Sigma: So You Were Born On April First?

Ignis: Why is Prompto in the hospital?

Noctis: We filled Gladio's locker with shaving cream and water balloons.

Ignis: And let me guess. He tripped on the shaving cream.

Noctis: No. He just wasn't able to out run Gladio.

Nero: I'd give my right arm to find out who my parents really are

Vergil: Wish granted

Vergil: *rips off Nero's right arm*

Vergil: I'm your father

Dazai: I try to be a good lover.

Chuuya: He got my boss to convince me to dress up like a vampire to trick an anemic bastard into thinking I was on his side. He then proceeded to try and drown me with said bastard.

Dazai: Yeah well you shot me.

Kunikida: WHY ARE YOU TWO IN MY APARTMENT?! ITS 3 AM IN THE MORNING!

Noctis: you're the bad guy. Why are you attractive!?

Ardyn: so I can say this. "Come to the dark side, we have me~"

I'm surprised I'm not dead for going against him.

Have any of the others like Regis, Gladio, or Ignis thought of sedating him? (I.e. Sleeper hold, a tranquilizer, or a straitjacket like Hannibal Lector style)

Gladiolus: *covers face with hands and groans*

Clarus: *scowls* You fool! You think we haven’t?!

Gladiolus: I lost count of how many times I shot him with a tranquilizer or used the sleeper hold on him. I know for a fact that he purposely pushed me to doing it so he could call me ‘the sandman’.

Clarus: Therapy is completely useless since he’s able to brainwash the weak-minded fools!

Gladiolus: Straitjackets? He knows how to escape them and has a collection. And Iggy? Regis practically made him royalty with how much power he has.

Clarus: And all to keep that son of his from destroying the city! It’s a miracle young Scientia is not a mad man like Noctis.

Gladiolus: If you have any suggestions, we’re willing to hear a few.

Clarus: I’ll give you my wealth and soul if you can stop that boy.

Noctis: *shows up* Yo, Clarinet. I sensed you were talking about me so I came over.

Gladiolus: speak of the devil.

Noctis: I’m human.

Clarus: *hisses* Lies! *points to the door* AND GET OUT.

It could be either, I sometimes get the weapons mixed up.

Nero: Ver- I Mean dad I got you a gift for Christmas.

Vergil: *surprised that Nero actually got him something.* what is it-

Nero: *stabs Vergil with blue rose* MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!

Bsd cats!! ♡

Look how adorable it is for them!! :>

Who would be the one to trick Thief MC into a spar just to pin them or trick them into being pinned by MC?

Diana: I made a trap that will rip the very skin off a man the moment he enters a room! Let call Ardyn!

Noctis: I have him on speed dial

Ignis: STOP FEEDING HER MURDEROUS TENDENCIES!

Kuras: *lecturing Mhin and Mc trying to break into the Senobium* You two are going to die if you keep this up

Mc: *not skipping a beat* we’re all gonna die into 60 years or so.