Lucid Dreaming - Blog Posts

very bad nightmare

Hey guys,

I ended up having a very difficult night last night, had a couple nightmares, but one specifically happened after I woke up at 4:25 am

my cat had been chewing on my draw strings so I tried to pry his mouth open (they are plastic and falling apart, I didn’t want him to choke) and he bit down on my finger and it started bleeding a lot so I got up and cleaned the bite

Normally, after waking up early and walking around for 5 minutes and then going back to sleep leads me to having prophetic dreams or lucid dreams, last night was prophetic and unfortunately a terrible nightmare to wake up to

I don’t want to get into it too far, but it had a people from my CR who are currently going through something difficult, and in the dream they were suffering from something/someone else I know

after having prophetic dreams I wake up with intense worry and a pushing feeling to check in on them, I can’t with one since they are in the hospital

I’m going to consult my tarot deck today to get some more information about whether it was prophetic or not, and what I can do to help or stop/lessen whatever is coming

I might post my spread and the meanings behind the cards

I hope you all have blessed days 🫶

dream journal: entry 1

february 5th 2025

As I said in my pinned, I'm interested in using the lucid dreaming method to shift, so why not use this blog as a dream journal too! Surprisingly to absolutely no one, here I am sharing a dream that may or may not tie with my symbol of fear dr!

← previous [pinned] || next [entry 2] →

This dream was actually pretty fucking sad- I woke up somewhat disoriented because I was super tired and then I was extremely sad because what the fuck brain?

It wasn't a lucid dream and maybe it was better that way, I wouldn't have known what to do- I'd have probably panicked and woke up anyway. I was my dr self and I remember being…somewhere with the lov? I have no idea where we were to be honest. Basically we were ambushed by pro heroes. I don't know how this happened, but suddenly we were trapped in a 'metal box'. It was pretty spacious inside, but suddenly there were just four of us: me, Dabi and some other two that I don't recall at all. And quirks didn't seem to work there either.

And you know that thing in dreams when you know things even if you shouldn't? Yeah, so apparently the heroes had the 'brilliant idea' to try and kind of negotiate(?) with us and then help us in some way, which doesn't sound too bad, but the execution was absolute dogshit. They thought that by reconciling with the person/people who hurt us would help us kind of calm down and we'd be more willing to trust and listen to them. Well that went horribly-

They couldn't bring anyone in for me- they probably could have went with All Might, but they didn't. Kotaro was dead (and they didn't know about him anyway) and bringing in All For One would've been the stupidest thing ever (also they just couldn't- like why would he ever side with the heroes and ruin his own plans?). So all I could do, since my quirk didn't work and I was all skin and bones, was watch what the hell was going on.

Not even a minute in and immediately Dabi and Endeavour are at my right, screaming at each other like there's no tomorrow. I didn't do anything at first because, again, quirks didn't work and Endeavour could've destroyed me with one hand, but when I finally decided to step in the scene changed kind of drastically. But before that, let me explain what was going on a little better:

Apparently in that 'room' everyone's quirk didn't work, including the heroes'. In fact, Endeavour didn't have his usual flames surrounding him, which I thought was a little strange but maybe they wanted us to feel like we were equal. Both of their designs weren't 100% perfect, especially Dabi's. He was a mix between a younger and older him, if that makes sense. His hair was grey, the damaged skin looked a little healthier than it was supposed to be and his clothes were a little bit on the lighter side. Their argument was, unsurprisingly, about how Endeavour was the worst possible father (and husband) on the fucking planet. At first it was pretty generic, but then Dabi quickly began talking specifically about what he did to him. I specifically remember hearing something about how he didn't feel and wasn't seen by him at all and how shocked he was that, despite being right in front of him, he still felt that way. Endeavour didn't care about his identity at all, he cared more about his job at that moment. He was also being pretty fucking hostile (verbally), raising his voice and shit.

