Shake Would Not Be A Good Father To Any Of These Cupcubs - Blog Posts

As you can see, the rare New Jersey milkshake is relaxing while his cupcubs are seen frolicking around in the grass. They can be found in various parts of the South Jersey Shore, most commonly in places with open pools or working televisions.

While they may dawn a cute appearance, New Jersey milkshakes are actually huge dicks. Even at their cupcub stage, they can be very hostile towards other species, most especially meatballs and fries.

When encountering a New Jersey milkshake, the best thing to do to prevent an attack is to offer it anything it wants, mainly money, TV, Enchiladitos or nude magazines. If none are equipped, the milkshake will find ways to ruin your life in insanely traumatic ways, such as theft, torture and tormenting pets.

This has been National Swimographic. Tune in next week where we take a look at the Appalachian Mud Squid.