time Ellie touched you, it felt forced. You always looked at her facial expression when she hugged you, when she touched you, her would contort into a face of disgust.

You always thought you were dirty, scrubbing your skin till you almost bled before you saw Ellie. Hoping that maybe if you bathed properly that she would finally look at you with love. That she would look at you the way Jesse looks at Dina. But you were never dirty. You were never the problem.

The problem has always been Ellie.

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you realized your relationship with Ellie was one sided. She’d forget anniversaries, she’s flirt with other in front of you because you guys weren’t together in public. You were never a priority.

She didn’t fucking love you. She never did. And she never will.

The day you realized Ellie felt nothing for you was the day you went through her phone. It was a normal Friday night where you would go to Ellie’s apartment for a sleepover. Ellie was in the shower when her phone rang, you heard her scream: “baby who’s calling?”.

You picked up her phone frowning when you saw the name Vicky appear. Her contact name was decorated with hearts.

Why were there hearts? Not even your name had hearts. Ellie didn’t even have your number saved.

“It just Joel” you lied.

You quickly unlocked Ellie’s phone, knowing her password as you usually watched her fingers as they move across the screen. As soon as the phone opened you were met with a chat between Ellie and someone else.

The chat contained nudes. Dirty chats. Ellie was being affectionate. Ellie isn’t even nice to you.

Your eyes roamed on the screen, till it landed on a specific text message that Ellie had sent:

“I love you” Ellie rarely said it to you.

You looked up to the top of the screen seeing its Vicky.

What the fuck

Ellie was cheating on you. And it seemed like she was actually in love.

You didn’t matter. You never fucking did.

With teary eyes, you put off Ellie’s phone as you quietly got off the bed, collecting all the things you’ve kept in her apartment for the last 11 months that you’ve been together. You quietly made your way to the front door, and you walked out. You didn’t look back.

You left Ellie Williams that day. And sometimes you wish you did it sooner.

There's a limit to you care

So carelessly there

Is it truth or dare?

There's a limit to your care

How could someone be so cruel? How could make someone fall in love with you only to break their heart into a million pieces? Who would ever deserve such a thing?

The same way religious people would say, that Jesus didn’t deserve to die on the cross for all our sins, the same way you didn’t deserve to be hurt by Ellie. The girl you thought would change your life.

You haven’t heard back from Ellie since that day you walked out. It’s been months. 7 months to be exact.

Ellie never texted you again. She never asked you why you left. Even when all your friends would meet up, Ellie would pretend that you weren’t there. And it hurt. It hurt so fucking much. Like your heart was being ripped out of your chest and being stabbed over and over again by the same person.

Ellie soon introduced Vicky to everyone. The two of you were almost together for a year and Ellie couldn’t even utter your name, but she could publicly make out with Vicky. It’s funny to think that Ellie was the girl you imagined a future with.

One night you and friends decided to play a quick game of truth and dare. Everyone went around daring each other stupid shit like licking the toilet seat and kissing the prettiest person in the room. When it was finally your turn to ask someone the question, your eyes met with Ellie’s. In this moment you could ask her. You could finally ask her if she really loved you.

Ellie could see it in your eyes. She could see what you were going to ask her and she wasn’t ready to answer that. Because even Ellie herself didn’t know if she ever did. She didn’t know why she even asked you out in the first place.

The words left your lips as the two of you made eye contact: “truth or dare?”

Without hesitation Ellie said “dare”

Fucking pussy.

After 7 months of torture Ellie finally decided to text you. You heard that Ellie and Vicky had broken up recently, so you could only assume Ellie came back because she had no one else to entertain her. Ellie was a whore, and you were pretty sure she’d find someone new soon.

Even if you wanted answers from Ellie you knew you were never going to get them. You knew Ellie would toy with you. She would make you feel bad for leaving her, and you knew she would have you begging for her within minutes.

It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s hard to fall out of love with someone. As much as you wanted to strangle Ellie and cut her tongue out for lying to you, but you knew when you would get a hold of her, you would only want to kiss her. You want her to hold you, and make you forget everything bad that has happened.

But that won’t happen again. You would make sure of that.

You didn’t deserve what Ellie had done to you. You deserve someone who could actually love you. And that person was not Ellie. It never was. The sooner you accept it, the happier you’ll be.