So when I decided to step in I took a few steps forwards, trying to get closer and maybe set myself between them, but Endeavour literally disappeared into thin air. I remember immediately turning towards Dabi and he had an extremely distressed look on his face. I instinctively opened my arms to offer him a hug and he basically threw himself at me. And oh, he cried so fucking hard- I was hugging him and rubbing his back trying to calm him down while I heard him bawling his eyes out right next to my left ear. It was fucking soul wrecking to be honest (can't wait to shift and, once we meet and get closer, hug him :'D)

Not too long after this Dabi vanished, but Endeavour reappeared. As soon as he came back literally everyone, villains and heroes alike, was looking at him like "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

I also remember yelling something at Endeavour, but I don't remember what it was to be honest.

And then I woke up- this dream didn't have the right to make me feel this shitty, I've been thinking about it all day😭🙏🏻

i had a lucid dream last night. tbh i forgot exactly what happened, but i remember walking into my bedroom and it being weirdly clean. so i pinched myself and it obviously didn't work, so i tried again on my thigh and realized i was dreaming. But didnt do anything about it... what a waste

Guys.. I had a dream that I remember fully,

it was me playing tf2 and of course I was medic and I was running in the bad lands by myself until a scout started to chase me, then he cornered me and he was about to do something to me, and I was scared, but than a heavy came and saved me and beat up the scout, then I was happy and gave heavy a hug.(mind you I could feel everything in the dream😭)

Guys, No way I had a dream last night that I was on the phone talking to Robin Atkin downs..

I THINK I HAD A LUCID DREAM

Idk what I did or what exactly was happening tbh, I just remember I was having a normal dream (all my dreams are kinda semi lucid idk how to explain) and at some point I was on the living room with my mom and she asked me something I cant remember, then I answered something like "yeah but this is just a dream" and then it kinda hit me and I realized I was dreaming

I don't remember how it felt, it was really weird and to prove I was dreaming I said to my mom (she wasn't believing bc dream people are like that) "if this is a dream I'll be able to go through this wall" and I simply walked through the wall

Last thing I remember was getting really happy and waking up, but a win is a win ig

( void state update - 04 )

I FUCKING UNINTENTIONALLY ENTERED THE VOID WHILE I WAS FUCKING DOING MY FUCKED UP HOMEWORKK ❓.... I'm going crazyy 🤸🏻

AaAaaAaaAAAaaaaAwelpp

Y'ALL 🫵🏻.. BETTER BE READY FOR MY SUCCESS STORY 👏🏻💅🏻💋!!

Got sucked into those 2021 dreamcore videos on TikTok and it got me wondering if anyone's ever tried shifting to the backrooms before

AND HEAR ME OUT!!!!! I was on TikTok during 2020-2022 and they were both trending at the same time!!!! Is shifting real?? Idk, but if jellyfish are real and space is also a terrifyingly real fucking thing I don't think it's out of the question 😭😭

This morning I realised I was still tired and could go back to sleep and try something. I'm not sure why, but for some reason I picked doing SSILD cycles. Well they sure worked. I had so many lucid dreams in a row, as well as another false awakening. If I could just get better at stabilising the dream I could be walking through portals every night.

LETTING GO

i've talked about this a little bit in one of my other posts, but I realized this was a very important topic — especially for people like me out here, who might've had a hard time with this concept, and so I wanted to expand on it and give my own two cents.

the concept of "letting go" has been taught to most — if not all — of us by life long ago before any of us even found shifting. if you don't like a situation, "let it go". do your best, and "leave the rest and don't fixate on it". if someone you love doesn't respect you, "let them go". anything that doesn't serve you, "let it go". this is the one advice that got many of us through different situations. but everytime I ever came across a post saying "let go of your desire and watch it come to you", this quote always came to mind.

