Jesus Fucking Christ - Blog Posts

You ever open social media and just *cry

So, I said that someday I’d upload ref sheets for my marvel ocs, but I never guessed that it’d be all at once 💀💀💀

here’s a summary of each (heads up folks, I’m pretty sure I wrote the sequel to The Bible)

Marley Underwood: She’s just a fangirl character I made for Smokey. I like to imagine she runs a blog or something dedicated to her. She likes to hang around the arcade that Cami works at, who is rather fond of the kid.

Captain StinkBomb: He’s an experiment like Rocket, being number 89R14. He snuck off the Higher Evolutionary’s ship and fled to Counter-Earth, where he lived his life as a small farmer in the woods. That was until the guardians showed up and CE blew up. He, obviously, was upset and blamed the guardians for what happened. Now he lives his life as a space pirate until Rocket met him and they became friends.

Chris Caleb/The Brown Recluse: I made a post a few months back with his story and spider suit, but basically, Chris was an orphan bitten by a radioactive brown recluse. Because of the untreated spider bite, he developed gangrene, but because of the mutation, any part of his body that rotted off instantly regenerated. He was adopted by my universe’s Doc Ock and became a superhero, all though, most of the crimes he stops are usually his dad’s.

Dom Lee Cho/The Sun God’s Disciple (hero name is still a WIP, would love better suggestions): I don’t have too much of a story, but basically, Dom was chosen to be next in line as a disciple of Haemosu, which is the Korean Sun God. His father, who was the previous disciple, was murdered by a jealous follower of Haemosu. Dom is hesitant to take the title, insert something about generational trauma and legacy, yeah…it ain’t much, but it’s honest work.

Miguél Rodriguez/NightVision: So, Miguél is basically an ex-con who is trying to get his life back together. He gets a job at Crystal Corporations, a tech company trying to change the world as we know it. One day, while cleaning up, Miguél finds mysterious crystal shards in the trash behind the facility and decides to take them back to his apartment so he and his roommate, Archer Dodge, can mess around with them. Realizing that the crystals have powers stored in them, Miguél takes this as a sign to become what he’s always wanted to be, a superhero. He and Archer work together to create NightVision and Miguél becomes a sorta micro celebrity in NY. His boss, a shady businessman named Giovanni, finds this out and coaxes Miguél into working together, making Miguél a poster boy for Crystal Corp. Giovanni, like any shady white guy businessman, is basically stealing Miguél’s hard work and claiming it to be his own, and when Miguél tries to call things off, Giovanni blackmails Miguél into staying with the company through Miguél’s criminal records. Miguél breaks things off and his crimes are exposed (I’m still wondering about the crimes in question) and Giovanni becomes the new “hero.” Looking more into Crystal Corp and its business practices, Miguél realizes that Crystal Corporation is using these crystals for Evil Shit (tm) so now it’s up to Miguél to take down the company, which he does, but Giovanni dies in the process. This leads to Miguél having an opportunity to become the new president of Crystal Corp. He rejects this, however, and gives the title to the Giovanni’s assistant, Sook Lee Cho (who happens to be Dom’s sister omgggg)

CatFish: There isn’t much of a story to CatFish yet, but here’s what I have so far. CatFish, legal name Kenny Campbell, was a kid growing up in the ghettos of Detroit. He lived with his single mom, who was an asshole to him, and never really cared for him, especially when he started questioning his gender identity. Because of this, CatFish would always get involved with gang violence and other legal trouble. This continued until an attack on the US was made from HYDRA, and a 10 year old CatFish was met with Dr. Edward White, who claimed he was part of a rescue team that was trying to help the children in the war. Of course, Kenny was actually experimented on and became the way his is now. While living his life in Project K wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, he’d rather be there under the command of Dr.White rather than go back to his mom, wherever she was. I mean, Dr.White was even nice enough to let Kenny transition, so how bad could he possibly be?