You knew you were never going to get the explanation you craved, you would never know why Ellie limited her love for you. You just hope that you made the right decision by not responding to her text.

Authors note: I love writing angst so much. But anyway remember my requests are always open, feel free to leave one. You are loved and remember to always be kind to one another <3

Yours truly,

Zia :)

I would love to see you write an unrequited love story with I’m not a mountain by Sarah kinsley always gets me in my feels

I'm not a mountain (ellie wiliams x reader)

Hi anon! sorry it took me so long to write this, I couldn't think of a good plot, but I finally got something! I hope you enjoy <3

This story is based off the song I'm not a mountain by Sarah Kingsly so if you can, please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open feel free to leave one!

Warnings: violence and death, Ellie being stupid

Summary: In which Ellie makes stupid decisions

wc: 2.1k

(La da da da da da)

If I could choose the things that I knew

And all the things that I'd see

I'd let the room fill with memories until

The walls were staring at me

Ellie sighed as she opened her eyes. She sat up, bringing her right hand to scratch her head.

She couldn’t sleep. You plagued her mind like a disease. For some fucking reason it seems the memory of you was stuck in her mind.

The way you smiled. The way you laughed at her. The way you dressed depending on your mood. The way you-

 Fuck.

She had work tomorrow. She should be sleeping. But you were running circles through her mind.

Ellie looked at her desk that sat in the corner of her room. She let out a loud groan at the memory of you sitting at the table and looking at her with puppy eyes begging her to go out with you.

You were everywhere. Everywhere she looked, everything in her room had you written all over it.

 Your spirit lingered there.

“What?” Ellie asked loudly as she looked at the stuffed dinosaur you gave on her birthday. “You think I’m stupid too?” she asked as if it would respond to her.

She had work tomorrow she shouldn’t be awake but you.

God you were making it hard for her.

“I fucking hate you” Ellie muttered as she lay back down, bringing the blanket over her head.

She knew she was lying.

She doesn’t hate you. She could never. But she really needed to stop thinking about you.

The mystery of life is just taking flight

I watch the walls closing in

So I swallow my pride and I take another bite

I guess I'm dreaming again

“I love you” Ellie muttered.

 “I know els” you replied with a small smile.

 “please come back” Ellie begged. “I can’t” you simply said, still having that sweet smile on your face.

“No- no you said you would always be here for me” Ellie spoke back tears filling her eyes.

 “things change Ellie”

“no- no please- “

“Fuck!” Ellie screamed as she woke up. It was another fucking dream.

You already haunt her with the memories the two of you have together, now you were showing up in her dreams.

 She couldn’t escape you.

She wanted to hate you. She wanted to blame you for everything that went wrong in her life. But she couldn’t because all of this was her fault. It was her fault that you left. It was Ellie’s fault that you died. But she couldn’t accept it.

It was as if you were still here. Barging into her room with that stupid smile of yours saying “look what I have els”.

But you weren’t there anymore. The only thing left was the memories. And countless dreams Ellie has of you.

Ellie finally understands what people meant when they said you never know how much you truly love someone till you lose them.

She wishes she could go back in time and tell herself to wake up and to tell you how she felt.

How much she loved you. How much she appreciated you.

But you were gone. You were never coming back.

I swear I'm unattached

Living in the past but

I can't get off my feet

You say we'll all go mad

But I don't believe that

So you'll prove it to me

Ellie always knew she had a crush on you.

She remembered the day she and Joel walked into Jackson for the first time. You stood behind Tommy with wide eyes looking at the two of them.

Ellie’s first words to you were: “you have a staring problem or am I just that beautiful?” and you replied: “I think I might have a staring problem”

And since that day the two of you were inseparable.

You both followed each other everywhere. Where Ellie went, you were always there. Joel knows if he ever needed to look for Ellie, she would be at your house. People would even joke and say the two of you were sisters. That how close you were.

When Ellie realized she was in love with you, she was 15.

 You were helping her at the stables with her horse Shimmer.

“You think shimmer is a cool name?” you had asked Ellie

“No I would’ve named her something space related”

“Mars”

“What?”

“I think you would’ve named her Mars”

“How did you know I was gonna call her that?” Ellie questioned puzzled

“Because you’ve been talking about Mars for the last 2 weeks”

“You listen to me?”

“Of course I do Ellie. What friend would I be if I didn’t listen??