honestly, I couldn't for the love of God even think of letting go of shifting. I simply didn't want to. it felt like a betrayal to all the people I wanted to shift for, to myself, to my dreams — everything. I would think to myself "how do I not care if i'll shift or not? how do I not care about all these people in my dr I want to meet? I want to care. I have people I love, people I want to see, so how can I not care?", and it would make me so upset because I would see people talking about how they let go of it and it came to them. it almost felt like it was wrong to love, to care, to cherish this opportunity, and to want to be excited for it. I didn't want to "let go" and wanted to keep on holding forever. but then, I realized what the problem was. it wasn't my loving too much, caring too much, or anyone else's "letting go" of their desire to shift. the problem was my idea of what "letting go" means.

in any "normal" situation, "letting go" would mean "not caring" or "not giving your energy out where it isn't respected or celebrated". but. and a big but. when it comes to shifting, "letting go" has a totally different meaning.

• "letting go" in terms of shifting

to me, when it comes to shifting, "letting go" isn't about having an attitude of "if I shift, I shift. if I don't, I don't". while this can help some people, it's fairly hard for others to follow, because some of us WANT to shift and not even think about the "don'ts". so what letting go meant to me was being content where I am, because I knew that sooner or later — I will have what I want, because it is mine, and to stop trying to "make it happen" and simply just let it happen. because i'm a staunch believer that anything that happens, only happens for my own good — always, and if I found shifting, it was for a reason.

now, one could argue that both are the same, and I cooked nothing (lol). and yes, they might be. but. and a big but again. the difference is you CAN care about the people you want to shift for. you can be chalant, you can be obsessed with your dr, your s/o, anything — everything, and still shift. the point is being content. and you, yourself, have to give yourself the closure that whatever you want will be yours. because the feeling of being content always comes from within. don't force it, and take time to give yourself this closure. and care, and be excited, and be assured. you can be all of these things at the same time.

and if you're afraid of it being "not meant for you", then my dear friend, if it wasn't meant for you, I promise you, and I swear to God, it would've never found you. not in this lifetime, not in a million others. never. not EVER, okay? so rest assured that it is a hundred and ten percent meant for you. so, you don't have to grip it so hard you leave claw marks on it. it's right next to you, and that's how it'll stay. and if it "wasn't meant for you and still found you", it would've gone by now. it wouldn't have stayed. so "let go". be at peace. your dr awaits you, and you're going to make it.

and that's all. once again, if you don't understand anything, and want me to clarify, feel free to reach out.

what kind of posts would you guys like to see from me?

filler bi han image #2 !!

im is gonna lucid dream either I shift while I am or I don’t I’ll thug it out (cry)

filler bi-han image 😞

wishing safe travels to all my reality shifters, time travelers, lucid dreamers and astral projectors tonight, be safe out there , don’t tell the dream people you’re dreaming and try to avoid the astral police as best as you can, and remember that you can exit the spirit realm whenever you want to as long as you intend it.

as i sit here and hear the news of a death in my life i yearn for the void state more than ever. I have my 17 page google doc, I have the drive, I hear the stories of us needing more money, I just need it all to change. i’ll do every method in the book if i have to. I know i am capable of great things. i know i’ll succeed.

OMG YOU GUYSSSSS!!! This is my first time making a dr from scratch, like my own characters and plot line and everything. I’m writing the dialogue and stuff and I KNOW THIS DR IS GOING TO EATTT LIKE I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS READING THIS!!!!

I don’t see enough people talking about shifting to mangas and manhwas. Me personally i love the idea and i already have 2 scripts, one for a manga and one for a manhwa

when u decide to change something big about your dr after thinking about this dr for weeks >>>>>

Absolutely no one:

Me: scripting a deep British accent on my s/o just cause even though my dr has nothing to do with British people.

yall I had a lucid dream last night and obviously I could do anything

fucking anything and what do I do with the amount of power I have?

i go to school and turn a guy in my class into a fish and beat him up.

Message and image by me

Mastery in the Making: Why Traditional Practices Take Time and Patience for Real Results

A lot of the things that we're trying to do in this community right now to shift reality are things that other traditional systems of practice already do. They have different names, they have slightly different goals, they have different explanations of how they work, but at the end of the day, the methods are similar.

