Follow Your Passion: A Seamless Tumblr Journey
Parasocial Relationships - Blog Posts
god, I love the parasocial relationships I've got with the fake people in my phone <3
My all-time favourite youtubers decided to stop posting in july. I truly can't believe that people I have followed for 5 years now are just- gone? Parasocial relationships going hard right now.
“Psychologists say it’s not uncommon to think of fictional characters as your friends. They call these attachments parasocial relationships, and a growing body of research suggests there may be more to these connections than we realize. It turns out that as we grow emotionally attached to characters who are part of a minority group, our prejudices tend to recede.“
This is another reminder of how important initiatives like everysinglewordspoken are. Not only to demand media representation for POC, but to change group attitudes about the ‘other’ and erase prejudice on a wide scale.
I get a genuine stomach ache when I remember I never have and never will be even alive at the same time as elliott smith
Ik Dan has joked before that Phannies are scholars, and he is absolutely right. In 2021 I wrote a college gender studies final on Dan and Phil real-people queer baiting and whether it can ever be done intentionally.
Here are my favorite excerpts:
“As influencer culture grows, their audiences grow apprehensive of what may pass as in-real-life queerbaiting…In his coming-out video, "Basically, I'm Gay," Youtube celebrity Dan Howell explains the context of his relationship with the other half of the iconic internet duo "Dan and Phil."… he is quick to follow with a statement about his and Phil's preference to keep their personal life "private" for people that share their lives on the internet (Basically, I’m Gay). While respecting Dan and Phil’s reasoning for remaining closeted at the height of their Youtube careers, it is to be acknowledged that the duo profited on the speculative nature of their homosexual behaviors of their online public relationship. Along with Dan Howell's content, which deprecated his insecurities and mental illness, and AmazingPhil which was light and fun, Dan and Phil engaged a massive community of LGBTQ+ through the display of their closeted sexualities which caused constant, inevitable speculation. “
“Dan and Phil’s Youtube personas and scheduled live streams created parasocial relationships between themselves and their audience. A parasocial relationship is defined as the “pseudo-intimacy” developed between an “audience and media personalities,” often taking the role of a good friend (Ramassuen)…Social and physical attraction are shown to have a positive relationship regarding their importance to parasocial relationships (Kurtin). Dan and Phil’s majority demographic, at the time, were teenage girls; fans often labelled themselves based on who they found more attractive: “Dan” or “Phil” girls…Dan and Phil, although promoting a platform where they “took responsibility” for their fans through a parasocial relationship (Green), benefitted from remaining sexually ambiguous as their fan base, it could be argued, was attracted to either member of the pair.”
“Dan and Phil's 2016 USA tour, "The Amazing Tour is Not On Fire,” contained a segment where they enacted fanfiction on stage based on the audience's reaction to pre-scripted scenarios. During the show, Dan and Phil performed two blatantly homoerotic sketches which cut-off before any physical explicitness. In this situation, the duo is relying on the homosexual subtext of their relationship to please their viewership…If Dan and Phil were to kiss as part of their stage show, their fans may have considered it their “coming-out.” "The Amazing Tour is Not On Fire" is just one example where they took advantage of their crowd’s obsession with the nature of their relationship while keeping the door of the closet locked for safety (from their audience and from themselves).”
“From video titles such as “Giving the People What They Want,” which features a thumbnail of Dan holding Phil’s shoulders and smiling widely, “What Dan and Phil Text Each Other,” and “Taste Our Rainbows,” there are numerous examples of the duo intentionally teasing their homosexuality and showcasing their emotional closeness. On the topic of queerbaiting, Crystal Abidin says“ Vlogs in which not-(yet)-out Influencers display 'homosocial tactility' (Morris and Anderson [26], 1201) and overt discursive intimacies with same-sex Influencers are sometimes deliberate attempts to fan viewer speculations about an Influencer's sexuality”(Abidin)…fans scrutinized the often suggestive way the pair would look at each other which they dubbed “Heart-eyes Howell” and “Love-eyes Lester.” Inevitably, opportunities to engage in speculation of the nature of the pair’s relationship increased the overall attention Dan and Phil were receiving toward their Youtube content.”
“While it may or may not be deliberate, the pair was certainly aware of the advantages of all the queer speculation brought to their careers. In Dan’s 2016 “Diss Track,” a song about his flaws, he says “the only reason you get views is because you’re another white guy that people ship with his friend because they think it’s [cute]”…In this case, Dan is making unintentional, but self-aware gains from teasing his sexuality through self-deprication while also shutting down the possibility of a romance with his roommate, Phil.”