Amar Bucciarati: Born in a small town in Spain, Amar was either always bullied or babied for his blindness. He couldn’t go out without a ball to the face, or a kick to the shin, and he couldn’t stay in without his family trying to coddle him and do everything within their power to “cure” him. He couldn’t stand it. All he wanted, just once, was to be treated like a normal person. When he was 8, his town was attacked by HYDRA, and was left alone in the rubble of his home until Dr.White came to help. He was experimented on and developed telekinetic abilities. With these abilities, Dr.White taught him how to become stronger, and use his skills for spatial awareness to help him see. Since then, Amar has been nothing but loyal to Dr.White, and will always be White’s most faithful soldier.

Dr.Edward White: So, this is the moment you all’ve been waiting for. So, Edward was born in Tennessee as the younger brother to Chris White.

Growing up, Eddie was always an outcast, often being seen as “weird and creepy” compared to the charm of his brother. Home life wasn’t any better, with an abusive father and an exhausted mother, Eddie was always seemed invisible. He found one thing he loved, which was science. He always flourished in school, and was on his way to change the world. He became obsessed with the idea of superheroes, and wanted to,not be them, but make them. This obsession made his family rather…uneasy. Everyday Eddie would always talk about how he wanted to experiment on people, studying the human body and it’s limits, even going so far as to take live animals and “work” on them. This continued all the way up into his adulthood, being a successful geneticist and biologist, while his brother became a famous football player and was married to his wife, Clara, a nurse. On April 12th, 2005, Clara have birth to a beautiful baby girl, which the couple decided to name Camellia Anabelle White, the first name being after the flowers they were so lovingly given to them during their honeymoon in Japan. Eddie couldn’t explain it, but he felt such a deep connection the moment he laid eyes on his niece, one that he knew he wanted to keep. When Camellia, shortened to Cami, was growing up, her and Eddie became inseparable. Eddie would always teach her how the world works and take care of her when babysitters or her parents couldn’t, and would always indulge in listening to whatever his niece was fascinated with at the time.

The two would often visit an open field filled with colorful flowers and waste the day away with bliss until it was time to go home. If he wasn’t by Cami’s side, Eddie was at work. He would continue to conduct his superhero experiments at a little facility called HYDRA. If he wasn’t there, he was posing as a scientist for the government, and feeding the information back to HYDRA. One year, Dr.White got word on the possibility of certain people having a certain chromosome mutation that would grant the person superpowers, these people were known as “Mutants.” When the US found out about their information being sold to other parties, there was talks of war looming over the world. Eddie knew this, and used it as an opportunity to start funding a facility that was designed to continue the education of children in case war was coming, this building was known as Project K. Still hiding as a weasel for HYDRA, Dr.White was assigned a new task, “Make sure the war happens.” He and other scientists would start causing havoc amongst parts of the US, trying to provoke the government into war. Looking at all the people that were affected by the destruction that was being, Dr.White got an idea. “With the new research we’ve gotten on superhuman abilities, why not run experiments on the children of the war?” It sounded insane, ludicrous, but Eddie had an explanation. “People are always hesitant to war, but the children? The children would go out and fight anybody that took away their homes and families without hesitation! As for our opponents? What kind of monsters would they be if they were to hurt such sweet and innocent souls?” As crazy as Eddie was, he was also a genius. This was when Project K became a breeding ground for mutant experiments, where damages would be done, Dr.White would take the children, and run experiments on them. This pattern continued until White was given another idea. What’s stopping him from bringing Cami into the mix? August 19th, 2011, Cami was left at home with a babysitter, staying up late to watch her dad play in the championship game. She wanted to go, but her parents all wanted to keep their daughter out of the presses. Both Cami and her babysitter watched the game, cheering for the girl’s father…until an explosion went off in the center of the field, then another in the crowd, and another, and another, until the cameras shut off and the TV cut to static. Cami, being only 6, didn’t understand what was happening or why her babysitter was making such frantic calls to her parents. She only realized what happened when a tearful Uncle Eddie came home, but her parents didn’t. Eddie took her in to Project K, a few months after the funeral, and ran tests on Cami. The first thing Eddie needed was a blood sample from Cami to look into her DNA for the now known X-Gene. Unfortunately, she wasn’t compatible, not at first. Eddie remembered research he’d done on mutants and called back to a serum that would make people with a recessive X-Gene into a dominant one. He spent weeks perfecting the formula, and finally out Cami under the needle, or needles. He ran test after test on her, putting her body through straining tasks that not even adults could handle (if you’ve seen Deadpool, YOU KNOW)