For example, lucid dreaming and astral projection are already practiced by wizards. And meditation and purification are practiced in Tibetan Buddhism and others. The practices of visualization, concentration, intention and suggestion are practiced by Tibetan Buddhists, Indian yogis, and modern wizards. In the case of the Law of Assumptions, it's in all of these traditional practices, just with different names.

I would ask you to focus on the “average person” and not the “special few” because if you are reading this right now, you are one of the “average people” and not one of the “special few who succeed.” If you are an “average person,” then you need to see what applies to the “average person,” not what applies to the “special few.” So, what happened when the “average person” did these traditional practices, and how long did it take?

As one of those ordinary people, I have tried these practices in practice, and I have verified that they do indeed work if you put in the effort. Even if you don't see immediate results, if you just keep repeating them, they will happen. However, I have found that to really get the tangible results you want from these practices, you need a very long time of practice… years of intensive practice, 10+ years of practice…

I'm not trying to discourage you, I'm just saying that the “instant or at most a few weeks” success that is commonly claimed in the community is only valid in a special subset of cases, and not in general. I knew that eventually I would get better and better and succeed if I continued on this path. And for some reason, I don't know if it's because of this, but most of the teachers who guide practitioners are vague when asked how long it takes.

I've only recently heard from one of them that it takes about ten years to get really noticeable, concrete results, so they're always lulling their students into thinking, “We're almost there,” so they can just keep quiet and just keep practicing.

So, I want to tell you this: you will succeed, that's for sure. All the methods really do work, but it takes a very long time to get concrete results. So, like other practitioners, I recommend that you let go of your expectations of results, whether they work or not, and just practice silently and steadily every day. If you stay on this path and don't give up, you will eventually reach the results.

A man used a wristband to help him have lucid dreams

One person I know wears a wristband that tracks his REM sleep stages. He sets an alarm to go off when REM sleep starts. He recorded his REM sleep for a few weeks, and when he figured out where he was most likely to wake up in the middle of the night, he would wake up. Some interesting things to note is that when he stopped lucid dreaming for a few months because of his job, he started having black and white, blurry dreams like everyone else. However, after about a few months of trying to lucid dream, he said his dreams became as vivid and colorful as before. However, he was a bit extreme, waking up at the crack of dawn and extending his sleep by almost 12 hours a day to have more lucid dreams. He also seems to have short dreams of a few minutes to a dozen minutes. So he said he would sleep more during the day to have more dreams.

I Lucid dreamt yesterday, and here's how it's different from shifting.

(p.s // I literally love Kate Bush)

HI LOVES.

Lately I've seen quite some toxicity in the shifting community, thankfully not so much in Tumblr but in tt and others, mostly people saying how Reality Shifting is just lucid dreaming.

So I was bored yesterday and I decided to lucid dream, which was something I COULD NOT DO AT ALLLLLL when I was younger, but guess what? That mindset click I did last time, I did it again for Lucid dreaming and mf I had one last night, and here's how this post alone can maybe make some of y'all anti-shifters aware how the fuck y'all are deluded (I mean you're the one stuck here not us- sorry.)

I got in a dream, at one point realized it's one, by counting my fingers, saw I had 12 or some shi, I was like "ooo bitch I'm dreaming?"

I just walked around my house in that dream it was fun af, but now's not the time to talk ab it, I didn't do much, like I said I was on a mission to understand the difference between shifting and lucid dreaming.

Lucid dreaming felt... Fake, no seriously, like when you're in it, you look at yourself, around, you get the complete knowledge that, yes, this is all fake, y'know? Like your body part might look crooked, your vision is hazy.

Like it's almost close to the feeling of looking inside those memory things in Harry Potter, I forgot the name 🧍🏻‍♀️

Things don't sit well, you pass walls, you float, you run slow, you get me? Muffled sounds and voices, and most of all, pass a year there and when you wake up it feels like three seconds.

Shifting?