“I LGBTQ+ youth are more likely to experience mental health hardships as well as loneliness at a young age…In a livestream in the early 2010s, Phil accuses Dan’s fans of being dark as opposed to his which love suns and lions. In response, Dan accurately explains that they are the same fans, but that they particularly express themselves more openly with him. There is an argument to be made that Dan and Phil’s audience strongly consisting of LGBTQ+ youth is a result of their open expression of their other attributes - awkwardness, anxiety, introvertedness, and depression, rather than specifically their queerness. Their friendship is what links the pair together and adds excitement for the audience.”
“Dan Howell’s coming-out video is a 45 minute docu-short which tells a vulnerable story of his history with bullying, the word gay, and his sexual orientation on the internet…[In the video, Dan] disapproves of “aggressive speculating” or “forced outing” for the purpose of entertainment, as there could be infinite, valid reasons why an assumed LGBTQ+ person is not out (Basically, I’m Gay)…sharing the story of a difficult journey with his queerness and intimacies with his internet partner on supports the argument that Dan and Phil could not be “queerbaiting,” as queerbaiting is taking deliberate actions to draw-in LGBT+ audiences while safeguarding from homophobia. Any of their actions that may be perceived as queerbaiting was an accidental and inevitable result of the true nature of Dan and Phil’s relationship and online content they created that happened to resonate with young queer people at the time.”
“Reflecting their young gay audience, it took time for Dan and Phil to grow comfortable with their sexual orientations…The pairing of Dan and Phil on-screen inevitably —as if it were a consequence for existing as queer men online in a trial period— “queer-baited,” in an untraditional context, the audience as the content is homoerotic without the disclosure of sexual orientation that the duo ultimately benefitted from to their knowledge.”
K-pop is the best example for me. Look at how many saesangs are there. The idol contracts are so strenuous that they are dubbed as slave contracts. They aren't allowed to date as they and the people they date will be harassed by fans. Imagine thinking you are entitled to a person's private life just because they chose to be a k-pop idol and that they shouldn't date as they belong to you. A lot of idols face this. It's so stupid.
Parasocial relationships aren’t inherently unhealthy. Usually, they’re a perfectly normal and healthy way to experience media. You know what are examples of parasocial relationships?
Kids dressing up in costumes and pretending to be the sidekick of their favorite superhero.
Teens daydreaming about hanging out with members of their favorite band.
Adults reading a funny memoir and finding they now feel positively and care about the wellbeing of the person who wrote it.
Sports fans celebrating because their favorite team won a championship.
Watching a talent show and cheering when your favorite performer wins.
These are enjoyable and typically harmless experiences. Because relationships (parasocial included) are not inherently healthy or unhealthy–it all depends on the parties involved, and the behavior on both sides.
Parasocial relationships become unhealthy when we as audience members over-invest emotionally, fail to set proper boundaries, have unfair/unrealistic expectations or make intrusive demands (for individual attention, for emotional reciprocation, for the other party to serve as a best friend, a lover, a savior, a therapist), or engage in harassment when these expectations are not met. Or, alternatively, when the person/group/corporation on the other end misleads their audience, or uses their influence irresponsibly or exploitatively, or makes promises they cannot follow through on.
Unfortunately, we are seeing a rise in most of these things, in part because the way we consume media has changed very very quickly, and we as a culture have not had enough time to react sanely to these changes and establish healthy behavioral norms around them.
Many of us are struggling with how the illusion of intimacy has hyperevolved—the faces we once saw only on theatre screens and magazines, celebrities who were so removed from us by distance and medium, are now on our phones, in our homes, sharing their private lives with us in previously unimaginable detail. Instead of scripted interviews & crafted photoshoots, we get casual selfies & tweets & constant updates about their clothes & food & activities & private lifestyles. We get videos of celebrities talking to their camera (to us) directly from their own home—as if we are being invited inside. All of this happening on the very same social media platforms and in the same language we use to communicate with friends. Of course our brains are going to get confused, especially if we haven’t been taught how to draw the right boundaries when it comes to watching people in the spotlight.
And most of us haven’t.
Which leads us to what I think is the real problem—not parasocial relationships but Celebrity Culture. This whole culture we’ve been building for decades around inappropriate and invasive interest in the private lives of public figures. Celebrity & paparazzi culture has always encouraged deeply unhealthy patterns of behavior, and it’s been around a lot longer than the internet. But the attitudes it embodies have become the basis for how we treat and think about “famous” people online, and for the shape that parasocial relationships take in the social media age.
The problem isn’t that we’re forming parasocial relationships. Humans will always form parasocial relationships. Jesus christ, religion itself probably fits the definition of a parasocial relationship—what is more parasocial than inventing a god? The problem is that we are forming these relationships without a clear understanding of what constitutes healthy boundaries, reasonable expectations, and appropriate behavior, on all sides. Form as many parasocial relationships as you like, but figure out how to keep them healthy. Manage your expectations, be respectful of privacy, be aware of when you are becoming too involved, know when to step back, and don’t expect it to take the place of interpersonal relationships—your relationships with people who know you exist, and want to reciprocate your time, energy, and interest.
ko-fi
Guys, today is Jeffrey Dean Morgans sons(Gus) birthday and like a month ago was his daughters(George) birthday !!
