Tough Love - Blog Posts

Missing my little buddy😔

Tough love.

What comes to mind when you think of tough love? Maybe you've been lucky enough to have been tough-loved the right way. I on the other hand can't deny that it works, but at what cost? At what cost? How high is the price paid? Why can't we lovingly teach, mentor or lead?

If tough love is what I've known it to be up to this point, I want no more. I want no parts in it. All it's ever done is break my heart, shatter my spirit. For me it's been outright cruelty disguised as 'tough love', so excuse me while I get the hell away from it. It's harmed me more than it has helped me.

I needed tender, warm, soft love to bloom and flourish but they were more focused on giving me a spine of steel. They used a staff whereas I just needed a hand to hold. I see all the ways I might've turned out different. And I know, I know this might just be a life lie but you can't deny I would've turned out different. I think for the better, they thought for the worse.

All of that shit they did, that they explained away as 'tough love': 'we're only trying to help you, you'll see', 'we only want what's best for you', 'you'll appreciate this', 'we care because we love you' or 'we wouldn't do this if we didn't love you'. Tell me why 'this', why 'care', why 'love', why 'best' was abusive? Verbal, physical, emotional abuse. Tell me it wasn't manipulative?

Now anytime someone says, "tough love" to me, my breath hitches I tense up, readying myself for hurtful shit. And if I am this way, am I gonna be receptive to what they're gonna be saying or trying to get across? Is what they're referring to as tough love a guise for abuse and cruelty? Do they sound accusatory? What measures do they resort to? Do they believe that tough love is the only way there is?

And maybe, just maybe, sometimes we do need tough love. Just remember it isn't whatever that is, that leaves you questioning your existence; whatever that is, that breaks your spirit, hurts you, leaves you crying. And no, you can't tell me that someone who cares about you or your wellbeing doesn't have the capacity to not be cruel to you. Doesn't have the capacity to be firm but gentle with you, which is what tough love should be.

turkish man🐱türkischer Mann🐱Турецкий мужчина türk erkekleri English subtitled 😾🙀😹😹😹

I ain’t no digital thug

But on the real

Some of ya need some digital hugs

I resonate with you truly I do

I just wish you knew how to resonate too.

We don’t have to agree

We don’t have to think the same

It’s doesn’t mean I hate

It doesn’t mean I’m lame

I just wish for things that are higher then this drama

Higher then the pain

The lives lost

Deteriorating mind frames

All at what cost?

Wake up

Return from the slumber

Stop sitting around

“I wonder, I wonder”

Can life truly be this hard?

It’s so simple

To me honestly

God said love others

Let’s start there

We’ll see

Let’s be fair

Put yourselves in someone else’s shoes

Quit playing victim

And live the life God dealt you

Live it to the fullest

Live it like a full house

Live it like an ace of spades

Stop playing fearful meek mouse

Fight for what’s right

And hop off the band wagons

Jesus coming soon ya better quit laggin.

I say this with so much love

Not because I’m perfect

Not because I judge

I just want you to make it home

So we can party up above.

-Illustratum Paradoxon

turkish man🐱türkischer Mann🐱Турецкий мужчина türk erkekleri English subtitled 😾🙀😹😹😹