God knows, YOU know it's somewhere, like the ground is firm, the people are really people going around their lives, you look completely human and law applies there.

There's no haziness, everything is bright and vivid as though it is your life, your thoughts are simply the same as your waking self, you walk normally, you hear things, and most of all? You taste them.

The most difference was the time it felt, like I said, spend a year in a dream and you'll wake up feeling it lasted three seconds, spend a year in a different reality? Wake up actually having one year worth of memory and life.

Do you understand how close you are? How you literally are one second away from touching them? From feeling them? From having your head on their heart hearing them beat gently against your ears? Or not for love, but how close you are to walk in the grass breathing in the smell of fresh mornings? Knowing you finally made it?

Xoxo, Coco

Edit// here's how I lucid dreamt

Just before sleep I set the intention of being aware in a dream, and repeated the number "5" before sleep, I actually was saying that to wake up at 5 and do some wake back to bed thing but it made me see the number 5 in the dream which made me look down at my fingers, so yeah.

shifting diary entry #14

4/27/25

࿔ this morning i woke up about and hour or two before my alarm was supposed to go off and when i went back to sleep at some point my dream began to be about shifting.

࿔ i was talking to my sister and she confessed to me that she was going to start shifting again ( she knows about shifting and after she shifted once a couple years ago she decided to not do it again )

࿔ i thought that i should probably give her some advice and thought to tell her things like you don’t need a method, you can use one of course but it’s not necessary. shifting isn’t physical, it’s mental. i talked to her about letting go, and that all shifting is is becoming aware of different circumstances, a different reality.

࿔ she confided in me on her views on shifting, which were probably just mine anyways.

࿔ then she just told me comforting and motivational words. told me she believed in me and that she knows i can do it too. ( which isn’t the first time someone in my dream told me this )

࿔ i’m not entirely sure what to make of this, but i wish i didn’t wake up in the middle of it probably was gonna be a another dream where i subconsciously tried to shift

04/21/25

shifting diary entry #13

if someone has any advice please share. i could really use it.

yes, this is my billionth post about this topic, but it keeps happening so what is a girl to do……..

i am always dreaming of shifting. dreams of me thinking i’ve shifted, dreams about my reality’s, dreams of my s/o….. and it’s honestly just getting to a point of frustration and pain. like i physically feel this just absolute gut wrenching pain bc of my longing to be somewhere else. i feel sick. no matter what i do it feels like some sick and twisted game my mind is playing.

even last night i had a dream about shifting and my s/o. from what i remember i was standing in a school gymnasium with a group of people. for reasons i don’t know/can’t remember, a panther of sorts was now there and someone was just having their villain monologue moment and i’m not really sure what they were on about. what i do know is i started to panic, i was told or just somehow knew that this creature would harm vampires….. so i went searching the room for my s/o to get him out of there. i remember feeling so scared, even more so when i found him in the crowd. i told him that we needed to go, now. i basically started dragging him out of there. at a certain point he just picked me up and started saying to me “ it’s okay, it’s okay my love, it’s nice to be chosen. ” ( crying and throwing up btw ) and it was just such a vivid dream, his voice in my ear and him brushing the tears off my face….. then a thought popped into my mind as he carried me out of there, what if i shifted rn, in this moment ? i remember feeling a bit frightened but it just washed away bc he was just comforting me….. and my hands were in his hair and he was whispering and the next thing i knew i was just in another dream sequence and i just thought to myself that i almost shifted and i told my sister this in the dream???? SICK AND TWISTED EVERYBODY………..

and pretty soon after that i woke up and tbh i just started crying and it was so strange honestly and i couldn’t stop thinking that despite the fact the he was the one in danger he was consoling me :/

i just don’t know anymore, i don’t know what this means, i just don’t want to feel like this anymore. so if anyone has advice please share bc i don’t really talk to anyone about shifting other than my sister and she’s not a shifter…………… so she just kinda sits and stares at me while i talk.