Finally, Cami gained the ability to control fire, and what a glorious flame it was. Eddie continued getting kids and running tests on them, the facility now more productive than ever with the new serum being used, and started training the children to use their new abilities for combat. This was when he would then send out kids 12+ to their first battles in the now ongoing war, dubbed WWX. This wasn’t enough for Eddie, however, he wanted to aim even higher, and so, started running tests on his top soldier, Cami included, to push them to their genetic limits. These new types of mutants were called “Provectus,” meaning advanced in Latin. With the difference between them and normal mutants being that they now have a new subset of their original powers. This sparked another building called “Provectus Mundi,” or “Advanced World” in English. Where it was Cami and 9 other kids being held as the most dangerous of Dr.White’s army. Eddie and Cami’s relationship would continue to strain until a 15 year old Cami was snooping through old files in her uncle’s lab and found an audio recording of the night where her parents died, the night where Dr.White killed them. Eddie attempted to explain himself, manipulating her into staying quiet, but Cami wasn’t having it. She burned Eddie alive, leaving him disfigured so severely, that he had to replace parts of his body with tech. This lead to Cami wanting nothing to do with her uncle, refusing to listen to him any chance he got. Which, in turn made Eddie upset. In his mind, what he was doing was all out of love. After a mission, it was reported that Cami was MIA and Eddie was LIVID, going off in the rest of his niece’s team. This disappearance caused him to go off the deep end, becoming more violent and aggressive than normal, even at his angriest. He even went as far as to give himself mutant abilities just for a chance of growing strong enough to find Cami. This time period was also when he started research on another concept that had been swimming in the back of his mind since the beginning, the multiverse. He finds Cami in the current MCU timeline and starts building his own machine to successfully travel through the multiverse, finally being able to see his niece again. Of course, this doesn’t necessarily work. With Cami finding her strength and beating the ever loving hell out of Eddie, getting other mutants to slowly take apart the original Project K. Before his last breath, Eddie looked his niece in the eyes and squeaked out his last words

“I love you…so much Camellia…”

o

oh uh

hhhhhhhmmmm

uhhhh

tylenol 🤘

WAIT I WATCHED THE LAST TWO MINUTES.

MADDIE?????????? HELLO?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM GONNA FUCKING KMS WTF

You have GOT to be FUCKING KIDDING ME.

there is no way.

THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY.

WHAT THE FUCK.

WHAT THE FUCK???

William and his daily struggles.

Just saw an instagram reel where this girl was showing a cup cover she uses to protect herself from her drinks being spiked and all OF THE MEN IN THE COMMENTS WERE MAKING SUGGESTIONS FOR HOW TO SPIKE THE DRINK WITH THE COVER ON

FUCK THESE FREAKS

I’M SO SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING MEN CRY “not all men” WHEN THIS IS THE SHIT THAT GOES DOWN ON SOCIAL MEDIA

you were kind; i was cruel

THIS IS WHAT THEY ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE HOLY FUCKING FUCK

FUCK silverfish

They tried to move him, drag him away from the unmoving boy lying before Steve but he couldn't move. His legs numb beneath him as he sat there staring at the blood covering his tank top unsure if all of this was even real but eventually the sirens got closer and the fire began to spread far too close for comfort. That was when a fireman appeared urging him to get out, to leave before his lungs gave in to the smoke but Steve couldn't leave him to the flames. He deserved better than that so he stood up but before he could be ushered towards the exit he leaned down and lifted him into his arms.

His legs weak from exhaustion, his head aching from the drugs and injuries but he walked through the smoke. Through the blue emptiness with no one but the boy he loved curled into him as if he were just asleep. Nothing but the flashes of red and blue to lead the way until finally he felt the cool breeze of the night air and he stepped out of the Mall and the smoke, into the commotion going on in the parking lot.

