This Was Utterly Insane And I Love It - Blog Posts

A Hole in the Earth

John Price x f!Reader | read on ao3 | thank you @glossysoap <3 for beta reading

One day, the earth opens up and swallows you whole. There's nothing that remains of you, except John Price's wife.

cw: rape/non-con, abduction, drugging, physical/corporal punishment (being spanked with a belt), non-con touching/groping, non-con medical procedures (lobotomy), forced gender roles, forced marriage, body horror, forced pregnancy, John is not mentally sound, dead dove, one shot, dark fic, i am being so serious when i say reader is forcefully undergoes a lobotomy.

The moment his eyes find you, you’re his — not that you’re aware of it.

John Price is a quiet man who lives a not-so-quiet life, but he desperately wants to. Some deep part of him yearns for a life in a cottage planted next to the lowering seaside thick with brine and mist. There, he could work on the fringes of some dewy forest. Craft items to sell like they did in the times of yore until the scent of some freshly cooked dinner called him home. 

Inside the cottage, he would find his wife with a plump, happy child babbling on her hip. She’d smile and greet him while setting their child in their seat and she’d rattle off all the adorable things the baby did that day. He’d stuff himself full, comment on his widening waistline, and they’d spend the evening reading in the living room together. Curled up together like huddling animals until their child was yawning and whiny. 

Once the bassinet swallowed his little one whole, and the house and earth was quiet, he’d lay his wife down to rest. Flat on her back, legs pushed up against the press of his hips as he ruts into her. And he’d whisper quiet words into her skin, little thanks for the work she does and the child she’s given him — preemptively thanking her for the next one she’s bound to carry after tonight. 

This is the life he’s dreamed of having, and the moment his eyes spot you entering the library, his heart nearly stops. 

Here you are — the woman he imagines marrying. Everything about you is perfect. The angles of your body and the poise you carry yourself with as you float between shelves of books. Stalking behind you, he can’t help but think your rump would look much better if you were to change out of those jeans and into a dress like any proper wife would, but he drops the specifics as you settle into a table tucked next to the floor to ceiling windows. 

Yes; here you are. The quintessence of the woman he’s dreamed of. Of posture and presentation, everything about you on a physical level is perfect—

—until you open your mouth.

As a friend comes to join you at the table, and your pretty lips get to flapping, John learns much about you and your anomalous life. How you’re studying hard for some degree, about the exam you have on Monday and the way’s you’ve been attempting to mitigate the stress. It’s difficult working towards a PHD. Of being the first woman in your family to attempt to earn such a feat. 

The idea of it all makes his head spin as he covertly flips through the book he stopped reading ten pages back. You — with your wide eyes and wet lips — deserve to be taken care of. Living a stress free life where your only worry should be about what to do with the food he provides, or what hobby you intend on indulging on for the day, or what to name the child growing in your womb. 

Really, it’s a shame the world has come to this. Where men scarcely provide for the women they marry, and mothers must slave away at jobs they shouldn’t need just to feed their children. A woman’s place is at home, comfortable behind strong walls and closed doors where she can cultivate a family and live a quiet life full of love and warmth. 

But John Price is just one man, and he knows he cannot save everyone. The blood staining his hands and the bones crushed beneath the soles of his boots remind him of this fact every single day. It haunts him the way rot precedes death. 

But he can — at the very least — save you. 

Most creatures wail at the sight of salvation, and you are no different. 

It takes time, like all things do, for the drugs in your system to dissipate into your blood. You begin to stir in the backseat of his car around the halfway mark home. John spares glances back at you. Looks at you just long enough to catch the drooping of your eyes and the pinched skin between your brows as you grumble and groan. The bindings on your wrists sour the view you create upon the leather seats, but he tells himself it’s just to keep you — his new wife — safe. 

Sweet things like you are known to hurt themselves in their confusion. His deliverance is bound to be petrifying until you make sense of it. Until he can show you the light of safety. Of security. 

His light. 

“W… what?” 

He’s leading you into the cottage — the house he’s always dreamed of — when you finally get your first word out of your mouth. It feels heavy on your tongue. A fat weight that threatens to choke you as you stumble alongside him. 

“Easy now, love,” John coos. “Let’s lay down now.” 

It isn’t until the next morning that you wake with your wits intact. Finally compos mentis, your eyes flutter open and your heart races at the sight of unfamiliar surroundings and an equally unfamiliar man. These walls are too rich to be part of your flat, and you don’t remember the sheets smelling of tobacco. 

A furious ache pounds behind your skull, so much so that you’ve nearly convinced yourself that the scene playing out in front of you is something you’ve hallucinated. John stands in front of you, back turned your direction, as he shamelessly undresses. Worn nightwear is haphazardly tossed into a hamper, and you helplessly witness as the thick muscles in his legs push him towards the dresser. 

