Dazai: I Try To Be A Good Lover.

Today's Sigma: got punted :(

Vergil: *Slams the door to Devil May Cry open* Dante. The mother of my child is trying to kill me.

Dante: *Not looking up from his magazine* Which one?

Vergil: I know how to pick them....

Nikolai: *Finishes brutally murdering someone* And yet I still feel nothing. *Eye twitches*

Vergil talking about Y/n: I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I want to do something for them, but what?

Dante: Well, there’s the usual things. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep...

Sigma: If Santa were real, neither of would be on the nice list.

Fyodor: Actually Santa has my name carved in marble from all the crimes I’ve committed.

Nikolai: Forget coal. Santa’s coming down the chimney for me with a shotgun after what I just did.

Prompto: *six year old* Santa's watching you!

Ardyn: he stopped watching me after the last three hundred years for his safety of his mental state.

Cor: Prompto we need to talk about your problem.

Prompto: *in his pile of chocobo plushies* what problem?

How anime girls be standing when talking to the main character

Vere: lost your booster seat Mhin?

Mhin: choke on your boy toy’s cock whore!

Fyodor: I have been meaning to talk to you alone, Nikolai.

Nikolai: That’s great! I’ve been meaning to have a chat alone with you too!

Sigma: *walks by* Keep it in your pants, both of you!