Saeyoung X Reader - Blog Posts

multi-write

3 years ago

TW Saeyoung walking in on you c//ting

~Post type: Short story~

Author’s Note: Please be safe, this story includes mentions of Self Harm, blood and possible depression.

Please do not read if any of those topics are upsetting or triggering <3

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You promised yourself you wouldn't do this anymore

You promised. But yet, you couldn't stop yourself. One moment you were brushing your teeth and getting ready for bed and the next you were reaching into the all too familiar tin in the back of the bathroom cabinet. You stopped yourself for a second; what would you say if anyone saw you right now? They'd probably ask you why.

Why? You didn't know. It was just.. Something you did sometimes. You just needed the slicing pain to know you could still feel pain. Almost as if you needed to remember there wasn't just happiness in life. But no, that wasn't it. It was because you felt deep down that you didn't deserve the happiness. You took out one of the thin razor blades and placed it against your thigh, just high enough to be unnoticeable unless you were naked. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes and sliced. You hissed and went in again, slightly higher this time. Two was enough, you told yourself. You rinsed the blade and placed it back in the tin, tucking it away back in the cabinet. Just as you were grabbing a cloth to clean up the thin lines, now with beads of blood popping up and trailing down, you heard a knock at the door. "Honey, you've been in there for a while," You heard Saeyoung say through the bathroom door. "Are you getting dressed all nice just to sleep? Or did you have something else in mind?" He was teasing. "Oh, um no I-I'm okay. I'm just... Cleaning up." You stammered, trying to stop the bleeding, but the beads kept returning. "...I'm going to come in, is that okay?" He said, a serious tone in his voice. "Um, just-" You tried to say, holding the cloth under cold water, trying to wash off the blood and use the cold to stop the bleeding. You looked over at the door, noticing you forgot to lock it. Just as you were about to reach for the knob, the door slowly swung open. Guiltily, you pulled up your pajama bottoms and held the cloth behind your back. "Hi." You said, cheeks flushed and hands behind your back. You were sure you looked guilty, but you still tried to act normal. "Honey, what happened? Are you okay?" He said, cupping a warm hand against your cheek. "Um I..." You started. He kissed your forehead, and seemed to spot the cloth behind your back. "MC," He said, gently reaching for the cloth. He rarely ever called you by your name, only reserved for serious conversations. You didn't fight him, and handed it over. "What happened?" He was calm, but you could tell in his eyes that he was worried. "I... I'm sorry." Was all you could muster. You started tearing up. "I'm so sorry, Sae." "Hey. Come here." He wrapped you in a hug. You laid your head on his chest and could hear his heart drumming away in his chest while his shirt was getting more and more wet with your tears. He tossed the cloth in the sink and held you, both tightly and gently. "I'm sorry. I wasn't going to do it, but it was habit, and- And I just wasn't strong enough not to. I'm so sorry." You sobbed, grabbing the back of his shirt. He could figure it out from your ramblings what had happened. "It's okay honey, you're okay." He stroked your hair, and slightly rocked side to side, holding you close. "Do you need to be cleaned up?" "I don't know, that's what I was doing when you came in but..." You said, sniffling and trying to calm down. "Okay, hold on for a second," He bent down, and lifted you up, placing you gently on the small counter behind you. He placed a soft kiss on your lips, and tucked your hair behind your ear. "While I clean you up can we talk for a bit?" He talked quietly. "Yeah." You said, taking a deep breath. "Okay, where is it?" You wiggled your bottoms down, so he could see the- still bleeding- cuts. You turned away, ashamed at the wounds. "So," He started, grabbing the cloth and wringing it out so it was only damp. "What happened, My Love?" "I just felt a random urge and I figured I'd done it before without getting caught... I told myself just this once and then never again." You said, turning your head to look at him. He gently wiped the cuts and the blood around them. "Tell me if I'm hurting you, okay?" He said, rinsing the cloth and wiping your legs again. "Okay...” He nodded, urging you to continue.