He’s tall. Towers over most other men. Squinting, you try to scrounge up a memory of the man. Search for something familiar about him, but there’s nothing. You don’t recognize a single thing about him; not the dark hair that covers his chest and stomach, nor the glinting sapphire hue of his eyes as he turns to face you with a smile, now fully dressed. 

Too scared to move, the only thing you can do is lay there as he approaches the bed. You don’t realize your hands are bound until he grabs them, kneeling on the floor. Your stomach turns as he kisses your knuckles and thumbs over the newly placed ring on your finger. 

“Good morning, my love.” 

This — you learn — is your new life. With a dazzling gem on your finger, and a man who claims to be your husband, you find yourself trapped in a twisted paradise of John’s own creation. You are caught in the transitional period of shock and fear. Your body knows this is not right, and it fills your legs with all the hot blood it needs to flee, and yet you are as rigid as a statue. Frozen beneath John’s adoring gaze as he insists on doing everything with you. 

He dresses you in pale, milky dresses — no jeans allowed, he says. Leading you around the cottage, he introduces you to every room. The living room, the kitchen, the nursery. Each word he speaks has you swallowing and nodding your head, but you can’t help but think why he would feel the need to show you this place if you were truly his wife like he claims. 

Deluded. Erroneous. This man sees love where there is only confusion.

Your fear placates you only until lunch time. Really, it’s John’s fault. He should’ve known that a frazzled woman such as yourself wouldn’t do well around sharp objects. There’s no one to blame but himself for the four tiny holes that dot his bicep. Evenly spaced, the fork prongs don’t make it too deeply into his skin before he grabs your wrist. The muscles in his jaw flex as he huffs, the gentle hue of his blue eyes somehow darkening into something more virulent. 

He drags you into the bedroom after that. Mutters something about how ungrateful you’re being as he pushes you toward the bed. You rage against him as he forces you onto your stomach and lifts the skirt of your dress. The clinking of metal sends your eyes widening, and there is an unforgiving agita that thrashes in your stomach. 

Would it be easier if you were not aware of the brutality that men are capable of? 

“Please don’t,” you beg. “Please, don’t do this. I don’t- I won’t do that again.” You’ve no choice but to beg as your palms push against the mattress, only for you to be shoved back into the bed. “I’m sorry! I swear it!” He’s too strong. “Don’t do this, please…”

You can only sob as he tugs at your underwear, exposing you to him. 

Then comes the leather. Harsh, sharp cracks fill the bedroom as John’s belt crashes against your skin. It stings. The pain settles deep into your flesh until you swear you feel it split. Crack open until it’s raw and screaming just as loud as you. Cries rip through your throat until it’s just as sore as your rump, yet you attempt to stifle your sounds as you press your face into the duvet. Maybe, if you try hard enough, you can suffocate in the sheets. 

He stops after eight. Figures that two strikes for each hole in his skin is plenty. You flinch at the feeling of his hand rubbing over your skin, as if his touch is the only emollient comfort you need after such violence. His weight sinks into the bed as he leans to you. 

“I don’t like doing this, my love,” he whispers. His breath is hot against the shell of your ear, and somehow he sounds sincere. “Please don’t make me do this again in the future.” 

It’s humiliating playing into his fantasy. Of being some sweet, submissive and obedient wife. In a way, that’s all he’s rendered you as. Stuffing you in dresses and aprons while cuddling up to you at night as if you’re long wedded lovers. Yet, you don’t know how to leave. You don’t know how to free yourself from this place, so far out of the clutches of humanity. The only human close by is your false husband, and even then you’re not too sure that claim is true. 

Sometimes, John talks about things as if you were there to witness them. As if you remember them yourself. About you meeting his best mates or quality time spent together walking along the shoreline that skirts the property. He even laments about the honeymoon the two of you shared together. How he still sees visions of you splayed out on the bed before him — he even admits how disappointed he was when you didn’t conceive that night. 

He shares his confession as he forces you to curl up on the couch next to him. His longing words are paired with a lingering hand on your stomach. 

Never before have you wished to reach into yourself and rip out your womb like you do now. 

Despite living in his delusions, John is otherwise kind — so long as you manage not to crack the eggshells that litter the ground around your feet. You are always fed and watered — like any good husband would do for his wife — and the cottage is always warm. The clothes on your back are some of the highest quality you’ve ever worn, and he has not spanked you with his belt since you attacked him with your dinner fork. 

But there is an insidiousness that seeps out of the walls and into the air. It starts with longing gazes that linger on your stomach. Such fixation on your body leaves it riddled with frazzled nerves. You find your fingers trembling at the dinner table as you bring another spoonful of soup to your mouth. 