i had at least three dreams i shifted last night

shifting diary entry #12

as per usual i’m asking things like “ why do i keep dreaming about shifting ” or “ why do reality checks fail me sometimes ” feel free to analyze this for me because i have no idea…

the first that i can remember… i don’t know if i unconsciously tried to shift in a dream and then believed that i shifted or what, but i do remember waking up in a bed with purple sheets and thinking that i shifted because of them ( i don’t have purple sheets here ) and i remember thinking to myself that even though this one thing changed im sure i shifted, but i was in a completely different room yet under the impression this was my room here just with purple sheets.

and here’s the craziest part, i did reality checks and they failed… i looked at my hand and counted my fingers and all ten were normally there. this isn’t the first time it had happened either, reality checks have failed me multiple times before. now, some people might think that it’s possible that i actually shifted but i know for certain it was just a dream.

after counting my fingers i started freaking out and thinking to myself that i actually did it and pinched myself just to be sure and i “ felt ” it. but i also remember thinking to myself that things didn’t feel as real as i thought they would. i mean it’s just another reality right ? i remember thinking that maybe people were lying or something because this doesn’t feel as real as life here. i thought maybe i just needed to be grounded more but as time passed the weird hazy sensations of dreams stayed.

for some context my sister was sleeping in my bed with me and when i woke up in my dream she was there too and im pretty sure i told her that i shifted. but eventually she just kinda disappeared from the dream and i started thinking to myself that i can’t stay long bc i need to tell her that i shifted… which also has happened to me before.

the dream ended up turning into one where i was around people in my intended reality and this is where it gets really fuzzy and i’m having a hard time recalling what went down, but im not sure it’s important anyways. but i do remember that this dream was long as hell.

the next one i really can’t remember at all but i do know it happened bc i vaguely recall trying to shift in a dream and then it “ worked ”. but i think the dream was really short and i woke up really confused with what i just dreamt about and why, why do i keep dreaming about shifting ?

the last one is also confusing. i remember there was a person in the dream i was talking to about shifting and trying to figure out why i haven’t shifted yet, but she gave me awful advice lol. things that would just make things more complicated than they needed to be. i also wasn’t even telling her things that were true, things that weren’t correct about where i was shifting to and where i was gonna wake up? the dream turned really weird and had like 1578 sub plots going on but this girl seemed determined to help me, im not sure if she did though.

also, two days ago i took a nap and ended up in a lucid dream and then tried to shifting in it like a billion times…

Lucid Dreaming and How to Enter the Void

This is probably the easiest, most effective, and yet the hardest way to enter the void. What is this method? Closing your eyes during a dream. If you close your eyes, your dream will disappear and you will be left in the void state. This is easy enough but the problem is acctually being aware you're in a dream. This is where lucid dreaming comes in.

I'm sure most of us know what lucid dreaming is so I won't go too into it but basically, lucid dreaming refers to a dream state characterized by the dreamers’ awareness of being in a dream and being able to control its content.

There are many methods to lucid dream and I want to direct everyone to this super helpful document by @kiramizukiii. This is a more in depth guide into lucid dreaming and lists many ways to induce a lucid dream. However, I would like to pull on my own experiences for this. My own method to lucid dream is using this subliminal. I just listen to it a few times (roughly 5 to 6 times) before falling asleep and I get lucid dreams everytime! I highly suggest everyone to atleast try this subliminal.

Once you're lucid dreaming, you can either close your eyes and be left in the void state like stated above or create a portal for the void and enter through that. Here is a post about creating portals but personally, I never tried it but if you think this method is more suited for you, I suggest looking into the post.

Hope this helps 💗

How I lucid dream multiple times a week

As a disclaimer I've always had extremely vivid dreams and nightmares and even had spontaneous lucid dreams even though with low lucidity and dream control. These are the steps I took to have regular lucid dreams with high lucidity and good dream control:

DREAM JOURNAL. Almost every signle day I would write down as much of my dreams as I could remember. My sleep is not very deep and i tend to wake up a lot during the night. Everytime I woke up I would write the dreams I had on my phone, if I was too tired I would just write some keywords and then write everything I could remember about the dreams in the morning.