“Anyways, I figured I needed to." You closed your eyes, not able to meet his. "You needed to? Why did you need to, baby?" "I needed to remind myself that there's more than just happiness in life." You felt ashamed to admit it, feeling your eyes filling again. "Can you look at me for a second?" He said, placing the cloth over both wounds and pressing it firmly. You opened your eyes, and tried to blink away your tears. "You're right. There are things other than happiness and love in life." He smiled, bitter-sweetly. "But that doesn't mean you have to feel all of it. I told you before and I'll say it again, I don't ever want to let you be in pain. Especially not because of me. When we first met, you told me that you wouldn't be in danger because of me. Do you remember that?" You nodded. "So, I don't want you to feel like the love that I give you needs to be evened out with pain, okay?" He kissed your cheek and wiped your tears. "Okay." He picked the cloth up off of your leg and grabbed bandages from the cabinet. You spotted the tin at the same time he did. You looked away in shame. You heard the rattling of the tin and the small bandage box. You looked back at him, his hands holding only the bandage box. He carefully unwrapped a few and gently placed hem on your leg. You noticed his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, as he always does when he's focusing. After he placed the bandages, he lightly fluttered kisses around your wounds. When he placed the box back in the cabinet you noticed the tin was gone, but you didn't see where he'd moved it to. He helped you pull your bottoms back up and wriggle off the counter. "Are you feeling better?" He said, lifting you in his arms. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. Nuzzling your head in the crook of his neck, you nodded. "Good." He carried you back to your shared room and placed you carefully on the bed. "I'll be right back, okay?" He said, kissing your forehead and stepping away from the bed. You almost asked him what he was going to do or begged him to stay next to you. But you were too tired to press, and you figured you knew what he was doing anyway from the way his pocket rattled. You could just wait for him with your eyes shut. After a few minutes, you stirred back awake to feel the bed dip. "Sorry to wake you up." He said softly. You just turned to face him and nuzzled in closer. "S'Okay." You hummed. "I love..Sae.." You said, drifting back to sleep. "I love you too, Honey."

Don’t cry, I’m here. — Saeyoung x fem! reader

Of course! And I’m doing well besides the 3 hours of sleep I’ve gotten, thanks. I hope you are too. I was confused about the gender of the reader, so I was rereading that a few times cause I was like. What? But when I read it the fourth time I was like OH they meant female reader. I thought that was funny I’m a little dumb, but anyways! Also yeah no that’s fine, I hope you enjoy it!

This is very much proofread.

I didn’t want to specify the reader’s issues cause of depression cause I don’t want to be like “oh the reader is upset cause of this” and then for you to have meant a different thing, so I tried to write it so that the reader’s reason for breaking down so suddenly wouldn’t be.. specific.

Warnings : Not much, reader’s reason for breaking down is not specific, reader is suggested to be female, a bit of comfort.

Hello, :) I Hope Ur Well. Can I Pls Request A Comfort Fic With Saeyoung And A Depressed F!reader? Let's

Saeyoung was sure he had you figured out. From small details about you in person, to large pieces of information of you online. He memorized every freckle and mole on your body, every password to all of your accounts.

So that’s why it surprised him when he saw you—his beautiful girlfriend—crying.

How did it get to this point? Well to him there was only one conclusion.

You were bottling it all up. How could he not notice?

It should’ve been obvious enough whenever you said you didn’t want to eat cause you lost your appetite, or when you seemed a tad more exhausted than usual, or even just when you started to space out whenever he was talking.

All the signs were there, right in front of him too.

So why didn’t he catch on?

Why didn’t he catch the way your eyes seemed to be unusually dull? Why didn’t he see the way you seemed to not want to get out of bed, refusing and blaming it on your fatigue? Why did he let it go far, why was he so blind to see you were in pain?

He of all people understands what that type of pain feels like, what it’s like to mask it and bottle it up, so why didn’t he know you were feeling this way?

So it was no surprise how speechless he was when he got home to see you crying on the bathroom floor.

He stayed shocked, standing in the doorway seeing you crying your heart out. Saeyoung didn’t stay frozen in dismay, rushing to your side.