And in that moment Ellie knew you were the one for her.

Years went by and Ellie’s crush on you grew. She would never admit it out loud but she would sabotage all your relationships. When you brought someone home, or when you tell Ellie you went on a date with someone she would find the person and threaten them.

She would tell them to stay away from you.

Her girl.

You never knew why your relationships never worked out. You really thought there was something wrong with you. But little did you know, it was your best friend who got rid of anyone that was interested in you.

Ellie smiled at the memory of the two of you talking about changing Shimmers name. Ellie brought her hand up to run her fingers through Shimmers mane.

“You miss her too?” Ellie asked the horse but she received no answer.

“Well I miss her” Ellie spoke softly.

 “You look like shit” she heard Jesse’s voice suddenly talk from behind her.

 “shut up”

“when was the last time you got some sleep?” Jesse asked, seriously concerned about his best friend.

“That’s not important”

“Ellie- “

“Jesse drop it?” she spoke through gritted teeth.

Jesse let out a sigh “we’re all worried about you Ellie?”

 “I don’t fucking care” Ellie snapped, as she got onto Shimmer “I’m not in the mood for your pity. Now shut up and get on the horse”

Jesse let out a defeated sigh as he hopped on the horse.

“Let’s get this over with”

(La da da da da da)

If I could choose, I'd never lose

I'd always take without giving

I wrote down the truth in letters to you

But I know you'll never get them

The air surrounding Ellie and Jesse was tense as they rode in silence.

“It’s Wednesday” Ellie suddenly said.

“You want to visit her?” Jesse asked.

 “Yeah”

“we all miss her Ellie” he started “It wasn’t your fault- “

“it was” Ellie cut him off “If I didn’t kill her girlfriend she would’ve not left Jackson and she wouldn’t have died”

“Why did you kill Abby?”

And Ellie fell silent. She killed Abby because she was in love with you. She had to do something. She remembers the day as if it was yesterday. Abby was your longest relationship ever. Ellie had told the blonde to stay away from you multiple times but she didn’t. She stayed with you.

Ellie’s hatred towards the girl grew when the two of you moved in. You were happy. You were happier with Abby than what you were with her. You even started hanging out less. Ellie was losing you, and she didn’t like it. You belonged to her. No one else. But yet you moved in with someone else.

You had never given Ellie an indication that you liked her. Every time she would try and flirt with you, you would just laugh it off and say: “very funny Ellie”. Every move she would try and make on you, you would either laugh it off or ignore her.

One day Dina said “you guys would make a cute couple”

Ellie felt heat spread across her cheeks. She was probably as red at a tomato. Before Ellie could say anything you let out a laugh saying “me and Ellie? Never in a million years” you laughed.

Ellie cried. She cried for weeks. She even tried avoiding you, but like a moth to a flame she always went back to you.

When you started dating Abby she was filled with jealousy. But she had no right to be jealous. You weren’t even together.

One winter night, a night Ellie knew you wouldn’t be home, she decided to pay Abby a visit.

“What are you doing here?” the blonde asked her. “I’m here to make peace” Ellie lied. Abby let her in with a shocked expression.

“I’m actually surprised” Abby spoke, as soon as she turned her back towards Ellie, Ellie pulled out a knife stabbing the blonde in the back. Abby let out a groan, as she turned around to face Ellie, the knife still in her back. When she faced Ellie, Ellie brought out another knife bringing it into Abby’s stomach. Abby’s eyes widened, blood slowly dripping from her wound. Ellie watched as Abby’s eyes roll to the back of her head before she heard your voice.

You weren’t supposed to be here.

“Baby do you think I’d look good with- Ellie?” you asked, surprised to see her here.  Your eyes moved from Ellie to your girlfriend bleeding. The dark red liquid already decorated the floor.

And sadly Abby passed away a few hours later due to blood loss.

What Ellie did was unforgivable. She murdered the love of your life in cold blood. “forgive and forget” they said.

You weren’t sure if you could ever forgive or forget the murder of your girlfriend. The girl you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. And what makes it worse was that it was your best friend. The girl who was supposed to comfort you. The girl you trusted with your life.

You hated Ellie. You really did.

“Jesse, can I go talk to her alone?” Ellie asked.

 Jesse gave her a sympatric smile: “yeah go ahead I’ll be here when you get back.” Ellie hopped off Shimmer and she started walking up the hill.