No one rushed to him or took Billy from his arms. In fact no one even looked his way as more men rushed inside to put out the fire they had caused. For a moment he wondered if he was the dead one and if this was hell but even hell would not be so cruel. He lay Billy down on a stretcher and watched as he was loaded into the back of an ambulance, Max by his side. Not a word passed between them but a simple thank you from the girl who was grateful that he hadn't left him inside. Shock still in full affect until he walked through the door of his bedroom and felt the reality of it all come crashing down.

Billy was gone...

I’M STILL ALIVE DW

Snuddy (Snail buddy) air dry clay, old crusty acrylic paint and high gloss varnish

Got bored during quarantine and accidently created Holy water, literally.

PSA

avoid conforming to traditional gender norms by avoiding this common palette:

try using these palettes instead!!

I accidentally spent too much effort on this shitpost so now I'm forcing y'all to witness this masterpiece

(This is based on a joke from the official sky discord server btw)

still kind of insane to me that people talk shit about jiang cheng without fully understanding what he has been through so lets just understand what his mental state is like BEFORE canon begins:

born via a dysfunctional marriage to be the sect heir

father doesnt care for him, mother expects too much from him/everything he does is not enough

has his three dogs just kicked out randomly with no notice because of some kid he's never heard of by the father who never gave him love and/or attention

said father then favours this kid more than him, to the point that the entire world basically thinks that this kid is biologically your father's son as well, which causes even more family dysfunction

despite this still learns to love this kid as his unofficial brother

works his absolute hardest but is always second-best because his new shixiong is naturally talented

nobody appreciates the hard work he puts in at being second place despite the fact wwx literally doesnt work hard for it

masks his emotions with anger as a coping mechanism to minimise the amount of hurt he feels

ok great so now lets actually take all of the above and apply this mental wellbeing to canon events FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE (keep in mind this is literally what jc is seeing/experiencing because he DOESNT KNOW what the reader knows):

brother is off being the protagonist and getting in trouble and gets their sisters marriage ruined

comes home from a year away and then almost immediately has to go and be a hostage where brother continues his protagonist behaviour

gets trapped and nearly dies in a cave with a 400-year-old monster, is in charge of finding a way out and making sure everyone else escapes

brother and a guy who maybe hates him get stuck behind in the cave so now jiang cheng has to boost it home ON FOOT, without food, to get manpower to rescue them, which takes a minimum of a few days likely without any food or sleep

no appreciation or thanks for doing that since brother was more heroic and killed the 400-year-old monster

gets scolded by his father for being annoyed by this

parents immediately get into another fight about father loving wwx more than jc

because of the above shenanigans their sect is targeted next

tries to defend brother against being whipped to death and/or having his hand cut off by mother

witnesses his entire sect being burned and murdered

loses both his parents

decides to sacrifice himself to save his brother's life, instead of dying he is tortured and has his golden core melted

on top of his inferiority issues, the ONE THING he was expected to do was be the sect leader for the yunmeng jiang. the sect that no longer exists. he is now a sect leader with no sect and no golden core. no shit he wants to mcfuckin die

miraculously gets a new golden core but loses his brother

immediately plunged into a war and he's only like 17

spends 3 months trying to find his brother only for his brother to show up doing the Forbidden Magic and necromancy which is Super Disrespectful in their culture like holy shit what are you doing

brother refuses to use his sword in favour of the Forbidden Magics and kind of keeps undermining jc's orders as sect leader which makes jc look weak in front of all the other sect leaders when he's actively trying to rebuild their sect and be respected as a leader

fights a war for [handwaves] an amount of time, certainly a few years minimum, while watching his brother descend further into Unhealthy Behaviour but brother refuses to do anything or talk about it

ends up lowkey being a war hero

the other three great sects (of which there are now only four) swear brotherhood, leaving out ONLY ymj/jiang cheng, which, what the Fuck dude

is now a teenager who has lost his parents who now has to rebuild his sect from scratch with fuck all money, supplies, and support

brother, who promised to always be at his side helping, is not helping, and in fact is actively just getting drunk and being a nuisance and STILL REFUSING TO SAY WHY