DREAM SIGNS. When journaling my dreams I would always add a section at the end called Dream Sings in which I would note things that are either recurrent in my dreams or absurd enough to only be able to happen in a dream. Example: A monster was chasing me in a house with long corridors and many doors DREAM SIGNS: i was beign chased (recurrent dream sign), there was a monster (absurd dream sign)

REALITY CHECKS. Everytime I experienced a "dream signs" I would perform a reality check. I personally count my fingers as a reality check or I try to fly off the ground. If I count more or less than ten fingers or if I am able to fly I know that I am dreaming.

CLARITY / DREAM CONTROL. Once I know I am dreaming I calm down and try to ground myself. To stabilize and increase clarity I do thing like spinning around or rubbing my hands together. I also sometimes say "Increase clarity" outloud. I try to think about things of increasing complexity to increase my lucidity and I keep remining myself that I am in a dream. To ground myself I also try to engage my five senses especially by touching things around me. I have not pefected dream control yet but I can do basic thing like flying, perform magic or summon objects and people.

Another thing that helps me to lucid dream more often is thinking about lucid dreaming during the day. I have tried shifting thorugh a lucid dream countless times but I have never been succesfull unfortunately. I will probably start to document my shifting attempts through LDs!! If you have any tips they are more than welcome!!

୨୧ ・。・。・shifting diary entry #10

why do some people end up not shifting to their DR ? ・。・。・୨୧

{ disclaimer: i understand the kind of question i am proposing. i am fully aware that every one is different and so is their shifting journey. nonetheless, i’d like to share my thoughts and experiences. }

i've always wondered about this. if shifting is so easy, why does it seem that so many struggle? of course i understand that something may be universally simple to do but for some that may not be the case. but my question still stands, even in my own journey.

now for some context. the morning i wrote this i was quite tired when i woke up, i was trying so hard not to go back to sleep but ultimately failed. this experience shares some similarities to my last post where i shared how i thought i almost shifted via lucid dreaming. this morning after i fell asleep, i was constantly slipping in and out of consciousness. the whole thing felt like it was going on for so long, when really it was probably only thirty minutes.

from the get go i began trying to shift to my desired reality. it was hard to even tell if i was awake or asleep most of the time. but on multiple occasions it felt as though i was moving into a different position. it was such a confusing experience, i tried multiple times " i'm in my DR, i'm in my DR, i'm in my DR... " visualizing my room... at certain points it seemed like i was pulling my room together, with my eyes closed a light began to form on my right. other times it seemed no matter what i was in the same place in my mind.

at one point i even began to astral project/dream that i was. (i know little to nothing about AP, but i'm pretty sure i was just dreaming). i felt like i was floating up in my room and looked down to see my body on my bed, but it only lasted maybe five seconds before i snapped out of it.

my point to sharing this, and what happened to me the morning of christmas, is that my experiences like this are more than i can count. experiences where after i'm thinking to myself " hey! how did that not work??? "

so often (especially since september) i have many dreams where i try to shift through them, but to no avail... so many dreams where i am not even lucid and i'm subconsciously just trying to shift (?). dreams where my subconscious is basically pointing and yelling at me that shifting is inevitable for me (i wish i was exaggerating). dreams of my DR, dreams of my s/o, on and on again.

and i'm left heartbroken in the end... " why in an altered state of consciousness where i don't need to have worries of my body, my surroundings, am i not there? " now it just feels like i am haunted by my desire to love and be loved.

some days are easier than others, yes, but this question is still stuck in the back of my mind. perhaps dreams are not the way for me, i've definitely thought of it a time or two. then i let it go... but my dreams have always stayed with me, a constant reminder. if i am aware of my dreams so often... shouldn't i use that to my advantage?

i will persist of course, but i've been lost for some time.