John watches you and daydreams. It’s obvious what he craves, and still you try to convince yourself things are no different as he rises from his seat. Nothing is different as his hands rest on your shoulders, thumbs digging into the taut muscle of your back. Nothing is different as his hands slip forward, kneading along your breasts until his palms are flat on your stomach. 

Your spoon drops into the bowl with a clink. 

“Come to bed with me, darling,” he whispers, body still hunched over yours. 

So you do, because what other choice do you have? 

It isn’t until John has you stripped bare in front of him — just like he soliloquized to you about your non-existent honeymoon — that you realize you’d much rather face his belt than this. The heat of his skin against yours. The way his chest hair brushes against your nipples. The scratching of his facial hair on the inside of your neck. 

Panic doesn’t truly settle in until his pants come off and you’re able to witness in pure horror just how much he wants you. You watch him with a trembling bottom lip as you lay on your back. Your brain attempts to urge you to flee. It fills your body with more warmth than you can handle, and you fear you’ll melt into the bed long before you find liberation. 

He knocks your legs open with a simple swish of his knee. Brutally cold air hits your sex, only to be smothered with warmth once more as he blankets himself over you. 

“John,” you stutter with chattering teeth. “I… I think I’d like to go to sleep now.” 

It’s as if you made no sound at all. His hips stretch your legs wide, and you can feel the weight of his cock hit the inside of your thighs. Your mind reels; desperately searching for a solution to this impending doom. 

“J-John.” 

“Sleep?” he repeats as if he just now heard you. His words reverberate in your chest as his head dips low into the crook of your neck. “We’ve hardly started.” 

Whatever protest is left inside of you quickly dies down as his lips press against yours. Even the hands you use to attempt to push him away are forced to relent as he weaves his fingers between yours. Intertwined as if you were lovers. 

Then there’s the intrusion. The splitting of your cunt as he pushes into you. John meets resistance inside of you as your muscles tense; every cell in your body detests him. Your breathing stops — breathing is impossible when everything in your body seems to turn to stone. Going from the state of liquid to a solid so quickly leaves your brain fuzzy and unable to think. John groans against your lips at your perceived tightness, and then he continues. 

Tears stain your face as he bottoms out, bodies molding together until you’re flush tight. Your thoughts go blank as this man — your self proclaimed husband — finds his rhythm. It’s nothing but stark white in your brain until there’s an eruption of terror. Of realization. 

The eyes are the window to the soul, and all John’s eyes have done the last few days is dream of a child. Of your swollen belly. 

It’s not your first time sobbing on this bed, and you’re sure it won’t be the last. Grief consumes you as you realize what this terrible union means — of what it will do to you, mind, body and soul. Grunting, John attempts to soothe you. He murmurs little praises into your skin but it means nothing to you. The churning of your stomach drowns out his promises to take care of you and the child he’s about to give you. 

Still, you cry. Any attempts to stifle them are fruitless as your tears seem never ending, and you can’t even muster a false moan. John huffs as he leans back to look at you — nothing but a wet mess. Eyes wrenched shut, head turned to the side as if you can’t stand to look at him. He attempts to continue, to snap his hips against yours, but his movements cease. 

“Really, darling?” he huffs. 

When all you can do is hiccup in response, John pulls out. He shoves himself away from you and slides off of the bed with a bestial growl. Trembling, you turn on your side as you listen to his feet carry him away from the bed. 

“Ruinin’ the fuckin’ mood,” he grumbles. 

After that, he locks himself in the bathroom. When your breathing calms, you’re able to make out faint moans as he finishes himself off. That night, he sleeps facing away from you. 

Convinced that you’ve upset John beyond repair, you find yourself playing into the role of his wife more than you usually would. Going as far as to fake smiles when he enters the kitchen, or even trot off across the vast property to give him a glass of water as he splits wood for the upcoming winter. Your skin crawls. Performing such tasks for this monster that’s trapped you to this pitiful existence is the last thing you wish to do. 

Still, you’re all too wary of how your fate rests in the palm of his hand. 

He does not spit venom at you like he did the night of your failed coitus. There is no shoving you onto the bed to spank you with his belt. In fact, he acts the way he always has. Telling stories that never existed anywhere else other than in fabrication, and holding you close as if he can’t get enough of the touch of your skin. 

For a short while, you are able to live thinking you’ve gone through the worst of it — this life as a bride prisoner. 

It isn’t until you’re brought to the shed that you realize you are sorely mistaken. 

You’re not sure why John has insisted you accompany him outside. There are vague promises of the intention to show you something, yet he refuses to share what. Hand holding yours, he leads you across the soft grass field and to the shed where he stores his work tools. You do not notice the new vehicle parked at the end of the lane, only the bright light that seems to be seeping through the gaps near the doorknob. 