Did u know about Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s unknown child!? He had a child with Sherrie Rose (director and actress) and only found out in 2009, when the child was 4. The kid is now called Waylon Rose and is a model.
Yes n no ((o(^∇^)o)), I knew that he had an unknown child and who he had it with, But I didn't Know the child's name or how old she was so thank you very much for letting me more *｡･+(人*´∀`)+･｡* !! /gen
.
daily reminder that jeffrey dean morgan loves you!! trust 🤞
︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶
Sorry for the late reply but thank you very much‼️
Today has been such a bad day, so seeing this me feel so much better (〃´▽`) /srs /gen
Also if you have a p/o or an f/o or a significant other anything similar then they also love you(if you want them to) ((o(^∇^)o)) /srs
Here's some pictures of him(if you ever send something similar like this and the pictures bother you then tell me and I won't add the pictures):
He's so dreamie especially in the 8th picture!! And he's so strong too and most of these are new pictures that I got from pinterest (//∇//)
︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶
︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶
My Little brother sucks, he's actually blackmailing me, I said something about Jeffrey Dean Morgan(my p/o)
And it was a joke, and now my two sisters, my older sister boyfriend and my little won't let it go and keeps on joking about it and now he's saying either I give him a dollar and he won't tell my dad or he tells my dad which I STRICTLY don't want to know what I said
I hate this, they’re making me have negative connotations about Jeffrey Dean Morgan and its genuinely hurting my mental health,
Jeffrey Dean Morgan is one of my safe place/haven, and their taking it away from me /srs
Update:
I'm blackmailing him back next time i see him, cause I know things he doesn't want dad to know , ty to my older sister for helping with this conclusion
︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶
ok gimme a run down of your love (jeffery)!!!! i have No Idea who he is!!!/gen
Hii !! And oki and thank you very much for sending me this, I have an excuse to yap about him ((o(^∇^)o))
Though I genuinely apologize if you find this weird or creepy /gen
Also I'm truly sorry for the late reply!!
And I'm obsessed with him /srs
˗ˏˋʚ JeffreyDeanMorgan info ɞˎˊ˗
He is an American Actor(who has Italian, Scottish and french ancestry), who is most known for playing 'Negan Smith'(whom I love very much) from 'the walking dead', who is the first introduction I have had with him, then my 2nd introduction of him is in 'Supernatural' as 'John Winchester' which he is also mostly known for !!
But he also plays in 'the boys' as 'Joe Kessler' and more shows and movies !!
His latest movie he has been in Bloody Axe Wound as Butch Slater which he made the movie and planned it, he was the producer !!(which I am planning on watching)
And hes gonna be in a movie Nowhere Men as Ed Deerman but it's post production
He was born April 22nd 1966 and was born on a Friday and hes a taurus to sandy Washington and Richard Dean Morgan
(he's 58 but about to be 59/ he's old but idc(/lh) and I hope that doesn't deter people away from me or him!!)
He's married to hilarie burton(I hate her) and he got married october 5th 2019 and had two kids Augustus(gus) and George(I will not bring kids into my hatred or parasocialness because their kids)
He married Anya Longwell in 1992 and got divorced in 2003
︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶
More random facts about him:
He's dyslexic
He's 6'2
He lives on a 100 acre farm in the Hudson valley in the town of Rhinebeck in dutchess county, New yorkh
He has a donkey name jack who he loves dearly
He wanted to be a basketball player but then that didn't work out(partly because he got stabbed)
He has a shared candy shop too
He started to act in 1991 his first character he has played wad Sharkie in the movie uncaged
Our age gap: 42 yrs, 8 m, & 17 d (which is big but oh well)
I have more, I have a whole note apps with paragraphs and I memorized a lot of him and have 324 things of him in my gallery who is dedicated to him, 289 images and 35 videos and technically more because not all of it is in the dedicated gallery album to him but yeah !! I also have a whole pinterest board dedicated to him !!
︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶
˗ˏˋʚ My fav photos of him/His characters ɞˎˊ˗
I have more but tumblrs pic limit is stopping me I swear /srs
︶ִֶָ⏝︶ִֶָ⏝˖ ࣪ ୨ ♰ ୧ ࣪ ˖⏝ִֶָ︶⏝ִֶָ︶
Guys I found out a new term 'p/o' and it means 'parasocial / other' and now I'm happy d(^-^)b
Cause Jeffrey Dean Morgan is my p/o :*(〃∇〃人)*:
/srs