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Source: Brooklyn 99 - Blog Posts

5 years ago

China: What did you do?

Skulduggery : Remember when you told me not to burn down the sanctuary

China: YOU BURNT DOWN THE SANCTUARY!!!!!

Skulduggery: No, I had the fire put out almost immediately this is a success story


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1 year ago

Astrid: Hiccup, we need to talk.

Hiccup: Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt.


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1 year ago

Kunikida: Ranpo have you seen Dazai?

Ranpo, clearly lying: Um, no. That idiot's probably off working his dumb plan.

Ranpo, who also helps Dazai with his plan: He's so stupid.

Kunikida:

Ranpo: You know, the only reason the president hasn't fired him is that we're worried that he'll kill himself.

Ranpo: *leaves*

Kunikida, internally: Yep. They're up to something together.


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1 year ago

*married skk au where Chuuya is an ada member and he and Dazai brought their child to work*

Dazai: Chibi, we know where the serial killer is. Me and Kunikida will go arrest him. I need you to take the baby.

Chuuya: No, you need to take the baby. I have to go right now.

Dazai: So what do we do???

Chuuya: I guess we can call that creepy babysitter we interviewed this morning.

Dazai: Turned out that babysitter is the serial killer we are looking for.

Chuuya, yelling: Even better! Two birds, one stone. We bring him to you!

Dazai, yelling: We're not giving our baby to a serial killer!


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1 year ago

*married soukoku au*

Chuuya: I dont understand. I thought we were on the same page about kids. We talked about this.

Dazai: We did?

*flashback*

Chuuya: Aw, look at these pictures of Q and Elise.

Chuuya: *shows photos of the kids in a water park*

Dazai: Mm.

Chuuya: We should do this someday. What do you think?

Dazai: Are you kidding me? Of course!

*end of flashback*

Dazai: I was talking about going to the water park! You were talking about having kids???

Chuuya: Yeah! I said, "Do you think we can afford it?" and you said, "We'll start saving right away."

Dazai: So you mean, all that water park money I've been saving, you want to spend it on kids now?


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1 year ago

Dazai: *has music loud while dancing in the middle of the office*

Kunikida, turning down the volume: Get back to work, now Dazai!

Dazai: How dare you, Iago, Backstabber?

Kunikida: I'm surprised you've read Othello.

Dazai: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.


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1 year ago

*the agency reorganizes and cleans the office cause it is a total mess*

Kunikida: We need a more efficient method. What about the Norwegian system Munkensmat?

The ada: ???

Kunikida: In Munkensmat, you get rid of all personal possessions except one.

Dazai: Ok I'll go first. It's between my antidepressants and this fidget spinner.

Dazai: *throws in the can his meds*

Dazai: I think I made the right call.


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