“Hey, honey, no-no don’t cry what’s wrong?” He panicked, he wasn’t sure what to do.

“‘ts just too much to handle Saeyoung..” you cried, clinging onto him for the sake of your sanity.

“I don’t know what to do.. I thought my problems are my problems and they should stay my problems—“ you hiccuped “—so I wouldn’t have to bother you or anyone else about it, but it’s just too much pressure—I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t want to be burden on any of you.”

Saeyoung felt his heart shatter when he heard how pained your voice sounded, holding you close as he hushed you “Hey, don’t apologize. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” was what he asked, but really he was thinking why didn’t he see it sooner?

Usually he’d know what to do, how to comfort you. But he’s never seen you like this before. Hell, he has never seen you cry before. So he’s so thrown off on what to do.

“You were always—“ you tried to talk, but your words only came out in choked out sobs so Saeyoung interrupted you.

“Shh.. shh it’s okay my love. I’m just..” he paused, unsure what the right words to say were “I’m here now, tell me what’s wrong?”

And so you spilled. All your troubles and worries, every single doubt and problem you’ve been experiencing. And he sat there, holding you close to him as if you would slip through his hands like sand—and listened to every word you had to say.

After you had finished, your rambling now incoherent due to your sobs, he gently rubbed soothing circles onto your back. “It’s okay. I’m here now. You’re okay.” He cooed, hoping that would help in comforting you.

But you weren’t calming down, and he wasn’t sure what to do. He was thinking of texting, or maybe even calling another RFA member in hopes they would know, but he somehow already knew they’d be as clueless as he was now. So all he could do was try to calm you down.

“Hey,” Saeyoung whispered, pulling you back up by your shoulders, your teary eyes staring right back into his golden ones “can you breathe with me?”

Yeah, he thought. That should be the first step in calming her down, right?

“O.. Okay.” You hiccuped.

“Good, okay. Breathe in,” he inhaled, waiting for you to inhale with him as well, and after a few moments he exhaled “breathe out.”

It took a while, but eventually you weren’t crying as bad anymore.

“Okay,” Saeyoung mumbled “okay.”

“Are you okay?” He asked, his voice was soft, and low—in almost a whisper-like way. Which heavily contrasted his usually ‘happy-go-lucky’ nature.

“I think so.” Was all you managed to croak out in response, hiccuping a bit. But at least you weren’t sobbing to the point of being unresponsive.

He was still very much confused. You always seemed so cheerful, laughing at his jokes, teasing Yoosung with him. You never cried, or if you did, never in front of him.

Saeyoung wants to take care of you, the way you did with him when he tried to push you away.

“Do you..” he paused, propping himself up so now he was leaning against the wall “..do you need anything? Water? A snack?”

“Can you just stay here with me?” You asked, your eyes fluttering closed, a bit worn out from crying so much “Just for a bit.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, nodding “yeah I can do that.”

And at least, you thought, you at least had some form of peace in his arms. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt you, and for the first time you didn’t feel alone, no longer wallowing in the depths of your depression. Cause now, now you had Saeyoung.

And he was going to make sure you, his precious girlfriend, would never feel like this ever again. Or at least be there for you whenever you fell into that deep rabbit hole again.

But one thing was for sure, he would make sure you never have to face this type of issue on you own.

————

Bonus!!

“Saeyoung..” you whispered, still curled up in a fetal position as he wrapped himself around you.

“Yeah?” He hummed in reply, tugging you closer to him, as if to remind you that he’s still there.

“Thank you.” you chuckled, your voice was quiet, but he still managed to hear you.

Saeyoung was about to speak again, when he heard you talk “You shouldn’t have seen me like that. But still, thank you for staying with me.”

He was a bit surprised. What did you mean he shouldn’t have seen you like that?

“It’s nothing.” Was all he murmured, snuggling his face deeper into the crevice of your neck.

“You sure you don’t have anything else to do?” You asked, then adding “No work to be done? I don’t want you getting in trouble just because I’m .. like this.”

