Sdv Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts

𝚁𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝙼𝚎 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜

[Farmer Aleia is lounging on the couch, flipping through a book while Sebastian is at his computer, typing away. The mood is casual, and the two are enjoying their time together.]

Aleia: *suddenly perks up, grinning mischievously* Hey! Sebby! I've got a riddle for you!

Sebastian: *still typing, without looking up* This better not be like that time you tried to convince me that mayonnaise counts as a drinkable snack.

Aleia: *waves him off dramatically* Hah! I stand by that statement! Mayonnaise is versatile, and you're just close-minded. But no, this one's different. Listen up!

Sebastian: *leans back in his chair, spinning slightly to look at her, raising an eyebrow* Fine. Hit me with your best shot.

Aleia: *grinning smugly* Okay. "You feel good when you stick something in it. You feel happy when you shake it. But you feel sad when you take something out of it. Now, what am I?"

Sebastian: *pauses, staring at her blankly before a slow smirk creeps onto his face* Oh

[Sebastian gets up, crossing the room slowly. Aleia's smug grin falters slightly as he approaches and stops in front of her. He leans down, placing his hands on either side of her on the couch, effectively pinning her in place.]

Sebastian: *in a low, teasing tone* Sweetheart, If you wanted to have sex, you could've just asked instead of hiding it behind riddles.

Aleia: *face turning crimson, flustered* AH!No! That's not! It's a piggy bank!

Sebastian: *blinks in surprise, then bursts out laughing* Piggy bank? Really?

Aleia: *starts giggling uncontrollably* YES! Admit it, I got you!

Sebastian: *still laughing, straightens up and crosses his arms* Alright, alright. Fine. But now it's my turn.

Aleia: *playfully narrows her eyes* Bring it on!

Sebastian: *grins wickedly, leaning slightly closer* Okay. "What's long, hard, and stiff, gets used inside a warm, wet place, and works best when you move it back and forth?"

Aleia: *bursts out laughing, pointing at him* HA! Easy. It's a toothbrush!"

Sebastian: *suddenly crouches in front of her, gently takes her hand, and smirks devilishly, his voice dropping* Wrong answer, love?

Aleia: *blinking rapidly, her blush returning* E-Eh?! Wait, what-?

[Before she can react, she grabs the nearest object, a pillow, and throws it directly at his face. Sebastian catches it effortlessly, laughing as Aleia scrambles to her feet in a mix of embarrassment.]

Aleia: Sebastian! You're the worst!

Sebastian: *grinning, tossing the pillow back at her* And yet, you still love me.

Aleia: *trying to suppress a smile, but failing* Yeah, yeah. Don't push your luck, emo boy.

Sebastian: *leaning back smugly* Admit it, though. I make this relationship very exciting.

Aleia: *rolling her eyes but smiling anyway* Exciting isn't the word I'd use... but fine. You win this round.

Sebastian: *winks* Always do, sweetheart.

Farmer: *can't find Sebastian in town*

Farmer: Dammit! I can't find him anywhere. This calls for drastic measures.

Farmer: *inhales and uses hand as a microphone* THE FARMER SUCKS!!!

Sebastian: *comes out from his room basement* THE FUCK-

Shane: *across JojaMart Bldg* DID YOU-

Sam: *crashes through the window using his skateboard* JUST-

Other Marriage Candidates: SAY!

Farmer: Eeek, that worked a little too well...

Other Townspeople: *others find this amusing, annoying or secretly recording the scene from the start and post it on their social media*

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿!

Like literally the dude just have to flirt with my farmer everytime they passed each other and whats funny is that he tried it againt but this time infront of Aleia's husband.

Skit idea & OC Caspian by: @antifacatra

Sterling: So…what’s the key to winning you over? I’m ready for the challenge.

Caspian: *snorts at this*

Aleia: *laughs, clearly oblivious* Oh Sterl, another one of your jokes again?

Sterling: Well I heard you love yourself a motorcycle ride? Well I bet you that Sebs never taken you to the coastline, cutie. *winks*

Aleia: *chuckles* Good one but do you have to use me and Sebby as examples.

Sterling: Just messing with ya, Aleia~ *gives her a side hug*

Aleia: Well, I have to go now. I still have stuff to do at the farm. Bye! *walks out*

Caspian: *waits for her to leave out from earshot, looks at his bestfriend* Damn Sterling! You homewrecking bastard can’t keep your sights on a married woman? You outta betray my man, Sebby like this? Hell he even has a kid now. What’s the matter with you?

Sterling: Oh you love giving me shit, Casshole. Remind me how many older women have you tried to court in town?

Caspian: Well Robin comes to min-

Sterling: Exactly! You tried to fuck his mom, can’t blame you she’s got stuff. You’re no better than me a fellow horn dog of a man. You and I.

After FOM Full Update:

ꜰᴀʀᴍᴇʀ - ꜰɪᴇʟᴅꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴍɪꜱᴛʀɪᴀ ꜰᴀʀᴍᴇʀ - ꜱᴛᴀʀᴅᴇᴡ ᴠᴀʟʟᴇʏ

March: *who is drunk* Heeeey Farmer, you looking mighty fine today. I wish could kiss you~

Farmer: Oh...Neat!

*later*

Farmer: *lying face down on their bed holding a phone calling to their relative from Stardew Valley* I said "NEAT" right in front of everyone! Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say NEAT but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid!

Farmer: *holding their baby while using their phone* Don't beat yourself up too much, cousin.