 When she eventually reached the top, a single cross decorated the hill. You name carved onto it. There were fresh pink flowers, Ellie could only assume Joel must’ve been here.

“Hi” she spoke softly as she approached the grave. Ellie sat down in front of the cross, her legs crossed. “It’s been a while” she chuckled “you really have to stop appearing in my dreams I’m tired as hell, even Jesse noticed I don’t sleep” she laughed once more.

“I got you something” Ellie spoke. She pulled out a pile of letters neatly folded. “You’ve been gone for 203 days she stared. I wrote you a letter for each day.” She spoke softly, afraid that she might wake you up and scare you away. Ellie gently placed the stack of letters beneath the flowers.

She hoped maybe the letters would break down and sink into the ground, and that maybe you’d read it. Or maybe your spirit would come down and read them. She hopes you’d somehow read them and understand why she did what she did. She did it because she loved you.

Ellie has many regrets in her life, but the biggest one was, letting you leave Jackson, without her telling you how she felt about you.

Before Ellie got up she brought her lips to the cross, giving it a gentle kiss. “I’m so sorry baby” Ellie spoke and she got up and left to continue patrol with Jesse.

If I were a mountain, I'd stand my ground

And maybe I'd never listen

But if I were a mountain, I'd close my mouth and

Maybe I'd be forgiving

But I'm not

I'm not

I'm not

I'm not

When Ellie found out you had left Jackson it felt like whole world was being ripped apart.

“What do you mean she left?” Ellie yelled at Maria.

 “Ellie she has nothing to live for anymore, it’s better that she goes out and finds purpose”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“You killed her girlfriend Ellie, you are the last person she wants to see”

Ellie was going after you. She was going to tell you how she felt. She marched out of Maria’s office and ran straight to the stables, hopping on Shimmer.

“Which direction did she go?” Ellie asked one of the guards at the gate.

“She went north” he replied.

“C’mon Shimmer move faster” she begged the horse.

There was still time she could still get to you, and convince you to stay. Ellie would finally reveal how she truly felt about you. She could tell you why she killed Abby. She would make you understand.

Ellie and shimmer were running for a few hours before her eyes landed on a familiar backpack. Ellie hopped of her horse, she pulled out her gun walking over to the pink and purple backpack that you carried everywhere with you.

As she approached the bag she heard the sound of a clicker.

*click, click, click*

 Ellie turned her head to the direction of where the sound came from and there you lay.

 Lifeless.

Ellie let out a scream and the clicker looked at her, and it started charging towards her. Ellie shot it at point blank and she ran to where you lay.

 “No” she breathed as the tears rolled down her cheeks as she walked towards your body.

There was blood everywhere, she almost didn’t recognize you. You were bruised. Covered in blood, scratch marks littered your skin.

Ellie went down onto her knees as she took you into her arms, and she let out loud sobs.

 This was all her fault.

I'm not a mountain

I can't hold you on my own

I'm not a mountain

I will crumble when you go

There in the square, my arms in the air

And is it so bad to be alone?

I can do it on my own

Is it really so bad?

Is it really so bad?

I can do it on my own

How do you continue living if you lost the love of your life?

Ellie understands now how it felt when you lost Abby. She now understands why you left Jackson.

You were lonely. Empty.

 Ellie stood at the gates of Jackson. She sees no point in living here anymore. Everywhere she looked she saw you. Every place had a piece of you and she got sick of it.

Ellie wanted to be ok. She wanted to feel like herself again. She wanted to forgive herself, but she couldn’t. So she’s running away from her problems. Like a coward.

As Ellie walked in the woods she thought to herself, maybe being alone won’t be so bad. She won’t have Jesse or Joel breathing down her neck constantly asking her if she was ok.

Of course she wasn’t fucking ok, why do they keep asking?

Ellie saw a familiar hill, and walked up to it. The letters she’d placed were still under the flowers someone had left.

Ellie lay next to your grave, hoping that someone would come and kill her. Maybe in the afterlife she could tell you how much she loved you.

And hopefully you’d forgive her, and she’d finally get the happily ever she’s always dreamed of.

Authors note: this was long oneeeeee, I hope you all enjoyed, remember you are loved and to always be kind…. My requests are always open feel free to leave one:)

Yours truly,

Zia<3