John opens the door to reveal a stranger and a table. He’s tall, nearly scrapes the ceiling with the top of his head — taller than John, even. He watches you with dull eyes as he pursues several metal tools on a small cart. This stranger looks up at you as if you’ve interrupted something important. You had expected simple gardening tools to await you on this side of the entrance, and instead you’re greeted with some macabre horror that sends ice down your spine. Leather restraints. A medical mask over a scarred face. Blue gloves.

You’re hardly able to make sense of the scene before you when something pinches the skin of your arm. It stings worse than a bee, and when you go to swat at the sensation, you suddenly feel the tingling mute. There’s a flash of a needle as John wraps his hand around your waist, and your knees turn to water as he leads you further inside the small wooden structure. 

“This won’t take long, my love,” he whispers to you as if it’s a secret. 

Table. Wood. It hurts your back. Your head. Everything is slow. Obtund. You try to move your limbs but you realize this stranger has already trapped you within the restraints. Something smells sweet. Oddly sweet, and yet clinical. Antiseptic. Iodine. Something. Your head sways as you look for John, but he’s nowhere to be found. 

“Does this hurt?” 

The stranger's question leaves your eyes fluttering. You don’t realize he’s poking your arm with a needle, piercing your skin in the process, until he forces your head to look at it. 

“N-No,” you stutter. 

“Good.” 

You feel the odd pressure of more injections into your body, and eventually you’re so cocainized you can hardly keep a single thought from fluttering between your fingers. 

“What’s… what are you doing?” you slur. 

“Fixin’ you,” the man responds, accent thick and voice scratchy. He’s wearing long sleeves, but you can see the tattoo’s peek out right where the latex of his glove doesn’t quite meet the cloth. “John says you’ve been a bad wife.” 

A cacophony of thoughts flood your brain. Fix you? Like a pet? Like an animal? No, no but he wants children. So then what? What is there to change about you? 

“No… no I’m not his wife,” you babble. “He’s not- he’s just a stranger. He took me. Abduc… ted? Please… you… help me, please.” 

The stranger hums, and you catch the dark glint in his eyes flickering as he looks at the ring on your left hand. 

“Got a ring, don’t ya? Means you’re a wife,” he challenges. Gloved hands press against your forehead, pushing you against the table. Then, he retrieves something that looks akin to an icepick. Thin, long — like a needle. He presents it as if it’s a tool for work instead of a tool for horror. “Hold still, yeah? And keep talking. Wanna make sure I’m not scrambling the wrong parts.” 

It would be easier to say that you don’t remember what happens next — and perhaps you’ve forgotten parts of it — but you do remember. You remember the important bits. The pressure behind your eye as the pick is inserted behind your eyelid. The scraping crunch! of it breaking the thin bone just above your ocular nerve. And then, the cutting. The slicing. Dividing. 

Synapses and neurons, shut off. Brain forcefully compartmentalized. Thoughts and memories separated until there is no more anxiety or fear. 

There is no more you. That woman before is gone, as are her aspirations. That PHD is no longer just out of your reach, but long forgotten. 

You are — as you should be — the perfect wife. 

John Price has never been happier. His wife cooks delicious food and decorates the house to her heart's content with pictures and the wildflowers she picks from the lane outside their home. She always smiles when he enters the room, and returns every kiss he gives her. For some reason, she’s grown rather quiet ever since her procedure. Words seem to fail her, but he doesn’t mind her quietness. The only words she needs to convey are with her loving gaze. 

It’s those little moments that bring him pleasure, but his true joy greets him when he arrives home from a hard day’s work. 

Swaying in the kitchen, child in your arms, you greet John the same way you always do — with a smile. He grins ear to ear as he approaches you, hands resting on your hips as he stares down at his son. A year after your procedure, you blessed him with an heir; a son to nurture and provide for. Only a few weeks old, the babe sleeps soundly in your arms with fluttering eyelids as he dreams. 

“Here darling, let me,” John urges. 

Slipping his son from your arms, you smile up at him before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. Turning around, you continue your work at the stove with swaying hips and a gentle hum — the only skill you seem to remember with your voice is sweet melodies. John doesn’t mind it. In fact, he rather enjoys watching you hum his son to sleep as he feeds upon your breast. 

Bouncing the child in his arms, John smiles to himself as he watches you. Daydreams bearing fruit in reality, he soaks up every moment of this life he’s built for himself. This quiet life he never thought was obtainable until he met you. The woman of his dreams. 

The woman he turned into the perfect wife.

Most creatures wail at the sight of salvation, and you were no different once upon a time ago. A bird always screams when first locked in a cage. But as you motion for him to sit at the table with a fresh plate of food in your hand, John is confident you’ll never cry at his generosity again. 

In the end, caged birds always remember how to sing.