entire cultivation world starts to turn on his brother who is now looking like a loose cannon bc he has Forbidden Magics that are Terrifyingly Powerful and also it has been proven that he does not give a fuck about jc's opinion since he's constantly doing whatever the fuck he wants

literally out of nowhere said brother decides to piss off everyone, start fights, and then KILL JIN GUARDS at a camp and MAKE OFF with like fifty people who are part of the family that he just fought a war against and were responsible for slaughtering his family/sect

go to the terrifying haunted mountain where wwx and the wen remnants are and sees that he's essentially starting a new family with a kid and crops, doesn't seem to care that jiang cheng is still trying to keep the ymj afloat and look like they have any strength

brother is still doing Forbidden Magic and refuses to explain why, and now says he'll secede from the ymj so his bad reputation doesn't reflect on jc like he HASNT BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE TIME

so now shixiong wants to just abandon jc completely after jc has lost his parents, had to rebuild everything from scratch, while ignoring the promise he's made their whole life? ok fuck you

jc also can't defend him in public because that would turn the ymj into a target and please keep in mind he is a teenager who was expected to do this ONE THING by his parents and he has poured his heart and soul and blood and tears into rebuilding the ymj and they are So Vulnerable Right Now

uhhh what the fuck suddenly wwx kills their sister's husband ?? bro what the FUCK?

everyone rallies to go and attack wwx for this and again jc literally cant do anything about it and refusing to go will just make everyone assume he's on wwx's side and their sect can't afford to be attacked rn

bro what the fuck now THEIR SISTER IS DEAD?????

oh even better now said brother is DEAD

jiang cheng literally has NO ONE LEFT. no friends. no family. no parents, no siblings, everyone he knew growing up is dead. its literally just him and his infant nephew, who by the way, is living with the sect who are the most powerful and also most likely to be super fucking shady so jc has to tread very carefully

so jc spends over a decade raising his nephew ALONE while trying to make ymj powerful and also hunting/killing demonic cultivators that now p much only exist bc his brother invented/popularised the technique

oh yeah and also this whole time the guy who maybe hated his brother is now like EVEN colder and more antagonistic towards jc like it was HIS FAULT that wwx is dead? get fucked lan wangji you didnt even like the guy (or if this is cql/untamed canon: you literally did nothing either so where do you get off on acting like you're better than jc)

over a decade passes and suddenly his dead brother is alive again and causing more problems and acting like the things he did were not major contributors towards jc's entire family and sect dying

More Political Drama Happens and jc has to manage it

suddenly its revealed that the guy he's been co-raising his nephew with is the major villain who caused the entire world to turn on wwx in the first place oh and also it turns out that the fucking miraculous core jc has IS HIS BROTHER'S, WHO NEVER SAID ANYTHING, AND THIS IS THE REASON HE STARTED THE FORBIDDEN MAGICS AND STOPPED HELPING AROUND THE SECT, but he didnt even BOTHER to tell jiang cheng about it

by the way did i mention this was done via an entirely unconsented experimental surgery

and now the brother of the doctor who did the unconsented experimental surgery is ?? mad at jiang cheng about it ???? like he was supposed to KNOW ABOUT THIS when wwx was KEEPING IT FROM HIM ON PURPOSE???

and now theyre all nearly dying in this dumbass temple - and the ONE family member jc still has is literally being threatened with a garotte

oh cool now jc's brother is saying forget the past let's just leave it all behind !!! as though THAT ISNT JC'S ENTIRE LIFE AND TRAUMA and the ONE THING he EVER wanted was for him, wwx, and jyl to be alive and happy, and now wwx is saying just forget it! like FUCK YOU???? does jc truly mean NOTHING???????

oh and now his brother is off gallivanting with the guy who hated him - who it turns out doesn't hate him - and now they're getting married

and jiang cheng is meant to just. pretend all of this never happened and live his life normally. while wwx is out there. being happy and married.

like... if you can read all of this and still treat jc like he's the bad guy, i'm sorry, but you have literally zero empathy. dude had it probably more rough than any of the other main ensemble cast, and i am including jgy in that, because jgy Made His Choices. jc literally just had to let things happen around him helplessly

Bells Hells animated intro!

Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven