New Study Blog - Blog Posts

june 3 | i made a thing today! 

Welcome to the studyblr community and good luck with your Abitur!💖 (And I feel honored to be one of your fav study blogs!🥰 Feel free to dm me anytime if you need any help or encouragement! I know that the last year of high school is rough sometimes)

Introduction 🌸

Hi! I wanted to introduce myself to the community, so that I can hopefully make some moots and that you know roughly who I am. :>

Classes started today here! So I decided to start a studyblr to motivate me to actually study regularly and to keep me accounted. Feel free to interact, so that I can check out your studyblrs ;)

About Me ♡

Name: May (just a nickname~)

Age: 19

Pronouns: she/they

Grade: 13 (senior in high school)

Queer

Germany

Classes

Hobbies

I study AP Biology, AP Chemistry, AP English, Math,

Religion, Politics, German and Japanese Culture~

Although I will only be taking the first 5 classes in my A-Levels (Abitur) :)

I love to read! Especially fantasy novels and queer novels~ Further, fan fictions are a guilty pleasure of mine. Feel free to recommend me either :) (even if my to-be-read pile is continuously growing)

Cozy video games help me unwind from my day. Currently, I mostly play Breath of the Wild or Stardew Valley (always open for more reccs)~

I also spend most of my days just listening to music! My taste ranges from songs from musicals to 50s rock. So very varied xD Again, feel free to recommend me more! I'm always open to expand my taste :>

Occasionally, I also turn into a grandma and crochet haha. Although, pretty sure I've only actually finished like 3 projects- Oops~

Goals and Dreams

I am preparing to study medicine at university. While my grades are good, they aren't good enought to get accepted. But I'm planning on taking the TMS (basically the German medicine test) after my A-Levels and also gaining experience through internships.

I also want to focus on improving my mental health and my relationship towards myself. I recently got diagnosed with depression after finally seeking help so I'm trying to adjust.

I hope to improve my grades this year especially in Chemistry and in written Biology.

I want to read more generally as it has always been a great help to me especially mentally.

What to expect

weekly study updates

reblogs

occasional pictures

daily updates (might not be as regular?)

My favourite studyblrs ❤️

@stillinthelibrary @medstudentblues @mal-studyblr @wecandoit @apoetsparacosm @ckmstudies @sub-at-omic-studying @live-musingly

Now before I tell you about some of my favourite studyblrs that inspire me, I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to get to know me:> Always feel welcome to slide into my messages and chat with me!

I've been on and off on Tumblr so most of these blrs are ones that I've only followed recently~

So beware of the @

I hope you have a great day and thanks again for reading~

Hello everyone! I figured I'd make the first post on my blog an introduction (I apologise for any mistakes in my writing, English is not my first language).

I'm Pearl, I'm 18 and I'm currently in my senior year of high school. Hopefully this October I'll be a med school student (so this blog will, for now, mainly be dedicated to my preparation for the entrance exams).

I love Biology, music, Robin Hobb's books and I sometimes draw.

I look forward to meeting the many amazing people in this community!

12/5/19

Got some motivation to work so I’m going to run with it until the discipline has to take over

Edit: my stupid ass got the date wrong haha

11/4/19

Mindmaps make everything look so much more manageable

Today has been really productive. I went to school for two hours for some biology revision and then went to meet a friend for lunch. It was such a lovely day that I chose to walk the hour back home rather than catch a bus so I could listen to the audiobook version of Nineteen Eighty Four. However, as punishment for being healthy, I now have blisters on the soles of both feet :(

Revision time!

ft tea and toasted hot cross buns

5/4/19

I’m still alive!

27/3/19

Coordinate geometry with circles!

I love overcomplicating things, apparently! Anyhow, I got the right answer so I’m good.

Happy Wednesday :)

Aphantasia

Story time! I don’t have a mind’s eye. In fact, I think the notion of anyone having a mind’s eye is bizarre! I thought it was normal - until I realised it’s not. Not really. It’s kind of funny, then, that the only trophy I’ve ever been awarded was one for a piece of descriptive writing with no physical stimulus.

It’s not that I don’t have an imagination - I do - but the scenes unfolding in my head are behind a closed curtain, and I am the wrong side of it. There’s a bundle of energy in the back of my mind I can feel as pictures paint themselves... suggestions of movement in dynamic scenes, perhaps. Or maybe it’s the frustration that I. Can’t. See. Anything!

I sometimes wish someone would lift the veil; that they would let me imagine those sandy beaches everyone is supposed to envisage - let me find my “happy place”, which will forevermore be a black and lonely void.

But most of the time, I am glad I am blind to the canvas up there. It has made me sensitive to the nuances of language and I am always looking to appreciate every detail I lay my eyes on. Even if my mental arithmetic is shocking and I can’t describe my mother’s face, it’s part of me. And every time I place my eyes on someone, I get to appreciate anew all the things that make them beautiful.

If I want to remember something and be able to look back, I just have to take lots of pictures :)

22/3/19

Real studying is messy

Also if you haven’t heard Lewis Capaldi’s “Grace” I THOROUGHLY recommend you do because it is amazing

Happy Friday folks! Enjoy your weekend x

18/3/19 Essays in the fading light

So my mental health is struggling but I am self-aware enough to know that and I am actively getting some help because I don’t want a second bout of severe depression HOWEVER I know that my stress is transient and I will have the summer to recover. It isn’t worth destroying my brain and wellbeing for A Levels!

I decided to just write a plain old paper essay for German but then quickly remembered I can’t double tap the pen to erase my mistakes sooooo Tippex is my friend!

12/3/19

Transition metals are legitimately so interesting! I feel like I’ve got stuff done today.

Happy Tuesday :)

11/3/19

I’m really happy with how today has gone. I’ve had two hours of French and an hour of Biology, and then started these notes in one of my frees

Happy Monday 😊

10/3/19

Gotta love that NMR!

Also can we appreciate those perfect hexagons because it took ages to draw those ahaha

Have a great Sunday!

5/3/19

Photosynthesis is so interesting! I still can’t believe that lowly plants and even cyanobacteria harness the energy of the humble electron to power this stuff. It’s so intricate

Edit: this app is called Notability for anyone wondering!

4/3/19

I hate electrochemistry so much but I’m trying not to make life harder for myself by creating a mental barrier

2/3/19

Sorry for a the long absence!

So I have the flu and am sofa-bound but not even an uncomfortable illness can keep me away from Les Liaisons Dangereuses. It’s all written in letter form so I can read small chunks at a time.

So if you’re not familiar: this is an 18th century scandal among the Parisian aristocracy. The two main characters basically plot to exploit a young, newly-engaged, fresh-out-a-convent virgin girl and her fiancé to bring shame upon their names all because said fiancé rejected the salty antagonist. That is MAJORLY oversimplified but the gossip in here is very juicy haha

Have a great weekend!

Walking home from a long day at sixth form

Ft my old primary school :)

I did a lot of reading today and caught up with my old head of year.

The weather is gorgeous but it should NOT be this hot in February :(

Break the problem down

From personal experience, life is hard and stress hits you like a tonne of bricks. Exams are coming, deadlines are forever nearing and you feel like one thing is coming at you after another and you can’t possibly finish all this in time to the best of your ability but omg everyone will be mad or disappointed if you don’t and AHHHHHHHH

Stop that.

When you are overwhelmed by stress and believe you cannot possibly succeed, face that shit objectively. Write your stress source down or talk it out and belittle it as much as you can.

For example: “holy shit I have to sit an A Level in Maths and I’ve been learning the content for less than a year all on my own. I don’t have many practice materials and that shit looks hard. I will run out of time because I also have 4 other A Levels to sit and I will fail.” (Me irl bc I’m crazy)

Becomes: “It’s a few questions on a sheet of paper. All you have to do is work on your weaknesses. You should make a timetable to prove to yourself you have time. It’s not A* or bust - do your best.”

Because that’s all it is. Take the emotions away from the problem. Temporarily take everything that’s riding on that one thing away and strip it right back to what it’s really about. Make yourself believe that it is not above you. Once you convince yourself you can do it, actually doing it becomes a hell of a lot easier.

*I’m not saying those things are not important or not a big deal. I’m saying for the sake of your sanity, make it manageable.*

Good morning, sunshine!

My eyes snapped open at 7:30am so I figured I’d have a wash, stretch out my aching muscles and do some maths. After this I’ll go and grab some breakfast :)

It’s finally half term so the pressure is momentarily off and I can catch up on all my outstanding tasks.

I feel like I’ve achieved a lot in the past couple of hours I’ve been up!

Have an amazing day!

8/2/19 Chemistry :D

I hate surprise tests but I know I need to start revising now so that’s what I’ve been doing all evening. Now I’m done I can finally sit down with the book I’ve been wanting to read all day!

I love that feeling of being so absorbed in a book you don’t want to ever put it down. I’ve finally found pleasure in reading again - something I lost when I found out aphantasia wasn’t something anyone else I knew had. I just read because I love words and can feel their nuances rather than see them in action in my head :)

Have a lovely evening!

30/1/19 - Where has January gone?!

So I’ve become very bad at posting lately but I am so so busy! I’ve made good progress with A2 Maths and I have so many French books to read, too. My lovely French teacher has lent me three books in one go after I finished the one she lent me yesterday that very night haha

I hope your January has gone well :)

20/01/2019

So I bought myself an iPad to save my back because I carry about far too many notebooks but I still like writing my notes. I’m also saving paper haha

I’m still getting to grips with this but I really love it so far!

Sorry for the inactivity - I just needed to take some time off. But I’m back now! I’ve got my mock results back and I’m very happy with them :)

10-12/1/19 - 4-6/100 days of productivity

Omg I am so bad at posting but I promise I have been productive! I’ve done all my homework and read ahead in advance because I am missing Monday and Tuesday’s lessons as I am flying to Berlin tomorrow and spending my 18th birthday there!

Have an amazing week 💕

9/1/18 - 3/100 days of productivity

Today has been awesome. I had chemistry first thing, and then double German (my favourite class!), then I had some Galette des Rois in French and ended the day with Biology. No frees today but a really positive time all round :)

I’m sat doing homework now and I’ve promised myself I can watch a new TV programme that’s on later if I get it done haha

8/1/18 - 2/100 days of productivity

Sorry this is late - I had no WiFi yesterday at all! However, in my only free I made these notes on the brain :)

I hope you’re having a great week!

07/01/19 - 1/100 days of productivity

Thank you for 2000 followers! I love you all!

First day back at sixth form and first day of a new productivity challenge! I will honestly try to suck less at posting every day this time hehe

Because I have 4 free hours on a Monday before my first out of two lessons at 2pm, I got a lot done. I started out with some maths, but then my computer logged me off my digital books and it wouldn’t load again, so I ended up writing up some biology notes and then doing some chemistry - that’s what you can see here :)

Although I am full of cold, it has been a good day all round! I found out I got an A* in my bio mock when I thought I actually flunked that test so hard.

2/1/19

I love the library! Plus I’m spending time with my good friend and am just round the corner from town so... did someone say shopping? x

First study session of 2019!

Would love a cup of tea right about now :)

Happy New Year!

Hi guys! I’m so happy I’m bringing you all along into 2019 with me!

This post is mainly to sum up what I feel I have achieved in 2018, because I think it’s so important to take a minute and appreciate how far you’ve come towards meeting your goals. I’m also going to chat about 2019, just because. But before I do, I want to wish you all the best for this year. Work hard but look after yourself - you owe it to yourself to be healthy :)

So this time last year I was officially diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety disorder. I did not leave the house at weekends or in the holidays. I avoided all contact with people. I was miserable and apathetic 24/7 and I just wanted to sleep or cry. I was too anxious to even go into a shop alone, let alone even think about applying to universities or plan trips abroad without an older member of the family. In fact, had I not been terrified of leaving the house alone, I would not be here to see 2019.

However, a very very good teacher of mine was my shoulder to cry on, and she encouraged me to finally get a GP’s help after years of struggling alone in denial. 2018 was my year of recovery.

I still have depressive episodes. I am still anxious. But on the whole, I am human again and I am okay. Fragile still, but able to see the good in situations and not panic when I can’t. The chains that restrained my ankles are free, so I can put my best foot forward at long last.

As part of my recovery, I put myself out there. I visited universities from Birmingham to London, and I stayed with a host family for a week in Nantes. I was fortunate enough to be given a place on the Sutton Trust Summer School at Cambridge, where I met so many amazing people. I got closer to people I’ve known for years, too, because I know the time I have to see them every day is limited and fast running out. Although difficult at first because I do not respond well to change and time pressure, I know that this is the life I want.

This year is going to be my most tumultuous and scary yet. In 2 weeks, I fly to Berlin with my best friend, just me and her for my birthday. I am responsible for the budget (oh Lord) and looking after us. On said birthday, I will find out whether Cambridge accepted or rejected me. In the summer, I will sit my A Levels and find out if I achieved my goal - and I will leave the school I love so dearly forever. In the autumn, I will be settling into a new city as a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed fresher at whichever uni I choose, ready to embark on my chemistry degree. And I will have to leave behind so many people, which kills me inside.

But I know that the people who are supposed to stay in my life absolutely will. And alongside all the nerves and the sadness, I am optimistic that I will meet so many amazing humans at uni and beyond. I have been waiting for the chance to spread my wings and become a strong, independent woman for myself, and this year is when I’ll get to do it.

There is only one thing I do know for certain: my life at the end of this year will look incredibly different to how it is now.

Bring it on!