Farmer: I will never show my face in front of everyone again! Especially to March. How can I face him without embarrassing myself?

Farmer: Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Sebastian confessed their love for me?

Farmer: Didn't you thank him?

Farmer: *stays still and looks at the ceiling* I fuc-freaking thanked him.

Farmer: *enjoying a peaceful married life*

*sees an attractive marriageable npc*

Farmer: I'm gonna do what's called a pro gamer move.😏

I just had a random idea to combine two of my favorite fandoms, Stardew Valley and Bungou Stray Dogs.

Headcanon:

One of my farmers, Cerise, used to be an assassin in the Port Mafia until she grew tired with everyone's bullshit and decided to escape that life. She fled Yokohama with her sister and relocate in Stardew Valley.

Cerise now owns one of her late grandfather's farm areas. Her farm specializes in chocolate making, wines, and cultivating a horticulture of fairy crops.

(Yes. I use mods)

Aleia: How the fuck is this sweet kind woman a former assassin!?

Thalia: Sweet but terrifying.

Rosemary: *already knows about it*

𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝟰 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗢𝗖𝘀, 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼 𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗿𝗲𝗻:

Aleia

Before she fell down the shaft, Aleia accidentally grabbed on Wren's shirt and they both fall together. Ouch! That's gotta hurt. Atleast the floor they landed on are full of iridium ore and its monster free zone!

Rosemary

For Wren, she doesn't need to push Rosemary because by the time the red haired girl saw a hole, she immediately jump down with no hesitation. Good thing there's no broken bones or else another trip to Harvey's clinic and have to listen a tirade from her worrywart of a sister and boyfriend.

Cerise

Cerise immediately step aside, thinking its some monster pushing her down, she look just to see Wren about to fall down and with fast reflex grabbed her shirt to stop her fall. "Phew that was a close one. Are you okay?" and Wren just gives her the thumbs up.

Thalia

Thalia just grabbed on to Wren's collar and scream, "If I go down. You go down with me!" and they fall 15 floors down. Oof! Landed on with a few broken bones and look its an infested floor. Great!

wren pushes ur farmer down a shaft in the skull mines just to see how deep it is before she jumps in

Camilla: Isaac is okay.

F. Thalia: What do you mean okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause they gave me the mackerel eyes, they meant it!

Camilla: Thalia sweetie, Isaac threatened me. He even threaten your other farmer friend, Rosemary every day. They probably threatened Lance before dinner this evening. It's what he do. Grow a pair.

Farmer: Guys, I need your help.

Camilla: Love help?

Alesia: Financial help?

Lance: Emotional help?

Isaac: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Isaac*

Isaac: What?

How my Stardew Farmers meet Lance

Aleia: *finally reach the volcano top* Damn fucking magma sprites! *swats the fire out from her hat*

Lance: *appears*

Aleia: What the-! *points her galaxy sword at Lance, thinks his an enemy* Who are you?

Lance: Not to worry, Aleia. I'm just a friend.

Aleia: You know my name?

Lance: Yes. I’ve heard a lot about you, Aleia. Marlon speaks highly of your caliber as an adventurer.

Aleia: *laughs* Marlon does love to tell a good story.

🍎

Rosemary: *too tired to even bother once she reached the top volcano*

Lance: *appears*

Rosemary: *groans in frustration and chucks a bomb at Lance thinking its a monster*

Lance: *uses levitation to stop the bomb landing on him, chuckles* Rosemary, calm down. I'm just a friend.

Rosemary: *snaps out of it* Oh shot! I'm sorry! I thought your just some monster like the ones from the volcano dungeons.

Lance: Understandable. *chuckles* Few adventurers have scaled Mount Kohldur, once a great dwarf kingdom. Your achievement is a testament to your ambition and perseverance.

Rosemary: Well it was hard to get passed through those monsters.

🌺

Cerise: *reach the top volcano, after passing all the floors with ease*

Lance: *appears*

Cerise: *with instinct, throws a galaxy dagger at him*

Lance: *blocks it with a magic shield, chuckles* Fast reflexes. Impressive

Cerise: You must be Lance. My sister talks about you.

Lance: She does?

🌼

Thalia: *reach the top volcano a bit unscathed, eats icecream to replenish her health* Finally I'm here!

Lance: *appears*

Thalia: *eyes narrowed, hands clinch to her weapon* Wait. Aren't that hot guy from the volcano. That my friend, Rosemary talks about.

Lance: *chuckles* I did meet her at this very volcano, yes. I hope I'm not startling you.

Thalia: Meh

~IsaacXFarmer on a date, after SVE 2.0~

Farmer: *gives a bouquet to Isaac* Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet and so are you.

Isaac: Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Farmer: Just take the damn flowers.

After SVE 2.0 Update...

Isaac: Look I'm not in love with Farmer. I like them just as much as that next monster I killed.

Lance: .... ಠ◡ಠ

Isaac: I mean, I clearly have feelings for them, but feelings don't mean love.

Jadu: .... ಠಿ_ಠ

Isaac: Do I have feelings for Farmer? Sure! But that doesn't mean that I.... I-! Oh mygawd! I'm inlove with Farmer!

Alesia: .... (눈‸눈)

Isaac: *slams desk* Why didn't you tell me!

Lance: *chuckles* We thought you knew.

Isaac: Wha-! WE!? (●__●)

Camilla: We all knew. We talk about it all the time. (๑¯◡¯๑)