I Feel Like I'm Gonna Cry Rn Eheh (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) - Blog Posts

@fenicearts420 , @alelathedragon , @runrabitrunrunrun , guys...

I...

Thank you

Truly, thank you

.

I wasn't sure if I should've even posted this... Please don't read it if you don't feel like it. I just... wanted to vent my frustrations at least somewhere rather than keep everything inside

I helped out a friend. Well, at least I considered him one. Half a year ago he asked me to lend a bit of money. I don't have much myself. The only source of my own income is a 36$ stipend. I don't currently have a job and I live with my parents, but their income plus mine is enough to give the four of us stable and happy life. So out of pity and kind heart, of course I helped him, because it felt like he needed it. He promised to return the money. He didn't. I asked what was wrong and for my money back, because I needed them. But he just ignored my messages.

Now, after going MIA for half a year, he returns. Apologising. And asking for more money yet again. I already told him my frustrations about his inappropriate behaviour, for which he apologised yet again and told me how his life was rough, how he got his money stolen when being away on a sports competition and he wasn't able to return home, how he needed to sustain his girlfriend (and now, how it turned out, a wife) and pay rent and his parents and noone helped him. He has a normal job. He knows how much I earn.

I wanted to believe him. But my trust was seriously wavering. I gave him money. The last one for food that I had, because he was assuring me he'd 100% return it tomorrow before evening. I chose to believe him. The next day I starved. Now I don't have money for food for the end of the week. He said his paycheck got delayed, even sent a picture of the paper, said he'd give back tomorrow. I chose to believe him. I was left with nothing again.

There's a lot of emotions inside of me right now. I feel hurt, betrayed, angry, frustrated and more. I told him everything about how I felt and afterwards decided to block him. I'm tired of his empty promises.

But I also feel said, because, like, he wasn't like this before. We met eachother in a small organisation (that I'm not longer in), he was a fun, energetic, open boy, and we quickly connected with eachother. We smiled and laughed at jokes, did assignments together, I joyfully cheered on him on a dance competition. I remember him as a good person. But then he comes with this.

It left me confused and hurt... What could've happened? Why did he act like that?? Why did he say all of this? Was he even telling the truth? I really don't know...

Now I feel bad. I'm still confused. Something like this never has happened to me before. I don't know what to do... I just... *sigh*...

Am I doing something wrong?...