‘home’

Kolya, my beloved...

I know that rose would spurt a water at me if I take it

Been obsessing over this unhinged clown more bcz of @cherikolya stalker AU fanfic (tysm for indirectly motivating me to be productive)

Go give it a try sinners, it's amazing and addicting 👊🏻💀

Guilt

Churches in Toruń

ok dleting this later but for now

im so indecisive...

🏩 ꒰꒰ Seele 。 ┣▇▇▇═─ Credit ﾉ Reblog to use , requested by anonnie , made by 🦑

˚｡⋆౨ Lovesick Fyodor ৎ₊˚

“I don’t want to want you / But in my dreams I seem to be more honest […] I think I might have fallen in love / What am I to do?” - Halley’s Comet, Billie Eilish

╰⪼ I love it when very powerful characters are vulnerable and I love it when emotionally reserved and stoic people are faced with being and feeling human and the whole spectrum of feelings that come with being human. Imagining Fyodor in love is a beautiful concept that I like playing around with recently and I definitely want more of it. Gentle, tender, human and vulnerable Fyodor; rare and beautiful to think and write about.

╰⪼ I wrote this spontaneously and my choice of words could be better, just know that this is fresh from the printer called my heart (shut up, Hio, you’re being sappy again), so…enjoy ♡

Lovesick Fyodor is such a stranger to being in love that he feels physically ill once he notices that something is off; his heart is fluttering all day, your face is on his mind at the most random times of day, he can’t fall asleep and doesn’t even feel tired, and his mind is so clouded with thick, sweet fog that he only feels half-conscious most of the time.

Lovesick Fyodor whose romantic feelings for you manifest in resentment and ill will towards you in the beginning. He hates your guts for making him feel this way without even noticing what agonies you’re putting him through; feeling…being vulnerable, shaky, and weak like you broke down the emotional walls, that he has built with great care and precision over many years, with just a glance and the tender touch of your hand.

Lovesick Fyodor, for once, has to face his mortality and the fact that he does have weak spots; hidden well from his enemies, but somehow, some pure soul managed to find the Achilles tendon that is his heart, and ripped it out of his chest and filled it with the sweet syrup of love that’s gradually invading his system and he can’t do anything about it.

Lovesick Fyodor is beyond clumsy with expressing his feelings. He can fake any emotion and manages to hide what he thinks so well it’s almost scary, but he’s a helpless fool once he admits his feelings to himself and is ready to let you know about it, too.

He remains polite as ever, his manners immaculate, but he can’t stop himself from blushing around you and is sinking into great despair when his attempts to subtly show you his love go unnoticed because they’re just a tad too subtle. Whether he will eventually muster the courage to be vocal about his affections for you or if the shackles that his pride put around his heart are too strong to completely let his guard down remains a mystery for now…

My phase for this man returns...

He is clown. He is bastard. He is a suspicious and shady type. He is demon. I know that as a demon, he could kill me without a moment's hesitation…

But I still love this clown-demon!

(I guess I have to get off my lazy ass and write something about him…)

Warning: a little ooc (?) | fluff | light angst in end

He really didn't expect that he could fell in love again. But this happened and he really...

Is he can love anyone?

This question sometimes bothered him and prompted him to serious thinks. Sometimes he felt as if he didn't deserve to any happiness in his life, even temporary. He even sometimes wondered, why you chose him and you want hang out with him...

— Honey... — Otto whispered silently and gently to your ear. He chuckled, when you tried cover yourself with a duvet, ignoring light sunlight which illuminated your room.

He opened the curtains without any warning. You complained in your bed, that you wanted sleep, but he only looked with pity on you and you knew that you don't had chance to win this battle with him.

— I have plan spend time with you today, but if you don't want... — he started say with pretending sad, but everyone, who knew him, would have noticed that is only his method to getting you out of bed. But, unfortunately for you, this was very effective method.

Apart from that, who would have refused those pretty emerald green eyes?

You quickly waked up and started eat his scrambled eggs, which he cooked for you. Of course, it was very delicious, but what to expect from his cooking skills? And you didn't allow forget him about this fact, what's caused a smile on his face.

— It's good that you like it. — he answered to your compliments. — Better, eat this now, my dear. I planned something special in this day.

— What have you planned? — you asked him with curiosity.

— It's suprise, my dear. Suprise. — for underline your words he put a finger on his lips, which you like kiss without end. Your cheeks blushed for those thinks, what's he quickly noticed with a little mischevious smile.

Every dark thinks about him leaved his mind, when you spended time with him. He really liked time which he spended with you. Only Theresa and Kallen evoked in him a such many positive emotions and feelings.

Kallen...

He wanted see your meeting with her; he had almost complete certainty, you would like her. But... when he thinks about this, he came more gloomy.

It's reminded him that this idyll will end.

— Hey! Earth to Otto! — you summon his from distant planet his plans and thinks. — We'll go or not?

— Of course, my dear. — on his face bloomed brilliant smile again, which you loved. He offered you his arm, what you accepted with blush.