Taking Action - Blog Posts

During the 2008 recession, my aunt lost her job. Her, her partner, and my three cousins moved across the country to stay with us while they got back on their feet. My house turned from a family of four to a family of nine overnight, complete with three dogs and five cats between us.

It took a few years for them to get a place of their own, but after a few rentals and apartments, they now own a split level ranch in a town nearby. I’ve lost track of how many coworkers and friends have stayed with them when they were in a tight spot. A mother and son getting out of an abusive relationship, a divorcee trying to stay local for his kids while they work out a custody agreement, you name it. My aunt and uncle knew first hand what that kindness meant, and always find space for someone who needed it, the way my parents had for them.

That same aunt and uncle visited me in [redacted] city last year. They are prolific drinkers, so we spent most of the day bar hopping. As we wandered the city, any time we passed a homeless person, my uncle would pull out a fresh cigarette and ask them if they had a light. Regardless of if they had a lighter on hand or not, he offered them a few bucks in exchange, which he explained to me after was because he felt it would be easier for them to accept in exchange for a service, no matter how small.

I work for a company that produces a lot of fabric waste. Every few weeks, I bring two big black trash bags full of discarded material over to a woman who works down the hall. She distributes them to local churches, quilting clubs, and teachers who can use them for crafts. She’s currently in the process of working with our building to set up a recycling program for the smaller pieces of fabric that are harder to find use for.

One of my best friends gives monthly donations to four or five local organizations. She’s fortunate enough to have a tech job that gives her a good salary, and she knows that a recurring donation is more valuable to a non-profit because they can rely on that money month after month, and can plan ways to stretch that dollar for maximum impact. One of those organizations is a native plant trust, and once she’s out of her apartment complex and in a home with a yard, she has plans to convert it into a haven of local flora.

My partner works for a company that is working to help regulate crypto and hold the current bad actors in the space accountable for their actions. We unfortunately live in a time where technology develops far too fast for bureaucracy to keep up with, but just because people use a technology for ill gain doesn’t mean the technology itself is bad. The blockchain is something that she finds fascinating and powerful, and she is using her degree and her expertise to turn it into a tool for good.

I knew someone who always had a bag of treats in their purse, on the odd chance they came across a stray cat or dog, they had something to offer them.

I follow artists who post about every local election they know of, because they know their platform gives them more reach than the average person, and that they can leverage that platform to encourage people to vote in elections that get less attention, but in many ways have more impact on the direction our country is going to go.

All of this to say, there’s more than one way to do good in the world. Social media leads us to believe that the loudest, the most vocal, the most prolific poster is the most virtuous, but they are only a piece of the puzzle. (And if virtue for virtues sake is your end goal, you’ve already lost, but that’s a different post). Community is built of people leveraging their privileges to help those without them. We need people doing all of those things and more, because no individual can or should do all of it. You would be stretched too thin, your efforts valiant, but less effective in your ambition.

None of this is to encourage inaction. Identify your unique strengths, skills, and privileges, and put them to use. Determine what causes are important to you, and commit to doing what you can to help them. Collective action is how change is made, but don’t forget that we need diversity in actions taken.

Ruts. Also known as one of those phases in life where you are just existing and not really living. Where you are just going through the exact same cycle day by day just to keep yourself alive. 😕

Where you have no idea what's next or don't know what you are working towards. The phase where it gets to the point where it feels like you're just being dragged by life.🫥😵😵‍💫

That's when you know you need some clarity. 💯

And sometimes clarity requires stillness. So slow down if you will.

Other times clarity requires silence and solitude. Take time away from external stimuli because you can't hear yourself if you always surrounded by outside noise. 📢📢

And as you start to slow down and be still eventually the answers will come.

Maybe in the form of a burst of inspiration. Or coming across that one thing you used to enjoy but left halfway cause you never had the time for it. Or maybe through meeting rekindling an old friendship. 🫂🫶🏼

Anyway.... you never really know what that one choice can bring you as long as it's bringing you closer to your true self.🌸💫

So at the beginning of this month I had set a one word intention for the month which was growth.📈🌷

And so during the first week of this month, I took easy but at the same time I was consistent with my morning exercises and watching the required lecture videos (for each day) for the course I'm currently taking and also reading the books for this month - which I mentioned in my previous post.📚📖

Then come the second week, my dad sent me an email on this opportunity to help recent graduates learn about entrepreneurship and how later on you can present your idea and they could help you with funding if it's feasible, realistic etc.

And my first thought was "Nah, this is not for me. I'm so done with anything that has to do with university ( since that had to do with my burnout and all)."

"And also I've never really been good at stuff like this, so why even bother try." So I ignored it.

That week I also managed to finish the level 1 part of the course which is just content.📖 And for some reason I couldn't move on to level 2 - which requires interviewing people and having a practice session with them.👥

And so for the rest of that week I relaxed a bit telling myself I've done enough and this looked like bingeing on kdramas and just binge-reading a series of books (fiction) to pass time. Anything to avoid the work I was actually supposed to be doing.

And so come the third week, stuff just started happening. Like yes I had been focusing my attention and energy on stuff that had absolutely nothing to do with my intention or my goals but the amount of anxiety and overthinking that I started experiencing was insane. Like all these negative, fearful thoughts and self doubt was showing up. Like I haven't experienced that level of anxiety in a very long time. So let's just say that experience was awful. 😫😖😣

And so my plan was to get rid of it as soon as possible. So I did a bit of exercise just to ground myself and it wasn't very helpful. 🧘🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀

So I pulled my big girl pants on and sat with myself and those "ugly" feelings that were showing up and in that moment I was just asking for clarity. And so I slept hoping I could sleep it off.

Come next morning, those weren't that intense but they were still there. And sometime during the day I came across a post about limiting beliefs. And so I decided to do some journaling on the underlying and hidden beliefs underneath the behaviours I was portraying. And it's safe to say all that anxiety was my body's way of protecting me from pain. What pain you might ask? The discomfort of having to take actions that I normally just don't take - that could enable my growth. So these actions included starting level 2 of my course i.e. starting these practice sessions as I've never really been confident in my presentation skills. And also taking a chance on that entrepreneurial opportunity to enable my growth.

And so I came to find out the limiting beliefs around that were I did not believe that I was good enough to be wellness coach. I did not believe that I was capable of actually making a difference in the world. I was also very scared of failing.🙈😣

So that was the pain I was avoiding. The pain of having to face my fear of failure, fear of being judged or criticized.😬

So that's what I'm currently working on. And in order for me to prove that belief wrong I am going to have to take action as evidence that maybe I am good enough. That I can actually make a difference in the world. That I am capable of doing "hard" things.

And in order to do that I'm gonna need people I can practice sessions on. So if you've read till this point and you're wanting to make some changes in your life and you're willing and able to spare me an hour of your time per week. Please dm me to let me know.😊