Saeyoung chuckled, making a faint ‘pssh’ sound “I’m sure I can take a break from the computer if it means making sure your okay.”

All you did was hum in reply, nodding in confirmation.

“Hey (Y/N)?” He called, propping himself up on his elbows, looking over to see your face.

“Yeah?” You replied, eyes flickering to meet his.

“You know I love you, right?” He murmured in more of a question, but you knew he only meant to assure you.

“Yeah, I know.” you nodded turning around to be face to face with him.

“I love you too.”

(A/N) : This is about maybe 900 words? Maybe a bit more than that. I was pretty reluctant on posting this, not cause of anything with the request but the way I had written it was kinda ehhh to me. Y’know? I’m not good with comfort but this was fun to try! I really hope you liked it, if you didn’t please do not hesitate to lmk so I can fix anything and everything for you, but I hope you’re well too! And I’m also sorry for not publishing this sooner, as I said before I’m a bit insecure of my writing hesitant to post this. But I’m going to, just cause I want to see if there’s anything I can fix. I’m always open to criticism! That being said, thank you for reading this, and again—if you see that anything need fixing or something is not to your liking lmk!!

Mystic Messenger characters and where you would find them at school and general headcannons

Yoosung, Zen, Saeyoung, Jumin, Rika, Saeran

Yoosung: I think you'd notice him in history class, he would be so flabbergasted by the events that the teacher is talking about. Would and will raise his hand just to say that it's horrible. No shit Sherlock. Would hang out with Saeran and scold Saeyoung for startling him, and pair up with Saeran during P.E. I think he would be in the exact middle between being popular and going unnoticed. Like, people notice him when he's with his popular friends but I don't think they will notice him for HIM. Would get a couple of girls having a crush on him but no fangirls

Zen: In the school cafeteria. He would be SURROUNDED. Like you couldn't even see him with all the girls and boys around him. Would start a food fight and everyone else but him would get into trouble. He's that kid that every female teacher loves so much that it starts to feel illegal. He seems like those people who never eat school lunches despite being in the cafeteria, but I think everyone would let him be because you do not wanna get beef with his fangirls.

707/Saeyoung: IN MATH CLASS. I CANNOT SAY IT ENOUGH IN MATH CLASS. He would correct the teacher so much that the teacher hates him for it. But nobody can deny that he's a genius. Would crack a few jokes during class which would make the teacher hate him even more but I don't think he cares. Would give Zen the idea to start a food fight and then run away so that he doesn't get in trouble. He would be very very popular because of being a class clown and Zen's friend, on top of being charismatic and handsome.

Jumin: In foreign literature class. He's one of those ib student, and probably gets the best grades. Wouldn't eat in the cafeteria bc bro's too good for that, no but I feel like he would be this kid with a hundred intolerance and allergy. Very serious to the point where it's annoying. Always gets picked in group projects tho because he will get the best grade and everybody knows that. His father probably donates a LOT to the school. He's pretty popular amongst the girls because he's quite handsome and stupidly rich, so he's got a good amount of fangirls around the school. The boys make fun of him for being stuck-up tho.

Rika: You'd probably find her in the library helping the librarian or doing extra work in the classroom. She's the perfect pretty girl. If a cat infiltrates the school, will pet it and defend it from those weird ass people that wanna hit it. Would get the best grades and I feel like she would take latin as an option (worst choice of life btw). She would be fairly popular amongst the student body because of her very very popular friends. Will get a burnout in the middle of the year and maybe quit school for a bit.

Saeran: Behind a tree reading. I think he would be an ib student too and for that reason would have a lot of books to read. And since he doesn't wanna hang out with Saeyoung to avoid getting in trouble, he would read those books at school. Will still be targeted by Saeyoung for pranks tho, but nothing mean just annoying enough to make Saeran go away with a big loud huff. He wouldn't eat in the cafeteria but he would still get his plate and then go to his tree again. Basically if you wanna find him he'll be next to his tree lmao. He's a hot topic at school because he's very calm and shy on top of being very pretty, so people think he's mysterious yk yk. Probably has a group of fangirls he's unaware of.